[Book Four] Chapter 1: The beginning of a long aftermath

[Book Four] Chapter 1: The beginning of a long aftermath AnnouncementHere is the last book of Out For Karma: Mass Effect

While this book is inspired by Mass Effect: Andromeda, it's only a tiny little bit. It's mostly AU and original.

Will there be the Ketts? Yes but not that much. They are not the focus of this book.

Book One was about Vengeance and Rick surviving what happened to him.

Book Two was about Rick's struggles in moving on.

Book Three was about acceptance, healing and moving on.

Book Four will be about living.

I hope you will like it.

Ps: There may be some discrepencies between what happened post Book Three: Chapter 39 and how the events are told in this book. the reason is simple. I wrote all Book four before writting the end of Book three.

Don't worry, the discrepencies are minors and doesn't change anything important and consequential.

Chapter 1: The beginning of a long aftermath

Despite only being eight in the morning, the sun was already shining bright. A slight cold breeze distinctive of the month of March could be felt by everyone outside. It wasn’t strong enough to be biting but enough to swing slightly the middle length ponytail of a woman making her way with determination to the, still temporary, headquarters of the Alliance. Dressed in impeccable jeans and a black leather jacket, the woman entered the building as if it was a daily routine. She didn’t have any ID on her; no badge hanging around her neck nor stuck on her jacket, yet every guard let her go through without even moving an inch to stop her or verify her identity and simply gave her a small nod of salute. When she reached one of the elevators, one of the guards posted near the doors, to stop any intruder trying to take them, gave her a small smile who grew noticeably bigger when their eyes dropped down to her chest level and looked at the small passenger cradled into the woman’s arms.



When the door opened, the woman got in and pushed the button for the floor eighty nine. The ascension from the ground level lasted only a few minutes (and to the woman’s surprise without any interruption) and made her wonder if the guards inside the security and control room didn’t do something for this to happen. Ditching this thought away as soon as the elevator’s door opened, she skipped the reception desk and went straight right, down a long corridor towards a big office. As soon as the secretary saw her approaching she smiled and used her terminal to probably warn of the visit to her superior. A few seconds later and a nod indicating that she could enter, the woman, never stopping her walk, entered the now familiar office.



“Anderson.”

“Shepard!” the Admiral and hero of the Alliance greeted, rising from his seat. “It’s good to see you again and this little one too.” he added as he went around his desk and reached the redhead before caressing the cheek of the baby in her arms who giggled. “May I?”

“Of course!” sounded like a given answer.



In an instant the baby was snatched away and found itself in the black man’s arms, who immediately went back to his seat to occupy it.



“Come on, take a seat, Commander.” He invited her.

“After everything we went through together, you could call me by my name.” said Jane, sitting down.

“Force of habit. It will take time.” he replied, still rocking the baby.

“It’s fine, I’m not in a hurry. It took time too for my own field team.”

“What brought you here? Do you need anything?”

“It’s about the ceremony.”

“It’s in three months.”

“I know and I came to tell you that I can’t be part of it.”

“You can’t not be present for it. It’s the anniversary of the end of the war. People expect you to be present.”

“It’s not right... Not right for me to be there when he isn’t.” she replied sadly, making Anderson sigh. “He was as detrimental to our victory if not more than I was. He should be honored too, more than any other.”

“Yes, he should be but you know he wouldn’t like that. “

“... No, he would not, no.”

“Have you gone to see him recently?”

“... No. I didn’t have the time.” she shook her head negatively, lying. A lie that Anderson recognized as what it was.

“Commander, Jane...”

“It’s too hard. Watching him, motionless, unresponsive... It’s like... like he’s dead and I can’t bury him because he’s not.”

“Miss Lawson did her very best...”

“I know, I know. I’m not blaming Miranda, it’s just...”





_______________________________________________________________________________________





The first thing he felt was the familiar warmth of the sun on his face. The next, what a feeling of grass under him. Opening his eyes and confirming with his eyes that he was some kind of vast plain, he moved his body to a sitting position and observed his surroundings.



“Rick.” a voice from behind him called out to him. He recognized it immediately or rather he recognized from which species it belonged to. The inflection, the tone and most notably, the synthetized sound; he knew it was a geth. Turning his head around he saw one, as expected. One that he was familiar with by his appearance alone since it was sporting a broken N7 armor.

“Legion. It’s been... a few months. I guess I’m dead then.” said Rick as he stood up and faced his friend.

“You died, yes.”

“It turns out I was right about synthetics having a soul.” the man grinned.

“You were.”

“I gather it’s not heaven, otherwise you’d have a complete replica of Jane’s armor, not what you died in.”

“No, it is not.”

“Well... I didn’t expect to go there... Not with all my sins but hell is not quite like I imagined it to be.”

“It is not hell, either.”

“No?”

“No.”

“Purgatory? Limbo?”

“Neither of those. From what I’ve been told and understood, it is the in-between of life and death.”

