2.39 In Which the Dark Lord Gets Some Help

2.39 In Which the Dark Lord Gets Some Help

It ended up being for the best that I had that aside in the pantry. Part of the reason for coming back to base right now was to make my reassuring presence known to the troops, especially the newbies; if Id sat down in the dining hall in the mood Id been in after learning about Lady Grays ongoing bullshit I probably wouldve just scared people. At least now I was more relaxed.

Doubtless the newer hands still thought it odd that I sat down with my stew and wyddh at the childrens table, but the sooner they got used to my peculiar ways, the better. This aint your daddys Dark Lord.

So there I was at one corner seat, with Junko chomping from her bowl on the floor beside me, Benit settled in on my other side, and Gilder and Aenit all but physically scuffling over who was going to sit across from me, when they were upstaged by none other than Nazralind.

You snooze, you lose, kids, she said, completely unrepentant as she slid onto the bench with her tray and grinned at Gilders protest. Aenit, looking grudgingly impressed, seized the opportunity to plonk down next to the elf, leaving him to shuffle down the row another space in defeat. Naz herself, meanwhile, grabbed the pair of chopsticks shed brought, one held upright in each fist, and beamed expectantly at me. All right! Show me how to use these.

Where the hell did you get those? I demanded.

Same place you did. Kassers got lots of scrap akorshil lying around from all the stuff he has to make; polishing up a pair of little sticks hardly takes any time at all, apparently. Its funny, I was always told akorshil wasnt suitable for tableware because of how it splinters, but apparently it all depends on the type and how you treat it.

Rookie mistake, Benit murmured. Never ask Kasser about akorshil. Youll be trapped for hours.

It wasnt hours, Nazralind said, then winced. Technically. Not quite, I dont think.

Easy mistake, though, Gilder added. That guy wont talk all unless its about shilworking. I never knew he could talk until I broke that lamp stand.

I placed a bite of chewy crawn meat in my mouth with my own chopsticks and gave him the eye. That was you?

Gilder was suddenly very busy with his stew. Joke was on him, this was the first Id heard about any lamp stand.

Anyway, Naz prompted, gently thumping her chopstick-filled fists on the table.

First of all, dont ever do that, I winced. Why the sudden interest, anyway?

You probably havent had a reason to ask him, but Kassers had so many requests for these he actually just keeps them lying around now. It was actually annoying, she added, frowning. Wouldve been one thing if I got to listen about akorshil polishing while he was actually demonstrating it, but he just handed them to me and went off on this rant

What? I looked around the mess hall. Whos been

Benit, Gilder, and Aenit all pulled chopsticks out of their sleeves.

Weve tried, Gilder admitted. I figured it cant be any hardern picking pockets. But damn, Lord Seiji, its hard to even get a proper look at what youre doing with your fingers

I stabbed myself right up the nose, Benit mumbled.

I couldnt imagine how anyone could possibly fuck up chopsticks that badly, but it was Benit so of course I didnt say that out loud. With Gilder Idve gone for the throat, but she responded better to encouragement.

Its not just the kids, people want to imitate you, Nazralind said, shrugging. Thats what its like to be in charge. Im sure Miss Minifrit has mentioned this, but its probably a good thing to let folks pick up little customs that help differentiate them from Fflyr society. Soooo?

They all stared at me, bright-eyed and waiting. I could see others at nearby tables watching with varying degrees of surreptitiousness.

And I found myself instinctively wanting to shut this down, which was pretty silly. Hadnt I been leaning into Minifrits idea previously? And hell, even before that Id started deliberately introducing little mannerisms from home. Sure, the bath was just because Id really wanted to take one, but

I recognized where the reluctance came from, of course, and it wasnt fair to anyone involved. All of that had been before my conversation with Head Start, and its revelation about the goddesses. Projecting that stuff onto my followers was irrational; none of them were weebs, and certainly not responsible for any of what the goddesses had done. They were the victims here, as much as I was. More, even.

Worse than irrational, it was hypocritical. Who the hell was I to suddenly be protective of the purity of Japanese culture? Id spent my entire life stubbornly refusing to fit in and get along like a normal person. I was so bad at being Japanese Id been saving up for years to move out of the country and not one person had tried to talk me out of it, even in my own family. That was what decided me; Im a lot of things, and not all of them positive, but I do try not to be any more hypocritical than I can help. Theres nothing more contemptible than a hypocrite.

What could it hurt?

With a sigh, I held up my right hand. Okay, start by bracing one stick this way, across the base of your thumb and your third finger

Turned out using chopsticks was easier than explaining how; the motions were so second nature I had a little trouble consciously thinking about it. But I got them all holding them the right way, at least. More or less.Follow current novels at novelhall.com)

Bloody hell, Nazralind growled, losing a whole bite of meat from her stew as one stick skittered out of her grip. She hadnt yet managed to lift one all the way to her mouth.

