Chapter 311: Bad Habits Die Hard (1/2) (Partial Lewd)

Chapter 311: Bad Habits Die Hard (1/2) (Partial Lewd)

Shoutout to CKLance, sebastin michaelis, Jasticus, and Failure Ninja for Patron and Subscribe Star support!!

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A/N: Imagine that, the first smut of the arc, and my dumbass thought it would be amazing to write a threesome with the two women who canonically hated each other at first sight (rarer than love at first sight) and might just shoot each other while cumming their brains out. It wasn't a wise decision, but Black Lagoon is a series of bad judgments. And Nik has a charm for everything wrong. Let's hope I do give the first scene some justice.

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The world isn't ending. Yet. so it's okay, Revy thinks. It WILL end, right? Moon's practically busted. It might take centuries if those numbskulls with thick glasses calling themselves scientists are any believable, but Earth's fucked, too. Hmm. They weren't wearing glasses. But it's easier to bunch nerds in their categories, like the one she's pinning on the bed and kissing—talking about bones, human structure, and pulling a book from his ass to read while stranded on a dead island near Indo.

What a nerd.

But she can take her dues before the Earth ends, or she does already. She might have a bullet punched through her skull by the bitch intensely staring at their make-out session. It doesn't matter. Revy hated the bitch's face—acting high and mighty despite being no less a sewer rat. What a coward. Hmm. So she's in a room with a nerd and a coward. Said nerd has one fine bone pressed against her crotch, and the coward's getting off by seeing others do it.

She gasps, finding her bottom lip nibbled by him and a firm hand giving her ass a tight squeeze. Her hands try to fight it off. But it's of no use. He's getting as forceful as she is. If she gets to pin him, he gets to cop a feel. She would get angry at his audacity if not for his other hand still stroking her cheek as they tangoed with their tongues, swapping spit instead of curses. Maybe she can get his phone and delete the video of her dry-humping Eda. Don't get her wrong. She doesn't get her rocks off with women, but she was drunk, and Eda, the Slut, looked quite the sissy—good enough to get pegged if Revy brought a strap-on.

His lips snatch such thoughts, aware of the moments she loses focus. He doesn't like getting ignored, the nerd he is. And he had to one-up her shitty story. She would love to have some hold on him, but her background isn't it. He was right on that Island. It's not the Shitty Backgrounds that get her. It's the shitty background connected with the people she knows and possibly cares about.

Not that she cares for the 'Dundies.' Especially that skank Ray. Tonight is just vacation.

So, she gets to rub it in that Maid's face about who's the mistress in the room.

"Mmph."

Unfortunately, with those skills that have Revy stifling her moans, the title of the 'Mistress' rests solely in the palm of Nik's debauched hands.

She pulls back after a while, indifferent to the thread of saliva bridging their lips. Nik's violet eyes match her brown ones as hesitation grips her heart again. She can't bring those words up or even think of them. Try as she might, she cannot match the look he has in his eyes. He smiles, licking his lips while stroking her cheek with the back of his hand. "That's some glare, Revy. Did you hate it that much?"

She didn't. But she cannot say otherwise either. She's stuck. But she wouldn't let them stall here. She straightens her back and slips out of her tank top, freeing her bouncing tits to Nik's eyes. He's seen them before. But tonight, he takes the time to appreciate them with his gaze.

"If you make some comment about my ribcage, I'm going to—"

"Did you know?" He grins with the characteristic tone of dropping a fun fact at her. "You're beautiful, Revy. Especially when you act like that."

Her glare hardens as if staring at someone at the bottom of her gun's barrel. On that note, where are her pistols? She might fill him with lead before letting him do the same with the weaponry below.

"Pfft? Beautiful?" And more angering is the quiet snort from behind.

"I heard that!" Revy snaps back at Roberta only to find the hand on her face firmly cupping her jaw and bringing her attention back to Nik.

