2.22 In Which the Dark Lord Lays Down the Law

2.22 In Which the Dark Lord Lays Down the Law

I dont mind sleeping in a barracks with other women, Sicellit stated in a particularly tightly-wound voice. I understand those are the available accommodations out here and its not much of a hardship. Hell, its more comfortable than my own room back at the Cat because I specifically do not have to worry about men climbing on top of me in there!

Oh, please, Ydleth sneered, dripping disdain. Absolutely no one

Well, not yet! Sicellit snarled back.

Whoah, hold up, Im confused. I sure as hell was. Surely nobody had tried to assault Sicellitor any of the women here? Everybody in this place knew most of its population were ex-Alley cats whod just slaughtered a bunch of thugs over exactly that kind of thing.

Just This doesnt need to be your problem, Lord Seiji, Sicellit said, visibly trying to restrain her temper. I just dont want to share a dorm with a man. I dont think thats unreasonable. Miss Minifrit can have him moved

Oh, fuck you, you self-righteous twat! Ydleth shrieked. Im not moving because youve decided to be a bitch about something thats none of your fucking business!

Then why are you in here making it everyones business at the top of your lungs in the middle of dinner?!

You started this!

Like hell I did!

Shut up. I spoke more sharply than Id intended; the confusion was not helping my already fatigued mental state. Sicellit, what are you on about? Is there a man in your dorm? I guess your point is reasonable, butwho?

Wordlessly, she pointed at Ydleth. There was some muttering from around the room, but mostly anticipatory silence that warned me any action I took here could have far-reaching consequences.

I blinked at Ydleth, who looked furious enough to kill. And also, now that I looked closely, on the verge of tears. Past the verge, in fact; she angrily scrubbed at her eyes while I stared, failing to disguise the trembling of her lower lip.

Wait What?

Ydleth was tall, suretaller than me, in factbut fine-boned and even somewhat scrawny. She was one of those people whod probably look awkward in motion if she hadnt so mastered the exaggerated swaying walk and flirtatious mannerisms prostitutes were so good at. I knew her as someone excessively fond of off-color jokes and irrepressibly cheerful despite how constantly she seemed to acquire black eyes and bloody lips. This fury was as out of character on her as it was on the normally unflappable Sicellit. The only thing about her that really stood out among the Cats was that she wore one of those high-necked tight undershirts instead of showing off cleavage like every other

Oh.

It occurred to me that I might have just blithely waded into something far more complicated than I was prepared to deal with.

How long have you two been at this? I asked, stalling frantically for time. Shit shit shit, what was I supposed to do here? Frankly, outbursts like this are out of character for both of you.

Oh, its been all day, Lord Seiji, said Keffin from a nearby table. I vaguely recalled her being one of their roommates. Sicellit saw Ydleth changing, Ydleth freaked out, and its just gone from there.

Theyre being a pair of big fat children about it, added Jadrin, folding her arms and looking condescending. Both of em keep pissing away opportunities to de-escalate and clawing for each others eyes instead.

Sicellits not wrong, though, someone muttered from behind me, just loud enough I knew she meant to be heard but could pretend otherwise.

Oh, fuck off, snapped Leiret, a woman whod worked in the same brothel as Ydleth, jumping to her feet across the aisle. Ydleths a sweet girl, and her business is none of anybody elses!

That, of course, was the cue for everybody who had an opinion about thiswhich was evidently most of themto begin offering them all at once. Ydleth looked like she wanted very much to die on the spot. Somewhat to my surprise, so did Sicellit.

I pointed one finger in the air and fired a Sparkspray at the ceiling, causing instant quiet. A bit less emphatic than firing a gun, but man, I could make a lot of problems disappear if I had one of those

Right here and now, I was still no closer to figuring a way out of this mess Id gotten myself into.

Okay, I said hesitantly. Ydleth, not to be indelicate

Oh, here it comes, she growled, folding her arms.

That caused a spike of irritation to flare through me, which caused Junko to lay her ears back and growl. Ydleth immediately looked wary, and I continued with a lot less hesitation.

So I gather that back in Cat Alley you were a provider of specialty services to customers of very particular tastes?

It could be hard to tell with the brown-skinned lowborn, but Ydleths cheeks definitely darkened in a blush. She put on a defiant posture, however, tossing her hair back and raising her chin.

Yeah, what of it?

