Chapter 43: Good Boy
"The constellations... were all watching this place..."
The Hero muttered as our group of five hid behind the remains of a broken establishment, peering at the fence and the barrier that was double reinforced with fresh, walking talking human bone and flesh.
Also called zombies and undead.
Of course, with something this amazing going on, anyone would be more interested here. Unlike with me, any place with more than 2 people that lacked a tyrant was bound for drama.
And drama sold best.
"Why are they even called constellations?" asked Alice. "What does that mean?"
"Constellations. Noun." The cat began its spiel. "An area on the celestial sphere in which a group—"
[The Strongest Dragon God System informs that it was the closest word in your language.]
"Closest word? Which motherfucker is using constellation to refer to some kind of god? I have never seen it in my life."
"It was in a lot of novels..."
[It was in a lot of novels...]
I glared at both the loser system and the loser hero. They both shrunk back.
God damned novelists at it again. The undisputed scum of society. The Venn diagram between Disc-cord mods and novelists would definitely be a single circle.
"Enough about that," Alice said. "Aren't we going to go in and take their necks?"
"Necks?" The Hero asked, slightly surprised. "Weren't we planning not to kill anyone?"
Murder would be helping the Apocalypse Keeper, so I was against it.
"What do you suggest?"
"I think we should try to get involved with them like normal people. If we ask for refuge they might help us?"
I looked back and saw a small pickup along with two other SUVs making their way toward the settlement.
A weakling cosplay. I guess I could give it a try.
***
If I was doing cosplay, I was doing it right.
Weakling cosplay, running into a settlement, it had to be done in a very special way.
So, the first thing to do while the pickup and the cars made their way to the fence was to find an enemy.
"Mister, there's a bunch of zombies here."
"Nope. Zombies are not fun."
"Sir, I found some skeletons."
"Not skeletons. They might die while chasing us."
We were trying to find the perfect enemy to use as a smokescreen when we would rush to the settlement. Just going inside was calling for suspicion, was it not?
"Pipooo!" The slime called.
"A hound? From the first scenario?"
My eyes widened. I thought all of them were already dead, but there were still a few of them left.
I followed the slime to the side of another building. Standing tall in an alleyway, with dozens of corpses of zombies and skeletons lying all around it, stood a majestic hound.
Its eyes were gleaming with a murderous intent unlike any other, even the cat trembled as it saw the hound.
Alice and Relafan, who had caught up, all frowned at the sight of the hound.
"It reminds me of the Kobold Cartel..." said Alice. nOvE)lb-1n
"I am surprised, you are pretty good at judging your enemies."
Alice shrugged while Relafan nodded.
That guy. It was perfect.
"Wait here," I said as I lunged over the ridge of the building and jumped straight down.
My feet slammed into the alleyway. A cloud of dust rose.
The stench was as ungodly as ever.
"AWOOOGH!!" The hound howled out loud as soon as it saw me. Its eyes flared up with great fire.
It flashed its teeth as if asking how I could dare to show myself in front of it.
The hound was the apex predator that had formed this mountain of corpses. I had no word against it.
Or so it seemed to be thinking. What a cute puppy.
The cute puppy lunged at me, playfully trying to lick my bones.
I smiled and patted its head, asking it who's a good boy.
The puppy melted into the ground. When I tickled it with my foot, it started showing its tummy and pranced around. If someone else saw it, they would think it was in great pain.
They would also think I had smashed its skull and kicked its ribs in.
But I knew it just wanted some belly rubs.
"Who's a good boy? Who is?"
"AWOOO! AWWOOO!"
The puppy coughed and caved, tears of joy overflowing from its eyes.
I raised it up and stared at the rest of them still watching from the building.
"See? Dogs are smart animals."
Their eyes seemed to be saying that this was the worst way to interpret the case. But they were just prudes.
"Isn't that right, puppy?"
The puppy excitedly nodded, still crying and howling in joy.
"Now listen, puppy."
"Awwoo?"
"If you don't want more head pats then, chase us into the fence. Ok?"
"AWOO!" The puppy nodded with great vigor. What a good boy.
"Was he always like this?"
"Take a hike."
Relafan and Alice continued their misunderstanding. How I pity them, they would soon know the bond between dogs and humans.
And so began our operation.
The puppy growled and screamed, its voice more genuine than ever.
With Relafan, Alice and Cat in the lead and I at the back, we rushed behind the fence that had just opened to let the cars inside while the dog chased us.
"Help!!" Relafan screamed. "Someone, please! Help!!"