CH 16

Please READ disclaimer in Table of Contents. Thank you and will correct my grammatical errors when I have a chance. 

I also very much missed Zhuo Wenyang. I missed the sense of security felt when I woke up to him sitting next to me.

The sunlight would seep through the windows and reflect off his hair and eyes. Everything was sparkling. That image alone was extremely dazzling, brightening up my dreary and dull days.

I didn’t need for him to be attractive, I didn’t need for him to be famous, and I didn’t need for him to be wealthy. Without any particular reason, I wanted to get close to him.

This was the first time that I wanted to get close to someone without any conditions, so I easily felt hurt.

Was I being too hypocritical?

I was a little regretful.

However, it was impossible for me to apologize to him. If the deceived person still had to bow his head and apologize in reflection, what morals were there left?

“Uncle Chen!” I squeezed my legs together and proceeded to walk back and forth in front of the door like an ant on a hot pot, complaining, “It’s urgent! Are you okay ah!?”

Although I figured that he was showering and was not that fast, and Lu Feng was using the other bathroom. I might as well urinate at the door to rush Lu Feng instead.

I circled around again for dozens of seconds, and this torment felt more than enough for me. I had no other choice and laid on the door in despair, howling, “Uncle Chen….”

The door finally swung open with the water vapor rushing out. I saw Uncle Chen appear with a bath towel awkwardly wrapped around him.

He said, “Sorry, sorry….”

I didn’t have time for formalities and dashed in like an arrow.

After sprinting in to use the toilet at the speed of light, my entire body and mind drowned in relief. I was able to calm down and strolled out with a renewed attitude.

“Don’t worry, there’s no problem.”

Uncle Chen smiled and said, “You shouldn’t hold in. Don’t wait until the last second to use the bathroom. It’s not good for your health. How many times have I told you about this bad habit?”

He was not completely dressed yet, so I was able to see a scar on his chest that wasn’t particularly big but looked very gruesome.

The scar was disturbing.

I pointed at him, “This is….”

“Oh….this,” he glanced down and said, “It’s nothing; I was just injured before.”

“Gunshot wound?!”

“Mm.”

“Oh God…”

It struck the position of his heart. Yet, here he was, standing and talking to me.

Shocked, I asked, “Are you…doing okay?”

“It was something,” he commented, smiling, “I’ve lost consciousness for almost two years.”

“……”

“Due to the lack of oxygen the brain required,” he pointed to his own head, “it’s been challenging here. I can’t remember things well. Last night, Lu Feng helped fix the stove and I said, ‘Oh my, when did you fix it?’ But this morning, when I was using the stove, I also repeated, ‘Oh my, when did you fix it?’ This amused Lu Feng. He said it was like watching a replay of a movie scene.”

“……”

I couldn’t laugh though.

I thought of the time when I told him “You’ve studied and read so many books, but none of that did anything for you!” I remembered his expression at that moment.

My heart, once devoid of blood and tears, was violently weighed with the heaviness of my guilt.

How senseless I was to poke at people’s scars like this.

If it wasn’t because of his accident, he would have the chance to live a good life now. 20 years ago, a top student that graduated from X University was considered very prestigious so how could he be reduced to such a state?

Life was truly unforgiving.

I could only say, “You have a very filial son, don’t worry. He can take care of you when you’re older.”

“Ah,” he smiled sincerely and shyly, “he is much better than me.”

“Then… what about your wife?”

He replied, “She passed away from cancer.”

“…..” I didn’t know what to say, “Oh, well, your son is so good, the grandparents must be blessed….”

He paused and said, “My father passed early. When I recently graduated and worked for two years, before I had the time to become filial towards my parents, my mom passed too.”

“…..”

He whispered, “I’m really not a good son.”

This occurred at least more than ten years ago, but when he spoke of it, he still had a mournful expression on his face.

I wanted to continue asking, but with how I viewed my low level of conversing, I didn’t dare to talk much more.

He looked back at me, “So, regarding you and your father, if you have time, please contact them more often. By the time a child wants to support and be with their family, they may no longer be there and only regret will be left.”

“Oh……”

I thought that it was bad enough when I lost my memory from the car accident, yet in comparison, I couldn’t help but sympathize with him.

There were people in this world who were less fortunate than me.

By dinner time, five dishes were already set on the dining table while Cheng Yichen was still busy with Lu Feng in the kitchen. He cooked a lot of dishes. He usually had four dishes along with a soup. He also relied on Lu Feng, an utter beast, to be in charge of scrubbing the bottom of each bowl until it was thoroughly cleaned. How could he be so extravagant tonight?

“Today, there are so many dishes ah?” I strayed there, greedily taking in the aroma of steamed crabs and garlic vermicelli.

Cheng Yichen brought out another plate of fried lamb with green onions, happily saying, “My son is coming over to eat.”

“Oh!”

I lived here for a while but I had never seen his son enter the door once. This was a big, blissful event for him. Thus, I helped set up the dishes and chopsticks before sitting down to wait for the meal.

That was when I heard the doorbell.

