[Book Three] Chapter 40: Repressed memories

[Book Three] Chapter 40: Repressed memoriesChapter 40: Repressed memories

*crash*



“Ah! Almost!”



Rick’s exclamation made Dr. Michel leave her desk and walked toward his bed situated behind a wall for privacy. The frown on her face was a testament of how annoyed she was with her patient. It’s been a week since his surgery and the man had begun to try to occupy his time as best as he could. When he wasn’t on his personal terminal doing God knew what he was using his biotic for something. All she knew was that the floor vase and pitchers in the room were on the floor and rather far away from the last location she had seen them. Bending over she picked the pitcher from the floor and put it on his bedside table.

“Could you, please stop doing that?” she asked with hope but she knew deep, down that it was a vain one.

“I could and would even, if I had something else to practice my biotics on. Like rubber balls or something.” Rick agreed.

“Rubber balls? You couldn't have asked for them earlier?” she inquired with a lot of heat. That was the sixteenth time she had come to his area to pick up something and she was seriously done.

“It didn’t cross my mind until now. Sorry if that inconvenienced you.”

“Can’t you just wait to be out to practice your biotics?”

“No. Once I’m out, I won’t have time at all. Now is the perfect moment. Besides, it’s partially to avoid you coming in to give me stuff I need.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m trying to use my biotics like some kind of whip? I grab something with them and pull it to me. So far the grabbing part I have it down. The pulling part however...”

“...I see.” she said, a bit astonished. “Tell you what. I’m getting you those rubber balls tomorrow if for the rest of the day you stop your shenanigans with your biotics.”

“Deal!” he exclaimed faster than a blink denoting how bad he wanted things these rubber balls and things to change.



Muttering an ‘thank god’ the good doctor began to walk back toward her desk but stopped when Rick called out to her.

“What was the tune you sang yesterday?”

“What tune?” she asked with a brow raised.

“The one about a skeleton, I think. I don’t remember much about what it was about because I think I was half asleep but it was quite catchy and familiar.”

“You’re going to have to ask Councilor Shepard, she’s the only one who came by yesterday and I don’t know of any song about skeletons.”



With that said, she quickly went back to her desk hoping that everything would go well. She knew who he was and how he was related to the current human councilor but nothing more. She did have a pretty good idea however. A ten year old child does not run away from his only family for fun. Most of the time. Something bad must have happened between the two and hearing and seeing people act here and there she got a good idea that the one at fault wasn’t Rick. And that was before Jane Shepard herself told her to be careful of her mother with Rick and of Rick’s temper when the woman was involved. There was a years long grudge there and she didn’t want to touch anything close to it with a ten feet pole. That is until the Shepard senior came to her small clinic with a peculiar face late in the night. Apprehension, fear and regret were plain to see on the redhead. Clearly she was trying to mend things and she knew it was a tall order at best. Thus Chloe took it upon herself, for reasons she blamed on her empathy and caring nature, to help the older woman with her son, hence her telling Rick the truth straight about his mother’s clandestine visit the previous day.

Whatever she was thinking got interrupted by the door of the clinic opening, revealing Sarah Williams. The young redhead got inside her workplace and greeted her warmly.



“Hello, Doctor.” the young woman said, putting down a fresh cup of coffee.

“Hello, Miss Williams and thank you.” replied Chloe, her frown transforming into a smile. Her coffee was good, but the one they made at the Flux was better.

“Did he give you any trouble yet?” Sarah had come to know after a week of seeing Rick, a new part of his personality. Most notably the childish and annoying part. She couldn’t really blame him for his attitude. He was stuck in a bed or a wheelchair while the war was raging on. His own friends were out there fighting and he wasn’t there with them which frustrated him. Ashley had told her of some of his problems and she honestly thought he was dealing well with the situation so she gave him some slack. Should he cross a line however she wouldn’t hesitate to give him a tongue lashing.

“A bit, but we sorted it out. He’ll behave for the rest of the day.”

Sarah nodded and went to put her belongings in her locker to start her day.





_________________________________________________________

“I’m home!”



Gasping in surprise and happiness he closed the children's book he was reading. Not caring about the gaze of the old woman knitting on the couch, he stood up on his very short legs and ran out of the communal area towards the entrance where he saw Jane in her Alliance uniform. The smile on her lips grew twice in size when she saw him. Putting a knee down she opened her arms; a clear invitation for a hug; and he jumped straight into them. In a flash he was in her embrace and spinned around before she started raining kisses on his face, making him giggle.