“But you said I was... No you said I died, does that mean, I’m not anymore? Not completely? Please tell me my body is not walking around screaming and grunting for brains! Wait! You’re dead! Why are you here, then? Are they discriminatory against synthetics? Those ass...”



He cut himself off talking when he heard a familiar sound coming from behind Legion. A sound that made him freeze on the spot. A sound that he had almost forgotten but had loved so much. So melodious, so full of warmth and that brightened his day and chased aways his darkest thoughts more than anything. Immediately, tears started to form at the corner of his eyes and quickly fell along his cheeks, knowing perfectly well who that laugh belonged to.



“A... Ana...”

“Surprise!”



A tall woman, with hair as black as a dark hole and eyes so bright and blue as the sky, appeared from behind Legion with a big smile on her face. As soon as he saw her, Rick rushed forward and hugged her so violently that they fell to the ground.



“Oompfh. Easy there, tiger.”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” cried Rick with everything he had, his head buried into her chest.



Sighing in exasperation, she grabbed the back of his head with one hand and began to caress it comfortingly. After a minute or two, she used her second hand to pull up his head and make him look at her.



“It wasn’t your fault. It never was.”

“But...”

“No buts. If anything, you saved us and I’ll never thank you enough for that.”

“I was away. I was too late, too slow.”

“And it was still not your fault. You did your very best to get to us but it was already too late. Don’t blame yourself for something you couldn’t control.”

“I could have captured you, found a way to...”

“You couldn’t.”

“You don’t know that! I’m the smartest guy around! To me, impossible, is just...”

“You couldn’t. The moment we began to turn we were dead. Even if you did find a way, we would have been catatonic. Our souls had already departed.”

“I...”

“Enough crying and whining! I don’t remember falling in love and marrying a wimp! It wasn’t your fault. Period! Get that into your thick skull and let it go..” she said sternly with a frowning face.

“... Alright.” he replied and frowned too, before pulling himself up and helping her stand up. “I have questions.” he added and wiped his tears away.

“And I’m here to answer as many as I can.”

“Legion?”

“I just came here to welcome my friend. I will let you two alone.” replied the geth.

“You know, if you’re the welcome party of every one from the crew, you may want to have a bar with alcohol at hand.”

“...That is not a bad idea.”



And with those words, the synthetic walked away from the married couple and faded out of existence.



“He’s gone back to heaven.” Analysse explained, knowing what her husband was going to ask.

“And we... are not going because... I can’t go there, I gather. Is this a final goodbye?”

“Oh, no! No, no! It’s just not your time. Do you really believe after saving so many lives you don’t deserve to go to heaven?”

“I sacrificed millions.” he protested with a frown.

“To save trillions. No, the pearly gates wouldn’t be closed to you if you went to them now. In fact you’d be welcomed with a fanfare by every species that the Reapers destroyed for billions of years.”

“...Really?” That was a shock if he ever had one.

“You gave them justice, you gave them vengeance, you gave them peace.”

“Not to the ones I...”

“Oh, some were mad, some were not. Most understood why you did it and blamed their leaders or at least those that have a functional and rational brain, understood. By now, since they’re in heaven or hell they don't care if you’re responsible or not for their death. Why bother when you’re in heaven after all?”

“... You said ‘if I went to them now’. That means if I don’t go now, they may not open for me again?”

“The gates open if your good deeds outweigh your bad ones during your life. If you go back to the living world and do bad things that outweigh the good..”

“Straight to hell.”

“Yes.”

“You’re implying that I can go back to the living world and Legion said that I died but that I’m not dead anymore... Did Miranda get her hands on my body to relaunch the Lazarus project? Or ist it someone else? Or... did I survive my wounds in the end?”

“Yes. Admiral Anderson, and isn’t that a good name...” she commented with a smirk. “Called in for a medical evacuation while your sister and mother were crying over your dead body.”

“She’s not my mo...”

“Enough with this. She is your mother. Yes, she fucked up. Royally at that. But she did her very best to make up for her mistakes and will spend the rest of her life doing it.”

“She’s...”

“Human. And like every human, sometimes she’s irrational, most notably in front of the unknown.”

“You can’t expect me to...”

“I do because I’m asking you.”

“You’re not being fair!” he protested with a snarl. Clearly he was not pleased with what he heard.

“Life is not fair, Rick. We wouldn’t be here otherwise.” she replied, grabbing one of his cheeks in her hand.

“Except it’s not life, it’s death! It’s supposed to be fair to everyone.”

“Now, you’re just being pedantic.” she sighed before asking again her request. “Please do it.”

“Fine! I’ll try! I don’t get why you want me to do it but I’ll try!”

“Thank you.” answered Analysse and gave him a peck on his lips.

“That is, if I can go back at all. Heck if I want to go back at all!”

“And why wouldn’t you want to go back?”

“Because you’re here! The both of you! Where is she by the way? Where is Samara?”

“Elsewhere. Safe and in good hands.” she replied evasively with a knowing smile.

“Where?”

