3.33 In Which the Dark Lord Takes Over

3.33 In Which the Dark Lord Takes Over

Why did that work?! It really spoke to Flaethwyns essential character that despite that absolute uproar and pandemonium blurring out sound on all sides, I could still clearly hear her offended screech. Okay, well, to be fair she was only a few meters away. That creature could have slaughtered us all with a thought! Whats the point of playing along with made-up goblin rules?

Its not something I would expect a highborn to understand, Sneppit replied, also shouting but probably not audible any farther away than I was standing. Keeping your word and upholding contracts isnt a moral virtue, its something you do so people are willing to make contracts with you again in the future. Devils depend on that. Every established power and religious organization on Ephemera warns their people against em; they only get any souls at all because nobody can fairly say they dont keep their word.

I felt a jab in my side and looked down to find Judge Rizz poking me with her bladestaff. The blade, fortunately, was retracted into its mechanical housing, so this was just annoying and rude, not an attempted assassination.

Princess Bitch Ears has a point, probably by accident, the Judge said. She also didnt moderate her tone any, and to judge by how swiftly Pashilyn had to intervene and begin soothing Flaethwyns incipient attack of apoplexy, the noise didnt entirely cover it. Since Rizz didnt open her mouth unless she had something of value to say, I just nodded and forbore to comment on the fact that goblins had notably bigger ears than elves. That was both way harder and way easier than it shouldve been.

How do you mean?

She jerked her head to one side and headed toward the back of this particular public ledge, where an awning sheltered what had been somebodys shopfront before all theeverything. It wasnt any quieter over there, but we were less obviously on center stage and could be surrounded by my own followers, which was better suited for a discreet word than right under the eyes of all of Fallencourt.

Its uncharacteristic for a devil to stand their ground like that, Rizz said, as Gazmo and Sneppit stepped over to join us and the others drifted closer. Theyre prone to abandon even promising schemes if confronted and theyll normally flee from much less dangerous opponents than you, Dark Lord. On the other hand, that bit about selecting names off a list smelled like bullshit to me. She shouldve been able to invoke her right to all those souls just as instantly as Jadraks.

Hm. Why would she put on a show like that?

To answer for sure, wed need to understand a lot more about devils than we do, said Gazmo. Nobody even knows what they want souls for, exactly.

Rizz nodded. Hes right, but an idea springs to mindjust like the elf pointed out. That devil just got to stand in front of an entire city full of goblins and prove that she abides scrupulously by the terms of a deal when she could easily have taken her souls and poofed. Therell always be some complete dickhead who thinks theyll be smart enough to succeed where the Goblin King failed. Were gonna have to watch out for that in the coming days.

Everybody Ive talked to about devils said they always go quiet when theres a Dark Lord and Hero active, said Yoshi, stepping into the circle. Wouldnt that suggest this was Ozyraphs last big job? As long as were here, at any rate.

Thats what Id assume, ordinarily, Gazmo agreed, but by that logic, she wouldntve stared down a Dark Lord and Hero long enough to get outmaneuvered. Somethings fucky, here.

Story of our lives, I said. But Yoshi This is it. This is our angle, how we beat this stupid game: the Devil King.

Everyone stared at me askance, except Yoshi, who simply frowned. My own followers and his party had all clustered close now, easily able to watch us over the front row of goblins. The city was still roaring and cheering, but the noise was beginning to abate a bit.

And what exactly are you planning to do with the Devil King, boy? Rizz demanded after a pause.

I grinned and punched one fist into my opposite palm. Were gonna fuck him up.

What are you talking about, Omura? Yoshi asked, still frowning.

Im talking about getting out from under this stupid Goddess bullshit, this Good versus Evil thing theyre pretending to care about to keep themselves entertained. They both hate the Devil King and the Void, right? And that fuckers stealing souls, its not like taking him down isnt an obvious moral good. This is how we beat the system, Yoshi! We destroy the Devil King. The goddesses want him gone more than they want to watch another round of their eternal JRPG, surely. Theyll leave us alone if we go gunning for him. I dont have to conquer Ephemera and we dont have to fight each other. Thats our way out!

All of that, he said slowly, is based on the assumption that youre right. That it is a game.

Okay, fine, sure, I said, waving one hand impatiently. Say youre right, and its not. Then its just Virya being the asshole, and this will work to keep her off my fucking back. In your version, its only Virya and the Dark Lord whore the problem anyway. If Virya chills the hell out and the Dark Lord focuses on the Void rather than world conquest, then Good wins by default, right?

Hm. Yoshi turned to Pashilyn, who tilted her head thoughtfully to one side.

You know, hes sort of right. If the Dark Crusade is doing something constructive instead of burning kingdoms and slaughtering masses, something the Goddess would approve ofthen by definition, we win.

Im all for kickin the Voids ass, especially after what weve seen today, said Sneppit, but I gotta be the wet blanket here. The Devil King is a way more dangerous opponent than either of you; he might well prove to be a match for you both. Also, Lord Seiji, youve set in motion things that you cant just stop. The Dark Crusade is building momentum and therell be nothing but chaos and destruction if you try to abort it.

