CH 22

The next morning, Linghe gave the ice jade cicada to Dan Yi again. Chen Ziqi wasn’t sure if his eyes were playing tricks on him, but it looked as if that cicada wasn’t as blue as it was the day before. In fact, it just looked like a normal, translucent piece of white jade.

“Don’t casually accept the things given to you by the Crown Prince in future,” Dan Yi said impassively, toying with the jade cicada. 

Chen Ziqi understood Dan Yi’s veiled warning. He swallowed nervously. “Was there something wrong with this piece of jade?” he asked.

Dan Yi held it up to the sun. “Not anymore. But yesterday, there was a little worm hidden in it,” he said. He handed the jade cicada to Chen Ziqi for him to have a look, but the latter refused to take it.

A little worm…? For Dan Yi to mention it specifically, it definitely wasn’t just an ordinary worm. Chen Ziqi’s fingertips tingled, as if something had just crawled over them.

“The Crown Prince is out to get me?” Chen Ziqi asked. He pressed his lips together. Could it be that the Crown Prince was still annoyed that he’d eaten a cherry in Zhanghua Temple?

“Not necessarily. Perhaps the person who gave this jade cicada to the Crown Prince was out to get him,” Dan Yi said. He saw that Chen Ziqi looked scared, so he kept the jade cicada out of sight and held Chen Ziqi’s hand in his comfortingly.

A warm feeling spread from their linked hands all over Chen Ziqi’s body, and Chen Ziqi slowly calmed down. “Bloody hell, how dare he try to pull a fast one on me? I don’t care whether he knew or not. Yours truly isn’t going to accept things from him any more,” Chen Ziqi declared.

“The martial arts world is dangerous. Be wary of anything anyone gives you.”

“Nn…”

The two little boys walked hand-in-hand to Chunxi Hall in the morning light, swinging their hands as they went.

Meanwhile, Chang Er had gone to greet the Empress. All the other Imperial concubines were present. The Empress started talking about the Autumn Hunt, and requested that all the concubines make the necessary preparations.

“All princes above the age of six must participate. The Emperor will usually bring two concubines along, but he hasn’t said who yet,” the Empress said, smiling faintly. Her eyes swept in an arc across the gathered concubines. She was already considered advanced in years, and didn’t hope for the Emperor’s favour, but she liked to see these concubines fight for it. She found it incredibly entertaining.

Just as she expected, once she said this, many of the concubines started getting excited. They still stood a chance since the decision had yet to be made. Being able to accompany the Emperor on the Autumn Hunt was a great opportunity to win the Emperor’s favour.

“There are many insects and vermin in the forest. We should get the Imperial Physicians to prepare some repellent powder or medicine for the princes,” De Fei said, thinking of her Third Prince.

“I’ve already told them to do so. If you want some, just send someone to get it,” the Empress said, still smiling that faint smile.

“The Empress is most meticulous,” De Fei said immediately, fawning over the Empress.

Shu Fei was irked by this and changed the topic. “The weather’s getting cold, and we should pack more clothes for the princes. The Fourth Prince is going through a growth spurt again, and the Embroidery Department can’t make underclothes that fit him fast enough. I want to make some underclothes for him personally, but I’m really bad at it…” she said, her voice trailing off. She turned her eyes to look at Chang Er, who was sitting quietly in a corner. “I heard that Chang Jieyu is very good at making clothes. How about you help make two sets of underclothes for the Fourth Prince? Don’t worry, I’ll definitely pay you well for it.”

On hearing this, the rest of the concubines looked askance at Shu Fei. Chang Jieyu was still one of the Imperial concubines after all – was it appropriate for another concubine to pay her to make underclothes as if she were some common embroidery maid?

The Guifei furrowed her brows immediately on hearing this. Saying this in private was one thing; saying it in front of the Empress was quite another. She had expended efforts to get Chang Er into her camp, and with Shu Fei’s meddling, wasn’t she just pushing Chang Er toward the Empress’ camp?

The Empress saw this as well. Before the Guifei could open her mouth to speak, she spoke up first. “Oh, is that so? Chang Jieyu is very good at sewing?” she said.

“Oh yes, Chang Jieyu makes all of the Seventh Prince’s underclothes personally. They’re so well made that even the Phoenix King’s Shizi wanted a set or two,” Shu Fei said, completely unaware that she was putting her foot in her mouth. “I’ll give you thirty taels of silver for a set of underclothes. How’s that?”

Chang Er looked at Shu Fei in disbelief. Did this woman have any brains at all? Did she not know the implications of asking her to make underclothes for the Fourth Prince? Chang Er decided to just speak her mind.