“I can’t tell you, darling. It’s the rules.” she added in the end as she knew he was about to ask why she couldn’t tell him.

“Why would I go back is still up in the air.”

“Because I’m asking you too? And because you left so many people behind. Jane, Ash to name a few...”

“Fuck, you made allusions before but you really watched everything...” Rick cursed dejectedly and a bit ashamed.

“How could I not? I was dead worried about you, stupid! And I was right to do so!”

“... Eh, dead worr... Ouch!” he shouted in pain as she pinched his cheek hard for his bad joke.

“That’s what you get for being an idiot. You don’t know how much I cheered for her when Ash punched your face for your stupidity.”

“I wasn’t...”

“I know. I saw it. I felt it. I screamed at you with everything I had for you to not do it but of course you couldn’t hear me because that’s not how it works.”

“...”

“...”

“About Ash...”

“I approve. You know that.”

“I wanted to be sure.”

“I also approve of them all. That includes my sister and yours.” added Analysse with a teasing grin.

“Ugh... You saw that too.”

“Oh, you thought I wouldn’t watch you fuck your own sister? That I wouldn’t watch my baby sister fucking my husband? In your dreams perhaps and gosh, does Jennifer have one tasty delicious ass!”

“I know, right!”



That sparked a long conversation about Jennifer. Rick let her vent and also learned things about his sister in law that he never knew. Some were sad, some were infuriating, some were happiness inducing and some were unexpected.



“You tell her to put a ring on her, you hear me?”

“Yes, yes, I’ll tell her.”

“Good. Now, do the same with Jane and Ash.”

“Hmm?”

“Marry them, you dolt!”

“You want me to... but we’re...”

“Death did us part, darling.” she reminded him.

“...You got back with an ex-boyfriend, didn’t you? I’m going to murder them...” he asked suspiciously and got slapped in the face in return.

“As if any of them could compare to you. No, I’m not seeing anyone, I’m just waiting for you.”

“You won’t have to wait if...”

“You. Are going. Back.”

“Alright, alright. Jesus...” he surrendered quickly. “Are you sure you’re okay with it?”

“Yes. Bringing Ashley not only into our bed but into our marital life had always been my plan. Now... well... I may not be with the both of you anymore, it doesn’t mean I don’t wish to see the two of you together. Besides, she deserves it, after sticking with you no matter what. You and your stupidity.”

“You got a point. Jane? How do you know... you met her when she was dead.” he said as a matter of fact when the thought suddenly crossed his mind.

“I did. Or rather we did, Samara and I. She had very specific chosen words for you, especially when I told her you were her brother. None were suitable for children’s ears.”

“I figured. How come she didn’t remember meeting you? How will I remember when she didn’t?”

“Sorry, rules. Let’s say that... Defeating the Reapers got you one or two favors or perhaps it’s because your brain was intact when you died, unlike Jane. Does it really matter though?”

“No... I guess not. Is there anything else?”

“Plenty.” she replied and proceeded to give him messages to a handful of people. Some were serious, some were jokes.

“Really? You want me to father a child with your own sister, the sister you want to be married to Miranda?”

“YES!” she exclaimed very enthusiastically.

“You’re mad, you know that? There is no way she’d believe me if I told her that.”

“Yes, I’m mad and yes, she probably won’t believe you, but tell her nonetheless.”

“Okay, I will. Anything else?” not bothering to fight his wife when he knew he wouldn’t win.

“Yes. Be happy, darling.” she said in a soft and loving voice. “Move on. For me.”

“You know I can’t do that.” he replied with pain in his tone.

“I’m not asking you to forget about me or stop loving me. I’m asking you to accept that I’m gone from your life. And your life only. You’re still mine once you’re dead!” she added the end with ferocity making him clearly understand that it was a fact and not an option.

“Good. I’ll... I’ll do it. It won’t be easy. I still have to accept that I’m not to blame for you and Samara but... I will, I promise you.”

“Thank you.” she said with a thankful smile.

“Now what? How do I get back?”

“Oh, that’s the easy part. You just need to...”



Not finishing her sentence, she broke a bottle of beer on his head, coming out of nowhere, knocking him out which made him fade away.



“Lighthouse?” Hannah asked.

“It’s the darkest at the foot of the lighthouse because its light never reaches there.” explained her son.

“I did not think of any of that when I came to the conclusion that I was your bait. I just... suddenly noticed that every time I confronted a Reaper or TIM they were only seeing me when you were just right there, by my side and way more dangerous than I ever was.”

“That’s both right and wrong. You are dangerous on your own and could have won the war without me but not with the best results. And I’m more dangerous, true, but only because you were there. Without your charisma I wouldn’t have been able to do much on my own. TIM’s mistake was his arrogance, thinking he was the smartest and held all the cards. Every time we interacted in contact in the war, the first thing he said was...?”

“That it wouldn’t work.” replied Jane.

“What wouldn’t work?” Hackett asked.

“Me hacking the transmission and making him listen to Mordin’s singing.”

