CH 6

The tea that he’d just poured was now wasted! The little red bird’s backside was sticking up as it drank, and Chen Ziqi flicked it squarely on its little butt.

“Tweet!” The little red bird immediately leapt up, trying to clutch at its bum with its tiny wings. Unfortunately, they were too short to reach all the way behind it, and it could only chirp angrily at Chen Ziqi in retaliation.

You dare flick Benzuo’s* bum? Looks like you’re not intending to be the Crown Prince!

T/N: Once again, Chinese people have a million ways of saying “I”. This form of address is usually used by immortals, gods, and some members of the nobility. It literally means “this seat”.

Chen Ziqi had no clue what the little creature was chirping about. He picked up the well-fed little chick and got ready to go to bed.

Qingping Palace had quite a few residences within it. It was meant to hold concubines before they were assigned ranks and so had to be built to accommodate a large number of people. The residence that Chang Er and Chen Ziqi lived in was one of the larger ones that had many rooms. For the first time in Chen Ziqi’s life, he had a room all to himself.

“Sleep well, Dianxia,” Fuxi said. He had already prepared Chen Ziqi’s bed, and two palace maids had done the same for Chang Er.

Chen Ziqi carried the little red bird into the bedroom, and upon seeing the soft, spacious bed, could not hold back an ear-splitting grin. The wooden bedposts were delicately carved with floral motifs, and it was covered in a canopy made of supple silk. A soft silk blanket was laid out on the bed, and it all looked incredibly comfortable.

In high spirits, Chen Ziqi set the little red bird on an ornamental perch to the side of the bed, and instructed Fuxi to close the windows and doors, so as to prevent the chick from running off in the middle of the night. He then proceeded to take off his clothes, starting with the outer robes, and then stripping off what was usually the middle layer. As Chen Ziqi didn’t have an undershirt, he just climbed into bed without a stitch of clothing.

A bamboo mat made of soft, polished bamboo strips had been placed under the blankets. It had a pleasant cooling effect, and did not jab uncomfortably at Chen Ziqi at all. The blankets were also lovely and soft, though they smelt a bit musty because they had not been sunned.

Chen Ziqi rolled around on the bed in glee, then lay chest-down on a squidgy cushion. He used a finger to trace the lotus flower patterns on the cushion, the same finger that had been cut by the High Priest earlier that day. The small wound had begun to heal, and there was only a thin red line where the cut had been made. It still hurt a little when touched. On seeing the wound, he recalled again what happened at Zhanghua Pavilion earlier that day.

In particular, he remembered the Dragonstone that undulated with light when it came into contact with the royal family’s blood. This was the first time Chen Ziqi had heard of this method of testing for kinship, and he wondered what kind of arcane secret the stone held. Also, what of that mysterious High Priest?

Whilst he was lost in thought, a pastel yellow beak suddenly appeared and pecked at his finger.

“Eh?” Chen Ziqi looked at the little red fluffball next to his pillow, then looked at the bed, which was a good two feet from the ground. How did this little thing jump up?

The small red bird tilted its head to the side, its two crown feathers swaying as it did so. It examined Chen Ziqi’s finger, taking in its pale, tender appearance. It halted abruptly, pulled its head back, then pecked fiercely at the finger.

“Hey! Another sneak attack?” Chen Ziqi dodged quickly, and flicked the chick in retaliation. The chick fell over backwards, landing on its round little bum, its two skinny bird legs pointed toward the sky. It was a hilarious sight.

“Hahahaha!” Chen Ziqi couldn’t hold back his laughter. This little chick was so amusing.

“Tweet!” The little red bird cried out angrily, getting back on its feet with a grunt. It made to peck at Chen Ziqi again.

“Tsk, what a temper,” Chen Ziqi tutted. He placed a finger on the chick’s head to stop its advance, then pushed it over again. The sight of the overturned little chick was too funny, and he doubled over with laughter. He then kicked aside his blankets and imitated the chick, falling over backwards with his legs pointed toward the ceiling.  

The little chick, which was struggling to get up, turned around, and got an eyeful of Chen Ziqi’s naked little bum. It fell over again in shock, and immediately turned a brilliant shade of scarlet.

In the dim glow of candelight, Chen Ziqi didn’t notice the little bird’s feathers change colour. He was still kicking up his legs in glee, laughing exuberantly. “I know what to name you, I’ll call you Chao Tian*.”

T/N: Chao Tian means “pointed to the sky”. Ziqi is making fun of our poor little gong.

