4.22 In Which the Dark Lord's Expertise Comes in Handy

4.22 In Which the Dark Lord's Expertise Comes in Handy

And what is a vampire, exactly?

We were back on the ground and on the move at dawn, Rhydion and I being in agreementalbeit for separate reasonsthat it was best to respect our hosts terms strictly and not impose on their hospitality any further. As such we had had a quick breakfast from our own supplies rather than suggesting they should feed us again, and lingered only long enough to have someone unroll a ladder for us and be escorted to the periphery of the khora grove in which their village was built. Now we were off again, heading through the frigid forest toward the southwest, where the witch supposedly was.

That was all we knew: southwest. This promised to be a very annoying camping trip.

Youre asking me? I couldnt help being surprised at finding myself somehow the expert on fantasy bullshit. Youre the folks whove got one in your own country. Arent you all professional monster-slayers, too? I figured youd know all the details.

Each part of that was more wrong than the last. Dhinell seemed even grumpier than usual when cold and sleep-deprived.

I have never heard of such a thing, Rhydion answered, still as patient and seemingly calm as when hed asked a moment ago. And I am probably the closest to a professional monster-slayer out of any of us. I assumed it was something rare from your homeland, Lord Seiji.

Oh, theyre not from my homeland. We dont have vampiresin fact, where Im from, these are myths. Nobody believes theyre real. I think the original stories are from Eastern Europe.

And where the hell is that? Harker grunted.

Even farther from here than my own country. Which is really saying something.

Actually, in the cosmic sense, Europe was more or less exactly as far from Ephemera as Japan. It felt farther, though. Japan was seemingly where the abduction portal came out.Visit no(v)eLb(i)n.com for the best novel reading experience

Dhinell suddenly stopped mid-stride and turned toward me with an uncharacteristically thoughtful expression, so I braced myself for something very annoying to happen.

You came here by Spirit, didnt you. By her tone, it wasnt really a question. It happens from time to time, someone appears seemingly from nowhere, speaking arcane gibberish nobody understands. They failed a Spirits trial or just said the wrong thing to it and were sent here from another archipelago with no landbridges to this one.

Huh. Wellthat wasnt so bad. In fact, that was actually what Lord Arider had assumed during our very brief acquaintance. It was, as Id decided at that time, as good an explanation as any.

The language was the hardest part, I said, putting on a small smile. Not the worst part; Fflyr Dlemathlys is a nightmare for anyone who understand anything about economics, political science, or basic morality. But definitely the hardest. Honestly, what is it with you people and consonants? A syllable needs a maximum of one.

You keep saying things like that, Aster said, shaking her head. I dont believe any language could work that way and have enough vocabulary to actually communicate anything.

I turned my most aggrieved look on her. Et tu, Aster?

Harker grunted. And he speaks Latin, too. Somehow that seems about right.

It was all I could do to keep my own surprise contained at that. How the fuck did this guy know what Latin was? I thought back to the corrupted Spirits in Kzidnak, and the unidentified European language in which they were coded. Yoshi had suggested it was Latin, but With this whole place being made by celestial weeaboos, that would be a weird and really random thing to toss into the mix.

That other boy around the Guild, Dhinell commented, still staring at me. The one with features like yours. Hes cagey about where he came from, too. Not that Ive talked to him in any depth. The people he hangs around with tend to discourage civil conversation.

I had to grin at that. Yeah, Flaethwyns a treat, isnt she?

Dhinell narrowed her eyes at me. So you do know him.

Shit, maybe I shouldnt have said that. I know, I know, Seiji opened his mouth without thinking, stop the fucking presses. Well, on the other hand, denying it could lead to problems if Yoshi contradicted me later, or Rhydions helmet had the kind of truth-detecting feature I was starting to suspect it did.

Ive met Yoshi a few times, I said noncommittally. Bailed his party out of jail oncethat was also Flaethwyns fault, for the record. Shes like if the goddesses designed a whole person based on nothing but offensive stereotypes about highborn. Yoshi seems like a good kid, though. We dont exactly hang out.

Even though hes from your country?

I shrugged. Arent there people in Dlemathlys you dont like? Ive talked with Yoshi enough to know we have very little in common. I wish him luck doing the adventurer thing, but Ive got my own stuff going on.