“Each time you failed but that wasn’t true, was it?” Jane voiced her thoughts.

“No.”

“That was a play on your part, making him overconfident and really driving home that he was the smartest around and that no one could stop him.”

“Yes but more than that, it was really indicative of his personality, something I had no clue about. Remember, Mars was actually the second time I saw the man and the first time we exchanged words. So far I only knew him from what you said to me, and his actions but I was missing a lot. The fact that every time the first thing he did was rubbing in my face my failure and his success, told me that he was prideful and petty. And these kinds of people are easy to deal with. That’s when I knew he would never find out what I’ve been doing because he had already discarded the notion that I was a real threat to him and his plan.



From then on, I had the confirmation that he wasn’t a threat to me and my idea which was a relief because so far he was the only one that could have warned the Reapers about my existence since he was indoctrinated. That would have been really disastrous because those idiots only knew of you, Jane. After all, you were an anomaly that they had never encountered in billions of years.The odds of something like you existing was astronomical to them and they probably couldn’t believe it. So a second? At the same time? It was out of their calculations, it never crossed their minds. That was their mistake and that further made you shine and hid me. From the very moment they set their eyes on you and no one else they were at a serious disadvantage. Without you I wouldn’t have been able to do a thing. You were the most dangerous bait ever.”

“But I died. Didn’t that put a wrench in whatever your plan was?”

“Yes. Since you were dead I had to find something else to deal with while being under the radar and not being suspicious.”

“Project Safeguard.” Anderson stated.

“Yes. In fact, the moment the bunkers were closed, I won against the Reapers. I didn’t have to fight in the war. They wouldn’t have survived the next cycle as unlike the prothean, the project was implemented before the reapers came. They wouldn’t have known and there wouldn’t have been a repeat of Javik or the other protheans on Ilos, since unlike the protheans I had roughly a good estimate on how long the reapers would stay in the galaxy.”

“Why did you fight then?” inquired Steven.

“Because I got emotional. Because I wanted revenge with my own hands. Because I wanted to beat the greatest challenge the Galaxy has ever had, that no one ever did. Because I wanted the Reapers to know that they may have been billions of years old AI, but that I was above them and that they were nothing more than a defective product.”

“That’s not all, isn’t it?” Jane asked as he wasn’t saying anything more.

“Yes but the rest is not that important.” he replied in a tone indicating that he would not pursue that subject further.

“Fine. In conclusion you used me as bait from almost the very beginning, at first for Saren then for the Reapers, so you could do your magic, outsmart them and beat them. Okay... I can live with that. I’m not happy that my own brother used me as bait but I can live with that.”

“To be fair I wasn’t seeing you in the best of light at the time. And don’t patronize me about using you as bait when you used Joker that way against your clone. Finally you were not the only one I used to hide myself so don’t feel too bad about it.”

“Who else?” asked Anderson.

“You.”

“ME?!”

“And the Alliance. Did you think I wouldn’t have known you would test my blood to find out my identity after the fight against Saren? Especially when it was obvious that I was a dangerous unknown to the alliance and that you ordered Jane to get information out of me?”

“You knew all this time?!”

“Of course. Our conversion during my convalescence in 85 was kind of a play. I didn’t expect it to ever happen but just in case I covered my ass. I wanted to see who you were trusting and who among those people would be useful.” Rick explained looking at Hackett.

“Who I was trusting? Not what I would do with that information?”

“No, I already knew that. You’re a soldier, a smart one and a good person. You wouldn’t have made the information public or spread it discreetly for the reasons you said when you told me you knew.”

“How did you know I was aware?” asked Steven.

“Because of your body language, the both of you, when we met for the thermal clip presentation. You kept looking at me a little too long, Steven. I also confirmed at that moment that neither of those two knew, making it likely that you would have done everything possible to indirectly protect me if needed or at the very least, leaving me alone.” finished Rick leaving the two men speechless.



Satisfied with the answer she got, Jane changed subject and asked a question that had been plaguing her more than her potentially being a bait.



“I have another topic I need answers to. You told me once that you were good at math but not that good.”

“I remember. Though I was being humble when I said that. There are many people better at math than I am but not many.”

“Yet in three days you were able to make the conduit work from the Citadel to Ilos.. The way I see it is that it’s impossible. You must have begun working on it long before. That means that you knew way earlier that the Citadel was the Catalyst.” she accused.

“““WHAT?!”””

“You knew?!” Hackett said in outrage but got ignored.

“You’re correct.” replied Rick to Jane.

“What’s wrong with that picture is that you never had the time to work on that and I’m guessing here but neither the mathematical knowledge to make it possible.”

“You’re right on all accounts.”

“That means you needed someone with that knowledge and more than that, a real mathematical genius since all experts failed to do what you did. Since you’re not much of a social person, finding such a genius would have proven difficult until I remembered that you knew one. David Archer. You asked him, didn’t you?”

