1.19 In Which the Dark Lord is Brought to Justice

1.19 In Which the Dark Lord is Brought to Justice

There he was, in the flesh, mostly as I remembered him. It wasnt like Shinonome Yoshis visage was burned into my brain, but there were exactly two Japanese people on this planet and only one was that chunky, and also not me.

Actually, he looked a tad less chunky than I recalled, though not so in shape that the armor hed found fit him well. The leather armor was meant for someone smaller and was strapped awkwardly to his chest, making most of his stomach bulge out underneath itwhich was unfortunately visible as the shirt and coat under the armor had been sized for someone larger, but large as in muscle, so it was baggy around the chest and shoulders and quite tight across the gut. And he still hadnt washed his hair. Poor kid couldnt have looked less heroic if he rolled in mud.

Yoshi now had an entourage, but for a few startled moments as he and I stared at each other in mutual astonishment I ignored them, even as their unsubtle conversation filled the air around us.

So this is the one.

He does have similar features

Come on, why would the Dark Lord be in some hick-ass town in a backwater like Donut? This place is halfway to the core.

Its Dount.

Nobody cares, Pashi!

H-he recognized Yoshi, tooI think it has to be

Oh my god, Yoshi, are you okay? I exclaimed, overriding their chatter. I spoke half out of genuine relief and half following an instinctive drive to mischief. After the greeting I got in this shithole country, I figured youd be dead! Man, youve lost weight I mean, you had it to lose, but still, its barely been a week! Are you eating okay? Do you need money? Aster, gimme my coin pouch, we can spare Yoshi a couple gold halos. Hes good people.

I, uh...n-no, you dont have to do that, Yoshi stammered. He looked even more surprised than I was; clearly he hadnt come to Gwyllthean looking for me. Please, you dont need to worry, Im fine! Its, uh, kinda difficult adjusting to life here, but Ive made good friends already! Oh, Im sorry, Omura-san, these are

Hold on, Yoshi, chimed a shrill little voice. Do you really think its wise to start tellingthis guy in particular all about your business?

Holy shit, I exclaimed, having spotted the source of the voice after a couple seconds of searching. At issue was that it was a sunny day and she was all of ten centimeters tall, dressed in perfect sky blue to match her delicate butterfly wings, and hovering overhead where she was framed against the sky. If she hadnt fluttered lower to hang around Yoshis shoulder, it probably would have taken me longer to spot her. What theyou got a cute little pixie? Oh, that is just unfair.

Yeah? the tiny woman shot back. Wheres your familiar, Mister Dark Lord?

Biribo was tucked in Asters pocket as usual when we were in the city, and I hoped to god he had the sense to damn well stay there. Also, I belatedly noticed that we were drawing stares. It was a nicer area of town, this was a loud conversation involving two obvious foreigners (one of whom lacked the basic wit to keep his familiar hidden in public), and that all-important title which had been used twice now.

I put on a confused frown. Why do you people keep calling me that? Youve got weird friends, Yoshi.

Hey, theyre good people, the Hero started to protest, but then another figure barged in front of him, planting herself square in my field of vision and pointing an artifact rapier and a scowl at me.

Enough! If this is truly him, then the Goddess has guided our steps here. Lets be rid of this evil before he starts his path of conquest!

And that was how I met my first elf.

Scowl aside, she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, to the point that it crested the bell curve and started to become less attractive and more unsettling. On Earth youll see the effect from time to time in rich women whove had way too much plastic surgery, or models in ads in which the photoshopping got excessive. Theres an uncanny valley effect that kicks in when features are a little too idealized. When it came to elves, in addition to the trademark long, pointed ears, this manifested in extremely refined and dainty features, which Actually, much as I hated to acknowledge it, she looked like a photorealistic anime character. Like shed stepped out of one of those extremely ill-advised 3D movies the Final Fantasy people keep making, from which Ive seen stills that warned me off subjecting myself to the nightmare fuel of watching one even if I was that interested in cartoons.

Of course, all this was my perspective as someone who had seen plenty of real women, close enough to properly appreciate them. This girl undoubtedly had poor Yoshi wrapped around her little finger, whether she wanted him there or not.

Excuse me, young woman, I said stiffly, ignoring the sword, we are in the middle of a conversation. Were you raised in a barn?

To judge by her expression, not only had no one ever spoken to her that way, she had never contemplated the possibility that someone could. Yoshi just looked (more) nervous, but his other three friends all immediately bit down on their lips to suppress outward amusement. The pixie clapped a tiny palm to her tiny forehead. And just like that, I understood most of what I needed to about this groups dynamic.

Now hear this, the elf snarled, raising her sword to point at my throat.

Come on, Lady Flaethwyn, the only other man in the group, a tall lowborn fellow with a ponytail carrying an artifact spear, you cant just stab somebody in the middle of the street. This isnt your Clans territory, remember?