"Revy," he continues while sitting up, bringing his face close as those violet orbs of his stare into her. She expects some wholesome crap again, but he whispers into her ear while staring behind her, glancing at Roberta as he slowly speaks, "Just a fair warning. If we do it, I will do everything possible to get you." There's undeniable conviction in his voice, something the both of them want to deny. But it's not the least bit 'cute.' He's rather demanding for a moment while giving them a way out. Not that they want any.

Revy and Roberta frown, their minds syncing for a mere second.

'Who does he think he's talking to?'

They came here willingly, right? So, what was that all about?

It seems Nik understood their thought as he supplants with a smirk, "You didn't take me for a meat bag for use, did you?" He pecks Revy's ear while keeping his eyes on Roberta.

Revy jerks back, latching her hand around his neck with a snarl, "Asshole! Do you think you can say all that weird crap for free?"

"Good," Nik narrows his eyes. "So, we're all on the same page." The duo is not like other women Nik met until this world since his new life. Debauched she might be, but Mitsuko is 'normal.' Katara and the rest aren't anywhere near as crazy as Revy, and in Nik's humble opinion, that includes Azula. But it would be a damn lie if he wasn't attracted. He also needs a maid for his manor.

The grip around his neck loosens as Revy glances away.

"You know," Nik smiles comfortingly. "Nobody's forcing you, Revy. You can make up your mind while Roberta 'rewards' me."

Others might confuse Nik as gaslighting others, but given his track record, he meant every word he said with utmost sincerity.

"Indeed. Mister Nik is wise. It's getting quite late, and if you can't decide, you better return to your room and leave adults to their world. We also need to sleep later."

"What did you say, you glasses-wearing whore?!"

"Sleep?" Nik blinks, too. Did he say they could sleep?

If he's going to spend his night away from his family, he has to make every moment count. He's not going to fuck for himself alone! He has to make his family proud.

Of course, his voice is drowned by Roberta's louder response as she sneers, "I said it would ruin my night to see someone of character like Mister Nik screwing a kid like you."

'Wow.' Nik feels his cheeks turn hotter. 'Nobody ever said that about me. It's usually about my dimensions.'

Revy grits her jaws before glaring at Nik and letting go of his neck. She came here for a rut to establish dominance on the maid, not—whatever this is! She must shoot someone. That's the only reasonable response!

"I can rock a boner all night while you wait, but I'd prefer to use it," Nik relaxes his shoulder. He could use the [Twilight's Charm] to fuck her here and now, but what would be the point? She wouldn't want that, and he didn't either.

Instead, he leans forward.

"What are you doing?" She doesn't move back and instead snorts.

"Helping you decide," Nik whispers on her lips before pecking. He doesn't linger and ducks his head down, peppering her neck with kisses and nibbles, allowing his hands to enjoy her soft breasts and kneading them to his desires.

"Ah, sorry," Diego coughs and clears his throat. "You kids carry on."

Roberta's face flushes as Nik and Revy stare at her.

"So, it's decided," he nods.

"Hmph," Revy snorts. "It's Revy."

"Rundy, not now," Nik frowns.

"What? Et Tu?"

"Huh?" Nik blinks. What's that? But he explains, "What did you think was going to happen? You get to cum and fight while I get to nanny after you?"

"Mister—"

"I'm naked," Nik groans. "You can drop the pretense, Roberta."

"Right," Roberta glances at his erection that persists through so much shit before glancing at his left arm. "That was no magic trick, was it?"

"It was no trick," Nik corrects her. "This isn't either."

The two feel the blood on their faces warming up and shimmering slightly before healing their blackening eyes and other minor injuries.

He sighs, not bothering with more explanations. "You destroyed the mood, so you set it again. Light the candles, make out with each other, or whatever you'd like. But I'll throw you two out of the window in your current state if you fight again without proper sparring rules."

