Chapter 82: Have Faith 1

Chapter 82: Have Faith 1

Zarian was in another dream, but more nightmarish than usual. Sinfeast was back, and Zarian had both hands wrapped tight around the deplorable god’s neck. He squeezed his grip and shook the god back and forth, smashing the back of the evil god’s head against the alleyway wall.

Blurry vehicles passed by on the street outside the alley, like a moving pastel picture of the urban sprawl Zarian knew as a beggar back in the old world. Blurry figures walked by in a hurry. Nobody cared about Zarian strangling a horrific, vile, invasive, and wicked god.

Nobody cared that Zarian was losing.

The evil god had no recognizable features that denounced him as man or woman. Sometimes he was more of a wolf. Sometimes he was more of a fox. He switched between being plain and fleshy to bestial and furry, and sometimes something in the middle.

But no matter what, Zarian could tell it was Sinfeast by the stupid, lecherous smile on the evil god’s face. And no matter how much Zarian throttled the sinful god by the neck, it felt like Zarian was getting throttled and hurt even more so.

Zarian bashed the god’s head into the alley wall again. In return, Zarian felt a hard knock against the back of his head and nearly fell over. Remaining on top, Zarian squeezed his grip on the god’s throat even tighter and kept throttling Sinfeast. In return, terrible bruise marks darkened around Zarian’s neck.

Zarian couldn’t breathe, but he kept strangling and shaking Sinfeast. The god laughed, licked his lips, and blew kisses at him, infuriating Zarian even further. Zarian couldn’t stop himself from committing outright violence, and Sinfeast enjoyed every moment.

The god even talked. “Hurt me more, daddy, hurt me more!”

Zarian wanted to growl, but he couldn’t because of the force around his throat. He was feeling weaker, more drained. He felt like he was the one being put down violently.

Then a new and more prominent presence made herself known.

“You insignificant tick. You dare trespass on what’s mine? You have no idea what you’re desecrating!”

Ariana walked into the scene with a stride that was dominant and angry. She still looked like a four year old dressed in her Sunday best. Her pearly white shoes and sparkly dress shone perfectly in the blurry dream alleyway. But for a moment, she exuded a presence that was larger, more imposing, more monstrous.

Still, Zarian couldn’t help but see her as his adorable little sister. She shouldn’t be here in the presence of this ugly violence, especially with something like Sinfeast near.

But the way she spoke and moved said otherwise.

And the way Sinfeast locked up like a deer stuck in headlights was even more telling.

“The next time I wake. Perhaps I will destroy you forever,” Ariana growled.

The evil god stopped smiling. His amorphous features solidified into a wolfish, hairless man. Horror shone fully through the god’s face, his entire features becoming pale.

He was screaming when Ariana flicked her finger into his face and sent him away, straight out of Zarian’s dreams. With the horrid god gone, Zarian collapsed to his side, worn out and depleted.

He really wasn’t going to get much rest, was he?

“I’m going to be Sinfeast’s biggest hater,” Zarian announced. “Nobody will hate Sinfeast more than me.”

Ariana slowly nodded, with a scowl on her young and adorable face. “I harbor plenty of hate as well, Big Bro. We can be haters together.”

“I’m the number one hater, though.”

“I’ll be glad to be your number two.”

Good, good, that felt proper. Zarian reached over and patted Ariana’s leg weakly. “Thanks.”

Ariana crouched down to rub her little hand over his shoulder. The gesture made him feel better.

“I should apologize for not being here sooner,” Ariana said.

“No apology needed.”

“Still, I’m sorry, Big Bro.” Ariana grumbled as four-year-olds would before saying, “Sinfeast is quite a tricky pest. You’ve harmed him and embarrassed him in front of all the evil gods, weakening his position. He will have a vendetta against you, and despite what you did with his altar, he has you marked.”

“Oh, nice, we’ll be dreaming of each other from now on. This universe can only handle two freaks of nature, and I’m the better freak.”

