Book One Chapter Thirty Six: Voight_Kampff_Ish_test

Book One Chapter Thirty Six: Voight_Kampff_Ish_test

What do you want? the Chosen One asked Qube.

Qube blinked.

To be the best Companion, your guiding light, and to help you save the world, of course! she replied with a bright smile.

The Chosen One sighed.

I knew I should have written their questions down, he muttered. Aside from that, he continued before she could ask him who they were. Is there anything you want that is totally unrelated to helping me, or the world, or anything to do with the Golden Prophecy? Like I dunno, being a baker or something?

Qube felt a terrible pressure in her head as she contemplated his question. Well, she had been thinking about her TIMES research. Did that count? But that was related to the Temples, which had to do with the Golden Prophecy, and finding out more about them and how they worked. So even though it was supposed to happen after they were saving the world, that didnt really count, did it?

Maybe in the future, she would find something totally unrelated, but the Prophecy had overshadowed so much of her life that she hadnt very well had a chance to develop anything completely separate from it.

Not really, she said cautiously.

The Chosen One looked disappointed.

But I could! she said.

No, it doesnt work if you only do it because you think I want you to, the Chosen One said. Any interest you develop now would only be a reaction to your perception of me wanting you to do it.

Qube frowned. The Chosen One didnt sound like himself. Maybe he was still not feeling well? Or maybe he was worried about her not being able to cope once the adventure was over? If he was also worried about losing his sense of purpose once they finished their epic quest or worse, he was worried that she would leave him once they were no longer bound together by the Golden Prophecy?

Chosen One, she said earnestly. You have nothing to fear. I will always be by your side. Even if we finish saving the world, I will always be your Childhood Companion.

This did not appear to cheer the Chosen One up.

A warhammer is put on a wooden table. It breaks. The Chosen One looked at Qube expectantly.

Did-did you need me to fix something? Qube asked, confused. I didnt even know you had a warhammer, I thought we sold them all back to the shopkeeper we took them from. And where were you keeping a table? In your backpack?

No, what broke? the Chosen One asked, frustrated.

What? Qube asked.

Its contextual, youre supposed to be able to tell that the table broke.

The table broke?

No that doesnt count, I just gave you the answer!

Where is this table? Is this a riddle?

No, its- the Chosen One gave an exasperated sigh and rubbed his face, its one of the tests they said to do. Humans can tell from a greater contextual understanding that its the table that would break, not the warhammer, even though its not outright stated.

Half-elves can tell contextual things as well, Qube said indignantly, and even full elves. We understand contexts. Thats not just humans.

No, thats not what I meant, the Chosen One exclaimed, I mean whatever. You didnt get the answer. Next question.The source of this content nov(el)bi((n))

Is this a test? By this point Qube was starting to get really worried. Was this some sort of test to make sure she would remain his guiding light Companion? Who were they?

Qube felt the knot of fear ease in her chest. Yes. All was well.

---

As they were walking down the hill towards the metal and rock town, Qube remembered something that the Chosen One had said in her dream.

Oh, Sexy Screamy Spider Lady, she started, I have a question- Sexy Screamy Spider Lady swivelled on her abdomen to look at Qube, but before she could answer, a large metal statue (that Qube had honestly thought was a scarecrow or something) suddenly moved.

Welcome to Construct Crossroads! it creaked, one arm rhythmically waving back and forth at them. Qube suppressed a shriek this construct was in much worse shape than Mr. Clockwork. While Mr. Clockwork had been gleaming new, this construct had clearly been standing out in the field for a very long time. It was covered in rust, and its voice sounded like the rust had gotten into its voice box too.

The Chosen One stopped directly in front of the greeter.

Well, thats just creepy, he said, staring directly into the not-scarecrows face. Right in the uncanny valley.

Chosen One! Qube hissed. They can hear you!

The Chosen One gave her a startled look, then smiled somewhat sheepishly.

Sorry, he apologised absent-mindedly. Its just really impressive how they made them look so unsettling.

Qube paused. She was aware that, given they were constructs, someone must have made Mr. Clockwork and this not-scarecrow. Presumably, there were parental constructs around, but it scarcely seemed fair to blame them for their construct children looking unsettling. And yes, the not-scarecrow was a bit unusual looking, but there was nothing particularly bad about their appearance. They just looked like someone had taken a sheet of metal and cut strips out of it; bending and contorting said strips until they formed a twisted facsimile of a humanoid, then haphazardly hammering it all into place. Unconnected cogs whirled inside the construct, occasionally causing golden lights to glow within, and their eyes were metal cords twisted together, that same golden glow where a persons pupils would be.

It reminded Qube of how the Golden Prophecy would glow when the Chosen One was around. It was comforting. She smiled at the not-scarecrow, then remembered that it couldnt see her. She frowned.

Are you a brave adventurer, come to help us in our time of need? the not-scarecrow continued in a chipper tone.

Sewer Bard strummed on his lute and smiled. Have you not heard of the deeds of our Noble Patron? He has defeated two temples, will overthrow the Evil Emperor, and restore the rightful rulers of our land!

Qube wasnt entirely sure of the wisdom of loudly announcing their intention of overthrowing the Evil Emperor to a total stranger, but she was glad that Sewer Bard seemed more cheerful. The not-scarecrow, however, ignored Sewer Bard and continued staring at the Chosen One. Which, honestly, was a pretty normal reaction to being presented to the Saviour of All. Also, said Saviour was in the process of carefully removing the not-scarecrows tattered top hat from him. Sewer Bards smile faded.

I am his Bard, Sewer Bard continued, and I owe him my life. No matter what dubious characters he aligns himself with, here he shot a look full of venom towards Definitely Bad Guy, with their questionable methods of research.

Definitely Bad Guy gave Sewer Bard back a look equally filled with hatred.

My experiments are masterworks of information, Definitely Bad Guy sneered.

They are crimes against decency, Sewer Bard retaliated hotly. Sewer Bard and Definitely Bad Guy glared at each other in mutual antipathy. The Chosen One watched with keen interest as two of his sworn compatriots stared daggers at each other in silent hatred. The tension between the two was almost palpable.

Qube looked between the two in trepidation. This wasnt right! They were all supposed to get along! Theyd been doing so well, working together like a well oiled machine. But now, now there was this weird energy between the two of them.

The not-scarecrow continued to blankly stare at the Chosen One, ignoring the argument happening in front of it. Qube nearly cringed at the thought of how unheroic they must look, squabbling in front of the towns greeter/ambassador!

Sexy Screamy Spider Lady just bounced on her legs, making her thorax wobble. She seemed singularly uninterested in the storm brewing before her. Qube cleared her throat unnecessarily, drawing Sexy Screamy Spider Ladys many eyes to her. Qube knew just how to defuse the tension.

So, Sexy Screamy Spider Lady. I had the weirdest dream last night, where the Chosen One wanted to ask you: how do you see yourself?

Sexy Screamy Spider Lady blinked, which took a while, given her eye situation.

The Chosen One dropped the top hat hed just taken.

What did you just say?