CH 15

“Madam…”

Madame lowered her head. She probably knew she couldn’t ask for another chance. She knew I was being generous by just reprimanding her and not doing anything else for insulting me.

I sighed and shook my head resolutely.

Honestly, I wanted to send her back without buying anything, but I had to choose something small at least because Kyle had sent her to me. Under the rack, I pointed to a pair of shoes that was exceptionally shiny.

“That one.”

“Yes, Madam.”

Along with Laura’s reply, Madame sighed in disappointment.

“It’s finally tomorrow.”

Maybe because it was the day before I visited Countess Harden, but I’ve been having trouble sleeping.

I sat up and looked around the bedroom, then placed my feet on the ground. Finally, after a long time sitting in such a daze, I saw the moonlit terrace.

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“Shall we go outside?”

No, I shouldn’t. I shook my head, got up, and headed towards the door. I might completely wake up if the cold wind hits me.

If I feel sleepy while walking in the hallway, I can just go back to my room. I wore the robe draped over a chair and tied the ribbon around my waist with that in mind.

I opened the bedroom door and made my way through the long hallway, relying on the lamp hanging on the wall. As I aimlessly walked, I arrived at the hall on the second floor. Just like my bedroom, the hall had a terrace overlooking the mansion’s garden, but this terrace was much bigger than the one in my room.

From what Laura told me, the Duchess often held social gatherings there.

As I reached the end of the hall, the moonlight across the huge terrace shone through the hall. I wandered as if possessed by the moonlight and involuntarily looked away from the cold energy. The oval terrace window remained open.

“Your Grace?”

Kyle was leaning against the railing of the terrace and staring at something. He was dressed in a white shirt that clung to his broad shoulders and lean body. He looked indifferent to dawn.

Did he not hear my call? Kyle still had a faraway look in his eyes.

I didn’t know what he was looking at but judging by his frown, I knew it was bothering him. Who was he thinking of? Hari or Louis?

It felt bittersweet that I couldn’t see him after eating together and only see him from afar. I smiled and stared at him for a long time and only looked away when the chill reached my body.

I didn’t want to interrupt his time. So I turned around to return to the bedroom.

“What are you doing here?”

At that moment, the sound of a voice stopped me in my tracks. When I turned in the direction the voice was coming from, I saw Kyle’s cool expression. His gray eyes were more severe than the moon.

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“Your Grace.” Surprised, I reluctantly walked towards the terrace.

As I approached the terrace, I paused for a moment before continuing. It felt like I was invading his space.

I only stopped walking when I reached Kyle and looked up at him, whose back was against the moonlight. Unlike his usual clean look, his shirt was unbuttoned down to the middle of his chest. A faint smell of alcohol spread over him.

“I was walking because I couldn’t sleep.”

Kyle remained silent as he stared at me with gloomy eyes. I wasn’t expecting an answer anyway, so I put my hands together after running it through my hair.

I pressed my fingertips together. When I was with Kyle, there’s a strange tension in my whole body. It was different from when I was with my father. With Kyle, I felt a heart-pounding excitement.

Since I was interrupting Kyle’s time, I knew it would be unreasonable to suggest a walk. But contrary to my thoughts, my mouth was already trembling as if I would pour out words right away. Instead, I chewed my lips and raised my head in determination.

“Your Grace.”

“…”

“If you don’t mind, why don’t we walk around the garden together?” My voice trembled as I trailed on.

When I didn’t hear a response, I nervously rambled on, “Laura told me there’s an artificial pond, but I haven’t seen it yet.

“…”

“I’m curious, and Your Grace can’t sleep, so let’s go together–”

“I thought you had a good grasp of the subject.”

My heart sank at the sound of his cool voice.

“Are we close enough to walk around the garden together?”

“…”

“Or could it be…”

Kyle approached me slowly, his expression as severe as before. Even if he didn’t speak, I could see his displeasure, his footsteps heavy and pointed.

Kyle stopped at a close distance and stretched out a beautiful hand. Then, with his fingertips, he lifted the robe that covered my collarbone and said, “Are you trying to replace her again tonight because it’s lonely?”

“…”

“It doesn’t matter to me.”

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Kyle stared intently at my disheveled outfit. For a moment, he referred to the day when I became someone else because he wanted to hug her. He dismissed the sad, miserable, and lonely day as a fleeting moment of lust.

I lowered my trembling eyelashes and held back tears. Kyle hated me anyway, so he would hate it if I showed tears like this.

I swept my tongue through my teeth, the feeling in my mouth similar to when I drank strong liquor. I disturbed him with my useless rambling. I should apologize, but my lips refused to do it.

I licked my lips several times, and then the tears that had been pooling in my eyes fell to my feet.

Kyle glanced at me.

“Sorry,” I managed to croak out.

The hand holding onto my robe flinched and soon moved away. I couldn’t tell how he felt because I couldn’t see his face, but he probably found it absurd.

It was probably amazing to see me, a shameless woman, cry at his words. But I hugged you right away because I loved you. I couldn’t even say that. I was afraid he might ask me to end the marriage.

I put my hands together, bowed my head, and turned before I showed any more tears. Although it wasn’t a bedroom, it was such a long-cherished time. Talking to him face to face on the terrace.

I swallowed my tears as I comforted myself that my wish had come true.

“It’s done.”

Lils and Mas, who assisted in preparing me, stepped back and left me alone in front of the mirror. The dress came down, wrapping smoothly around the body line.

I was finally going to see the Countess of Harden.

I chose the most beautiful dresses left behind by the former Duchess and mended them every night for the past few days. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get a dress from Madame, so that was the only way.

Laura was shocked, but the result was satisfactory, so she didn’t say anything else after I promised never to sew again.

“Is it okay?”

As I blushed and smoothed down my dress, Laura shook her head and smiled softly. I turned around, holding the hem of the dress by hand, and stared at Lil and Mas.

“Lil, Mas, what do you think?”

Lil and Mas stared at me in surprise. Why? Did I look weird? As I tilted my head, they hurriedly bowed their heads.

“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t think Madam would remember our names,” Lil stuttered, avoiding eye contact.

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“I’m sorry.”

Their answers caught me off guard. Takan received Laura’s report and gave them a pay cut, but Laura said they thought there would be additional punishment.

Servants who insulted their masters were usually fired, and if rumors spread, it would be difficult for them to find a job. Some nobles even joke around that they prefer servants who have heavy mouths[1] and deaf ears to servants who couldn’t work.

Laura said I was too lenient.

When I didn’t say anything, Lil and Mars looked at me, the two of them looking terrified. Did they think I didn’t fire them so I could harass them?

Come to think of it, I heard that Lil was bullied out of her previous employers’ house. It shocked me that it happened to her before she became an adult, and she only entered the Duchy recently.

Somehow, she seemed to hate me from the moment she met me. Did she really just hate noblemen and not me?

It wasn’t my intention to harass them. I stretched my hand out to her, intending to pat her shoulder.

“Lil?”

Before I could reach her, she flinched and closed her eyes.