“He won’t bother your dreams. I’ll make sure of that. But he’ll try to invade you in other ways when you least expect it. Beware of anyone who tries to evoke him or use a symbol of Sinfeast. Stay away from his altars unless you’re prepared.”

He nodded along to her wise advice, appreciating every bit. Still, he couldn’t see himself turning away from any opportunity to kick Sinfeast and his followers in the crotch if the chance showed itself.

“When I hate, I’ll make sure my hatred wins.” Zarian pushed up into a seat against the alley wall.

He reached over and pulled Ariana into him, hugging her close. She settled in a seat next to him. She felt warm. She felt real.

“What are you?” Zarian asked.

“Something powerful,” she answered.

“You’re still Ariana Darkrun, right? Of course you are. You’re my little sister.”

She chuckled softly. “Yes, I’m Ariana Darkrun. I’m your little sister. Though you might not be happy with the truth of my full identity. I’m glad Luciana didn’t tell you. I’m not ready just yet.”

Zarian didn’t push. At least she reconfirmed she was what she said she was, which rang true to him. She was part of the Darkrun family.

Clearly, she was a more powerful member of the Darkrun Family. He felt like the truth of their origins would come out on its own. Just had to wait for it.

Zarian gripped her gently by her chin and tilted her face up. He looked long into her eyes. He caught traces of curiosity, stress, uncertainty, and many more things hidden behind that youthful facade.

It seemed to Zarian that Ariana had a lot on her plate. If she was truly powerful, then that meant she had plenty of responsibilities.

“Again, thanks for your help.” He released her chin and patted her head. “I really just wanted to rest.”

“You deserve it.” She sounded happy. “You’ve done incredible things. I’ve been watching. I’m very impressed.”

“Did I break the thing you wanted?”

“Not yet.”

“Dammit,” Zarian groaned.

Ariana giggled. “Why are you disappointed? If you adventure and ascend up into the next worlds above, you’ll expand your existence and longevity. We have nothing but time with your incredible upward trajectory.”

“Yeah, well, I can’t really think of the future when I’m constantly tackling amazing things left and right. And despite all of that, I’m still clueless about your whole shtick about me being the only Honored Outsider. Can you blame me for feeling crazy over it?”

Zarian was pulled out of his thoughts when Naomi lost control of Aura Ignition. Her body tore apart in a couple of places. She collapsed to the ground, soaked in blood and sweat, clearly in pain.

Seeing that worried Zarian deeply. He forgot he was still dreaming and tried to rush into the viewing bubble, but the bubble pushed away until he stopped.

Ariana remained beside him without taking a single step somehow.

Together, the Darkrun brother and sister watched as Naomi rolled over onto her back and laughed. The woman was insane. Despite her wounds, she was enjoying herself. She achieved something a mortal woman like her should’ve failed. Instead, she survived.

Zarian shook his head at her. Then an errant thought struck him.

Wait, did she get advice from Arnold before she tried that on her own?

What if she hadn’t?

“Oh, so that’s how it feels when someone you care about does stupid stuff.”

Zarian huffed in anger. He was tempted to grab Naomi and shake her around while giving her a Marine-style ass chewing. Granted, he would be a hypocrite. But at least it would feel good to give her the shaking and yelling.

“Ugh, it sucks to get shown the other side of the coin.”

Ariana was watching him now, clearly amused. “You’ve proven me wrong.”

“Did I?”

Ariana waved toward the bubble with Naomi.

Gilbert, Bianca, and Hannah were rushing into the room. A few seconds later, Arnold was there while holding a hot pan of food.

Was the White Rose cooking something in the kitchen for the charity? Was that happening already? Now that Zarian was paying closer attention to key details, he noticed everybody was dressed in more casual clothing

Zarian couldn’t hear the conversation that ensued, but it looked like Arnold was confirming some details and admonishing Naomi in equal measure. That gave Zarian a better measure of the situation either way. Arnold had given Naomi advice on Aura Ignition, and she went off to figure out the rest.

Ugh, I’ll let her off the hook for this one.

