CH 43

When Mom came, life changed. It automatically became very healthy and regular.

At 10 p.m., Yu Zhou and Xiang Wan finished taking a shower before going into the master bedroom. Before closing the door, Yu Zhou specially said goodnight to Ms. Zhao: “Mom, go to sleep, you should sleep early too, goodnight.”

“You’d better really go to sleep, don’t play with your phone.” Ms. Zhao’s voice came from the sofa.

Yu Zhou closed the door, sat on the bed and started playing with her phone as Ms. Zhao expected.

Xiang Wan put on her pajamas and lay down on the bed with a pillow as she looked at her.

“You want to sleep, right? Will this desk lamp affect you if I keep it on?” Yu Zhou had to wait for Ms. Zhao to fall asleep before leaving.

Everything was quiet while Xiang Wan’s face was like moonlight.

She shook her head and said, “I’m not sleepy.”

“Well, you have a good habit, you don’t play with your phone or something.” The ancients were the ancients.

Seeing that Xiang Wan didn’t speak, Yu Zhou glanced at her while holding her phone and said, “What are you looking at me for?”

Two girls spoke softly, afraid that Ms. Zhao would hear them, but this kind of tone and atmosphere easily brought out some suppressed emotions.

Xiang Wan lay on her side with her hand placed next to the pillow and then leaned towards the warmth of Yu Zhou.

Yu Zhou looked down at her as if she could touch her soft hair just by reaching out her hand.

Yu Zhou put down her phone but didn’t touch her. She just hung her hand next to the pillow by Xiang Wan’s hair, moving it while asking, “Do you have something on your mind?”

“I miss my mother a little,” Xiang Wan said.

“My mother never talked to me like this,” she paused as her voice got quieter, “My mother won’t talk to me anymore either.”

Yu Zhou really wanted to pat her, but she just breathed out and didn’t do it.

In fact, it’s hard to delve into what mentality this little girl is having to blend in with this society. Most of the time she observes, but she is very smart, probably no one really knows what kind of impression these observations leave on her heart.

Usually, Xiang Wan is very obedient. She often does what others tell her to do, but the occasional rebellious remark proves that she has been thinking all along.

Yu Zhou really wanted to tell her, “Do you know? Actually, most people in this world don’t think so much. We live by instinct and inertia. If we have to delve into everything, we may not be able to live at all.”

Our love, hate, sadness and joy are all for us to experience, not to delve into the causes and consequences. Otherwise, you will be trapped in it, always looking back and never able to move forward.

And speaking of the order of the world, just like Xiang Wan asking why unrelated people would make such comments during the day. But this is how society is, there is no reason for things to happen, they just happen or not.

Don’t think about the cause, process, or ending, and don’t ask if it’s fair.

Because the bottom line of the world is unfair.

But she didn’t want to say these things to Xiang Wan. She wanted to say something positive.

She said, “Wanwan, many things may seem difficult to you, but in fact, the fact that we can sit here with air conditioning, using our phones and talking, already makes us survivors in every sense of the word.”

“We are all learning and honing our survival skills. Even those of us who have been living in this world for twenty or thirty years are still making mistakes and encountering new problems. For example, Director Peng, Su Chang and I, we all have various problems. You have only been here for a little over a month and you are already doing great.”

“This world is different from the one you knew back then. Before, we had a house like a turtle shell, and the information was relatively closed off. We were like the frog in the well, unable to see the vast sky, but we were also safe. Now, in the age of the internet, there is no shelter for anyone. We can only hold our spears and shields and explore all the good and bad.”

“In modern society, there is also a greater emphasis on ‘self.’ Before, you may have thought that living under the wings of your parents and accepting their gifts was natural, but it is not anymore. Before, our parents gave us life, but now they give us a pair of hands.”

Xiang Wan listened to Yu Zhou’s gentle words, feeling like the starlight blocked by tall buildings had escaped into her eyes.

She lowered her head before smiling at Xiang Wan, saying, “After a long time, you will find that this world is actually quite good. It will give you infinite possibilities and tell you that there is nothing in your life that is necessary except for yourself.”

“I told you in the car this afternoon that you met two benefactors and things might be different now, I was serious. Su Chang’s words also made me reflect. I used to treat you like the kitten Wanwan that I took in and cared for, arranging everything for you. Because you were used to being arranged at home, you might have adapted to this way. But Xiang Wan, this should not be the way of life for an independent person.”

Xiang Wan wanted to say something, but Yu Zhou shook her head, indicating that she should listen to her first.

“I will still do my best to help you because I was the first person you saw in this world. I will always be your first friend but I won’t be your only friend.”