Lu Feng and Cheng Yichen was occupied with cutting winter melons and washing white shellfish in the kitchen. I jumped up and said, “I’ll go and open the door!”

Because I began to like Cheng Yichen, and even had some affection for his son, I could not wait to demonstrate a bit of kindness.

I rushed to the door and turned the handle with a grin.

I was caught off guard when the door opened to a cold, reserved face.

He nodded and whispered, “Hello.”

I was shocked and at a loss.

“You’re here,” Cheng Yichen came over, wiped his hands on his apron, and greeted with a smile, “Xiao Jing, this is my son, Wenyang. Wenyang, this is Xiao Jing.”

“…..”

He said, “Well, I know. We know each other.”

Cheng Yichen said, “Oh, that’s right. You should have already known each other. Wenyang was also in Nangao before, and he was in the same class as you. Come on, Wenyang, change your shoes since we just mopped the floor.”

“?” I was still glued to the same place, even more bewildered. “Really?”

Zhuo Wenyang changed into his slippers silently, sighing and finally admitting, “Lin Jing, for three years in high school, I was your desk mate.”

“?”

He showed Cheng Yichen what he brought, “Dad, this is for you.”

“What’s this?”

He replied, “A foot spa to massage your feet. Didn’t you say your feet are sore? I brought one for you along the way. Determine where you want to keep it, and I’ll store it for you.”

Facing such a hard-core gift, I rolled my eyes at it. But Cheng Yichen looked happy, “Did I say that? It looks great, I’ll try it tonight! Just put it here. By the way, Xiao Jing and you should talk first. There will be soup for dinner, and it will be ready soon.”

Cheng Yichen went back to the kitchen to continue cooking. Zhuo Wenyang put away the heavy-looking gift and silently sat down at the dining table.

I was struggling to recall the fact that we were desk mates, but I had no other impression. There seemed to be a blank in my memory regarding this person.

He seemed to notice that I was racking my brains for this memory and said in a low voice, “After you were discharged from the hospital due to a car accident, I went to see you. I also brought you a CD.”

I thought for a while, “Ah!”

I finally recalled that I had indeed met him.

At that time, he was very thin and haggard looking. He brought an unknown CD and asked me about it. He looked tormented and in pain.

And I never saw him again after that.

It was just fate. There were so many people and other things in life. Like light and darkness that passed by ever so quickly, it was difficult for traces to be left imbedded one at a time. This was especially so when I was in a daze.

When we met again, he was completely different. Now, he was taller, had straighter posture, calmer, and more mature.

Naturally, it was impossible for me to find a trace of his shadow of a person he once was.

I exclaimed, “You have changed a lot!”

“Well,” he was quiet for a moment before apologizing, “I’m sorry about the previous incident. I was wrong. I shouldn’t have hidden it from you initially and I shouldn’t have avoided you. I should have apologized and explained it all to you.”

Actually, I was not that angry. Even if there was a small flame of anger left, the slight flickering of it would be quickly extinguished after I met him in person, as if I was meeting Gan Lin.

“Then why on earth did you take those classes with me?” You couldn’t have been so bored and had nothing better to do other than mess with me.

He was silent for a while before answering, “Because we used to be good friends.”

I was shocked, “Really?”

“Mm.”

I asked curiously, “Like best?”

He was quiet and said, “Yeah.”

It finally dawned on me, “Ah I see, no wonder I was admitted to T University!”

He gave me a confused look.

“Wasn’t it because you were helping me with tutoring?”

He seemed to be smiling, “But you also worked hard at that time.”

I was surprised, “I had time to work very hard?”

“Well,” he said, “you were serious.”

“So when I was serious, was I really the kind of person who could get into T University without cheating? I used to be that talented? Was I really a genius?”

He pondered for a moment and said, “Of course, a little bit of luck was also a factor.”

“…..” He didn’t have to be so honest.

“Rather, if this was the case, why didn’t you tell me the truth from the beginning? Just say we used to be friends, wouldn’t that have been fine?”

He shook his head, “It’s not the same.”

“Ah?”

“I can tell you that we used to be friends, but you won’t remember the feeling of our friendship and you won’t recognize me as your friend from the bottom of your heart,” he whispered, “Once forgotten, we can only start all over again.”

He seemed to be right.

“Being told the truth” vs “remembrance of emotions” were two different things.

Similarly, if one day, someone suddenly came up to me and said he was my own father, I couldn’t start developing familial feelings.

Thinking of this, I was also relieved.

“But we’re still friends, are we not?”

He looked at me and slightly smiled, “Yeah.”

“But anyway, how did you find out which classroom I was in?”

The normal state of being for college students was not remembering where their classrooms were located.

“My father said that a friend’s child was going to stay here, but I didn’t know it was you at that time. He even asked me to bring you a pair of shoes. After returning to China, Lu Feng went to work that day so I came by to see my father and bring those shoes. Then, I saw the class schedule on the wall,” he explained, “It had your name on it.”

“…..”

So, it was that very day that he appeared next to me and woke me up with a pen.

I suddenly felt a little happy.

And he bought those shoes for me, indirectly meaning that he gave me a gift.