Please dont get us arrested, added another girl, sounding as nervous as Yoshi. I glanced at her, then had to do a double-take; only the fact that Id been distracted by Heroes and pixies and elves had prevented this one from being the first thing to catch my notice. She seemed like a pretty average lowborn Fflyr woman, if on the short side, in her late teens at the most. Except that her hairincluding eyebrowswas a vivid pink.

Whoah, I said, blinking at her. Hey, guys, Ive spotted the main character.

At my direct attention, she immediately slid backward and ducked half-behind the guy with the spear.

Leave her alone! Flaethwyn barked, flicking the tip of her sword in a tight circle less than half a meter from my face. Your business is with me, Champion of Virya!

The fifth member of the group, a blonde highborn woman wearing well-fitted robes and narrow spectacles, cleared her throat pointedly. Assuming, for the sake of argument, its decided that having a public altercation is not the terrible idea it looks like Wouldnt his business be, specifically, with Yoshi?

Yoshi himself, I could tell by his expression, was having a very Japanese moment: increasingly irritated with how he was being disregarded here, but too polite to complain and unwilling to make an issue of it. The elf herself flushed at the sudden reminder that she was upstaging the Champion of Sanora, but rallied by sticking her nose in the air and the tip of her sword perilously close to mine. I could see it was an artifact from the subtle glow around it, but not what exactly it did. For that Id need Biribo, and right now I really preferred that he stay hidden.

Thatstheres no need the That is, Yoshi still early in his training! Obviously, this cretin is the same. This is the chance to cut him off before he does any damage! You and I can handle this, Pashilyn. Be ready to support me with spells! And you. If youve any last words, this is the final moment to voice them!

The silly wench actually struck a pose, arching her back to stick her chest out and brandishing the rapier at me in a one-handed grip, nose somehow even higher in the air than before.

I eyed her up and down as slowly and insolently as I could, just until her cheeks went scarlet with rage, then leaned to the side, talking past her entirely.

Excuse me, miss. I dont mean to alarm you, but it appears that your hair is pink.

In hindsight, I was at fault for what followed. After only a week on Ephemera my survival instincts hadnt fully adjusted; I failed to consider how a spoiled noblewoman in a society which probably let her do anything she wanted would react to being treated in a manner which suited her behavior.

Flaethwyn was fastshe moved quicker than my own eyes could follow, probably due to a combination of martial training and her swords own power. That thing came straight at my chest at a speed that would undoubtedly have killed me, except that Aster also had an artifact sword, and much better social instincts than I did for dealing with Fflyr aristocracy. She must have started moving even before Flaethwyn did to intercept her, as even with the power of her greatsword it was a much slower weapon than the rapier. But she managed it, interposing herself between us, and that one deflection was all she needed. Slow it might be, but the sheer force of its much greater weight as it connected made the elf stagger, nearly losing her grip on her rapier.

Aster planted herself between us, causing me to stumble backward and forcing all of Yoshis group to retreat as she raised the greatsword; its considerable length was very good for enforcing personal space.

Oh, very true indeed, I agreed in my most genial tone. I imagine it must happen from time to time that you have to make decisions outside the normal procedures just to get anything done around here.

I suppose, at times, it does happen that some minor detail would only be a waste of my superiors time, Norovena agreed in a very casual tone. Its a balancing act, you see, Lord Seiji. Ensuring the will of the highborn sometimes involves judgment calls to avoid cluttering up their agendas with trivial nonsense.

Exactly! You took the words right out of my mouth, Captain. I stopped the spinning coin with one fingertip, then tipped it over onto the desktop. Why, in this case After all, what is this but a little kerfuffle caused by a few high-spirited youths? I already feel bad for the time your men have spent on it. Id be dreadfully embarrassed to have the time of such a person as the islands governor wasted on my account.

As courteous as you have been about this whole affair, my lord, I too would be terribly reluctant to cause you any such imposition, Norovena agreed solemnly.

I placed a second gold halo atop the first one, and then a third. Now, if I know bureaucraciesand I doany little deviation from procedure causes all kinds of extra administrative costs to pile up. If you were willing to help me avoid such awkwardness, obviously I would be only too happy to cover the necessary expenses.

With one fingertip, I pushed the stack of coins across the table. I still didnt have much economic frame of reference here, but by the best guess Id cobbled together, a gold halo would cover the salary of a city guard for at least a week. Maybe a month? Apparently it was enough; Captain Norovena didnt hesitate, smoothly sweeping the coins off his side of the desk even as he answered.

I can already tell youre a man of impeccable judgment, Lord Seiji. If I could trouble you for an opinion, what do you think would be the most reasonable way to handle these troublemakers?

I glanced over at the Hero and his party lined up along the wall in chains, their wide eyes all fixed on me as they waited to learn what terrible fate the Dark Lord had in store for them.