Far be it from me to dissuade you from getting to know one another, but we are on pressing business. Rhydions interjection served to bring us back to the present; he then accentuated the point by turning to head off again, forcing the rest of us to hurry along with him. Lord Seiji was about to tell us about vampires. I would prefer to know what can be known as early as possible before we must confront one.

Right, vampires. I frowned in thought, trudging along through the snow and underbrush. Shit I was sort of counting on you to know how best to deal with them. The thing is, they are mythological creatures, or so I assumed until last night. There are hundreds of different stories and the rules are different in each of em. Im afraid anything I tell you in terms of strengths or weaknesses will turn out to be wrong and well be screwed for going into this with incorrect expectations.

How the hell are you so sure this is a vampire, then? Harker demanded.

Shes immortal and has to drink blood to live. Thats it, those are the basics, the only universals of the vampire mythos. Beyond that

Incorrect expectations are indeed a risk, Rhydion agreed. One which must be weighed against the risks of utter ignorance, however. We must trust your judgment, Lord Seiji. What can you tell us that you deem likeliest to be relevant?

I chewed my lip as we walked, considering. Once again, here I was being screwed by the fact that I had never been all that interested in fantasy media.

Lets see All right, its a fairly common part of the myth that they are physically superior to humans. Much stronger, faster, et cetera.

Lovely, Dhinell muttered.

As for other extremely common elements Well, a lot of the stories depict vampires as averse to sunlight. The possible effects of them being exposed to the sun range from instant fiery death to, uha weird visual effect that draws more attention than they want.

What, so they live underground? Harker demanded.

No, they only come out at night.

What the hell difference would that make? You mean its only the full intensity of direct sunlight?

It took me a second to remember where I was. Right, Ephemera was a broken, fragmentary planet where the nights never got fully dark because sunlight always streamed through the misty space where the mantle and crust should be.

Yeah, I guess so. As I keep saying, these are old stories and Im not an expert. Only other thing that seems extremely likely to me is that vampires are often described as being harmed or at least repelled by holy symbols. Im not sure how much weight that has in and of itself, but it seems relevant here if the squirrels are right about where this one came from. Supposedly she was with the Dark Lord.

I suppose they would know, Harker grunted. Yomiko brought them here, as well. Dount didnt have any beastfolk before she came.

At the pace wed taken it was less than two minutes before anyone spotted it. Even forewarned, I wasnt the first.

Hsst, Vylkher suddenly growled, dropping into a crouched stance.

I see it, Harker muttered. Rhydion, Delavada, best get front. They dont hit hard but theyre filthy, we want armored fighters in the van.

Both of them drew weapons, Aster stepping up to stand parallel with Rhydion and moving to the side into a cleared area where she had room to fully utilize her greatsword.

Its seen us, boss, going on the attack, Biribo whispered, and a second later I saw it.

The body of a human man, decomposing and apparently half-mummified, came staggering awkwardly out of the shadows beneath the khora directly in front of us, arms outstretched in a grasping motion and emitting a wet, rattling hiss from its gaping mouth.

For once, I found that fiction had more or less prepared me for this. A corpse is a corpse; if youve seen them walking around in movies, real life isnt much different. If anything, my basic familiarity with zombie media probably lessened the impact compared to what my companions must be feeling. What was surprising was the coloration. This thing was tainted green, and not from any decomposition. Its eyes glowed a vivid, pulsating neon green, and drooling ichor of the same color was visible inside its gaping mouth, and peeking through breaks in its rotted skin.

The zombies gait was awkward and halting, but not slow, and it was coming right at us with clearly murderous intent. Rhydion and Aster braced themselves, Vylkher and Harker drew arrows and aimed past their shoulders, and Dhinell began murmuring a quiet prayer to her goddess. In seconds it would

It tripped over a root and went sprawling in the snow.

We all stood there watching in bemusement as the felled zombie fumbled about like an upturned turtle. Poor thing was seriously lacking in coordination. It clawed at the ground, flopping ineptly over onto its back, and then began laboriously trying to drag itself back upright by a grip on the nearest khora.

Shaking my head, I stepped forward past Harker and held out one hand, aiming for the zombie through the gap between Aster and Rhydion.

Shock.

