Book Two Chapter Seven: Wing Collection
Sexy Screamy Spider Lady stalked on ahead for a little bit, before slowing down to let Qube catch up.
I was wondering if I could talk to you, Qube said, puffing slightly as she tried to keep up with the Hunters longer strides.
Of course, my dear, Sexy Screamy Spider Lady purred. Has he made a move yet?
A move? Like a special move? Who? The Chosen One? Qube tilted her head in confusion as Sexy Screamy Spider Lady burst out laughing.
Ah, my sweet little innocent, since you have come to me for advice, I shall not tease you. Ask your big sister what it is you desire to know. Sexy Screamy Spider Lady swung her hips, causing her abdomen to playfully bounce into Qubes side. Qube staggered, but managed to keep her feet.
I mean, we might actually be related, if you go back far enough no, thats not what I wanted to talk about! Qube forced herself not to get distracted by thinking about the genealogy of wood elves versus a half-elf like herself. She wasnt actually sure which branch of elf she was descended from her parents had both been half-elves, and had died when she was very young.
All of the potentials parents were dead.
Then what did you want to talk about, my dear? Sexy Screamy Spider Lady clicked her manibles at Squiggles, who was chasing a group of screaming children. Come back, squish, we dont want to lose you. Someone might snatch you up!
Squiggles ignored her and continued her rampage of terror, her bright green bow becoming increasingly lopsided.
I was wondering if you happened to overhear the dev I spoke to, Qube said, somewhat timidly.
Oh, yes, Sexy Screamy Spider Lady said sympathically. That is a hard burden for you, my dear.
I just wanted to let you know that if Im special, you are too, Qube said earnestly. And we each have a role that is important!
My dear, Sexy Screamy Spider Lady said, stopping and putting all four of her arms on Qubes shoulders. You are so very sweet. But I dont need this.
Qube blinked at her in confusion. Sexy Screamy Spider Lady shook her shoulders slightly.
Think about who youre talking to, my love, she said gently. I was heir to the Forest Throne. I could have stayed, and ruled over the kingdom, right hand to the Dryad Queen.
Why didnt you stay? Qube asked timidly.
Sexy Screamy Spider Lady sighed, and let go of Qube. They resumed walking.
I didnt feel like I had a choice. Ever since I was born, I have been bound to the Forest. My parents wanted me to become the next ruler and, lets face it darling, I would have been the best possible candidate. People would love to submit to me. Sexy Screamy Spider Lady flicked her long brown hair over her left shoulder joints, causing several townsfolk to walk into walls.
But I didnt want to be tied up like that. I may have had the spirit of a wood elf, but the curse influenced me. It made me feel wild. And so, when the Chosen One lifted the curse, I felt utterly driven to take that chance to get out of that place. She shot Qube a sly look. Not to mention that I was looking at two of the hottest hunks of meat Id ever had the pleasure of seeing. The Hunter gave a throaty chuckle at Qubes discomfort.
Did you leave the Forest because you fell in love with the Chosen One and Sewer Bard? Qube asked. She wasnt quite sure how one could fall in love with two people at once, but she wouldnt put it past Sexy Screamy Spider Lady.
No, my unplucked petal. But it certainly helped. And, if you ever decide you dont want the Mage, and would rather the Bard, let me know and Ill be more than happy to whisper some advice in your ear, Sexy Screamy Spider Lady crooned. The naughty twinkle in her eyes deepened as Qube started to splutter. Or both at once. That can be fun, too.Read latest chapters at novelhall.com Only
Huh, I could get a girl like that if I worked out my body more, a third worker, this one tall and thin, scoffed. But Im too busy working out my mind and solving the mysteries of the universe.
You wish! Hey, pretty lady, you wanna ditch the hero and get with a guy who can divide by zero? the first worker said, slicking back his hair.
Whats wrong with them? Qube hissed at Sexy Screamy Spider Lady, who was still preening.
Arent you all so cute, Sexy Screamy Spider Lady purred at the men, who collectively started sweating.
Is this a romance thing? Qube asked, her skin crawling. Shed thought some of Sewer Bards lines had been difficult to listen to, but this was a whole new level. Sewer Bard may have relentlessly hit on every female he came across, but he never put anyone down, or tried to make himself seem better than everyone else.
For the first time, Qube appreciated that there might actually have been subtleties to the art of flirtation. And that Sewer Bard, for all his inability to see women as people first and objects of his desire second, at least still saw them as people.
Hey mister jock, if you can beat me at this logic puzzle, Ill give you the wings. If I win though, I get your girl, the first worker said suddenly. He was still looking off into the distance.
These men didnt see Sexy Screamy Spider Lady as a person at all.
They have to give us the wings! Qube exclaimed, outraged. Not even the allure of puzzles could stop her from getting mad at the unfairness of that statement. Tell them they have to give us the wings! We have the Royal Medallion!
Oh my! Sexy Screamy Spider Lady said, flipping a claw through her hair. I wouldnt want anyone to fight over me.
No, Sexy Screamy Spider Lady, no one is going to fight over you! Qube was practically pulling her hair out, trying to think of how to express the alarm bells clanging in her head. This was all so wrong, but she couldnt figure out how to form the words.
Theyre theyre making you an unperson! Theyre trying to put you in a box! she exclaimed desperately. Theyre trying to turn you into a thing to be won!
Sexy Screamy Spider Ladys face froze. All of her eyes started blinking out of sync.
Oh, she said quietly. She looked down at her claws, opening and closing them. Then she looked back up at Qube. Without any further talk, she strode towards the large telescope in the middle of the room. Next to it were a few tiny pairs of wings, miniatures of the version strapped to some of the mens backs. She scooped them up, turned, and then jerkily started walking towards the observatorys entrance.
Are you sure those are the right wings? They look awfully tiny, Qube said worriedly, as she started to follow Sexy Screamy Spider Lady. She looked back at the workers, expecting them to make some kind of remark that the object of the desire had just taken what was surely very magical equipment. Instead they just continued looking at the Hunter lustfully.
Qube wasnt sure how people with such atrocious social skills had managed to secure the funding to build such an elaborate observatory. Nor how they had managed to get through life without meeting women.
As the two women exited the observatory, Squiggles dropped down from where she'd been suckered to the side of the exterior. She bonked into Qube as a greeting, before turning and staring at Sexy Screamy Spider Lady, who was just standing there, holding the wings and staring at them blindly.
Qube looked down into the endless black holes that were Squiggles eyes. Slowly she turned and looked back through the open doorway, where the men were still standing.
They like ladies, she said eventually. But they said they almost never have them visit. Would you like to go say hello?
Squiggles danced in a circle, before plunging into the observatory.
As the workers delight-shrieks started, Qube hooked her arm around Sexy Screamy Spider Ladys left arms, and started the journey back to the plaza.