“I did. The moment we arrived with the students on the Citadel I procured everything on the relay monument and gave it to him. I made him promise to keep it a secret since it may have been necessary for winning.”

“That was almost three months after the beginning of the invasion! Why didn’t you say anything?!” Hannah shouted.

“And when did you find out?” insisted Jane.

“If you want to fool your enemies, fool your allies first. I found out what the Catalyst was the day after we left Mars. The same way I said I did when I was on the station by taking a look at the Crucible and realizing that only the Citadel would fit the structure perfectly. As for why I didn’t say anything... I need a moment to think about it...” Rick replied pensively.

““You don’t know?!”” Hannah and Hackett exclaimed with the latter standing up from his chair in anger.

“Oh I know. There are just many reasons and the explanations for each are interconnected so I need a moment to think about how to say it so it would make sense to you. Now be quiet.”

“...”



No one said anything and Hackett sat back down. They waited a few minutes in silence, sending glances at each other and having a talk with their eyes.



“Okay... I got it. Let’s start with... For everyone in charge in the Galaxy... Their only thought was winning. The only exception being TIM and Me. We thought about after the war; its aftermath. TIM of course, wanted Humanity’s supremacy with him in charge, pulling the strings from behind the scene.”

“Something you didn’t agree with for reasons you stated earlier.” said Anderson.

“Yes, though, the idea of having that indoctrinated asshole stand above me when he was a complete dumbass was... Yeah, let’s not talk about that. Anyway, what I wanted was for what we have today. A galaxy still united and still working together despite the non-existence of a common enemy to band against. That was my objective after I saw Jane do that on the SSV. The problem that I was confronted with was... The people in charge were fucking self serving retarded bastards. The condescending Matriarchs, a not-knowing-her-damn-place Dalatrass and of course the motherfucking Alliance Parliament. I have to tip my hat to the Reapers, they did me a favor by destroying Arcturus.”

“More than fifty thousand people died!” protested Hackett.

“Yes, so? It’s war, people die. Furthermore they were the assholes that disregarded Jane and I’s warning about the reapers and the reason why humanity was not ready in the first place. Most of them got what they fucking deserved. Make no mistake, a politician is a person that has no talents or skills to be actually useful to society. Of course there are exceptions, there always is or are but that’s not the point. The point is, with them gone, you were more or less in charge. You want to know what they would have done had they lived? They would have bickered among themselves, some would have even sold their family to the reapers directly or indirectly by joining Cerberus. Just take a look at Udina, he was the perfect cliché of a politician. But you don’t need me to point it out. The three of you know it from first hand experience after all.”



Hackett couldn’t refute that. Nor could Hannah and Anderson who have been humanity’s councilors.



“I don’t see how that explains why...” Jane began but was interrupted by her brother.

“I'm coming to it! Geez! As I was saying before, I wanted the best outcome for the galaxy after the war. To do so, I quickly realized that the only way was to keep the information about the catalyst to myself alone. After all, a crucible can be built as many times as needed. The Citadel? There is only one. Between the indoctrination and Cerberus’ moles, we would have lost faster than a human politician can beg the council for help. The Reapers would have taken the Citadel immediately and bye bye our survival. If more than one person knows a secret it’s not a secret anymore, it’s information. I could not risk it. There was no point anyway since the crucible wasn’t built yet. And even if it was, that would have gone against my plan. Humanity would have killed the Reapers and some new greedy politicians would have used that to gain more power over the other species. From there there were many possibilities. The main one was, the other species uniting against humanity. With Cerberus still in place, you can bet your ass they would have salvaged any Reaper tech around and create trouble. We would have become the new reapers, the new enemy to fight and exterminate, meaning war would have continued and millions more lives would have been lost.”

“Millions of lives that were lost could have been saved!” shouted Jane in resentment and disbelief.

“It was necessary! For a brighter future for every species, not just humanity. Things needed to change or we would have gone back to the way things were before the invasion. I couldn’t let that happen. Cerberus needed to be dealt with properly too.”

“Thessia would not have fallen!”

“Again, it was necessary. The matriarchs needed to go and the Asari needed to lose the advantage of the beacon and lose their supremacy on the galactic scale. They were the biggest obstacle and self-centered. It was the only database that we know of that had the information on the catalyst and those bitches sat on it until their homeworld was attacked. Why do you think they kept quiet, huh? Because they were so arrogant that they believed they could deal with the reapers themselves and because of that arrogance, saw the opportunity to stay on top of everyone else. All thanks to the beacon. With Aethyta in charge the Asari entered the coalition humbled and ready to work with everyone in actions and not just words like they have done for thousands of years because they didn’t have any other choice without the beacon. Now the galaxy is united not because of a common enemy but because of the fight itself of what they went through. There is a saying, ‘it’s on the battlefield that you find your true friends.’ Through pain, grief, and loss, people from different species got closer than ever. They created real bonds that they won’t want to sever anytime soon. Time was needed for the species to get closer. Had the asari joined from the beginning we would have won sooner. Time was also needed to put an end to Cerberus. We couldn’t go into this new age with them around, everything would have fallen apart otherwise. Now? Now we all have a chance to do better, to make sure that no more war happens any time soon, not when most past enmities, past grudges and past wounds have been put to rest, saving even more lives in the long term than the number of lives lost because I didn’t say anything.”