“I missed you! So much!” said Jane, burying her face to the side of his head.

“I missed you too, mama!” ‘What?!’

“Did you behave? You didn’t give any trouble to Mrs. Hernandez, did you?”

“No, mama. I behaved.” ‘What the fuck is going on?!’

“He’s been an angel Lieutenant. So was your daughter. She’s in her room doing her homework.” the old woman who had stopped knitting said. She had left the couch and joined them in the entrance of the quarters. Her work was done and it was time for her to leave. She had her own family to go back to.

“Thank you, Jolene.” not-Jane said to the woman and escorted her out, Rick still in her arms. “Now, how about we save your sister from her homework and you both tell me about your day?”

“Jaaaaaaaaane! Mama is home!” ‘That can’t be real.’

The door to the far end of the wall to the communal room opened on the spot with strength and a small and short redhead girl appeared. She made her way with haste towards them with a happy face.

“Mom!” exclaimed the child as she hugged her mother’s side.

“Mama wants to know about our day.” ‘Am I dead? Is this Hell?’

“Hmm. Then I’ll make dinner.”



The scene changed. He was now laying down on a small bed and Jane's doppelganger was sitting by his side, holding his tiny hand. She was singing.



“Spirits supernatural are shy what's all the fuss?

But bags of bones seem so unsafe, it's semi-serious.”



His eyelids felt heavy and slowly fell down, the slow lullaby still going on.

“Spooky, scary skeletons

Are silly all the same.

They’ll smile and scrabble slowly by...”

His eyes opened with a start and saw none other than his birth giver sitting on a chair next to his bed. She was holding his hand firmly while she kept on singing. Looking at the time through his helmet’s interface, he was surprised that it was 1 AM. For a moment he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know how to react. Should he pretend to still be asleep, should he remove his hand from hers? What was it that he had just witnessed? Not finding an answer to any of the questions going through his mind, Rick defaulted to a ‘take no shit, intimidate and take control’ approach. That translated to being silent and flaring his biotics. He hoped that whatever was going would stop, as it usually did when he did so, or simply escalated into violence (which usually allowed him to come up on top) not remembering that he was stuck in his bed without the use of his legs. Unfortunately for him, the one he was dealing with was not any one. Hannah Shepard was not the run out of the mill person. She was a war veteran and more importantly to note... was Hannah Fucking Shepard. Much like her son, she didn’t take shit from anyone, unless she wanted to, and wasn’t intimidated one bit. If anything her hold onto his hand became firmer. None of them said anything for who knows how long. Rick knew it felt like hours, so did Hannah. The truth was it lasted for less than ten seconds.



“LET. GO.” were all the words he let out in a threatening tone. They had absolutely no effect on the offending woman.

“No.”

The finality in her own tone was clear, she wouldn’t do what he ordered and wasn’t open to negotiations. Not like Rick was to begin with. His free hand raising up and channeling a Throw to knock her away was proof of that. Hannah wasn’t dumb however and simply caught his other hand’s wrist with her own free one, rising from her seat and bending forward to do so.



“Now what?” she said smugly.

“...”



After another moment of silence, she changed her grip from his wrist to his hand.

“Just a bit more and I’ll leave.”

“...” He didn’t say anything at first. He wanted her to leave now but since he wasn’t in position to make her do so, he depowered his biotics and bit the bullet hoping he wouldn’t have to endure her presence for more than a minute. “Better be forever.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Of course you can, you did just fine for years.”

“And it was terribly wrong of me.”

“True. You admit it, I admit it. We both agree on it, so now fuck off.”

“No, not yet.”

“Fine! What the fuck do you want so you can leave me the fuck alone?”

“See your face for one but I’ll be content with just spending some time with you.” she answered, which made him scoff.

“Me alive, you’ll never see what’s under the helmet. As for spending some time? You had all the time in the world and just didn’t care about it. No, you prefered bringing guys back into our living quarters and fucking them right there in a open.”

“I didn...” she began to reply with a frown but was cut off on the spot.

“I was right there the day you celebrated Jane’s enrollment. Right in the kitchen eating the food I had to get by myself and that I had to cook for myself while you went down on the guy. You didn’t even notice when I went to my room, picked my belongings and left. Too busy spending your time sucking his pine needle of a dick then bouncing on his lap and moaning like a whore.”