“Tweet tweet tweet tweet!” What nonsense is this Chao Tian? Benzuo is called Dan Yi! The little red bird was extremely dissatisfied with this strange new name, and tried to correct this grave error.

Sadly, Chen Ziqi didn’t understand him, and went on to tease him. “Liang Jiao Chao Tian Ji* – that sounds like the name of a dish in a restaurant! Hehehe!”

T/N: This means “chicken with its two legs pointed to the sky”.

Little children didn’t have that much stamina, and Chen Ziqi was no exception. Before long, he started yawning, and he pulled the blankets up to cover his stomach. He turned to look at the little red bird next to his pillow. “You can sleep on the bed, but you’re not to poop on the bed, ‘kay? If not, I’ll turn you into chicken soup,” he warned. With that, he closed his eyes and drifted off into a blissful slumber, leaving poor Dan Yi to stand and sulk on the pillow.

The next morning, a loud wail shattered the dawn. Chen Ziqi awoke with a start. He struggled out of bed, ran to the window on bare feet, and opened the windows to have a look outside.

A palanquin was parked in the Qingping Palace courtyard. A palace maid dressed exactly like Biyun emerged, carrying a boy who looked to be about three years old.

“Jiujiu, I want my jiujiu, boohoohoo…” The little boy sobbed as if his heart were breaking, struggling in the palace maid’s arms.

*T/N: Jiujiu means uncle.

“Dianxia, you’ll be able to meet your father very soon,” the palace maid said soothingly. She looked around anxiously, afraid that the boy’s wails would wake the other nobles in the palace.

“I don’t want my father, I want my uncle, BOOHOO!” the little boy wailed, sobbing even harder.

Biyun saw this scene as she came out to fetch water, and went up to offer help. A  few palace maids managed to cajole the boy into going into the residence next door, and when the door closed behind them, the sound of the boy’s crying became softer, though one could still hear the boy’s muffled cries for his uncle.

“Tweet tweet?”

A crisp little chirp sounded next to Chen Ziqi’s ear. Chen Ziqi turned to look at it in surprise. He hadn’t realized the little red bird was awake. It was presently standing on his shoulder, craning its neck to look outside. Its little claws dug into Chen Ziqi’s bare shoulder for purchase. The sensation was a little painful and little itchy at the same time.

Chen Ziqi blew a puff of air hard at the little bird, trying to blow its two crown feathers flat.

“Tweet!!!” Dan Yi cried out in surprise as he lost his balance and fell from Chen Ziqi’s shoulder. He tried to flap his little wings to arrest his fall, but it was futile; his wings hadn’t grown. The little struggling fluffball continued to fall toward the ground.

Chen Ziqi nimbly caught the bird in mid-descent, and furrowed his brows. “You obviously can’t fly, so how did you get up on my shoulder?”

I have qinggong*! Dan Yi raised his head and proudly swished his two crown feathers, making them stand up again.

T/N: Qinggong is a form of martial arts that lets one move quickly and jump/run great distances with ease. It’s a form of martial arts that actually exists irl! Though not to the extent that you see in wuxia shows, where they can just toe a leaf and then leap up eleventeen storeys again. Grins.

Chang Er had two palace maids attending to her – Biyun and Biyv. Biyv was the talkative one. True to her nature, she started telling Chang Er about the little boy as she assisted her with washing up one morning.

“That boy’s also one of the lost princes, like our Dianxia. Unfortunately, his mother has already passed away. He lived with his uncle all this while. He hasn’t stopped crying for his Jiujiu since he woke up this morning.” Biyv’s tone was playful, and it was quite pleasant to hear her speak.

“He looks like he’s only two or three. Such a poor little thing.” Chang Er sighed perfunctorily. She didn’t pursue this topic further.

Biyv saw that Chang Er was not really concerned about the boy and stopped talking. She mentally changed her assessment of Chang Er; she thought that this Niangniang was the kind, soft-hearted type, but that didn’t appear to be the case.

Chen Ziqi was not one to sit still, and he went out exploring after eating his breakfast.

Fuxi followed him anxiously. “Dianxia, you still haven’t had your audience with the Emperor. It’s best to keep a low profile until then,” he said.

“When will the Emperor grant me an audience?” Chen Ziqi picked up the little red fluffball that had followed him out and put it on his shoulder.

“Jiujiu…..” The door where the little boy stayed in suddenly opened, and the boy himself ran out, nearly falling over his own feet as he did so. He ran blindly and crashed face-first into Chen Ziqi, his tears and snot staining Chen Ziqi’s huafu.

