3.28 In Which the Dark Lord Signs Up for Disaster

3.28 In Which the Dark Lord Signs Up for Disaster

Obviously, this was going to change our calculations for the next steps of our strategy, but first things first.

Sorry about your, uhcentral square, there, I said moments later, when we reconvened back at the platform outside Gilniks place, addressing the pompadoured goblin in question.

Hey, that wasnt your doing, he said, giving a very pointed stare to Get Fucked, who was lurking around the back of the group looking as downcast and depressed as anyone Id ever seen. Almost as if hed given up everything and thrown away his entire life to follow a messianic political figure who turned out to be a selfish conman who was callously using his followers. Well straighten it out; most of the material should be salvageable. Considering what couldve happened here if Hoy turned up in your absence, we got off light.

I nodded, and drew in a breath. Okay, that leaves the big matter at hand. Much as I was looking forward to taking a break, our timetable just got even less forgiving and we need to book it. What can we do to secure the Spirit here in case Hoy comes back?

Ugh, thats a point, Yoshi agreed, grimacing. He was obviously goading us to move out in a hurry. He could be planning to circle around and corrupt it once were gone.

Gilnik winced, glancing back at the doorway behind him, through which worried goblin faces were peeking. Ill be honest, we got nothin. Thats why we were all glad to see the Judge turn up with you guys in tow. We aint fighters here, Lord Seiji, even less than most goblins. If we gotta deal with a Void witch or even a squad of armed troops coming after our stuff, our options are let them have it and die letting them have it.The source of this content nov(el)bi((n))

Thats what I was afraid of, I murmured, frowning.

Before you ask, Zui piped up, this is farther out than Miss Sneppit is willing to extend a security perimeter. She was talking about possibly moving her main force closer to Fallencourt like Jadrak did, but only if you and the Hero took care of Hoy and cleared the way.

Taking on Jadraks main army would be a lot easier with hers as backup, Yoshi agreed, but that doesnt solve the immediate problem.

Biribo, I said, how durable are these Spirit altars, exactly?

Exactly? he replied, swooping around in front of my face. The answer to that is yes, boss. Void corruption aside, theyre basically indestructible. If this planet ever finishes collapsing the Spirits will be left floating in space.

Thats a comforting image, Flaethwyn muttered.

Im not sure I enjoy the direction this is taking, said Gilnik.

Then youre ahead of me, I said ruefully. How hard would it be to collapse the Spirits cavern on top of it?

Every goblin present cringed.

Collapsing caverns is childs play, Gazmo answered me before Gilnik could. Its un-collapsing them afterward thats challenging. Dunno if youre aware of it, tallboy, but you just invoked one of our deepest cultural fears.

Yeah, I figured, I said. Im sorry, but unless someone has a better idea, this is the only way to actually secure that Spirit against the Void.

To be clear, Lord Seiji, Gilnik said in a tight voice, you are asking me to destroy

Nothing, I interrupted. Im asking you to block access to the Spirit to anyone not willing to perform a lot of difficult, time-consuming, and precise labor to dig it out, which will effectively take it off the board for the duration of the civil war in Kzidnak and protect it from Void corruption. Look, Gilnik, in the next couple of days, one of two things is going to happen. If Jadrak wins, then youll have bigger problems and it wont matter, because hell crack down on you lethally for daring to stand up to him. In that case, making him dig the Spirit out again before he can use it would be the last act of spite youll be able to inflict on him. The other possibility is that he goes down, and I will be the next big power around here. In that event, I will personally, as soon as I am able, send whatever resources, personnel, and funds are necessary to unearth the Spirit and get your business back up and running.

He blinked, straightening up slightly. You will?

I absolutely will, I promised. Judge Gazmo, how fast can you whip us up a contract?

For a simple promise like that? Half a minute. Fram, get on it.