So Just saying, if you dont have to do that anymore

This is who I am! she snapped, taking an aggressive step toward me.

Junko barked sharply and she immediately backed off again, which I judged adequate remonstration and refrained from calling her down further.

So. Just to be clear. You are a woman?

Yes! I am!

I shrugged, turning back to Sicellit. Says shes a woman. Seems like shed know. That would seem to settle the matter, right?

I dont care what your background is. Lowborn or high, human or goblin or beastfolk or whatever else might eventually join us, were all equally valid. Nobody more than any other. You can love who you love, however theyre willing to let you, and nobody but you gets to determine your identity. If Ydleth says shes a woman, that is the beginning and end of the matter. Hell, if Donon over there decides he wants to be a really tall, oddly-colored goblin with stunted ears and weird teeth, then fine, he can be a goblin. You dont need to agree with or even accept someone elses claims about themselves, but you need to leave them alone and mind your business if you cant. Understand?

Donon raised his hand. Uh, just to be clear, I dont think Im a goblin. I just like them.

Laughter ensued, further throwing off my rhythm. Motherfucker, so help me I was gonna go over there and kick him in the jewels

It was just an example, Donon, I said patiently. For now, have I made my expectations plain?

Yes, Lord Seiji, Sicellit said stiffly. She definitely didnt look happy, but I thought she seemed I dont know, less wound up. Hopefully this wasnt going to become a recurrent thing, at least.

With all that said, I continued, personalities are what they are and people who legitimately cant stand each other, for whatever reason, dont necessarily need to share sleeping quarters. If youor anyoneis having a roommate problem, talk to Minifrit about getting a new room.

In my fatigue I had nearly told them all to just swap rooms with whoever they wanted, but remembered in the nick of time that we were deliberately trying to keep members of different organizations and groups from Gwyllthean shuffled about so they didnt fall back into old cliques. Minifrit could prevent that if re-rooming requests went through her.

Ydleth snorted loudly, folding her arms. Hell, why should she get to scurry off after all the shit shes pulled today?

I rather think the look I directed at her was sufficient warning that she was one more careless word from an in-person demonstration of Dark Lord magic even before Junko growled a pointed agreement with my change of mood. I had been that close to defusing this, and the brat had the pigheaded gall to start it up again?

Im just saying, Ydleth protested, thats like rewarding someone for being dhak!

Minifrit, in that improbably swift and stealthy way of hers, had materialized seemingly by magic and rapped Ydleth sharply between the eyes with her pipe.

Learn to pick your battles, girl, she said in a tone that brooked no further nonsense while Ydleth reeled backward, clutching at her forehead. And, in general, pick fewer of them. Both of you, sit down and eat. I will deal with you both in detail later, and I cannot advise strongly enough that you draw no further attention to yourselves in the meantime.

The pair hunched their shoulders and slunk away in opposite directions. Fortunately for them, they didnt have to be the target of any further group derision as a splendid distraction had just appeared. Gasps and mutters swelled throughout the mess hall and people turned to stare at the front doors, where the rest of my new arrivals had just come in.

At their head stood Nazralind, head uncovered to display her pointed ears and implausibly beautiful featureslikely the first elf many of the lowborn around me had seen in person, and undoubtedly the first who wasnt an enemy. Behind her came her whole coterie of pale, dark-eyed and mostly-blonde friends. Even in their travel-stained masculine clothing, the Fflyr caste system made it plain that we had just been joined by our first defectors from the ruling class.

Oh, that smells fantastic, Nazralind said cheerily, striding straight down the central aisle with no indication of unease. Thank the Goddess we got here at dinner time, I would kick my own mother down the stairs for a hot meal right now.

That wont be necessary, I said dryly. Go on up to the serving table, ladies, Donon will get you set up with everything you need.

Much obliged, Lord Seiji, the elf said, folding down her hands at me, and then followed my directions with the rest of her coterie trailing along behind. I was impressed by how utterly unperturbed they all seemed by the whispering and staring which followed them everywhere.

I could certainly do with a meal myself, but in that moment, I felt a pressing need to get out from under the expectant regard ofeveryone. Ideally before I fell asleep standing up or had a lapse of temper which would damage morale. I made my way carefully toward the far door that led to the kitchen, watching as Nazralind collected a plate and casually asked several dumbstruck former whores at the nearest table if she could join them. The rest of the ladies did likewise; there was room in the mess hall for them to cluster together at one of the unoccupied tables near the front, but instead they dispersed, politely slipping into open spots among the rest of the crew and visibly turning on the charm.