I cant do that, anyway, I said. Especially if were going to pursue my idea. Like you said, right now were in no position to threaten the Devil King. We both need to build power, the way Dark Lords and Heroes respectively do: he needs to grow stronger individually along with his party, and I need to build institutional strength. The normal way is that he Hero is playing a JRPG while the Dark Lords playing an RTS, you follow?

Yoshi nodded; everyone else looked confused.

Well, the Devil King was a Dark Lord; he beat multiple Heroes, so he knows how to deal with them. And he has his own power base. Well have to hit him with both, and that means we need both at a much higher level than they are right now. Come on, Yoshi, think about it. The Hero and the Dark Lord, joining forces? Lets show the Goddesses something theyve never seen before. They wont be able to resist.

He winced. I hate to break it to you, Omura, but thats definitely something theyve seen before. The heroes and villains teaming up against a greater threat is a stock trope; its the most hype moment in every series.

Okay, fine, I said impatiently, even better. Theyll love it then, if its a classic of the genre. I bet they havent had a chance to see it too often in their own game. And thats if my theory about the Goddesses is right; in the other version, this is still for the greater good and should satisfy Viryas ambitions for this round of her conquest.

Slowly, he nodded, his expression firming up. Yeah. I think youre right, Omura. Okay, lets do it. Well have to stay in touch and coordinate, but for the most part well need to go our separate ways, at least at first. Best not let on that were working together. Even if were against the Void, something tells me this is not going to be embraced by the Sanorite and Viryan nations, much less the organized religions.

That is putting it conservatively, Pashilyn said, grimacing.

I visit the Kings Guild from time to time, I said, and Asters still a member on the books, after all. Shouldnt be too hard to check in occasionally, as long as were discreet.

So what is the plan, then? Pashilyn asked, giving me a very neutral look. In the immediate term. How do you propose to advance the Dark Crusade in a way that is not destructive to the Sanorite kingdoms?

Yeah, were all eager to hear that, Im sure, Zui interjected, and speaking of which, Dark Lord, its starting to quiet down. Youd better address your people while the adrenalines wearing off and before everybody starts to crash. There are a lotta goblins out there who need to know whats in their immediate future, just as much as the butts here.

My people, huh, I mused, giving her a wry smile. I never thought Id hear that from you, Zui.

Yeah, well. She folded her arms and grinned at mereluctantly, but it was a genuine smile. Cant say you didnt earn it, Seiji. Thats all we really needed from you, anyway: to prove yourself. Now go put on one of those shows you like so much.

He really doesnt need encouragement, Aster muttered to her.

Yeah, but he sure as shit needs to be managed.

Okay, yeah, that one Ill give you.

I turned my back on them, patting Yoshi on the shoulder and tipping Pashilyn a wink, and then stepped back toward the center of the wide ledge, where the broken ends of the blown-up bridge to the Core Tower stood. There I hesitated, getting my first shock as the new overlord of Kzidnak.

There was a balcony over the main door to the tower, the one currently inaccessible due to the bridge being out. It was in an ostentatious position from which some fancy rich person could stand to gaze out across their domain, which anybody running that tower would undoubtedly consider Fallencourt to be.

Whoah, Nazralind said from behind me, noticing what I had. As others did too, the quiet spread further, the already-lessening cheers trailing off into mutters.

On that balcony stood a dark elf.

She was pretty, of course, that was hardly worth noting when it came to elves; in terms of facial structure she had the same generally pointed features as Nazralind and Flaethwyn, just with skin of a medium brown rather like the local lowborn, instead of the peculiar crystalline beige of the Fflyr elves. At least, the parts that werent purple or glowing white; this woman had some crazy tattoos. Her right arm and at least half her torso had been inked to a deep amethyst color, while her left was covered with spiraling patterns of markings in white that were faintly but definitely luminous. We could see a lot of this artwork because she wore tight wrappings around her chest and hips that would be fairly modest for a swimsuit but a strange choice of attire in any other circumstance. Her hair was stark white, and cut short in a messy style.

The dark elf held herself with a stiff spine and raised chin; I could only describe her bearing as regal. She caught my eyes and bowed to me, once. Not too deeply. Clearly satisfied with her days work.

Right. Ill deal with you presently.

Despite everything, I owe Jadrak a debt.

After everything weve been through and all the shit Ive given you, turns out its standing up for a friend that makes you snap. Theres hope for you yet.

Conzart addressing the mutineers, she hissed. So help me, Seiji, Im going to You know what, I dont believe itll be the destiny of the Hero or the virtue of the Goddesss followers that does you in, in the end. Someone is going to put a stiletto through your eye just because you are such an ass.

Flaethwyn, your country is a shithole. The sheer bluntness made her lean back, grimacing as if she might get some of my commoner on her tunic. I recognize youre attached to it, but Fflyr Dlemathlys is an absolute nightmare to live in for most of the people who have to. Only an evil tyrant would build something like this on purpose. If you really care about Sanoras virtues, about being Good, youd do something to fix it.