Thankfully, she had the divine medallion that gave her a free revival once a week. That woman needed it. She was just as big of a death-facing thrill seeker as Zarian.

“You need more rest,” Ariana said.

“I’m going to miss my charity thing, aren’t I?”

She swayed her head from side to side, her pigtails wavering.

She wasn’t sure, but Zarian imagined he would miss out in the end, which was unfortunate. He had pushed himself a lot for multiple days and nights straight, so there was no denying him the rest he needed. Maybe when he grew further, he wouldn’t need as much rest.

Well, other than Naomi succeeding on Aura Ignition, it looked like the others were doing well. They also looked bright and happy, Gilbert especially. The man nearly shone as bright as Bianca when he could help people in need. He was also sober, too, which was a good sign.

Things were going well.

“I wanted the charity for everybody to feel like they’re making a difference,” Zarian said.

“Is that so?” Ariana responded.

“It is very much so.” Zarian placed his hands on his hips and looked up into the void. “Do you ever get the feeling that all you do is work and toil and hurt? Maybe you’re hurting yourself or hurting others? Well, most people might not realize there’s another way to live, and the act of being of service and helping others even if you don’t have to can be rewarding in itself.”

“There are those who do that right now. They worship the gods, their nobles, their lords, and act in service of them.”

“No, Ariana. I’m not talking about that type of service. I’m talking about service going from the top to the bottom without needing much in return. Even if all you can provide is a hot meal and some comfort, you can see the actual impact you have on someone who needs a little support.”

Zarian turned and smiled down at his little sister.

“We’re not trying to save the world or the universe. Maybe we’ll kill a few world bosses and divine beings here and there, especially Sinfeast, and maybe we’ll prevent hugely destructive events, but that’s not the primary goal. The primary goal is to adventure, show off our magic, and grow.”

Zarian rubbed the back of his neck. He never realized he had so much to say.

“Sometimes part of that adventure is helping with what’s in front of us. Sometimes we show off our magic by kicking in the teeth of every asshole who thinks they’re untouchable. And the growing part is simple. We want to see how far we can take ourselves. Pushing beyond mortal limits. Pushing each other if we can.”

He watched the others leave behind the room. Then the viewing bubble turned dark and faded away. All that remained was the surrounding void.

He was comfortable here. Ariana was comfortable here, too.

“Most won’t think like you,” Ariana said. “It can be seen as a weakness, your kindness.”

“Ha! I know! I know it’s looked at as a weakness. And I don’t give a fuck, anyway! Because if your kindness is that big of a weakness, then you’re a weak bitch, anyway!”

Ariana opened and closed her mouth. She fell silent, but it was obvious that she wanted to hear more.

Zarian kept rolling. “If you have enough power, can you really say you can’t make a difference? Even if the difference is providing some aid and comfort to others when it’s not a big deal? I’ve heard from so many people that no matter what you do, everything will go back to being the same. People will constantly suffer. The rich would get richer. The cycle of misery would repeat itself, and the few in power would step on the meek beneath their feet.”

Zarian nodded.

“I also know that just because I’ve eaten trash and I’ve been meek, that doesn’t mean I have to care about anybody else. In fact, I should be the most selfish person here.”

“But?” Ariana asked softly.

“I’m built different.” Zarian paced in a slow circle around Ariana. “Every asshole who looks down on the meek for being weak. Every asshole who thinks nothing can be changed and pushes out this nonsense that nothing can be done. Every asshole who is only self absorbed with their own whims and can’t extend a helping hand, regardless of how small, just because it’s a slight inconvenience. Every asshole who lives for a narcissistic, society-destroying, soul-crushing existence and thinks to themselves that’s how life is supposed to be. They can all get fucked.”

“Why?” Ariana asked.

“Because I’m in a fight with those assholes. And I’m on my own with what I can do that’s different from everyone else. I don’t think there’s anyone like me. And that’ll bring haters. But that’s okay. You ain’t doing anything worth a damn if you don’t have haters.”

Zarian took a deep breath and said, “You already know the words. I don’t need to repeat myself here.”

The dream ended.