It seems to me all of this has been blown out of proportion, I said, deliberately keeping my tone light. Yoshis a good kid, that I can vouch forhes just fallen in with the wrong crowd. Why, at worst, Lady FrFulah, the young elf there seems to lack common sense and a knowledge of acceptable behavior in public. The rest of them were even trying to restrain her when your men intervened, Captain. I can only imagine how annoyed the governor would be to have his time wasted with this. I think what these kids need is a night in a cell to reinforce the fact that their actions have consequences. And then areasonable fine for the return of their weapons and belongings, yes? In fact, after that, I rather suspect they will be model citizens henceforth. You know how it is with the young: they just need to have boundaries set.

A very wise assessment, Lord Seiji, the captain agreed, nodding solemnly. Truly, I think that will be for the bestit will save effort all around! For me, and for the Clans who would otherwise have to clean up after this little mishap. I will see to it the kids have to endure no more than one uncomfortable night. No doubt youre right, and that will be all the lesson they need. He finished in a hard tone, turning his glare upon the prisoners. Amell and Yoshi began babbling nearly incoherent agreement.

I interrupted by setting another gold halo on the desk with a soft click. And CaptainI realize this will be an imposition, but I do have a request.

Oh? His eyes fixed on the coin for a moment before he met my gaze again. Im happy to accommodate you, my lord!

I withdrew my hand slightly. Im sure, with a modicum of effort, its within your power to ensure the girls are watched over such that none of the more disreputable elements within your ranks get anywhere near them. Id hate to think of myself as having been responsible for ladies being treated in any way disrespectfully.

That should not be a problem, he agreed, reaching for the halo. For just one night, I can arrange that without disrupting the schedule too much, I should think

I slapped my hand back over it.

Seriously. I stared at Norovenas eyes, making my tone as suddenly cold as my expression. If I were to learn they have been mistreated in any way, I cannot begin to describe how unhappy I will be. Captain.

We are of one mind, my lord. His appearance was so deeply serious I might even have believed it, had I not just confirmed for myself what a well-mannered sleazeball the man was. As gentlemen and men of the world, its incumbent upon us to protect the fairer sex from all harm.

I knew you would understand, I said much more pleasantly, withdrawing my hand and allowing him to grab the last halo. I had you pegged for an honorable man right from the beginning, Captain.

That is deeply gratifying, my lord, coming from such an excellent judge of character as yourself.

There came a soft clink of chains as Pashilyn stepped forward from the wall, raised her manacled hands, and folded them down in my direction. Thank you very much, Lord Seiji, for your graciousness. We are all of us deeply grateful.

Seiji-san, Yoshi agreed with a solemn nod, arigatou gozaimashita.

Flaethwyn, Pashilyn added in a near growl.

The elf looked like she was about to be sick and would rather do that and then lick it up, but to her credit, she did step forward and offer me a jerky nod. Iappreciate your forbearance. Lord Seiji.

Least I could do, I said magnanimously, and exchanged a jovial wink with Captain Norovena.

Accidental as this whole encounter had been, and despite the money Id just pissed away on bribes, I was counting it as a win. I now knew which guard captain was amenable to being paid off. That would undoubtedly be very useful in the near future. And in the longer term, it meant I knew which guard captain to quietly dispose of once I was running this town.

So, correct me if Im wrong, Aster said later as we made our way to the city gates, butisnt that guy kind of divinely compelled to try to kill you? It seems odd that youd go out of your way to help them like that. Especially from the consequences of their own actions.

I know what Im doing, Aster. Yoshis a dumb kid with a good heart; the last thing I want is to play into the fantasy he thinks hes living by validating whatyou-know-who told him. Now theyve all got something to think about. Trust me, this will pay dividends the next time we see them. And there will be a next time.

I guess I see your point, she murmured. That was weird, though.

How so?

Well, that Lady Flaethwyn got arrested at all. This is Fflyr Dlemathlys; elves are considered the next best thing to the bloodline of the Goddess herself. Ordinarily, Id say a city guard captain wouldnt dare put irons on an elf, even if shed succeeded in murdering someone in broad daylight in the middle of the street.

Hum. What do you make of that?

The only thing I can think of, Aster said slowly, is politics. The one reason guards would be willing to go after an elf is if they gained favor with other, more powerful elves by doing so.

You think shes out of favor with Clan Aelthwyn, I said, catching on.

Shes young and seems like a hothead, Lord Seiji. People like that do cause trouble, but at the highest levels of politics? Theyd be kept well away from anything that could cause serious enmity. Its more likely her Clan is unfriendly with Clan Aelthwyn. I wish wed heard what Clan she was in, but she never mentioned it in there. Which, now that I think about it, had to have been deliberate.

Indeed. Well, thats definitely a lever I might be able to pull later on. Between Maugro, Auldmaer, and Gilder, I bet I can find out more. And speaking of, I hope the kids okay and wont have much trouble finding us.

Well, we passed into the walls late last night and its been most of the morning. I guess how quickly he finds us will show if hes as good as he claims at spying.

Ive got a good feeling, Aster. The day started off with a distraction, but look how well it worked out! For the first time, everythings comin up Seiji.

From inside her coat pocket came a muffled but resonant snort.