Book One Chapter Fifty Eight: Mascot Acquired

Book One Chapter Fifty Eight: Mascot Acquired

It turned out the maximum weapon capacity of the alcove was about a dozen. After Qube had pulled out the thirteenth spear-like item, it caused a catastrophic failure in the various other weapon-children that Qube had stacked around the place. They jittered in place for a moment, then started throwing themselves around the enclosed space.

Qube quickly fled the alcove, the twin/offspring instruments of death pinging around the place, chasing her as she ran outside.

Chosen One! she called as metal, wood, and rope exploded everywhere. Chosen One, I overbred the treasure! [Lesser Shield]! Her shield snapped into place around her just in time to turn aside a particularly angry bouncing spear.

Why are there harpoons everywhere? the Chosen One asked her casually as she ran full tilt across the room. Also, how are you breeding treasure? Wait, you can breed treasure? his eyes gleamed with avarice.

The harpoon was the treasure! Qube yelled, hiding behind a block as the remaining escaped twins spent the last of their energy.

Oh, the Chosen One was momentarily disappointed, before rallying. Thats right; you can duplicate things. I should really take advantage of that more often. He looked at the harpoons precariously strewn about the place. In a more controlled environment, maybe, he added.

Qube reached up to the Chosen One. He looked at her outstretched hand, then to the loose harpoons. Qube followed his gaze, then gave a defeated sigh.

You know, Squiggles probably wouldnt attack you just for going into her room, she said, already moving to pick up the harpoons.nove(l)bi(n.)com

I wouldnt want to risk hurting your pet, the Chosen One said piously. Squiggles, ignoring him, slorped down into the room and picked up one of the harpoons in her mouth, following Qube around until Qube took it off of her.

Thank you, Squiggles, Qube said approvingly. You are a good pet, arent you? Squiggles wagged her tail, causing a nearby harpoon to restart its riot of bouncing. Careful, Squiggles! Qube admonished the sharktopus, who instantly subsided. I wouldnt want you to get hurt. Although you are a very strong girl, arent you? Yes you are!

A part of Qube wondered about the wisdom of baby-talking the giant abomination that could easily bite her in half, but Squiggles seemed to appreciate it, her little black button eyes shining. A thought struck Qube.

Chosen One, she said leadingly, handing him an armful of harpoons. Squiggles is being very helpful, isnt she?

The Chosen One pocket-magiced the harpoons into his backpack. ...Yes, he agreed, cautiously.

And she is very strong. With good, tough skin! Qube roughly patted Squiggles side to emphasise her point. And she can bite really well!

Because shes designed to eat people, the Chosen One said, even more cautiously.

Exactly! Qube beamed. Who could be more perfect for our party? Some tiny little otter that requires bribes to even join us, or a big, beautiful natural killer who joins out of the goodness of her heart?

You want to keep the monster as a pet, the Chosen One stated flatly.

Shes not a monster! Qube protested. No more so than certain other members of our party! Qube very deliberately avoided looking at Sexy Screamy Spider Lady. However, she could still see her out of the corner of her eye and she was surprised to note that the giant arachnid was looking at Definitely Bad Guy and nodding along. Definitely Bad Guy, on the other hand, was looking at Sexy Screamy Spider Lady and nodding.

Sewer Bard was looking directly at Qube.

Sure, you can keep it

Her.

her as a pet.

Team mascot, Qube firmly corrected him.

Sure, why not, the Chosen One conceded. Why not have the team mascot be a horrifying murder machine. It makes as much sense as anything else.

Chosen One, could I have any clam shells youve collected, please? Qube asked him in an urgent undertone.

Sure, the Chosen One said, slightly surprised, but pulled the clam shells out and handed them to her without hesitation. I thought you didnt want him joining us though?

I dont, Qube said darkly. I just dont want you giving in to its adorable attempts to induce bribery.

Hey! the Chosen One protested. Im not that weak-willed!

Better to be safe than sorry, Qube replied primly. Also, Squiggles might get hungry later on.

Qube didn't know what sharktopi ate, and wanted to make sure that she had plenty of confirmed snacks on hand. She would have to try and collect as much food as possible from the Water Temple, just to vary her diet. And check the library when they got back into Cobbletown to see what other food she would need.

More clams for me? Otto asked, bouncing on his tail on the surface of the water.

The Chosen One looked from Otto to Squiggles. Squiggles was staring at the otter with the endless hunger of a predator. She had started drooling again. The Hero rubbed his chin contemplatively.

Chosen One, Qube said, warningly.

It was just a thought! the Chosen One yelped guiltily. Just, you know, if you were worried about Squiggles going hungry.

Clams on belly! Otto yelled, splashing onto his back and patting his stomach with his little paws. Clams on belly, I give you pri~ze!

I really want that prize, the Chosen One said longingly.

Chosen One, youre not feeding him to Squiggles.

I thought you didnt like him! the Chosen One exclaimed. You thought he would be on the side of the Evil Emperor just because he wants food!

That doesnt mean I want him to become food! Qube replied hotly. We can just tell him we dont require anyone whose services must be bought and continue on our way!

But the prize, what about the prize? the Chosen One almost whined.

You said the prize would just be Otto joining us! You were very definite on that!

I know, the Chosen One said, but what if I was wrong? What about the stupid mascot quest that always appears?

Squiggles can do any mascot quest we come across, Qube sniffed. And she would be much better at it than any otter.

Fine, the Chosen One almost growled in frustration. But if she cant do the quest, we come back here and get the annoying cute mascot, agreed?

Of course, Chosen One, Qube replied with the utmost calm. I would never dream of stopping you from doing what you want. After all, you are the one chosen by the Golden Prophecy.

I you argh! the Chosen One threw his hands up in the air and stalked past Otto, still loudly drumming on his stomach.

Clam me? Tummy-tum? Otto called to the Chosen One as he led his party out of the room.

Shut up! the Saviour of all Human and Human Adjacent Beings shouted at the adorable talking otter, and continued stomping away.