“Shu Fei, did you leave your brains with your shit in the chamber pot this morning? The Fourth Prince is twelve – he’s already at an age where he can marry and have kids. It’s extremely inappropriate for him to wear underclothes made by a married woman who’s not his wife or mother. I’m not sure whether it’s you or me who will lose face if I make underclothes for him, really,” Chang Er said acidly. 

Her words were crude and straightforward. These well-bred ladies had never been spoken to so crudely before, and they were all speechless. Shu Fei herself had turned red as a lobster with anger. “You… you…” was unfortunately all she could manage to sputter, pointing an accusatory finger at Chang Er.

“Chang Jieyu, how can you speak so vulgarly?” the Empress said, her brows furrowing. She did not, however, say that Chang Er was wrong.

Chang Er rolled her eyes. That she hadn’t used a single swear word in that spiel was already fabulous by her standards.

Beansprout: Oh, Chang Er, you are my spirit animal

Shu Fei opened her mouth to say something more, but the Guifei cut in. “If you don’t know how to make the Fourth Prince’s underclothes, then get the Embroidery Department to do it. You’re only asking to be laughed at by saying this sort of thing in public!” she said.

De Fei exchanged a look with the Empress, and they both hid a smile in their long sleeves.

Over at the martial arts arena, Chen Ziqi was being made to practice his archery again, and he was bored to tears. He carelessly shot a few arrows, then looked around aimlessly. He saw Berry Brown practising his archery silently in a corner, and that reminded him of what Dan Yi said. The Taisu Wuxin Gong was designed to be practiced only by women. Only by women…

When Chen Ziqi saw Chen Zimo leave his spot, he immediately put down the one-jun bow in his hands and followed him.

“Where are you going?” Dan Yi asked, tugging at him.

“I’m gonna go pee pee,” Chen Ziqi said softly.

Dan Yi frowned in disbelief. It was obvious that Chen Ziqi was trying to follow Chen Zimo.

“Okay, fine. I just want to see whether Berry Brown has turned into Fuxi,” Chen Ziqi grinned. His words were rather vague, but Dan Yi understood what he meant and was speechless for a moment.

A few heartbeats later, Chen Ziqi and Dan Yi joined the peeing Berry Brown.

Chen Ziqi stole a look at Berry Brown, but coincidentally, Berry Brown had also turned to look at him at the same time. Their eyes met, and the atmosphere started to get awkward. “Let’s have a contest – who can pee the furthest!” Chen Ziqi said.

Dan Yi: “… …”

And so, the three began this very strange contest.

“Hey, Dan Yi, why is it that you always win every contest, no matter what it is?” Chen Ziqi asked, pursing his lips in mild annoyance. He pulled up his pants. He had never lost in a contest of distance peeing before.

Dan Yi raised his chin a little. There perhaps was nothing to really be proud of as the winner of a distance peeing competition, but he still felt a tinge of pride.

Chen Ziqi had also been able to confirm that Berry Brown had not turned into Fuxi. That also meant it was impossible for him to practice the Taisu Wuxin Gong. Chen Ziqi frowned. How was he going to get this brother from another mother out of this sticky situation?

“Did your mum hit you again yesterday?” Chen Ziqi asked, looking at the bruises peeking out from under Berry Brown’s collar.

Chen Zimo nodded woodenly.

Chen Ziqi hooked a finger at him, gesturing for him to come closer. He slung a brotherly arm over Chen Zimo’s shoulder and put his lips to his ear. “Do you know how to pretend to be a girl?” he whispered.

“Huh?” Chen Zimo didn’t get it. He stared at him in confusion.

“Your mum beats you, right? Then pretend that you’ve been beaten silly, and that you’ve turned into a girl,” Chen Ziqi said. He gave a demonstration, pressing his legs closely together and sashaying about, making an orchid finger* with one hand.

*T/N: An orchid finger is a lady’s hand gesture with the tips of the thumb and the forefinger touching and the other three fingers raised (usually made on the stage to show delicacy and grace). Credit to Baidu for this explanation.

Chen Zimo looked at him, light dawning in his eyes as if he had just made a huge discovery. He began earnestly imitating what Chen Ziqi was doing.

Dan Yi stood a short distance away, the corners of his mouth twitching in amusement.

“The Seventh Prince is really kind-hearted,” Linghe said softly. Chen Ziqi had not said it in so many words, but asking the Sixth Prince to pretend to have turned into a girl would effectively remind Cheng Jieyu that this gongfa could only be mastered by women, and that she should stop having unrealistic expectations of Chen Zimo.