The Goddess herself ordained

Come on, theres no way youre too religious to know those are fairy tales someone made up to defend their power structure. Sanora doesnt care about this country or its laws. I dont think she cares about much of anything, but if you disagree with that, then you have to see the gap between the ethics the Convocation teaches and what happens out there. You dont want me to topple it and start guillotining aristocrats? Then do something to prevent that becoming necessary!

That is not a small thing you ask, Pashilyn said quietly.

I shrugged. Obviously; neither would be rolling the heads in question. But if youll leverage your positions to figure something out, I will be more than happy to work with you. Things have to change, but Id super love to do it without killing anyone else if possible. I am really tired of killing people and Id much rather not, anymore. Help me out.

Pashilyn tilted her head, blinked once, and then slowly smiled at me.

Hm. You know You really are a good person, Lord Seiji.

I ignored the various noises made by Flaethwyn and my own treasonous followers.

That is the dumbest thing anyones ever said to me. And just to throw that into context for you, I used to work in retail.

Ive known my share of nihilistic misanthropes, she said, still smiling. Real ones; when one grows up among aristocrats, one grows accustomed to such people. You parrot some of their rhetoric, but you lack theirennui. A man like you, who is so infuriated by the injustice of the world? Well. You must have believed deeply in people, once, to be so disappointed by them.

I think the worst part was how Aster and Zui looked sodelightedly impressed.

My dear Lady Pashilyn, I said in my most pleasant tone, just in case we dont get to speak again for a while, I want you to know: I do not enjoy your company.

Her smile only widened. What a shame. I think we could have the most fascinating conversations.

I cant believe you people wont just let me stab him, Flaethwyn complained.

Flaethwyn, Yoshi said suddenly, I owe you an apology. Im sorry, but I havent been a very good friend to you.

She stared at him, blinking. Oh, um. I?

He drew in a deep breath, visibly steeling himself. Youve been there for me from the beginning, the one quickest to correct my mistakes. Youve saved me from a lot of self-inflicted problems. And I Ive been too nervous and tooweak to do the same for you.

Flaethwyn herself was starting to look nervous, now. Im, ah, Im not sure

I promise I will do better, Yoshi said seriously, holding her gaze. Youre important to me. So Ill help you realize when youre being incredibly unpleasant. Which is frequently.

The elf now looked like she was trying to swallow a particularly sour caltrop. It was one of the most delightful things Id ever seen.

Yoshi stepped forward, lowering his voice, and gently touched her on the arm. And if we were going to push you out of the group over it, believe me, we would have long ago. Thats not happening, Flaethwyn. II cant lose anyone else. Okay?

She inhaled, sharply and a little unevenly, and then managed to nod.

Good. Thanks. Yoshi smiled. Now please stop being mean. Youre acting like him.

Hey! I protested when he pointed at me. What did I ever do?

The resulting uproar consisted of so many overlapping voices I could only pick out the odd snatch of comprehensible language.

where to even start with

ahahahahaha HAA!

oughta kick him right in

never missed a single opportunity to be

own personal fuckin Conzart

that mouth every minute of every

I am also yelling!

is why nobody wants to

Sneppit loudly and repeatedly clapped her hands together until order restored itself.

All right, yes, its all very entertaining, but we all got more important shit to do. Lord Seiji, were gonna need you to stick around for a while and help get all this mess organized. Meanwhile, no offense meant and in all seriousness thanks sincerely for all your help, but its probably best if we get the rest of these butts outta Kzidnak before they start making things any more tense. Can we get somebody to guide them to a surface exit?

Ill show em out, Judge Gazmo said. Im used to em. Theyre okay kids, mostly.

Hell yeah, I like these butts! Fram said cheerfully, giving Amell a swat on the ass which caused the alchemist to gasp and leap away. Theyre funny. Sometimes on purpose, even!

I held out my hand toward Yoshi. Think about what I said.

He stepped forward to clasp it with his own, meeting my eyes a lot more steadily than he would have not so long ago. You think about what you said, too. Well stay on Dount for a while; the Kings Guild here has plenty of odd jobs for a group our size.

We should probably dawdle a bit on the way back, Pashilyn added, just to decide on what to put in the report. The Kings Guild needs to know the Goblin King is no longer a threat, but I think its best for everyone if we omitlarge parts.

That was definitely a moment of tension, but I nodded and released Yoshis hand. I trust your judgment. I kind of had to; it wasnt like I could control what they did, and asking for the kind of trust I was wouldnt work if I didnt offer it in return. In fact, you should probably just take credit entirely. Its not like anybodys going to contradict you. Wed better keep contact sparse, but Ill reach out to you at the Guild soon.

The city was beginning to quiet around us, the assembled goblins finally turning away from the spectaclea lot seemed to be holding impromptu celebrations, but doubtless many would be starting to pick up the pieces of their lives. They were going to need help. In fact, there was a lot that had to be doneso much I hardly knew where to begin.

Well, actually, no. The one thing I did know was where to begin.

Sneppit, I said after the last round of goodbyes, as we watched Yoshi and his team vanish into a tunnel avenue with Gazmo and Fram, know a private place nearby? Somewhere with a door and passable soundproofing. You and I need to have a talk.