Hannah did everything she could to not let her body recoil at his words filled with vitriol and venom. She knew he had left after Jane enlisted but she never knew exactly when. Leaving was something she would have done too had she been in his shoes. She knew she was a shitty mother for neglecting him but that she was so successful at it that she forgot about her own child and had sex in front of him with no care in the world, filled her with even more shame and guilt than she already had. She couldn’t help herself and feel like the worst. Not only as a mother but as a person.

“So don’t tell me you want to spend some time with me when you never did or were interested in it. We both know it’s because you don’t have a dick to suck or ride at the moment. As far as I’m concerned you’re only mushing up to me to get back in Jane’s good graces for good.”

“... I’m not.” she finally answered after a small silence doing her very best to not let her voice crack. “I’m not here for Jane. I’m here for you.”

“Even if that were to be true, I don’t want you here. I don’t want you around me. I can’t kill you because of Jane but I...”

“I don’t care. I’ll be there nevertheless. As it should be and as it should have been.”

“Your funeral.”

“Then my funeral it is, as I said, I don’t care. Every child deserves all sacrifices from their parents. If hurting me makes you happy or puts you in a better mood, then I’ll do it. I’m truly sorry John...”

“My name...”

“I know but you can’t be Rick, disassociating yourself from John, and blaming me for all the wrong I did to him. It's John I hurt, not Rick, so there is no point in me apologizing to the latter because I never did anything to him.”

“...”

“I’ll never stop apologizing. I’ll never stop trying to make up for what I did even though it’s impossible. There is no making up for that. But You deserved it. I ought it to you to do it, whether you like it or not because it’s the right thing to do. I’m not doing it out of guilt because my guilt can’t be appeased.”



“Beni?”



The Asari matriarch smiles at the surprise in his tone. It wasn’t every day that Rick was caught off guard or didn’t see something happening out of his logical foresight.



“There have been some changes of plans.” was her opening for the explanation the three humans in the room wanted and needed. “The small commando team Aethyta spared you, had to go on an urgent mission.”

“More urgent than stopping Cerberus building their army?” asked Rick.

“It’s not confirmed, yet.”

“Miss Lawson is right. Aethyta indulged you because you’ve proven to be right more than fairly often. Despite that, the odds that you are wrong, especially when it’s just a hunch you have, are higher than you being right.”

“I understand but... You could have given me a call to warn us, we wouldn’t...”

“The mission is still happening. Instead of a team of commandos, you get me and a pilot.”

“You? No offense but aren’t you...” Jennifer began and couldn’t find the words to properly convey what she was thinking. Instead she just waved her hand up and down at the matriarch who gave her a knowing smirk.

“Jen, Beni is one powerful biotic you don’t want to mess around with, though since I don’t see you in commando leathers, can I presume that you won’t be in the field?” he warned his sister-in-law then looked at Benezia.

“You’re correct. I’m sorry to say that you’d be alone on the field while I’ll be on the ship... ‘supervising’” she said with an apologetic face.

“You’re here to clear your image too.” noted Miranda.

“Yes. Aethyta needs help leading but with... my falling out of grace thanks to Saren and Sovereign, the asari in general do not trust me. They go along with Aethyta because they trust all other matriarchs even less than they do me but they’d rather see me away from her.”

“A successful mission of this amplitude against Cerberus would help a great lot. Make sense.” Rick nodded. “Soooo. Since we’re fewer than intended on the ship, I guess I can bunker up with you? That way those two can...”