Oh, sure, I see how it is, she grumbled, already pulling materials out of her coat. Ink pencil, paper, and some sort of gadget that Wait, was that a collapsible clipboard? Goblin ingenuity never disappointed. I was surprised that invention hadnt spread to the Fflyr, it was a perfect fit for their culture as well. How come I always gotta do the grunt work, huh?

Why the hell do you think I put up with all your bullshit? Gazmo snorted.

What, you mean its not for my sunny disposition and scintillating conversational skills?

Well, Gilnik said slowly, I do see the urgency. With the Dark Lords signature on paper Yeah, in that case, well get on it. Bringing down the Spirits chamber should be easy enough, just needs some basic tools.

And then you plan to be in charge of the goblins, Lord Seiji? Pashilyn said, tilting her head and giving me a mildly inquisitive stare. What, I wonder, do you plan to do with them afterward?

Im glad youre okay, Lady Pashilyn, I said, smiling pleasantly. You had me worried for a minute there. Thanks for that quick work with the Light Barrier, you really saved all our butts.

Yoshi cleared his throat. Before we cave in the Spirits homeis there a chance it could help us deal with Jadrak, like the last one? I dont think anybody has mentioned to me exactly what this one does.

Well, uh Gilnik shrugged. You interested in bein sent on a quest to vanquish a powerful enemy without resorting to force, in order to earn a masterwork tool for your chosen profession? Cos I can make that happen.

Yoshis and my eyes met; he looked as intrigued as I felt.

Boys, Zui warned.

Any enemy in particular? he asked hopefully.

We dont have time for this! Flaethwyn exclaimed.

Spirit picks the enemy, said Gilnik.

Yeah, then we better table that idea for now, I said ruefully.

Non-violence isnt exactly your strong suit, anyway, Aster said, patting me on the back.

More importantly, what are we going to do next? Yoshi inquired, looking around at each of the group in turn. If theres even a chance what Hoy said was true We may have to abandon the Spirits and go right for Jadrak. Every second hes not dealt with, every goblin working for him is in danger of having their soul sacrificed.

Not to stifle your newfound sense of charity, boy, but every goblin under or near Jadraks been in mortal danger since all this brouhaha kicked off, said Gazmo. In fact, every goblin in Kzidnak, period, and while I obviously wanna minimize the bloodshed as much as possible, those on the side who started this get a lesser portion of my sympathy. Youre talkin about riding to the rescue of your enemies, here.

Yoshi shook his head emphatically. This goes beyond politics or enemies, Judge. No one deserves to have their soul eaten by a devil. If we can stop it, we have to.

I agree with the sentiment, as far as it goes, I said, but keep in mind that this idea is so far-fetched even our familiars said its only theoretically possible. Meanwhile, the original threat was Hoy going after the Spirits to corrupt them for more Void spells, which he is absolutely still planning to do. Especially given that his only possible motivation for telling us about this idea was to make us hare off after Jadrak and leave Hoy open to continue what he came here to do in the first place.

Ahem? Radatina swooped into the center of the group and then darted back and forth in midair to be sure she had everyones attention. The thing is, this is indeed far-fetched, but it is theoretically possible, and that raises the question of where Hoy even got the idea. Its not something present in the commonly known lore about Void craft. The obvious answer is he and Jadrak were told about the possibility by their devil friend. Which makes itsomewhat more than just a possibility, Im afraid.

Which makes that by far the bigger threat, said Yoshi, nodding. To say nothing of the immediate loss of life it would cause if Jadrak pulls that trigger.

But if we go after him, I objected, were giving Hoy free reign. The both of us with full backup are barely enough to fight him to a draw as it is. If he manages to get to one more Spirit and gain more Void powers, let alone several, hell hit us from behind while were trying to deal with Jadrak and therell be even less chance we can take him.

Yoshis expression was growing more stubborn by the second. Its not that youre wrong, Omura. But The stakes. To abandon people we could actually help isnt wisdom, its just laziness.

Hm, I grunted, surprised. That was actually pretty profound.

Thanks.

Its from an anime, isnt it?

He scowled. No, its not from an anime.

