CH 105

The day of the school entrance ceremony. The day I met her.

That too after the ceremony, and before I returned home.

“The likes of school entrance ceremony are a pain. Honestly speaking, I didn’t have any intention of attending……I was thinking of skipping.”

Indeed, I too had similar thoughts.

I had thought of the entrance ceremony as an event for classmates to just get together and get a glimpse of the high school life they were about to start. It had no actual value.

That’s why there is no meaning to this ceremony. Participation should be voluntary.

I remembered having such thoughts while standing in the line for the freshmen.

She too must have had been entertaining similar thoughts while standing in that same line.

“From junior high to high school, there’s only a change in the school building. For me, that was all it was. I didn’t think anything else would change……I had no intention of getting along with those around me.”

There was a short pause at this point. Then, she continued with her narration.

“Back then, every day was boring……Coming to school was a pain. So I spent my days bored.”

“That hasn’t changed even now though?”

Isn’t she always saying that? That every day is boring? Hasn’t that feeling not changed even now?

She flashed a smile at my question and answered.

“True that there has been no change in how I fundamentally feel. However, there has been one clear change.”

“……That is?”

“That you are here now.”

An immediate reply.

She spoke clearly, not a hint of hesitation or embarrassment in her words.

“If I did find a reason to come to school, that would be because you were in the same class, next to me.”

“……”

I don’t know.

Why did she have such special feelings for me?

I waited for her next words to understand her feelings that were still unclear to me.

“Well, even if I say that, you wouldn’t understand the reason. These are my personal feelings after all.”

She, who had been looking up at the sky, turned to look at me.

Although we were sat together, there was still some distance between us.

Her eyes met mine. Momentarily.

It truly was for no more than a moment.

It was rare to see her speak so honestly. I sensed something different about her compared to her usual self.

Trying to understand the feelings she embraced while looking at me, I met her gaze head-on, but soon, retracted.

It was because of her expression, as always, that gave away nothing.

“……As expected, there isn’t anything special about you, huh.”

“……Hm?”

What was she talking about?

Nothing special?

I wasn’t quite able to understand what she meant by that and put on a perplexed expression. Then, she proceeded to explain.

“I hate being given the special treatment. ‘She can do it because she is Kirasaka’s daughter; because she is a genius, it’s only natural that she can do it’……I have heard these lines several times in my short life.”

I couldn’t understand that emotion.

On one hand was the extraordinary her who has been told her whole life that she was special. On the other was the ordinary me, who hasn’t been defined as anything more than ‘average’ by the people around me.

Did more words need to be spoken in the face of such a glaring disparity? No.

All I could do was engage in this short soliloquy session of answering my own question.

“I really hate people who dismiss the difference between themselves and others with such convenient words.”

Those words seemed packed to the brim with negative emotions.

Surely, she feels like that from the bottom of her heart.

It was tough for me to understand.

However, people who had too much had their share of worries.

Many asked for the moon.

However, there were also those who possessed what only a select few could, and only they knew about the troubles that came along.

“It’s true that my family has money…….That’s because my parents have worked hard. My scores are good because I don’t neglect my studies. I only have my parents to thank for my good looks though. I have good style because I pay attention to my diet and exercise properly.”

“Some bragging seems to be mixed in……”

I couldn’t help but cut in at her bragging in the middle of a serious story.

As if to say she didn’t mind my remark, however, she continued with her story.

“It isn’t that I was born with everything, but people insist that I was born talented……There is only a little bit of a difference between them and me, but they won’t accept that.”

I recalled what people around her had to say about her.

‘Genius’, ‘talented’, ‘different from the start’, ‘because she is rich……’.

True that she was born with a different innate disposition. Hence, there must have been many voices that regarded her different.

It didn’t apply only to her.

People had similar things to say about Shizuku and Yuuto.

I had always seen them up close, yet I had never thought deeply about the things people had to say about them.

I didn’t notice that the girls were hurting from the onslaught of things being spoken about them.