Excuse me, young lady, you need to watch your mouth at the dinner table, Gilder said severely. There are children here, for fucks sake.

Fuck off, Gilder, you know more swears than I do.

In at least four languages, he agreed, grinning. Perk of growing up in a trade city near the border! Aw, bugger. At least he didnt lose his chopsticks along with the chunk of potato that tumbled sadly onto the table.

I think we picked the worst possible meal to test this, Nazralind grumbled. Shoulda tried on something solid

I shrugged, placidly eating another bite. Its a thick stew, shouldnt be that bad. Back home we usually have a light soup with breakfast.

And you eat that with sticks? Aenit demanded. How?

You pick out the solid parts with chopsticks and sip the broth from the bowl, I said, demonstrating with the much thicker stew gravy and immediately regretting it. Blech, gravy is not for sipping. Truthfully, spoons are also common in Japan but I was having way too much fun now to tell them that.

In Dlemathlys, that would be absolutely execrable table manners, Nazralind commented.

Wow, I said, its almost as if different cultures have different customs. Thats a brilliant flash of insight, Naz, I wonder if anyones ever put that together before? You should write a book.

Youre such an arse, she said fondly. All right, here we go. I swear I am gonna get one piece of meat into my face tonight

Hah! Gilder leered insanely. Thats what she hmmfffgm!

Aenit shoved a chunk of wyddh into his mouth and Im pretty sure Benit kicked him under the table.

We have fun, dont we? I said cheerfully. Junko, sit back down. You just finished yours, I sat here and watched you. Little scam artist.

She whined piteously. And then so did Nazralind, though for different reasons.

I made it a habit to play my guitar a bit before bed; it was a little ritual I had missed while out on maneuvers in the forest and the city, but now that I was back in the fortress Well, it was strange how much like home North Watch had started to feel. Sitting on the end of my bed, strumming softly with Junko already half-asleep next to me, everything felt more comfortable than camping out with the bandits. I was going to have trouble sleeping regardless of anything I did, but this made it a little better.

Or would have, except that Biribo suddenly buzzed upward from where hed been hanging out on the nest Id built for him, a pile of cloth scraps and pillow stuffing on a shelf.

I would never look at you like that, she replied, and in truth her smile did change. It was subtle, but there; just warm, maybe a little teasing, but without that cruel edge. I was constantly impressed by how Minifrit could manipulate the fine details of her face the way I handled a guitars strings. Lord Seiji, you were yanked out of your whole life, dumped into a world where everything is harder and dirtier and more dangerous than anything you knew. You came to our little corner of hell and immersed yourself in the worst it had to offer, the darkest parts we worked so hard to conceal from our clients. And you kept coming back.

Yeah, well, I cant say

You had ulterior motives, I know. That doesnt change the basic fact that you faced what you saw and never once fled from it. Seiji. She leaned closer, still smiling, and shook her head. I never once blamed you for being shocked or horrified by what youve seen. The idea is absurd to me. What stands out to me is that yousour, snide, spiteful little shit that you arehave shown more spine and more heart than any aristocrat in this blighted country.

Not that thats saying a lot

Minifrit chuckled ruefully. And so quick to deflect. Well, look at it this way: whether or not youre justified in being traumatized is beside the point. If you fell down the stairs and broke your collarbone because you were trying to balance on a ball at their top, the injury wouldnt be any less in need of healing because you got it by being stupid. You require treatment. But I will, as the person proposing to administer this treatment, insist on one point for you to remember.

She scooted a bit closer to me, her smile widening as her voice dropped another register, taking on a huskier undertone.

I am offering to help you mend an injury, because this organization of which I am a part depends on your leadership. But I am also offering to go to bed with you. BecauseI would like to.

My breath caught, and not because I was so very moved. I had to squeeze my eyes shut and fight back a tremor of remembered panic that didnt belong in this situation.

Minifrit, consummate professional that she was, gave me a moment to recover my poise before continuing in a more casual and therefore less dangerous tone. And also because I believe I can trust you not to do something wildly asinine like fall in love with me.

Ahheh. I shook my head. Well. Im definitely flattered, and interested. But, ah, no offense, Minifrit

Heres some excellent advice which you will ignore: if you find yourself about to say something that needs to be prefaced with that, close your mouth. Seriously, this may just be the prejudices of my own life experience talking, but Im firmly of the opinion that a powerful man suffers stresses and pressures which he can only properly relieve in a womans body. Or another mans, I suppose, if thats what he prefers, she added with another mischievous little smirk. Im the last person whod judge, for all that Im not accustomed to thinking in those terms. The point is, it neednt be anything more intimate than thatand between you and I, to be honest, Ill be more comfortable with the assurance up front that it will not be.