That quieted Jane down but Rick wasn’t done with his explanations.



“For the plan to work, all species needed to be gathered to fight together in one place. Rallying the Turians was easy, war is in their blood, it was obvious for them they would need help. The alliance was the second biggest military in the galaxy so humanity was the obvious choice. Then there were the Krogans. Like I told you, they wanted a cure to the genophage that the Turians agreed to give without thinking twice about it. The problem as expected was the Salarians. You did your job splendidly by recruiting the STG without even knowing it while I took care of Linron who was only after her own self interest first then her people. While you brokered peace between geths and Quarian, I made sure to remove Gerel whose only goal was vengeance against the Geths and put Koris in place who was interested in peace and cooperation. Finally with Thessia falling, Aethyta took control, her too, ready to join the fight and cooperate because she understood despite her belief that the Asari should be independent, that working with others species was necessary. I removed every single obstacle in the way of peace, preparing to make the alliance that you worked so hard to make into something more. If you take a minute to think about it you will see that for the first time ever every species in the galaxy is currently led by someone open to interspecies cooperation without any exception. There is no dissident that could create trouble and break everything apart, like a falling domino pushing down another. Now of the most represented species, everyone is on an equal standing and there is no force big enough to change that, only consolidation of this unity is possible. Yes, sacrifices had to be made for that to happen but it was war, sacrifices are bound to happen. Sacrifices were necessary. Now... the odds of losing the people we love because of war is almost nonexistent.”

“Who gave you the right to decide?” Anderson asked calmly.

“No one has the right to make that decision, no one should make that decision but it was needed. It’s not the right question that needs to be asked though.” replied Rick.

“And which is the right one?” inquired Hackett.

“Who doesn’t have the right to make that choice.” Hannah said in almost a whisper, receiving a look from the others on her side of the table as she looked at her son and. She understood his point and she understood where he was going with his line of thought and most importantly, she completely agreed with him.

“Yes. That’s the right question. By process of elimination I... I only found one candidate.”

““You.”” Hackett and Anderson stated.

“You didn’t consider yourself part of humanity, nor any other species hence you were an outsider so you saw with a unique perspective the situation. You were the only one who saw the whole thing, not only the war but before and after it as an observer. That’s why you thought that you were the only one that could make that decision.” the older redhead explained.

“Yes. I wish there had been someone else, I would have gladly let them decide...”

“But you found none...”

“No. I saw no one that could see how things were about to play out. And even if I did, they may not have had the right mindset to make the decision.” he said and included his head looking at his hands in his lap.

“You did well. I’m proud of you.”

““Hannah!”” shouted the two older men in protest.

“It’s not the first time that such a thing has happened in war.” the older redhead defended.

“True. The most notorious exemple is World War II where the British had cracked the code used by the Nazis to communicate orders. Unfortunately the allies were not ready to fight back yet, so they let many ships get attacked and sunk to not alert the enemy that their code was not secure anymore and find a new one.”



That piece of information placated the two older men. That was one of the harsh realities of war, you don’t give up an advantage, no matter the cost.



“You told me once that if you can’t look at yourself in the mirror after doing something then maybe it wasn’t worth doing. Can you look at yourself now?” Jane asked and Rick simply laughed at her question. “There is nothing to laugh about!”

“There is.” her brother said standing up. “Anderson, do you remember the gist of what I said in the elevator when we saw the relay monument activate?”

“You were frustrated that you outsmarted Saren and Sovereign, something that no one else did but that you missed the obvious, that is, that the relay monument was an actual relay.”

“Yes. I’m laughing because well... because we’re not siblings for nothing. You found out what no one else did yet failed to see what has been in front of you all along.”

“And that is?” his sister asked with a frown.

“Oh, Jane... The last time I was able to look at myself in the mirror was on the morning of the 3rd of June 83. Whatever I did after that didn’t really matter anymore.”



With those words, Rick walked toward the door and left, leaving behind a stunned Jane and three confused Admirals.



“Jane, what did he mean?” Hannah asked.

“What did he do that day besides meeting you and killing geths? Was it because of the beacon?” Anderson inquired.

“That day... he killed his wife and daughter.” the Commander replied without being able to look at anyone, preparing herself to tell the tale she had heard after Rick’s failed suicide attempt.

“““He did what?!”””

“The geths... They caught his pregnant wife and put her on a dragon tooth. He arrived too late to save her but not too late that she was fully turned into a husk, at least in appearance. When he got her down... from what I understand her mind had already been taken over and with the wound in her chest... He put her down with his hunting rifle.”

“Dear god.” commented Anderson while Hannah simply gasped with a hand in front of her mouth.