Now that was a smart move in their position, and I didnt doubt for a second that it had been pre-planned. That was Nazralind all over: so useless in the strategy and tactics department that she might as well have just been isekaid here from some high school drama club, but her social skills were absolutely on point. The benefits of a noblewomans education.

Hey, Biribo, I said as I ducked into the dark corridor leading toward the kitchen, how much trouble is it going to be integrating thephilosophy I just laid out with an actual Viryan culture, when we start having to deal with one?

Boss, that might as well have been Viryan philosophy. Theyre all different in a variety of ways, but that emphasis on self-determination and the worth of the individual? Classic stuff. You should fit right in.

Good, one less future headache, I muttered. I really wished I had bothered to learn about political philosophies beyond theyre all stupid. Which, to be fair, they are, but when Id had internet access I had never imagined I would one day need to implement one. Individualism, minding your own business and being nice to peoplewhat was that called, libertarianism? I was pretty sure it was either libertarianism or the opposite of that. I had definitely not handled the revelation about Ydleth in a manner that would satisfy anybody with an opinion about gender politics, but fuck it, I wasnt trying to build some kind of utopia out here; I just needed these people to fall in line. At least that mess is settled.

I really admire your optimism, Aster said, making me jump as I hadnt noticed her following me, if you think that is in any way settled.

It is settled, I declared with a scowl as we stepped into the kitchen. I have settled it. And anyone who unsettles it is going to spend some time burning and screaming. I have had enough of this asinine drama.

If you do that, she said flatly, I will stab you myself.

I rounded on her, and instead of following up on her threat, she reached out and took me by both shoulders, giving me a fond smile.

That was a good start. I get how frustrating it is, but this is now past the point where shows of force are going to help. What these people needed was guidance and expectations, and you just gave them that. In that uniquely Seiji way, where youre apparently well-meaning and not even wrong but still manage to be the biggest possible prick about it. Now, let me and Minifrit and the others take over, okay? Trying to enforce good behavior isnt really going to work; it has to be encouraged, guided.

Yeah, no shit, Gannit commented from where she was dishing something up from a cauldron over the fire. Whats this about you burninating people, Dark Lord Crankypants? Bad boys gotta eat in the kitchen with the help.

I realized what she was doing was setting up a serving of bread and stew on the kitchen table, and now pulled out a chair for me with her characteristic saucy grin. At the sudden reminder that I was one of the only people in this place who hadnt yet eaten, my stomach growled embarrassingly.

Well said, Minifrit agreed, stepping into the kitchen. I mean Aster, of course, not Gannit.

Oh, up yours, Gannit cackled. And put out that fucking pipe in my kitchen! What the hell is wrong with you, girl? Dont spray smoke where people are cooking.

Thank you, I exclaimed, seating myself and grabbing the spoon while Gannit added another setting for Aster. I keep telling her about that damn pipe, but does she listen?

On the subject of people who dont listen, said Minifrit, sliding into the seat opposite me, Aster does have the right of it, Lord Seiji. Sicellit is not a cruel or judgmental person; I rather think she would have been supportive of any less quarrelsome girl in Ydleths situation, but that one has a big mouth and a chip on her shoulder. I will effect a reconciliation there, regardless of how much extra work it will be, because that is by far in the best interests of both them and the organization. Threats or violence at this point would only solidify mutual hatred.

Yeah, well, threats and violence are all I have to work with, I mumbled around a mouthful of bread. My god, it was delicious. Hunger really is the best sauce.

That isnt true, Minifrit said gently, smiling at me. Not anymore. You have us to step in where your own talents dont apply. Thank you for what you said out there, Lord Seiji, that was exactly what I have been asking you for. The beginnings of a proper way of life, an actual culture these people can follow. That will serve to bind us together far better than any mutual enemy. Youve done your part, now have a well-earned rest and let me do mine.

I had the vague sense that immediately surrendering control over whatever I had just set in motion might come back to bite me later, but by that point I just didnt have the energy to fuss over it any further. I was famished and now that I was sitting down and eating, the fatigue hit me like a truck. It had been a brutal few days.

For once, somebody else could clean up the mess.