Book Two Chapter Thirty Seven: Attic Attack

Book Two Chapter Thirty Seven: Attic Attack

Chosen One, come on. Theres no swarms in here to attack you, Qube said, attempting to coax the Hero of all Human and Human-Adjacent Beings into the strange-smelling shop. The last time they had been there the shop had been completely empty. The owner, Apothecary Joycelyn, had wanted to start a new tailoring business, and had needed them to gather some special berries so she could make potions and dyes.

What had once been a silent and still room was now filled with bubbling vats, drying swatches, and various eye-wateringly clashing combinations of clothing and potion colours. Apothecary Joycelyn, who had yet to greet the people actually in her shop, continued to stare unblinkingly at the Hero across the street.

Im not the one on trial here; let those two get it, the Chosen One muttered, his shield and Sacred Sword at the ready.

Qube paused. He was right. This was a job for Sewer Bard and Sexy Screamy Spider Lady she shouldnt be getting involved, or encouraging others to interfere. In fact, that might jeopardise the whole mission if the rulers found out that the candidates had received outside help!

Not for the role of ruler, of course. Given that Sexy Screamy Spider Lady was their only child, the Thorny Crown trial was obviously just a formality, but it could potentially impact Sewer Bards application for Head Guard!

Definitely Bad Guy, Squiggles! Qube hissed, suddenly very aware of just how obviously they were with Sewer Bard. Get out of the shop! Quick, come stand across the street!

As the Mage and team mascot hurried over to her (Squiggles noticeably reluctant to leave Sewer Bard and Sexy Screamy Spider Lady) Qube crouched next to the Chosen One.

Do you think theyll be able to get the birthday present? she whispered.

I honestly dont know, he replied. Thats part of the reason I dont want to get involved. I want to see how far they can get.nove(l)bi(n.)com

Hopefully they can get all the way through the trial, Qube said. She had to resist the urge to go and tell the pair how much she believed in them. Would overt displays of encouragement count as helping? What could she do that wasnt helpful and supportive?

Qubes whole life was helping!

Hello, my good woman, she heard Sewer Bard say. Risking a look, Qube noticed that Apothecary Joycelyn had yet to break eye contact with the Chosen One.

Were here for Snugglepusss birthday present, Sexy Screamy Spider Lady said. Slowly, Apothecary Joycelyn turned her head away from the Chosen One and looked at Sexy Screamy Spider Lady. The Hunter extended two claws.

The birthday present is in... the attic, Apothecary Joycelyn said very, very slowly. Unlike before, where she had been bouncing with enthusiasm and practically tripping over her own words, she now seemed to be struggling to speak. She shook her head slightly, as if to clear it. Yes. Its in the attic. You will have to go and fetch it. Be careful though sometimes I hear bumping in the night from up there. Its probably ghosts!

I knew it! the Chosen One yelled from outside.

Then we shall sally forth into the attic! Sewer Bard sounded more cheerful than Qube had heard him in a long time. Come, my fair Hunter, let us gather the fluffy Snugglepusss well-earned gift!

Quite what the giant, hissing ball of claws had done to earn a birthday gift in the eyes of the Bard, Qube wasnt sure. Surely the point of a birthday gift was a reward for surviving another year, rather than because of any particular deed done on the part of the birthday being?

It felt strange, watching Sewer Bard and Sexy Screamy Spider Lady walk upstairs to the attic. Sure, part of that was because Sexy Screamy Spider Lady kept getting stuck in the stairs and wildly flailing her way free, but another part was because this was the first time Qube had watched the other companions going on an adventure without either the Chosen One or her.

The Chosen One was also watching with keen interest.

So, I know youve been able to trigger flags in quests before, he told Qube, who faithfully tried to follow along, but Im curious to see if they can. I dunno what it means if they can, but something oh, yup, musics changed.