“Then... His daughter burst out from Analysse’s womb. From his description she was half-Husk, half-Human. He put her down too.” she said, finishing the tale then stood up and left too.



The silence in the room was heavy. Losing a loved one was an experience that each of them knew. It was a heart wrenching experience that they wished they had never had known but that what life. People are born and people die. But killing your own loved ones? That wasn’t an experience they knew and in a deep part of their mind, they were glad to not know. They couldn’t even begin to phantom the effects that had on him.



“No wonder he left millions of strangers to die to reach his goal. There was no crushing guilt to pile on after that experience.” commented Hackett.

“He made the right choice. I would have done the same and his situation.” Hannah said.

“Of course you would have.”

“If the deaths of a few millions people is the price to pay for the chance at real peace and prosperity, there is nothing to think and hesitate about.” the redhead replied and followed her children out the door.

“I can’t believe I’m about to say this but...” Hackett began.

“They’re both right.”

“I wonder... Am I angry because he took such unilateral decisions alone or because he was the only one that could have taken them. No matter how I spin it...He did get the best outcome for the galaxy as a whole.” said Steven then emptied his drink in one go and served himself another.

“I don’t know, can’t really help you with that. However he’s right, we have a chance at something that we never had before. Let’s make sure we don’t waste it.”

“Amen to that.”



The two men toasted and went bottoms up with their glass.



“You get all the luck. Out of the three Shepard, I had to deal with the two troublesome ones while you got the nice one.”

“I had to deal with him too and I didn’t have any problem now that I think about it.”

“Well, I hope you enjoyed it because that time may be over. He’s going to be your brother in law after all.” Hackett smirked.

“Oh, Jesus...”

“Still... We severely underestimated him. To think he has been working alone for three years to get where we are now... That he used us.. His own sister, the whole galaxy... Ugh...”

“We’re damn lucky he’s an altruist and not another Illusive Man.”

“Altruist? After every credit he took from the alliance? And the credits he will take with everything he invented during the war?”

“You know he’s not after the money.”

“That beg to ask, what will he do with it?”

“Hmm... I don’t know but... probably use it to make sure everyone’s hard work and sacrifice was worth it. Perhaps invest it in the company he created?”

“Let’s hope. I’m not going to lie David but the simple fact that someone that smart exists, makes me uneasy. Hell, I’ll say it, it terrifies me.”

“I see what you mean. I would be too if I didn’t know for sure that he wouldn’t do anything too nefarious.”

“How do you know that?”



Anderson didn’t answer with words and simply gave Hackett a knowing grin.





____________________________________________________________





After asking around the personnel on the floor, Jane found him on the roof, looking at the horizon. The conversation had been eye opening to her and she felt like she understood him more than she ever did. She had sacrificed three hundred thousand Batarians to delay the invasion for six months and while she felt guilty about it, she knew it had been for the best. It had been difficult at first to see her own reflection in a mirror but with time it became less and less so. On the other hand, her brother still couldn’t. She understood why but she had never really realized the implications. Now, she knew. His guilt was already overwhelming, a bit more wouldn’t have changed a thing. After all, if he killed the two people he loved the most, millions of strangers would not affect him much more. To Jane, they weren’t her sister in law and niece anymore. No, the moment they were put on that dragon tooth, they were gone. To Rick, however, that wasn’t the case. He only saw his failure to protect them, to save them.

She wondered if he had lied to her about his plans for after the war. Living in a remote place, far from everything. Was it a lie he told her to give her something more to fight for? Did he lie to her when he said that he would not try to take his life again? She needed to know. That’s why she walked towards him, silently. Only stopping once she was right behind him.



“Did you lie to me back then? When I asked you what you were going to do after the war?”

“... No. I meant every word I said, you know I don’t lie.”

“You do. If you think it’s necessary. By twisting the truth, omitting things... How can I know you didn’t go one step further and outright lied to me?”

“I would say because I promised but after what we just talked about downstairs, it’s pointless. You’ll have to trust me.”

“I want to. If I had been alone I would have without hesitation but I’m not.”

“What do you mean?” he asked and finally turned around to look at her.

“I don’t want Arianna to know you if at the end of the day you lied. I can't take that risk anymore, not for her, no matter how much I love you.”

“Arianna?”

“Our baby girl.” Jane simply said and used her omni-tool to display a picture of a cute little baby, with tufts of bright red hair and very familiar blue eyes.

“Our... She’s... How?!” Rick exclaimed, dumbfounded.

“Our time together on the Citadel, after we dealt with my clone.”

“Were you not...”

“Protected? No. Ever since Miranda brought me back... well... I haven't been on anything. Didn’t see the point and the one night stand I had, I made him use a condom. That’s after that disastrous date that I realized that I loved you as Rick and since I didn’t want anyone else and that I was busy with the reapers, I never paid attention and didn’t really have the need. That I didn’t end up pregnant that night before going through the omega-4 relay was pure luck.”

“She’s beautiful.” he said, looking intently at the picture.

