CH 48

I turned off my phone, tossed and turned all night. Feeling bitter and humiliated, a cold voice echoed, “Isn’t that obvious?”

“That’s right, that’s Zhuo Wenyang.”

“What’s so sad about him having a crush? What does that have to do with you?”

“If he likes women, then it’s none of your business.”

“Even if you don’t like women, what can you do?”

“Is it your turn? You’re thinking too highly.”

“It’s like you’re a toad that wants to get some swan meat.”

I was stabbed severely by voices in my head and I couldn’t fall asleep until it was almost dawn.

When I woke up at noon the next day, I was still in a soulless state. I got up to wash in a zombie state and acted on my survival instincts, heading to the living room to find something to eat.

Ke Luo was sitting at the table, working on his laptop. When he heard movements, he glanced up at me and then said, “Yo,” and commented, “What’s wrong with you? You look like an old dog that was ran over by a car.”

“…..”

Ke Luo spent less and less time at home these days. He was busy and would sometimes stay out at night.

Mostly because of ditching his friends and having sex.

In comparison, I looked relatively pathetic.

I sat down at the table in a distractedly, dragging over the plate with fried dough sticks and pancakes. I ate them, tasting nothing.

Ke Luo stared at me. “What’s wrong? Your face is so gloomy. Did you lose a game all night?”

I chewed on the fried dough sticks expressionlessly.

Cold, fried dough sticks tasted like my broken heart.

“Where’s Uncle Chen?” It would probably take Cheng Yichen’s cooking to keep me warm.

Ke Luo said, “Uncle Lu and others went out. They asked us to order takeout food at noon.”

“…what are they doing?”

“What else can they do during the weekends? Just eat and watch movies. There must be time for the two to spend,” Ke Luo said, “You’re at home everyday like the big light bulb you are, third-wheeling. Unlike me, I know how to be sensible and give them space.”

Hearing this, I refused to agree. “Are you sensible? You had your fun outside, didn’t you?”

“…..” Ke Luo immediately expressed embarrassment of being exposed.

I couldn’t help but feel sad and lonely. Was I the only one left in this room to live a loveless life?

“Who have you been hanging out with? Is it still Little Red?”

The embarrassment on Ke Luo’s face grew stronger.

“Damn, did I not warn you,” I hated stubborn people, “Why are you still dragging your feet? I’ve analyzed it for you! Why don’t you listen!?”

As soon as I fell in love and couldn’t deal with my situation over there, I became an emotional mentor here. The essence of human beings were too good at cooking oneself yet acting like a teacher to others.

“I don’t know,” Ke Luo let out a long breath, “I planned to break up with her and said a lot of cruel things. But somehow, I can’t break it off. I can’t let her go.”

Ah, Big Sister was indeed poisonous!

Ke Luo mentioned, “A while ago, I invited her to watch Xu Yan’s concert together.”

“?” I was a little angry, “You didn’t bring me to Xu Yan’s concert?”

“There are only two VIP tickets in total. If I bring you, I can’t bring Wenyang.”

I instantly felt better. “Alright then.”

Ke Luo thought about it and there was a boyish trance on his face. “It felt pretty good, like a date.”

“So you’re starting a relationship?”

“No,” Ke Luo frowned again, “I think she still treats me like a tool to solve her desires, but I seem to be a willing tool. Am I out of my mind?”

I said bitterly, “I don’t know if my brain is bad or not, but it sounds pretty good.”

It wasn’t like me. I was single for so long, I felt like I was now a virgin.

Ke Luo shook his head. “I don’t know what our relationship is. Sometimes, I think the reason why she’s still interested in me is partly because of her physical needs, and partly because she is unwilling…”

I immediately added, “Because of Little White?”

Ke Luo looked at me. “You think so too, don’t you? Sometimes, I really think so. For example, after making out, the romantic atmosphere is very good and the romantic vibes would normally linger. But then, she would suddenly ask me who’s better in bed, she or Little White.”

Yo, this damning desire to win. “So, she wants to win.”

I shook my head, “You are her trophy to prove her desirability.”

Ke Luo scowled, “Maybe…”

“Do you dare to be serious with her?” I clicked my tongue and said, “Isn’t it too sad to offer up your heart and then be nailed to the wall as capital to show off?”

“My first reaction was the same,” Ke Luo said, “So, I also declared to her that this isn’t a relationship. We’re just friends with benefits. In the end, she was carefree and laughed at me for thinking too much.”

“You do think too much so that’s not wrong.” That was really sad. “What are you going to do?”

Ke Luo was silent and said, “I plan to invite her over for dinner during the evening of winter solstice. Do you think it’s appropriate?”

“?” I stared at him, “That’s it? After reflecting for a while, this is what you came up with?”

Ke Luo showed a panicked expression like a student who’d been repeatedly taught to only be reprimanded by the teacher.

“No, it’s just, it’s a holiday. There are so many people. Anyways, she doesn’t have relatives here and no other place to go.”

“Excuses!”

Ke Luo was quiet before he unconfidently said, “It doesn’t matter much to have a meal together; just add another pair of chopsticks…”

“Why doesn’t it matter? Can anyone just come to this place?” I had already left behind my previous “broken home” and was “exiled” to here. “This is trespassing! Don’t bring up Yuan Keke ah. Bringing in classmates vs lovers is different! You have an ambiguous relationship, and you’re trying to bring her home!”

“…..” Ke Luo said, “It’s pretty lonely for her to spend holidays alone.”

“No,” I pressed on, “The last time Little White came, I didn’t let her come inside the house. For Little Red, why would you invite her in the house instead?”

When Little White came to T City, the event held was quite grand and luxurious. However, I didn’t go and Little White didn’t come to the house, but went to Lu Feng’s mansion instead.

Although courtesy was a major consideration, in my opinion, there was still a difference between being over welcoming and maintaining one’s distance.

“…..”

“Little Red’s treatment is better than Little White’s. Is this appropriate?”

Ke Luo asked, “Is there any?”

I let out a dramatic sigh, “You are biased towards Little Red and you don’t even know it.”

“…..”

“You’re finished. You’re hopeless. Even a straight fishing hook can catch you,” I said heartbrokenly, “I hate you; I don’t want to be brothers with you anymore.”

Ke Luo, while being looked down upon by me, was lost in thought while staring at the ceiling. A message popped up from my mobile phone, notifying me that Zhuo Wenyang sent me an image.

I instantly forgot about the hopeless Ke Luo and quickly clicked on the message.

Originally, I imagined what selfie this could be, but an image of a pair of sneakers caught my eye instead. Zhuo Wenyang asked me, “Do these pair look good?”

While scolding myself for my delusional thoughts, I replied, “It’s pretty good. The color matches really well.”

It turned out that I was used as reference to buy shoes. Not bad; at least it meant that my aesthetics were recognized.

“Really, that’s great,” Zhuo Wenyang said, “I bought it for you. I was scared that you wouldn’t like it.”

“…..” I asked, “Why did you buy this for me? Did Uncle Chen ask you to buy me shoes?”

“No, I saw them when I passed by the window just now and thought that they would suit you,” he said, “Because I was in a hurry, I bought them without asking for your opinion.”

“…..”

He was so nice. He was too kind to me.

I did not know what type of person was deserving to reside in his heart.

While I was happy, I was also saddened. Despite of the dejection, I still felt very happy.

Well then, I was not much better off than Ke Luo.

Let us continue to remain as close as brothers.