Book One Chapter Twenty Five: Costume Change

Book One Chapter Twenty Five: Costume Change

Qube, having hidden herself behind a discreet tree, looked at the Fireproof robe, boots and gloves she was holding, and had to stop herself from doing a little dance in glee. She quickly flung off her robe and boots, pulled on her new outfit, looked down at herself, and nothing had changed.

She stared down at the clothes she was wearing. They were exactly the same as the ones shed just taken off. She looked at her old robe and boots, somehow neatly folded on the ground. Maybe shed put them on wrong? She took off her Fireproof boots, only for them to turn bright red as soon as they were removed.

Strange. She carefully pulled off her robe - same thing. As soon as it was free of her body, it went back to its original bright red flair.

She could figure this out. There had to be some kind of magical activation phrase or rune, something so basic that the others, being connoisseurs of clothing, had thought she already knew. Something shed missed them doing in their super quick changing. Should she go out there and admit to them all that shed never worn a different outfit before? She cringed at the thought.

Clothing activate! she whispered to her robes. Activate clothes! Her outfit remained stubbornly the same. Fire proofing power go! she hissed.

What are you doing? came a most unwelcome voice.

Im getting changed! she shrieked at the Chosen One, and threw one of her boots at his head. It whizzed past him harmlessly, but she still felt a moment of panic that shed hurled a projectile at the Saviour of All.

Im sorry! Im just having some trouble with my outfit. She licked her lips, trying to think of how to get out of this situation.

The Chosen One, who now had his back to her to preserve her modesty in her undressed state (although in actuality she was only missing her boots), called over his shoulder.

Did you want me to ask Sexy Screamy Spider Lady to come help you?

She can't see me! Qube almost wailed. How would that help? The only ones here who can even see me are you and Definitely Bad Guy! Oh, why was it never anyone useful who would see her? The only ones who could see her, other than the Evil Emperor (who, being the one to cast the curse, would obviously be able to see her), were the Dryad Queen/Mother Gothel (who wanted to kill her), the Beast (who was now a wolf), Definitely Bad Guy (whom she was not going to allow to help her change) and that bear.

Her mind felt strange, like she was stretching a muscle shed never used before.

They were the only ones who could see her since the curse had been laid.

The tension in her mind built.

Why were they the only ones who had been able to see her since she had become invisible?

The mental muscle quivered, almost at its tearing point.

What did they all have in common?

It snapped, and Qube knew what she had to do.

Could you please could you please bring Sexy Screamy Spider Lady here? she asked the Chosen One, her legs shaking. Id like to ask her a question.

---

Is it okay if she heals me? Sexy Screamy Spider Lady repeated back to the Chosen One, baffled.

The Chosen One shrugged. Thats what she said.

But my dear, I am not injured, Sexy Screamy Spider Lady told the Chosen One, as if worried about his mental facilities. And, while I would obviously love some intimate healing from our darling little Healer, Im afraid I dont see the point right now.

Please, Qube begged the Chosen One, I really think its important.

The Chosen One looked at her.

Shes begging now, he told Sexy Screamy Spider Lady, whose multitudes of eyes flared in sudden interest.

Oh, is she now? Sexy Screamy Spider Lady practically purred, her stitched-on childrens faces leering.

Qube started to rethink her plan. Maybe having Sewer Bard able to see her wouldnt be too bad after all. He hadnt said anything too weird today, except for when hed started calling her his unseen but not unknown beauty, but hed stopped after the Chosen One said it was making her cry from shyness, a categorically false accusation that had nevertheless been remarkably effective.

Through here, you will be able to reach the Fire Volcano, he said solemnly. Make sure you are well stocked before you set out, for you will not be able to easily turn back. Do not leave the path, or else the heat may overcome you.

Qube didnt see how sticking to the path would help them not be overcome from heat exhaustion. Surely it would be better for them to carry water with them? But maybe the path was made out of something special that conducted heat away from it?

After about ten minutes of walking down the path, the thick jungle-like forest suddenly fell away, and Qube saw her very first volcano.

It was horrifying.

Where there had been verdant green and a riot of colours, now there was only red, brown and black. The blasted landscape was devoid of life, with only a few tufs of strange red leaves sticking out from various cracks next to the pitch black path. Qube only hoped the Chosen One didnt poison himself on them before she could test them.

The path itself was totally and utterly straight, cutting through the dead land that had buckled around it, as if it had been flung down from the skies by a very precise architect. The only deviation was where it reached the volcano itself. Once it reached the base of the volcano it started to rise up, circling up the side of the volcano about half a dozen times before reaching the top of the volcano itself, and disappearing.

From the lip of the volcano there spewed a steady stream of lava. It seemed to burrow underneath the path, creating ribbons of red that slowly met up with other strands and formed rivers of instant death, before pooling around the bottom of the volcano and creating an ever-shifting moat. The only safe way up the volcano was the path and, even then, gouts of lava would occasionally spurt over it, only to be repelled by whatever magic kept that strip of darkness intact.

As if sensing their presence, the volcano rumbled, shaking the group from miles away, and another plume of ash rose to join the ever-present cloud hanging above it.

It looked like certain doom.

Qube snuck a glance at the Chosen One. He was calmly looking around the vista of utter devastation with an expression of mild interest. For some reason, it reminded her of his face when hed tried to kill the Dryad Queen. It was oddly detached, like a painter studying a piece of art. Even though shed known him her entire life, in that moment he felt a stranger to her. What kind of person could be so unmoved by such a scene?

And then he looked at her, and smiled.

Dont look so sad! Dont worry; if you start catching on fire, you can ride Sexy Screamy Spider Lady to the volcano, he reassured her. Im sure shed like that.

It would be my pleasure, Sexy Screamy Spider Lady purred.

Oh. That was the kind of person. An -

-absolute lunatic if you think Im going to ride Sexy Screamy Spider Lady! she yelled at the Chosen One.

Youre right. That stupid Beastkeeper wouldnt let me take a saddle, the Chosen One pouted.

The problem isnt the saddle! Qube yelled.

Ive never needed a saddle to be ridden before, Sexy Screamy Spider Lady added unhelpfully.

I refuse to allow such a deviant to carry her! If needs be, I will carry her! Definitely Bad Guy argued.

It would be an honour to carry such a fair maiden, Sewer Bard said, bowing in Qubes general direction.

Oh honey, you cant even imagine how deviant I can get, Sexy Screamy Spider Lady hissed at Definitely Bad Guy.

No, the Beastkeeper was pretty clear you need a saddle to actually ride, as opposed to just shoulder sitting, the Chosen One told Qube earnestly. You could just sit on anyones shoulders, I suppose, he rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

I have no interest in your vulgar activities, Definitely Bad Guy snorted at Sexy Screamy Spider Lady.

How dare you call such a sensual creature as Sexy Screamy Spider Lady vulgar! Sewer Bard bristled. While her physical form may be of a spider (according to our Noble Patron), her heart is that of the most skilled seductress you have ever met!

Used to be a spider, my dear, Sexy Screamy Spider Lady absentmindedly corrected Sewer Bard, and, even as a spider, I could still teach this prude a thing or two.

Qube stared out at the barren land before her.

Maybe, if she flung herself off the path, she would pass out from heat exhaustion, and not have to deal with this anymore.

Yes. That would be nice.