“She is but more importantly she needs her father. A father that will stay with her for good and not just to... disappear on her. I’d prefer to be a single mom.”

“I told you I won’t. Now more than ever. I won’t let you raise our baby girl alone, even if I don’t think I’m fit for it.”

“You are! It wasn’t your fault! It was outside your control!”

“I know. I just... It hasn’t registered yet.”

“Then you better register it soon because I don’t want to raise her alone but I will if I have to. She’s my whole world! She is what kept me going when you died. The simple thought that I still had a piece of you with me, that was enough to keep me alive.”

“Jane, are you saying that...” he asked in shock at what he understood of Jane's implication.

“Yes. I understood first hand how you felt back on Eden Prime and I’m not sure that I wouldn't have made the same choice without her. I was so tired, so done with everything. When you disappeared, work and hope kept me going but after the last three years? After dying and coming back to fight the Reapers? I had nothing but you. Nothing but the dream of being with you and then... you were gone. I had nothing so what was the point of going on?” she confessed as she grabbed his coat letting her head rest on his chest and tears fell down her cheeks.



He embraced her in a loving hug and stayed silent for a while. None of them knew how long it lasted but it didn’t matter. They found support in each other. That mattered.



“I’m not going anywhere without the two of you.” he said as he leaned back and looked into her eyes.

“Good. Because I’m on the verge of going crazy, she’s three months old and already a terror.” she said in a watery smile.

“... Can I take back my decision?” he joked back with a grin on his face.

“No.” she chuckled.

“Come back when she’s older, like... six? Or eighteen? Right after puberty! That’s a good plan!”

“No take back.”

“Can’t believe I got baby trapped.”

“You know what? Go. I don’t care. Mom will be there to...” she taunted and got the answer she wanted.

“HELL NO! Me alive that woman is not approaching our baby girl closer than a cluster away.” he replied making Jane laugh heartily aloud.

“I’m not that bad of a grandmother!”



Rick looked up behind Jane, who turned around. Both faced their incoming mother who had a frown on her face. They knew it was an act.



“I may not have ever been mother of the year...”

“Understatement.” Rick said and got an elbow in the gut from his sister.

“But I will be grandmother of the year, every year until the day I die.”

“It’s not like the competition is hard. I mean... mom is... what she is.” he confessed then turned to Jane. “Did you have to name her Arianna? Aria would have been more than fine!”

“She’s been very helpful and supportive so yes. More than Aria was though, to be fair she was stuck on Ilos then Omega.”

“What do you mean?”

“The use of crucible damaged the Mass Relays. Not badly but bad enough that it took months to fix them and there are still some left needing a good repair. The Relay to Ilos has been running since... a month ago, I think?”

“Are you saying that she was stuck on Ilos for nearly a year?” he asked for confirmation with mirth in his voice.

“Yes.”

“Oh~~ This is... precious.” he laughed and immediately stopped, his body freezing when he was hugged by his mother. “What are you doing?”

“Hugging my son for the first time in twenty two years.”

“Who told you...”

“I don’t care, I’m hugging you.”

“Your funeral.” he threatened but did nothing, not even moving an inch.

“I doubt that. Not after you died to save my life.”

“I did no such thing. Are you high? Is she high?” he asked Jane who was containing her smile and simply shook her head negatively.



Hannah hugged him tight as if she feared that she would lose him if she let him go.



“I hate you.”

“I know.”

“You hurt me.”

“I know.”

“So much.”

“I. Know.”



Everytime she answered she hugged him even tighter.



“I’m sorry. I... I was afraid. I had the most wonderful baby boy in the whole galaxy and I was afraid of what he was, of what he could do. I couldn’t understand because I was so stupid. But I’m not anymore, I learned and I... I want to be part of your life, like it was supposed to be. Not through Jane’s, not through Arianna’s but actually be in yours. I know I have no right, I know it’s selfish of me but...”

“You’re only doing this to appease your guilt.”

“No. There is no forgiveness for what I did. Even if you do forgive me, I will never forgive myself. The only thing I can do is shoulder the guilt and do my best to move forward. To make amends with you, no matter what the result is.”

“You don’t even know my birthday.”

“Of course I know, I just didn’t see how it was related to the start of the war. You said June, not the third of June.”

“...”



Rick looked at Jane for an answer to give to their mother. The young mother said nothing and stood straight like a statue, expressionless. Only, her eyes betrayed an emotion. Hope. Remembering his conversation with Analysse, he made his choice. Sighing, Rick finally relented. He put his arms around his mother, not in a hug but a light embrace.



“You have one chance.”

“Yes!”

“You screw up...”

“Yes!”

“And they’ll never find...”

“Yes!”

“Your body.”

“YES! I won’t! I promise you, I won’t! Thank you!” Hannah yelled in joy and buried her head into his chest.

“You’re lucky Jane and Annalysse worked on me.”

““Analysse?”” both redheads asked with eyebrows raised, the older one leaning back to look at his face.

“Looooong story.”