“Director Peng, Miss Su, and the classmates you will meet in the training class will all be your friends. You have to get along with them by yourself. In a few days, I will take you on the subway once and then you can go by yourself.”

Xiang Wan’s eyes dimmed. Yu Zhou keenly noticed that she was a little sad.

“I’m not saying this to abandon you. I’m just telling you that as an independent individual, you came to this world not to depend on others. You will see everything from your own perspective and discover that the world is vast and full of possibilities.”

Xiang Wan blinked her eyes, feeling a sour and painful emotion in her chest, which made her feel both unfamiliar and fond.

She looked up before asking, “Can you pat me?”

Yu Zhou laughed, “How old are you? I find that you are getting younger and younger.”

But she still reached out, first touched Xiang Wan’s hair and then gently patted her raised shoulder.

She knew that Xiang Wan was a little scared. After all, she had never left her before, but this time she had to go to class by herself.

Xiang Wan’s shoulders trembled a bit but soon calmed down. Yu Zhou’s hand covered her shoulder, warm and soft, a warmth that belonged to a girl.

Enveloped in such an atmosphere, it’s hard not to get lost in it.

She said, “I’m not a child anymore, so when you’re sad, you can tell me and I can pat you too.”

Yu Zhou rubbed her shoulder with her thumb, saying softly, “You have that.”

You have comforted me.

Her expression was a bit dazed as she was silent for four or five seconds before saying, “If you hadn’t come, I might have…”

“…still be living aimlessly, and maybe, I would still think of some things late at night.”

Suddenly, her nose felt a bit sour.

She’s just too emotional.

Yu Zhou’s pajamas were very fragrant and the material became very soft after being washed a few times, making people want to stick to them. Xiang Wan wanted to lean over. When she was in the Minister Mansion, she sometimes hugged her maid sister who grew up with her.

But she only rubbed against Yu Zhou’s pajamas for a moment before she let go of her and stood up to listen to the noise outside. She turned her head and said, “It seems like she’s asleep.” 

Xiang Wan was startled as the warm breath suddenly disappeared, feeling a little lost.

Yu Zhou then hugged her thin blanket and took a pillow to prop open the door. She looked outside and saw that the living room was dark. She then said to Xiang Wan, “I’m going out. Good night.” 

She went out the door, but there were light footsteps behind her.

Xiang Wan got out of bed and followed her.

She watched as Yu Zhou quietly put down the sofa bed and arranged the pillow. She didn’t say anything and just stood next to her.

Yu Zhou bent down to tidy up and turned her head to glance at Xiang Wan. She smiled while asking, “What are you doing?”

She said it in a whisper tone.

Xiang Wan didn’t say anything.

“I find you quite interesting,” Yu Zhou said, “sometimes you can be quite naughty and mischievous, but other times you can be very well-behaved, like now, following me around like the little Wanwan.”

Xiang Wan stood in the shallow moonlight, watching as she finished making the bed. She pursed her lips and said, “Good night.”

Then she turned and went back to her room. 

The door clicked shut, cutting off a faint sense of reluctance.

At 6:30, Yu Zhou returned to the master bedroom to sleep while Xiang Wan had already gotten up. Yu Zhou was a little surprised but thought that maybe Xiang Wan had been inspired by her own emotional words yesterday, so she didn’t pay attention to her and went back to sleep. She didn’t wake up until after 10 a.m. when she was called by Ms. Zhao.

When she got up, she only saw Ms. Zhao using a vacuum cleaner to clean the carpet.

She asked, “Where is Wanwan?”

“She volunteered to go grocery shopping and said she wanted to go alone. I told her I would stay and clean up.”

Wow, she’s really becoming more independent, huh?

Yu Zhou felt a little proud as Ms. Zhao said to her while cleaning, “Your girlfriend is both hardworking and lazy.”

“Huh?”

“She woke up very early. If you say she’s hardworking, she didn’t do anything after she woke up this morning. She didn’t even boil water, just sat on the sofa and watched me, sitting like a flight attendant.”

Yu Zhou laughed, “She probably wanted to show off and felt it was impolite to still be sleeping when the elders were up. But she doesn’t have a good sense of how to prioritize tasks. She only knows what to do when someone tells her.”

“Oh, it seems like it. I said I needed groceries and she went,” said Ms. Zhao.

“Well, she’s still young,” Yu Zhou replied.

“So you didn’t deny that she’s your girlfriend?” 

“Huh?”

Ms. Zhao smirked before humming a tune as she took the vacuum cleaner box off. “Oh, look at all this cat hair. You guys never vacuum it. I bet your lungs are full of hair. It’s scary.”