Qube looked around, trying to pinpoint what in their current situation had changed. The music of the environment had changed was it the fact that one of the wood elves pretending to be rebuilding the village had just come around the corner? Had some birds been spooked into flight? What, exactly, had made things different?

She was just about to ask the Chosen One to elaborate when there was a massive thump from the attic, followed by a suspicious silence.

The sight that greeted her was one beyond her wildest imagination.

In the village, there were forest creatures. Harmless, cute, and fuzzy, animals such as hedgehogs, racoons, and wombats would stroll about, occasionally digging up one of the villagers gardens or stealing tasty food before the Rogue could. Thered even been a very big, very blind pig called Francis Bacon who liked to escape and run around the woods until the Potential Chosen Ones and their Potential Companions could catch him and bring him back.

So, Qube recognised the possums in the attic.

All fifty of them.

All of them were facing the floor next to the doorway, standing on their hind legs and swaying, as if to some unheard music. Their red eyes were fixed not, for once, on the Chosen One, but on what Qube quickly realised was a direct line to the street below where the rest of the party were waiting for them. The attics roof was low, with multiple crates piled up, each sporting a cluster of possums. Several of the possums were holding the berries the group had brought Apothecary Joycleyn.

Look at their tiny little hands! Qube tried (and failed) to resist the urge to squeal.

The Chosen One did not seem as enthused about the fifty mesmerised possums tiny little hands.

Theyre like little people hands! Qube explained. But tiny! This, however, didnt seem to invigorate the Chosen One with the expected joy. Instead, he was slowly backing away from the mass of marsupials.

Oh, this is so creepy, the Chosen One said. He looked from Qube, to the dusty crates, to the possums, then followed the beasts gazes to the corner of the attic next to them. As his eyes narrowed, Qube realised he must be making the same calculations that she had. Suddenly, all the possums shifted their fixed stare slightly to the left.

Sewer Bard! the Chosen One yelled, before turning and clattering down the stairs. Qube followed him, and was just in time to see him burst out onto the street and storm towards the Bard.

Hey, so, quick question, the Chosen One said, his casual tone at odds with his fast approach. The party members all turned and looked at him. Anyone wanna explain what the [fiddle] is going on up there? The Hero looked directly at Sewer Bard. Cuz that looks an awful lot like mind control. And I specifically said not to use the fishlady song.

Sewer Bard abruptly stopped playing his lute. For a second he looked genuinely confused.

Forgive me, Noble Patron, he said, sweeping his hat off his head. I thought that applied only to the battle in the Shadow Temple. I did not realise that it was a general ban on the [Siren Song] spell.

I yeah, okay, fair play, I should have been clearer on that, the Chosen One said. Qube beamed at his graceful acknowledgement of miscommunication. But I dont want you using that unless I specifically order you to, okay?

Your wish is ever my command, Noble Patron, Sewer Bard said smoothly. May this humble Bard know the reason for such a request, though?

The Chosen One narrowed his eyes at the Bard. Are you being sarcastic? he asked suspiciously. Sewer Bards face was locked into an expression of polite diplomacy. The Chosen Ones eyes narrowed further.

Its a powerful spell, Qube said, as she reached the Chosen Ones side. Sewer Bard and the Chosen One both looked at her. Is there something wrong with it?

Yeah, its more powerful than you know, the Chosen One said with a sigh. He turned back to Sewer Bard. Look, that spell has side effects, specifically to me. When that mermaid used it, it genuinely messed with my emotions in a way that it shouldnt have been able to. As awesome as that was, and could potentially be, its still too powerful. Its supposed to be fixed now, but its just safer if you dont use it.

I would never use a spell that endangers you, Noble Patron, Sewer Bard said, with his most elaborate bow. Thank you for trusting me.

Hey, what are friends for? The Chosen One brushed off the Bards thanks and clapped him on the shoulder. Now, go check in the attic for loot. Those things creep me out too much.

Sewer Bard sighed.

Of course, Noble Patron, he said, and went back into the shop.