“He just wants to see Berry Brown make orchid fingers,” Dan Yi said blandly.

Linghe: “… …”

Chen Ziqi’s suggestion seemed to have some positive effect. Berry Brown looked much better the next few days. 

The Autumn Hunt was upon them before they knew it. The Emperor had decided not to bring any concubines along this round, saying that he wanted to have a grand hunt this round to celebrate God’s appointment of the Crown Prince, and that it would be inconvenient to have the concubines around.

The hunting grounds were in Caoru Mountain, sixty li from the Capital. Caoru Mountain sprawled across a hundred square li, and the hunting grounds marked out for the Imperial family’s use was situated in a forest between several mountain ranges. This forest was specifically chosen because it was less dense than the others and made for better hunting.

To get to the hunting grounds before dark, they had to set off before daybreak.

Chen Ziqi wasn’t fully awake when he climbed into his horse carriage. He fell asleep again the moment he lay down on the soft mattress in the carriage. The roads were reasonably even whilst they were still in the Capital, but once they left the paved roads of the Capital, the carriage started to shake and rattle uncomfortably. Chen Ziqi was jolted into the air when the carriage wheel hit a large stone, and his head smacked hard on the carriage ceiling with a loud thump.

Chen Ziqi sat up, holding his head in his hands. Thankfully, the carriage stopped then. Chen Ziqi pulled on his socks and walked out of the carriage, standing on the carriage step.

“Dianxia, is there anything you need?” the guards outside the carriage asked.

“Carry me to the Shizi’s carriage,” Chen Ziqi said. He looked first at the tall horse carriage, then at the space between the carriages, and extended his arms for the guards to carry him over.

Dan Yi was reading letters from the Cloud Palace when his carriage curtains were unceremoniously pulled open. A prince in dark yellow robes dove right at him and rolled over on the soft mattress, rolling straight into his arms as if it were the most natural thing in the world to do.

“How is your carriage so comfortable?” Chen Ziqi asked indignantly, pressing down on the thick padding in Dan Yi’s carriage. It was at least two times thicker than the one in his.

Dan Yi ignored him. He continued to read the letters, and when he had read the last one, tossed them all into the incense burner to burn. “I told you to come sit with me in the morning, but you refused to. Is this regret I hear now?” Dan Yi said.

“Whose fault is that? Last night you were pressing down on my chest and I had such a bad nightmare! If I want to sleep properly, I absolutely have to avoid you,” Chen Ziqi said, full of righteous indignation. 

Dan Yi looked at him wordlessly for a moment. Last night, Chen Ziqi was the one who insisted they sleep while hugging each other because it was cold. Unfortunately, they’d hugged each other too tightly, and Chen Ziqi now wanted to cast all the blame on him.

Chen Ziqi snatched Dan Yi’s pillow and lay down on it, looking left and right at Dan Yi’s carriage interior. The carriage floor and its four walls were all covered in luxurious cobalt blue brocade and lined with thick padding underneath the brocade. Open shelves were fixed on all four walls of the carriage. Incense burners, books, snacks, and a tea set were placed on the shelves. There was even a retractable table, which at this time had a plate stained with red bayberry stains on it.

The carriages started moving again. In that thickly padded carriage, the bumps and jolts became a pleasant rocking motion, and Chen Ziqi drifted off into sleep again.

It was pitch black by the time they got to the camping ground. They couldn’t do anything other than sleep. The Yulin Troops had arrived earlier to pitch all the tents, so they didn’t even have to do that. The Emperor had his own tent, and the princes all slept in pairs.

“Dan Yi, do you know how to hunt pheasants?” Chen Ziqi asked. He’d slept the whole day, and was wide awake now, running excitedly from one end of the tent to the other. He picked up Dan Yi’s bow to play with.

“You want a pheasant?” Dan Yi asked.

“Yes!” Chen Ziqi nodded. “I want a red one.”

Dan Yi’s hands stopped. He had been unfastening his belt when Chen Ziqi said this.“What do you want something like that for?” Dan Yi asked. 

“I kept a little chick previously, but he’s gone missing these last few days. I want to rear another one to make the original chick jealous. Then maybe the original chick will come back.”

Dan Yi: “… …”

Author’s note: Mini-Theater

Birdie Gong: You dare to say you want another chicken?

Qiqi: Nono, actually I want the original chicken

Birdie Gong: I’m right in front of you

Qiqi: But you don’t look like a chicken right now. How can I tell that you’re that bird

Birdie Gong: I have another bird, wanna see?

Qiqi: Nah, I’ve seen it before ╭(╯^╰)╮

Birdie Gong: … You’re getting too cleve