CH 20

“Hmm.”

As I rubbed my eyes with my hands, I blinked and looked around the room. Finally, my gaze stopped and focused on one place.

“Your Grace.”

My eyes widened, and I stood up. His Grace, who had always been prim and proper, was sitting in a chair looking disorganized. And in my bedroom, where I thought he would never set foot in for the rest of my life. 

There was a bottle of wine on the table, and Kyle’s clothes were draped on the chair. Kyle, who was drinking and breathing heavily, seemed somewhat decadent and even entrenched.

“Your Grace. How did you get here…”

As Kyle tilted his face, the moonlight illuminated his face. In the dark, his eyes gleamed. 

“I’m just curious,” the deep voice cracked. Kyle shifted his unfocused gaze to his feet. “Do you feel good? Or do you regret giving up the card you were holding?”

“Your Grace.”

“It’s okay to call me stupid. It’s ridiculous, even for me,” he chuckled as he tilted his drink. In the end, he was rejected.

I thought I would be happy if Kyle came to me because he was rejected, but I wasn’t. Instead, I felt unstable, like a storm that’s raging with emotions.

After seeing Kyle looking so pitiful and sad, I hated Hari and even envied her. The fact that she was the one who could ruin him this much.

I pulled myself out of bed and walked over to him. Then Kyle’s eyes, wandering in the air, touched me and shook.

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“Why are you…”

“…”

“Are you crying?” Kyle raised one eyebrow. 

I shook my head weakly and lowered my gaze. “I don’t know. I just am.”

Even though I knew the meaning behind the tears wetting my feet better than anyone else, I avoided answering him. Because I love you. And I don’t like the person I’ve become, who desperately wished for this situation.

Even if I said it a hundred times, you wouldn’t be able to understand the heart that even I didn’t know. 

Swallowing my answer, I knelt before Kyle. My crying face reflected in his gray eyes. “Your Grace…”

It was painful to watch him devastated because I felt like I had hurt Kyle. I put my hand on his lap and rubbed it gently. Was there any way to take his pain away?

At that moment, his voice seeped into my mind like water.

‘I don’t care who you are.’

I stared at him sullenly and asked, “Does it still not matter who I am now?”

Whoever I was.

A spark flashed in Kyle’s eyes before it dimmed once more. He put down his drink and looked at me intently as if he understood my true intentions. How long had it been? His eyes glided to my lips.

“I don’t care who it is.”

“Madam.”

“…”

“Madam?”

I woke up and turned in the direction of the person calling me. Laura looked at me with a worried face. Recently, I’ve been dozing off like a sick chicken. 

I can’t believe you fell asleep as soon as you finished eating. I could almost hear Laura’s thoughts. She gave Lil and Mas a knowing look, and the two immediately left the room with the finished dishes. 

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Laura stopped me from rubbing my eyes with the back of her hand and wiped them with a handkerchief.

“It’s strange. I wasn’t like this before.”

“You must have been exhausted.”

I was already getting drowsy after listening to Laura. No matter how much I slept, I was endlessly sleepy. Unless all the food I consumed contained sleeping pills, It didn’t make sense.

I didn’t sleep much in the first place, and I thought sleeping was a waste of time, so I spent most time sleeping to sew.

And that wasn’t all, was it? I frowned and rubbed my belly. I’ve been feeling pain akin to needles poking me in my lower abdomen for some time now. The pain persisted as if the needle was disappointed in me for not sewing recently. 

It was different from the discomfort I felt during menstruation. I continued to rub my belly and counted the date. If my memory served me right, I was supposed to menstruate around this time, but for some reason, I wasn’t. My cycle has always been regular.

I rubbed my belly with my hand and thought hard. Laura knelt at my bedside. 

“Laura, I think I should see a doctor– What’s wrong, Laura?” 

I observed Laura, blinking at her unusual appearance. She was looking at the ceiling and muttering to herself as she counted something.

“Laura?” 

Suddenly, Laura’s eyes widened as she gasped. Her eyes had turned round like a full moon.

“C-could you be pregnant…”

“Yes?” I waved my hands in dismissal. “I-it can’t be.” 

But Laura’s words echoed in my mind. I rubbed my chest and took a deep breath.

“That’s absurd.”

But Laura’s suspicions were quite reasonable. Laura turned around with a grin, saying she would bring in a doctor.

A baby. I rubbed my abdomen once more; it seemed impossible for life to grow in this narrow space no matter how much I thought about it.

I sat in a daze for a long time, but the door opened suddenly without notice. Knowing that Laura was bound to return, I sat leisurely at the edge of the bed and greeted her, “Laura, the doctor is–”

“…”

“Your Grace.”

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In an instant, my eyes widened. Kyle faced me and hurriedly narrowed the distance between us. He raised his brows as he stared at me. I didn’t do anything wrong, but my mouth felt dry. 

“Doctor.” 

When Kyle spoke, the doctor rushed to me and quickly settled at the bedside. When I looked over Kyle’s shoulder, I spotted Laura bowing her head deeply. Seeing her like that, I knew it wasn’t her intention.

I wasn’t certain yet, but what should I do? Meanwhile, the doctor begged for my pardon as he held my shoulders and laid me down. 

As the lamps hanging from the ceiling shone around his broad shoulders, the glare of the light concealed his face.

What expression did he have? A beating sound echoed in my ear as if my heart jumped up to my head. 

He wouldn’t be happy if I got pregnant, so what should I do? Still, I distractedly answered the doctor’s questions as countless questions filled my mind. 

After a while, the doctor turned to Kyle, and a few words passed between them.

“Are you sure?” 

“Yes.”

As soon as the doctor finished speaking, I heard a deep sigh somewhere. I couldn’t even tell if it was his or mine.

“Laura.” 

When Kyle called Laura, the quick-witted doctor bowed.