All out of pillow, Jennifer went for a punch to the face.

~~~~~



In the end Rick did share a bed with Benezia. Nothing sexual happened, despite his dick being functional. Both had some common sense and knew that any strenuous activity of the like would set back Rick’s recovery by a lot, especially with how wild the matriarch was in bed. During the trip he purposefully left Jen and Miranda alone or made it so they were together a lot. He mentally fist bumped himself at the sight of the two of them getting along more and more.

By the time they reached Horizon, Rick’s was fully healed and while it was ill-advised he could fight. They landed in a field not far from Sanctuary, among other ships to blend in. After all it was an infiltration mission and not a raid. The major issue with that was that both of his teammates were easily recognizable by Cerberus. Him? He just had to lose the helmet. Fortunately Miranda was a pro and came prepared. Platinum Blond for her hair and hazel eyes for contact lenses. Add to that clothes that were not as form fitting as her catsuit and she was good to go.

Jennifer was a whole other matter. She had her tattoos to cover and her haircut. The former was easier to deal with by the use of clothes covering her body instead of exposing her skin. She didn’t like that much as she felt restricted but went along with it. What she didn’t go along with however, was the wig that Miranda gave her. The fake hair was raven black - much like Miranda’s natural color - and very long, reaching the middle of her back. When Rick announced that she would definitely wear it once they finally got down and dirty, she nearly made him choke on the wig. In the end, Jennifer used a ball cap with her ponytail still on display.

Their gear was safely packed in false bottomed suitcases that could pass any inspection. They didn’t have many weapons to hide and with the exception of Rick’s shotgun, all were small. It wasn’t a big risk to not have them on themselves, they were after all biotics. Powerful ones at that.

Once ready they exited the ship, Benezia and the pilot staying behind ready to leave at a moment’s notice, they followed other people around them going to the allegedly safe haven from the Reaper. When it was time to be identified and registered at the entrance, everything went smoothly.

“Mister Alan Smithee?” inquired the receptionist looking at his identification.

“That’s correct and this here is my wife Laana Smithee and her sister Amalea Whitson.” he answered with a smile pulling Jennifer towards him with one arm, grabbed her ass firmly with his hand and kissed her cheek. She gave back the fakest of smiles, clearly indicating that she wanted to beat him to a pulp. Miranda didn’t know if she should laugh or panic at her reaction.



The woman checking their ID did so on her terminal and seeing that everything was in order, looked up to him.



“Everything is in order. Welcome to Sanctuary. Behind me on your right is the gathering for a tour of the complex. There is one every fifteen minutes. On the left is an interactive map of the complex, if you’re not interested in the tour or simply can’t wait to get inside your room. Speaking of, would you need two rooms or a single one?”

“A single one with two beds if possible, otherwise a big single one. A room for a single person in those times would be a waste.”

“Of course. Hmm... Room 33420, building D. Single room, two beds. Anything you wish to know about Sanctuary is available on the terminal in your room.”

“Thank you.”

With another smile and a nod, Rick took the digital key to their room , wished the receptionist a nice day, and moved forward inside the complex, Jennifer’s ass still in his hand. They directly went left, not bothering with the wait for a tour and instead looked at the map and to download it. Afterwards, he released his ‘wife’ and took an elevator which had very few people in it. It took over ten minutes for them to reach their room and signaled his partners to be mindful of what they said, not sure if the room was bugged or not. Since he was sure it was he used his omni-tool to check and the results were baffling. No less than 56. Instead of disabling them he sent a loop of silence.



“We’re good.” he warned them.

“About time!” Jennifer shouted, removing her ball cap and plowing down on the bed.

“While I’m used to you doing the impossible, I’m curious about how you forged our identities so fast.” Miranda asked as she handed her suitcase to Rick who put it on the bed near Jennifer.

“When you’re in touch with the human councilor everything is easy. I could have hacked the Alliance database but it would have required going to a human colony and the updates would have taken too much time. Let’s not forget the Reapers everywhere.”



That was true. On the ship he had sent a message to Hannah requesting the creation of those three identities, profile picture attached, just before they left the ship. Of course he had warned her in advance (on the ship, not before they left the citadel), so she had been ready to make them quickly. On another note he had been surprised that she didn’t blow up on him from leaving while still not fit for the field. She simply requested to know what the hell he was doing and to be careful. He hadn’t answered back.

“We’re in, what’s the plan, Dickhead?”

“The plan...” he began and activated his omnitool to get access to the terminal in the room. “Is first to assert that I was right about this place being a Cerberus cover up. Then, we expose them and then blow everything up.”

“I like that plan, especially the last part.”

“What about the people?” inquired Miranda.

“... I don’t know to be honest. So far I’ve got nothing.”