Damn that was fun! Lightning arced very satisfyingly from my fingertips to zap the undead. It immediately ceased its efforts, flopping onto its back in the snow angel it had just inadvertently made, smoking slightly and twitching.

Huh, I commented to no one in particular. For that to have worked, they must have some semblance of a functioning nervous system. Interesting.

Rhydion turned his helmet to face Aster, still keeping his body and sword angled toward the fallen zombie. You have the superior reach.

She nodded once and stepped forward, grim-faced. Aster paced to just within range of the zombie, which was still jerking but making nothing that looked like a concerted effort to get back up anymore. Bringing her greatsword up overhead, she brought it down in a wide vertical slash that cleaved the thing in half along a diagonal and sliced into the earth below it.

Aster pulled the blade loose and stepped back again, grimacing at the livid green smear across its blue akornin surface, and reached into her coat for a cleaning rag. The rest of us, meanwhile, crept forward to rubberneck at the slain zombie.

Her attack had clearly finished it off. There was only a bit more twitching before its separate pieces finally went still. From the bisected halves, livid and slightly glowing green goo was seeping out to form an acrid-smelling puddle in between.

An astute observation, Lord Seiji, Rhydion said quietly. At a glance, this appears very like those slain beyond the forest. They do indeed appear to have some kind of nerve activity, as well as a circulatory system. Damaging most of the organs in the torso has little effect, but we have observed that destroying either the heart or brain stops whatever force animates them. That alone speaks to the nature of their creation. Undead made through pure magic are often harder to kill; these seem to be the work of a skilled alchemist attempting to reproducelife.

Hmmm. I narrowed my eyes, watching the slime pouring steadily out of the corpses two segments and gooping together. Something about that was twigging my memory Dyou suppose shes trying to engineer a permanent food source for herself?

I think it would be a mistake to conjecture about her motives at this juncture. We have little chance of stumbling upon the truth and risk prejudicing ourselves.

Good point. That green stuff I dont remember seeing that in the ones back at the Ardyllen estate.

Those ones were pretty well burned by the time you got there, Harker replied. They were the same when freshly killed. Fortunately that stuff burns off pretty good once you light some asauthec on it.

Which we should do here, Dhinell suggested. Goddess only knows what devilry is seeping into the earth beneath us from that filth.

Waste of oil, Vylkher said laconically. This is far from anybody. Animals arent stupid enough to eat it. Shouldnt spread disease, in this cold.

Im not certain I agree, but considering how many more of these we are likely to encounter from here, we cannot afford to properly burn each one, said Rhydion. Best move forward.

Hang on. I leaned forward, kneeling in the melted snow to peer closely at the zombie.

Ugh, please dont touch it, Aster begged.

This I pointed at the livid green goo. It was moving togetherslowly as chilled syrup, but with more motive than gravity alone could account for. Did you guys investigate this stuff before you burned it?

I declared it too hazardous to touch, said Rhydion. We lacked a sufficiently specialized alchemist to make use of any samples. Do you recognize anything significant, Lord Seiji?

Itsits slime.

Well, its a good thing we brought him along, Harker said solemnly. Each new insight is more valuable than the last.

No, I mean its

I stood up, shaking my head, and stepped back. Pointing one hand at the puddle of green muck, I inhaled and projected in a dramatic way that I explicitly do not need to for spellcasting, both because it helped obscure my ability to silently cast and because I just plain enjoy things like that.

Tame Beast!

Connection.

I felt it, just like every other time Id done this. The awareness in the back of my head, my ability to reach out with my thoughts and seize control. It wasnt the same this time; the connection felt weaker, my instructions coming through but the response sluggish. Still, it worked.

Right before our eyes, the glowing puddle began to shift, drawing its lingering traces out of the zombies decaying circulatory system with more effort than before. It all congealed in the melted depression it had made in the snow, then drew together and rose upward, finally building a form from its previously melted state.

There it sat, a quivering, melon-sized ball of luminous green slime, clearly filthy with detritus from the forest floor and the inside of a corpse, not to mention diluted from all the melted snow it had absorbed, but still recognizable.

Its slime, I repeated. Or more accurately, its a slime. This crazy witch isnt raising the dead, shes figured out how to turn corpses into slime-powered puppets.