"No guns," Revy looks at Roberta, almost confident that Roberta will pick fighting over a fuck. Or so she wishes. She could beat Roberta and have him for herself later.

"You're on your own," Roberta narrows her eyes. "I apologize, Nik. And here I am, given yet another chance in a place I did not expect. I-" she glances at him with sorrow in her eyes. "But I can't help it."

"Bitch, what's with the sentiment?" Revy stands from her position, planting her hands on her hips without bothering to cover her naked body. "You can't help doing things your way? Just because an asshole like Nik said so?"

"Excuse me for having some boundaries. No killing and nothing up my ass—is that so much to ask?" Nik snorts, lying comfortably with his hands under his head.

"Shut up," Revy frowns. "And I'm done hiding things for you if you're going to show it off to a random skank!"

Nik snorts in amusement, "And who asked you to cover for me? Ah, could it be? You worry for me?"

"Shut up!"

Roberta watches the duo before whispering, "Nik, what if you squander your second chance?"

"Huh? Are you still on about that?" Revy snorts.

"Simple," Nik glances at her with a smirk. "As long as you're alive, every new day is a chance. Doesn't mean whatever wrong you did is gone, but doesn't mean the end of the world either."

Roberta stares at him before glancing at his full mast.

'So,' she reasons, 'I can still be Master Diego's humble maid, Roberta, every day even if I become Rosarita at night?'

She stands from her position before smiling widely and crookedly. Her blue eyes maliciously shimmer as she whispers, "Nik, what if I said I have a bullet down there with your name written on it?"

Nik returns the smirk, "Then find it yourself, Bitch. I just said you can't get away with shit even if you get more chances. Work for it."

Roberta and Revy blink, finally realizing they will be the ones getting blue-balled if they don't right their wrongs.

[Smexy-succu-succu: I found the twins!]

[Nut-Cracking-Messiah: Congratulations. At least one of us is being productive tonight.]

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Alternate Title: Revy Calls Others a Nerd and a Coward *Also Revy: Intensely Nerdy About Guns and Unable To Face Proper Emotions*; Earth Is Ending Probably, Might As Well Fuck—'Two Hands' Revy; The Make Out; Boner Alert; Nik is Simply Passionate About Bones *Insert Brook Memes*; A Healthy Warning; Boner Nerd; Helping Decide; Digging The Bullet, Finding a Lake; Damn, Rosarita's a Master Baiter *Meanwhile Roberta's a Masturbater*; Sudden Violence; Lust and Blood; Nik Tries To Be Calm *Fails*; Also Nik—Blackmail And Abuse; Eating Cunny In Ways To Make Momma Proud; The Collected Filth In One Room; Finding Ways To Bring The Worst Out of Each Other; The Prophecized Stick Up Roberta's Bum; It Aint's a Trick But It's Still Magic; Rundy's Angry; Deigo's Interruption; About To Get Blue-Balled; At Least Ray is Happy; There Are Infinite Chances—Monkey D. Luffy; Roberta By Day, Nik's By Night; Roberta When She Sees a Cock: I Can Probably Tear It *Perfect For The Nut Cracking Messiah*; Nik's Thoughts: Revy's Hot, and I Also Need a Maid. I Bet Roberta's Even Hotter When She Cleans My Room.

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Ps: As I started writing, I realized that making the threesome right off the bat will be in bad taste. Rundy and Rosarita have some serious hate boner for each other and they would do anything to vent it. So, I couldn't get down to smut directly to keep some part of their characteristic intact. I could easily write cum sluts, but we already have Azula and the Souma Family. And the major part about Roberta's character, if I got it write after rereading Roberta's second arc in the manga, is her battles against her past due to the kindness showed to her during the present that blows wide open when something happens to those who she cares for. And I somehow believe she is one of the more wholesome characters of Black Lagoon with Revy when you compare them to others except for her devil's tongue with Garcia by the end of it (Don't wanna spoil more).

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