Attaboy, I knew I could count on you!

He looked surprised at that, but his expression almost immediately went back to worried. I dont think youll like it.

At this point, Id only be surprised if something happened that I did like. Hit me.

Okay. Yoshi took a breath and let it out slowly, and I braced myself. If he was this nervous about just suggesting it, this was going to be bad. I think we need to split up.

Wellnot that bad, but still.

I see the basic logic in that, of course, I said, keeping my tone carefully even. Weve got two important targets, two Champions and their respective entourages, and a tight timetable. The math checks out. Im sure I dont need to remind you that the both of us together are roughly a match for Hoy and thus whoever has to face him alone is good and fucked?

Yeah He winced. AndIm really sorry, butthats going to have to be you.

All righty then. Increasingly displeased, I admitted, but still listening.

Isnt that kind of backwards? Aster cut in, frowning at the Hero. Youre both strong fighters, so it doesnt seem to matter who ends up facing down Hoy, if it has to be one or the other. But whoever gets the other job is going to have to confront Jadrak in front of his followers, and that is going to come down to politics more than fighting, unless we want to turn it into an absolute massacre. Goblins are not going to be inclined to listen to the Hero anyway, and Lord Seiji is very good at working a crowd. That job is right up his alley.

She had a strong point. I turned back to Yoshi, wordlessly raising one eyebrow.

I dont disagree, he acknowledged. But there are two other important factors that change that calculation. The big one is that Omura has the weight of prophecy on his side if he faces Hoy at the Spirit.

Ohhh, I whispered, remembering. Oh, yeah. I shouldve known that would come back to bite me.

Wait, prophecy? Pashilyn exclaimed, looking more startled than Id ever seen her.

The Spirit we spoke to, I said. It said if I fought Hoy while he was trying to corrupt a Spirit, I should forego strategy in favor of unrelenting attack regardless of what happened. The exact words were that if I did that, I would get what I needed, even if I lost the battle.

That is not promising! Aster snapped.

Sounds like a pretty dicey payoff, Nazralind agreed, frowning. Stories about propheciesits exactly that kind of vagueness that always gets you in the end.

Can Spirits actually tell the future? I asked Biribo.

Yes, he and Radatina chorused instantly.

I had to pause, blinking in surprise. Huh. Gotta say, I was expectingsomething else. Some kind of spiel about how the future isnt that simple and knowing it ahead of time violates causality or something.

All of that is also correct, Biribo agreed. If you wanna know how Spirits tell the future, I cant help you. Thats not part of the inherent knowledge familiars get access to, and based on everything I understand about reality it doesnt make any goddamn sense. All I know is that if a Spirits reward involves any forewarning about the future, whatever it said is accurate.

Right, I said in my cheeriest tone. Plan so far, then, is I tackle Hoy all on my lonesome and probably get my shit fucked up six ways to Sunday, with the payoff of some indeterminate mumbo-jumbo about getting what I need. So far, so dismal. Lets keep the hits coming, Yoshi, I think you said there were two factors to consider?

Yeah, he sighed. I, uh At the other end, I also need to lose.

This is the worst plan Ive ever heard, Flaethwyn stated. And Im including my parents attempt to marry me off to an obese fifty-year-old half-elf. Im honestly impressed, Yoshi, I never imagined anyone would top that.

Couldnt happen to a nicer person, Zui muttered, and I made a mental note to skewer her later about daring to complain that the rest of us kept sidetracking the conversation with bickering.

Just listen to me, Yoshi said, his patience visibly fraying. To my surprise, that did shut Flaethwyn up, and in fact seemed to worry her. Okay, so looking at it with all the information we have, its most likely that Jadrak does have the ability Hoy described, to sacrifice at least some of his followers souls to gain more Void powers. The familiars say its possible, which means that devil undoubtedly is aware of it and thats probably a big part of why they manipulated this whole sequence of events into happening. I bet that would be the best payload of souls any devil ever bagged; the Devil King would probably give them a big promotion. But, that means we have to wonder why Jadrak hasnt already done it, right?