“I’m not your Jiujiu,” Chen Ziqi said. He pushed the little boy off him.

The boy had fair skin, a chubby body and a chubby little face. His eyes were red with crying, and he looked like a fat, red-eyed white rabbit. When he saw that Chen Ziqi was not his uncle, he was ready to wail again.

“Tweet!” Dan Yi chirped irritably from his perch on Chen Ziqi’s shoulder. The quality of the Chen family’s descendants were going from bad to worse; the lost princes seemed no better than the seven idiots who were raised in the palace.

“Birdbird.” The little boy looked at the fluffy red bird and suddenly wasn’t interested in crying any more.

“This isn’t a bird. It’s a chicken,” Chen Ziqi corrected. He narrowed his eyes calculatively at this vapid looking little fatty. The princes in the palace already had a head start in forming alliances, and he was late to the game. Perhaps he should get this one on his side early, so that he wouldn’t lose out when he went up against the others…… With this thought in mind, he deliberately softened his tone. “What’s your name?”

“Ah Mu,” the child said obediently. His eyes were fixed on Dan Yi. “Birdie, I want to carry the birdie.”

“Nope,” Chen Ziqi refused to let him play with the bird. He pointed at the little boy’s crotch. “You have a bird yourself.”

“I have one too?” Ah Mu bent his head and groped his crotch, confused.

“Pfft…” Fuxi and a few palace maids who watching this exchange had to stifle their laughter.

“How vulgar,” a woman’s voice said from behind them. Chen Ziqi turned around. A woman clad in a cloak the colour of yellow gosling down alighted from a palanquin with a little boy in her arms. That woman had a sharp almond-shaped eyes that lifted upwards at the outer corners, and her eyes seemed to glow. She looked like she was someone who had neili.*

*T/N: Neili translates to “internal force”. People with high martial arts capability always have neili. Neili is to martial artists what the Force is to Jedi Knights. Well, save that neili usually can’t be used for psychokinetic purposes.

A disciple of the Suxin Sect*? Dan Yi tilted his head, looking at the motifs on the woman’s cloak. Suxin Sect was one of the Qi martial arts sects, and only took in girls as disciples. It was the complete opposite of sects like Jiyang Sect that only took in boys. Dan Yi had not thought that the Suxin Sect’s old mistress would actually do something as disgusting as sacrificing one of her own disciples to service the Emperor.

*T/N: Suxin means “Pure Heart”. My preference is to try and keep the Chinese names where I can for a more authentic reading experience.

“Niangniang, this way, please.” The old eunuch made his appearance again, and this round, he was much politer to this newcomer than he had been to Chen Ziqi and his mother.

Dan Yi narrowed his eyes, looking at the boy in the newcomer’s arms. He looked to be about four or five, and might already have started practicing martial arts. He was very tanned, with rather coarse features. Dan Yi sniffed, then turned to look at Chen Ziqi’s profile. Thick eyelashes fanned out from face, framing Chen Ziqi’s intelligent, lively eyes.

Dan Yi hung his little bird head in defeat. From the looks of it, Chen Ziqi was still the most pleasing of the lot.

In the days that followed, five more children arrived at Qingping Palace, four of which were boys, and the last of which was a girl. They all came with their mothers; Ah Mu was the only one without.

Dan Yi perched on Chen Ziqi’s shoulder, surveying all the new arrivals with a critical eye. Then, on the day Chen Ziqi was scheduled for his audience with the Emperor, Dan Yi disappeared.

Author’s Note: Mini-scene

Qiqi: I’m going to give situational names to my Laogong*

*T/N: (Dafuq I have to do a T/N even for the mini-scenes?!) Here, the author is making a pun on the Chinese word for husband, which is laogong, but instead of using the correct character for gong (老公), she uses the character 攻, which refers to the dominant party in the BL relationship.

Birdie Gong: If the Laogong falls down

Qiqi: The chicken whose legs face heavenward ︿(￣︶￣)︿

Birdie Gong: If the Laogong strips off his clothes

Qiqi: The chicken that lost its skin

Birdie Gong: The Laogong who wants to have sexytime

Qiqi: The chicken ready for launch _(:з」∠*)_

Birdie Gong: The Laogong in the middle of sexytime

Qiqi: The chicken that can’t stop moving

Birdie gong: The Laogong who does it seven times in one night

Qiqi: The spicy chicken! QAQ

Beansprout: I’m sorry, despite my best efforts, this doesn’t translate very well. Please read the raws if you can, it’s much funnier than what I’ve penned above!