Book One Chapter Thirty Nine: Chain Letters

Book One Chapter Thirty Nine: Chain Letters

Qube eyed Zincy with growing suspicion. Qube knew how long it took to write. She'd witnessed Alderman crouched over his books, his quill hovering back and forth over a single page for days at a time before a single line would suddenly appear. And Alderman was the wisest village elder in the village! There was simply no way someone could whip up a letter that fast.

However, the Chosen One, having a much more innocent and naive view of literature, seemed unfazed by this clear trickery. This was exactly why he needed Qube around to guide him! The Hero never had spent much time with Alderman, and so was simply less experienced in the world of literature that had tipped the much more worldly Qube off.

Chosen One, Qube whispered to the Hero as he did an about face from Zincy and marched right back to Slate, there is something very suspicious about that Zincy.

The Chosen One looked at her in surprise. I wouldnt have thought your hint system would still be active, he said. Or is this a logic thing youve figured out?

Qube wasnt sure why, but she felt vaguely insulted. She also wasnt entirely sure what he meant.

I have good reason, she started to say, when the Chosen One turned to the other party members.

Hey, any weird vibes from the metal chick? he loudly asked. The group all looked at each other, then around. Sure enough, over next to one of the steam vents, there was a small metal chicken pecking at the air above the street. Was that what he meant by chick? Qube examined the chick carefully, looking for signs of weird vibes.

Like all women, I believe she should be treated with delicate and loving respect, Sewer Bard said stiffly.

If you wish, I can try to take her apart and see what we can discover, Definitely Bad Guy shrugged.

My Dear, are your sweet Healer and I going to have to get jealous? Sexy Screamy Spider Lady shot the Chosen One a smouldering look.

It seemed that, rather than admitting none of them knew quite what the Chosen One meant, theyd all fallen back on their standard responses. Qube struggled to try and think of a reply that expressed the strange thoughts whirling in her head. The Chosen One seemed to have nearly lost interest, given the partys generic responses.

Huh, probably nothing then, he started to say.

Dont touch the chickens, Chosen One! If you do, youll be reminded of your place in the pecking order, tee hee! she managed. She shook her head. Why had that popped up? The Chosen One would never be foolish enough to mess with chickens, even a strange metal one. Everyone knew what happened to you when you hurt a village chicken. A brief memory of the Chosen One being chased up and down the main street, pursued by vengeful fowl, flashed through her minds eye.

That had been long before the Chosen One had been Awoken by the Golden Prophecy. Back when they had been Children Friends, rather than Childhood Companions. Hed been so different back then, so carefree, always living within an acceptable risk limit. Thered been no standing on bonfires, throwing her into the sky, or using her to (maybe?) rob shopkeepers.

But then it was to be expected that changing from a Potential Chosen One to the actual Chosen One would affect him. Qube just hadnt thought it would be so drastic. The sheer confusion he was looking at her with was pretty priceless, though. Then his confusion melted away into an expression of unholy glee and she had to stop herself from groaning.

Wait, youre saying messing with chickens does something? he started to say, before accidentally walking into Slate. The giant Rockie took a couple of steps away, forced back by the Chosen Ones proximity.

Did you give her my letter? Slate asked eagerly. He waited a beat before continuing, I cant believe it, that a girl like her is willing to talk to a guy like me. The letter Zincy had written flickered in front of the Chosen One for a brief moment. Slate pulled an identical looking letter out of thin air and thrust it towards the group. Here, take this back to her. I need to make sure she knows what shes getting in for, with a guy like me.

There was definitely no way that he had been able to read and reply to Zincys letter! Qube was willing to concede that maybe, maybe Zincy had written a letter declaring her love for Slate, and had merely been waiting for confirmation that he was interested before sending it, but there was no conceivable way Slate could have made a personalised reply to a letter he hadnt had a chance to even see.

No, there was something fishy going on here. Qube didnt know what game these two were playing, but she didnt appreciate them wasting the Chosen Ones valuable time. Sure, he was currently trying to circle around Slate for some reason and she was reasonably certain they werent going to be allowed to leave this place until theyd visited every shop, but the point remained that his (and, by proxy, Qubes) time was extremely precious.

Oh, that was beautiful! he cried. Man, I want to unleash you on the internet. That would be amazing to witness. He stood up, wiping tears from his eyes then pulling Qube into a hug.

Ive never been happier with a glitch in my entire life, he declared. You are the gift that keeps on giving.

Qube went bright red, and hugged the Chosen One back. Definitely Bad Guy glared at the Hero, the Mages tattooed hands suddenly wreathed in flame. Sewer Bard and Sexy Screamy Spider Lady looked at each other before both of them shrugged (it took Sexy Screamy Spider Lady a lot longer to shrug than Sewer Bard) and joined in on the hug.

Qube wasnt exactly sure what a glitch was, but she did know that this squishy hug with far too many arms was one of the happiest moments in her life. Even the two love-struck morons making googly eyes at each other in front of the group hug couldn't ruin this.

Why did you two join in? Argh, I can feel her fur-spine-things rubbing against me! The Chosen One flailed about wildly, pulling himself free of their touching bonding moment. Anyway, he said, once he had gotten loose from the hug and brushed himself off, well come back to get the reward from these two tonight.

How do you know that they will give you a reward? And they are clearly Evil! It could be a trap! Qube exclaimed.

The Chosen One stretched his hands over his head as they walked away from the plaza, leaving Zincy and Slate looking each other directly in the face and giving obnoxiously loud sighs.

Meh, theres always some kind of reward with social quests like that, he explained. Even from a street away, Qube could still hear the pair of them sighing at each other. Sometimes its something good, but given how easy that was, itll probably just be some trash-tier trinket. Still, loot is loot, he grinned down at her. And even here I gotta live up to my motto, yknow?

...No, Qube admitted.

The Chosen Ones grin widened. I know; thats why its so much fun, he said. Qube narrowed her eyes at him, which only made him laugh. Now, come on; its time to go shopping! he crowed, stopping in front of a large storefront with a stylised image of a sword etched onto a slab of rock above the door.

Halt, Traveller! an authoritative voice came from a metal tube in the middle of the stores door. Before you may peruse my wares, you first must prove yourself to me by solving this riddle!

Oh [fiddle], the Chosen One groaned.

My goods are too powerful for the common bandit, so to set a bar must be my mandate! the voice squawked.

The Chosen One rested his forehead against the stone door and sighed.

Im going to burn this whole place down, he said miserably.

It would make a good next verse for my epic saga! Sewer Bard said cheerfully.

Im always in favour of heating things up, Sexy Screamy Spider Lady mused.

The fireballs in Definitely Bad Guys hands reignited. I would be very interested to find out the melting point of constructs, he said, his eyes bright red.

Well, Qube supposed, at least this would make shopping more interesting. Maybe she would get a chance to show the Chosen One how quickly she could solve the riddles now!

After all, Qube liked puzzles.