Now it was I who raised an eyebrow and smirked. No offense meant?

I wouldnt have said it if you were the type to take it personally, she retorted, grinning back. Truly, Dark Lord is a little rich for my blood. It will be interesting to serve as your outlet for a while, as you establish yourselfquite the notch on my own already well-traveled belt. But we both have different destinies, you especially. A figure like you Well, somewhere out there is a legendary romancesome Viryan witch or dark elven princess or who knows what, just blithely trotting around without even suspecting your signature is on the ribbon of her fate. And when that destined beauty finally deigns to turn up, I intend to hand you over to her in a much better condition than I found you.

She paused, leaned back a bit, and cast her eyes rapidly up and down my form with a critical expression.

Which is, simultaneously, not saying much and yet will be quite an undertaking. You, young man, are a wreck.

Okay, I take a little offense at that one.

Minifrit grinned pure mischief at me, then her eyes cut past me and she cleared her throat.

Ahem! Biribo, are you able to handle door latches or do you require help?

Yeah, yeah, I got it, he groused. Dunno why you big shaved apes are so convinced anybody wants to watch that anyway. Cmon, Junko, lets go for a walk. Trust me, girl, you dont wanna be in here.

He actually could handle the door latch, somewhat to my surprise; the only hurdle was that Junko required a firm order from me to follow the familiar out into the hall. I suspected neither of them would go far. Biribo seemed to be uncomfortable being separated me by too much distance or time, and Junkowell, she was a dog.

So, uh. I hated myself for the uncertainty that suddenly fell. For gods sake, it wasnt like I was some virgin. How, erm Ugh, you must think Im being

Shush. Minifrit placed one finger on my lips, smiling. This is specifically unlike any of your previous experiences, in both purpose and execution. And trust me, Seiji, Ive seen boys far more self-conscious than you, with much more reason, and not judged them for it either. We will go slowly. Ill try thingsgently, a bit at a time

She eased closer, till she was almost pressing against me. I could feel her warm breath on my cheek as she murmured.

and youll try things. Whatever you feel comfortable with. Dont worry about me; Im impossible to shock and I dont mind being handled roughly. Still, go slow. A bit at a time, as we see how far we can push before youre triggered. Then we will stop, and make sure youre calm again before we try once more. All right?

I nodded silently, not trusting my voice for a whole variety of reasons.

There is no hurry, she whispered. Her forehead came to rest gently on my temple; her body eased forward until my arm was nestled between her breasts. Her bare When had she opened her robe? No farther or faster than you can bear. There is no timetable and no rush. Well stop for tonight before too much longer; you need some proper rest and this neednt be solved in one day. But onebitat a time

I turned my head, caught her lips in my own as she tilted her face to accommodate. The taste of smoke, I decided, wasnt that terrible. Especially with that spicy-sweet smell about her.

She gently kissed my lips, slowly, repeating soft motions in no hurry. Gradually, I felt some of the expectant tension ease from my shoulders as an episode failed to occur. With a soft murmur of satisfaction, she pressed a little forward, offering her tongue, accepting mine.

So far so good.

I slipped an arm around her waist to hold her; hers wrapped around my neck. A bit further, and I was still okay. I leaned into her, moved my other hand. She made a soft noise of approval into my mouth as I lightly squeezed her breast, lifting its weight

It was as if all the suspended trauma that shouldve triggered for the last few minutes hit at once, in one of the worst flashbacks yet. I was drowning, surrounded by blood and the sickly stink of rot. Couldnt breathe, people were dying, women screamed on all sides

It only gradually receded, and Minifrit was holding me, her grip firm and comforting without a hint of the erotic questing from just moments ago, her quiet voice devoid of that huskiness. Just soothing, like she was talking to a high-strung animal.

Its okay, youre all right. Youre safe, its fine. That was a good start. Its okay. Just breathe, Seiji. A breath at a time. Inout Thats the way. Theres no hurry.

I realized I was gripping her hard enough to bruise again and winced.

Uhsorry. Heal.

Minifrit smiled through the flash of pink light. You can probably save that for the end of the night. Youre very unlikely to do any real harm in panicked flailingand I told you, Ive no objections to picking up a few little scrapes and bruises. Dont worry about me. Are you okay? Ready to try again?

I, uh

Dont force it. Were here to help you, not just playing around.

I nodded. Justlemme settle my breathing.

Of course. Take whatever time you need.

That was a really frustrating place to break, I said, trying for a little levity. Like, terrible timing. Do you know how long Ive been waiting to get my hands on those things?

She grinned. You and everyone else. Dont worry, well get there, and I assure you theyre worth it.

If you do say so yourself.

Its a professional guarantee.

I needed a bit more time to feel calm enough to try again. She didnt push. For the first time, though I was almost afraid to, I began to feel like this might eventually be okay.