“Nothing?” Jennifer exclaimed, raising her head from the pillow it was resting to look at him.

Even Miranda had surprise on her face. If there was one thing they knew about him, it was that he always had an idea of what to do because he knew things. That he didn’t was like telling them that the sun was rising from the West on Earth.

“Nothing. If they’re lucky they evacuate and run away, if they’re not, they would probably get killed by Cerberus which will try to maintain control over them. There is also the possibility of Cerberus quickly bailing out and leaving everyone alone but it’s very unlikely.”

“So they’re toast, then.”

“Yes, Jen.” he replied without a care while he worked on his omni-tool.

“That’s not like you.” the biotic teacher commented.

“What’s like me? Saving everyone? That’s Jane.”

“You always find a way for the best outcome.” interjected Miranda.

“Yes but I don’t have the time nor the resources for that. You’re so used to me aligning with Jane for the saving of the maximum of life that you forget that I’m pragmatic at the core. Do I want to save those people? Yes. Can I? No. From there there is no point in caring about them. I’m already risking my life and yours to take down Cerberus, I won’t risk it for those people when I’m needed for the war. Especially when both Jane and Hackett forbid me from doing so. I’m involved in too many important things to risk my life recklessly like that.”

“... If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you have a big head.” commented the platinum blonde.

“He has a big head but yeah.”

“Still for Admiral Hackett and Jane to explicitly order you to not take risk...”

Rick took a deep breath and let out a long deep and tired sigh. Lowering his arm with the omni-tool, he reached for the suitcase and put it on the ground, before joining Jennifer on the bed, right next to her.

“I’m heading most of the R&D of the alliance by myself. Any new tech developed during this war probably comes from my mind. I’m also working on the whole propaganda about Jane and the Normandy and its crew. And I’m also or rather also have been trying to support Jane in her quest to unite every species in the galaxy. The salarian Dalatrass being replaced? That’s me. Putting Aethyta in charge of the asari? That’s me. Recruiting the Rachnis? That’s me. Making sure there is peace between Quarians and Geth while recruiting them for the war effort? That’s me too. Add to that, trying to dismantle Cerberus, putting traps to make sure we get them all and finally, finding what the catalyst is since I’m one of three people in the galaxy actually able to read prothean. Wait, I forgot training my biotics and Jane’s and my time on the field because she’s bringing me everywhere.”

His long tirade left them speechless for a bit. Each job should require multiple people and yet he was doing all of them. Alone.

“Do you ever sleep?”

“Six to eight hours. Jane doesn’t let me work beyond sixteen to eighteen hours a day.” was the answer Miranda got.

“Dude...”

“I know. Wish there would be someone else to pick up some of my slack but apparently there isn’t. That’s why I’m forbidden to do crazy things which include trying to find a way to save those people. It’s sad but I can’t exert myself to save a few thousands people and risk trillions by doing so.”



With that said, he flared his omni-tool back up and continued his investigations. In the meantime Miranda and Jennifer exchange a look. One that lasted a lot more than a second; the two women having silently a conversation about what they had just heard. In the end Jennifer just shrugged her shoulders and looked at what Rick was doing.



“Found anything?”

“Yes and no. Cerberus must have listened to me talking because there are no blueprints of the complex on the servers, or rather... not the original.”

“How can you tell?” inquired Miranda who laid down on his otherside on the bed.

“I... Hmm... I’d say a gut feeling but that comes from experiences and from things you saw but didn’t pay attention to.”

“In other words, something is bugging you but you don’t know what.” Jennifer translated.

“Yes... Wait...”



He looked at a peculiar spot on the blueprints and zoomed. He observed in silence, trying to follow his intuition. Jennifer tried to but didn’t understand one bit what she was seeing. It was Miranda that pointed it out. Literally.

“There. There are energy cables going through that part that go down. There is a ladder too.”

“Yes, that’s weird.”

“Why?” inquired the biotic teacher, looking at the right spot. “To me it looks normal. A cable going down to a lower level.”

“That’s because that part is not walkable, it’s those big water areas we saw on the elevator.”

“So that’s what the ladder is there for. To get from an area to another. A bit impractical, no?”

Jennifer was right. Cerberus would need to drain the whole area which is in plain view of everyone. Not really fitting for a cover operation as big as Sanctuary.

“I think it's more like an emergency exit. People would come from the other side to ours.”

“Regardless, we can’t use that passage to infiltrate. We need to find another way, one that regular Cerberus personnel use.” Rick’s pet noted.

The man nodded at that and changed tactics. He hacked into the security network to get a real time feed of the numerous cameras all over the complex.

“I’m giving you access too. There is no way I can do it on my own. Give priority to dead ends, staff only areas and small groups of staff members moving suspiciously.”



After doing so, he sent a message to Benezia. He updated her on the fact that they were in, undetected for now and had begun their search.