I thought I already went over that, I said, frowning.

You did, and your theory is perfectly sound, Yoshi agreed. It wasnt his original plan and he doesnt want to do it. That is key. It makes sense: Jadraks ability to sacrifice his followers souls is entirely contingent on them being fanatically loyal to him. As soon as he starts doing it, hell probably stop being able to, because that will terrify everyone into turning on him. So even if hes enough of a ruthless monster to plan on that contingency, he has a strong practical motivation not to invoke it.

Boy makes a solid point, Gazmo stated. Trust me, I know goblins. If theyre deeply, personally loyal enough that their very souls are forfeit on his say-so alone Well, in the first place, that situation wont last long no matter what else happens. Hell only be able to pull that off while riding a wave of success and adrenaline. Soon as his campaign hits a major wall, thats off the table. And as soon as he starts actually feeding people to a devil, boom. No goblin would sign up for that.

Right, said Yoshi, nodding. So heres the way I see it: we need to take some of the pressure off Jadrak. We need to make him dither and be uncertain about invoking that extreme measure long enough for his momentum to falter so that he cant anymore.

Ah. And with that, I was caught up. So you want him to see the Hero, alone, coming at his defenses andfailing to make an impact. Make him feel less cornered, like he can still win this.

Exactly. Especially if Hoys elsewhere going after the Spirits, Im confident I can at least distract and hold Jadrak off, especially with my friends backing me up, plus whatever local allies we can find. Hopefully Rizz has found more Judges and warned them about the Void. Whether or not I can actually get to Jadrak As long as I dont, and he thinks his Void witch friend is out finishing off the Dark Lord, hopefully he wont be willing to pull the trigger.

So you just have to stalemate him, I said slowly. Andyoure counting on me either beating Hoy alone, or pulling some vague Spirit nonsense out of my ass thatll make it not matter.

I know how it sounds, Yoshi said, his shoulders slumping.

No, yeah, this sounds like a needlessly elaborate mass suicide, I agreed. However The basic strategy is solid. Everything you said makes perfect sense. Its just Its the parts we cant account for, yknow? No telling whats gonna happen if you go up against his core army alone, though I dont see it going a lot better than the last time you tried that.

Especially now that his party was down a member, but I decided not to bring that up. He definitely didnt need to be reminded.

And, I continued after a momentary pause, weve been over how extremely uncertain my own end of the plan is.

Yeah. Yoshi nodded again, holding my gaze as we walked. Yeah, its Its not good, Omura. But I think its our only option.

Well, one part lines up nicely, at least, Zui offered. The nearest Spirit and our logical next target is the one Hoy mentioned, Mister Flats. From its cavern theres a tram tunnel thats a straight shot to the Fallencourt terminal. We cant actually take a tram, but that particular tunnel has a flat bottom and no canyons or anything, so we can get from there to Fallencourt on foot.

Assuming we all still have feet, Nazralind said glumly. And all our blood.

Ive gotta hand it to you, Yoshi, I said, you sure called it. I hate every part of this plan. And I do not have a better idea. So unless anyone else has a better idea?

I turned in a complete circle while walking, sweeping a pleading stare across the entire entourage of my followers, the Heros party, and our goblin allies.

Anyone? I prompted. please?

We could all just jump into the core, Deeyo suggested morosely. Save some time.

Better. Zui jabbed him with her elbow, hard. He said a better idea. Stop being a prick, the Dark Lord has that covered.

I guess thats that, then! I said, clapping my hands and plastering on a big smile. We will carry out the Heros idiotic, insane plan, and may the goddesses have mercy on our souls.

Ill tell you what, Omura, Yoshi said with a weak smile. Ill take your advice too. If we end up winning, somehow, I promise not to say I told you so.

Well, you couldnt, anyway. Unless youre willing to guarantee this will work?

He sighed heavily and turned to face forward again.

Yeah, thats what I thought.