Book Three Chapter Thirty Three: Goldfish Poop 2

Book Three Chapter Thirty Three: Goldfish Poop 2

After that strange, but obviously meaningful, exchange between Sencha Bard and Definitely Bad Guy, the group set off across the hills.

Right, the Chosen One said, halting just before they reached the treeline. Weve got one last Temple, the big showdown with the big bad, and then were done. Was there anything that anyone wanted to finish up before we hit up the final Temple?

Let me check what my book says, Qube said, pulling out A Gentlemans Guide to the Seven Temples and opening it to the passage on the seventh Temple. With a pang, she realised that shed never gotten the chance to buy those new books from Mr. Igmas store and, with the Evil Emperor being in the plaza, she didnt want to return until they were sure he was gone.

The true gentleman must take care when entering this tangled Temple, the guide read. Time turns back upon itself, so that an intrepid explorer may find he runs into himself far too often!

Qube had a sudden, vivid mental image of herself as a child running into her adult self. It would be so amazing to see how impressed her younger self was with her! Not only had her potential Chosen One actually become the real Chosen One, but shed been practically all over the kingdom and met hundreds of interesting people! Why, shed been too busy having adventures to eat in months!

Granted, her younger self might be upset about the death of not only her entire village, but the fact that her Prophecy-assigned best friend was being puppeted by an outsider, however, the rest of the stuff was still exciting enough that Qube hoped her younger version wouldnt be too upset.

Or maybe she just wouldnt tell herself about all the death. As soon as that thought occurred to her she pulled herself up. The Chosen One really was having an influence on her.

No, if her child self asked about the village, she would tell herself the truth, no matter what, and then help herself deal with the emotions. That was what true support was. She just hoped she didnt make herself cry.

I would, if possible, like to continue gathering materials for my epic saga, Sencha Bard said.

I need to think of a name for myself, Sexy Screamy Spider Lady added.New novel chapters are published on

I have nothing I can accomplish without my tower, Definitely Bad Guy finished.

Squiggles just danced.

Id like to go back to Construct Crossroads, Qube said suddenly.

The Chosen One blinked slightly. Oh yeah, that place. I forgot about that quest, he said.

The party had left Construct Crossroads on the brink of civil war, brought about by the automatons creator, the Constructor, refusing to take any kind of responsibility towards his offspring. All the constructs hed made had become convinced that Zincy, a metal construct, and Slate, a rock construct, were dead, despite the fact the two annoying lovers were standing in the middle of the town sighing at each other.

At the time, Qube hadnt understood why theyd been doing that, but after the last few Temples shed started to form vague theories about what had caused their behaviour.

She hadnt meant to make the request to go back to Construct Crossroads, not until after theyd defeated the Evil Emperor, but it had just popped out of her mouth. She had been thinking about them increasingly, she supposed.

I would understand if we dont have time for that, though, she added to ease her guiding light side. If the situation hasnt exploded by now, it might well be able to wait until after.

She didnt feel great about saying that, but the quest to restore peace to the kingdom did take precedence.

While I respect your desire to help out those unfortunate constructs, I would prefer if we went to the final Temple first, Sencha Bard said. I have a feeling he broke off, glancing at Definitely Bad Guy. I hope to have a new song by then that should help us in dealing with the Constructor.

Qube looked at Definitely Bad Guy, who seemed just as confused as she was. The Chosen One gave Sencha Bard a pleased smile.

Yeah, itll be cool to have you finish your personal quest stuff, as long as it doesnt wreck your ability to make new songs, he said. As long as its not creepy mind control [snacks], that is.

No, no, Sencha Bard reassured the Hero. I promise, this will only be physical.

I bet you say that to all the ladies, Sexy Screamy Spider Lady said huskily. The Bard turned to her, his eyes lighting up, and Qube hurriedly intervened before they could start flirt-training with each other.

Time Temple works for me! she said, quickly setting off to the East. Come on, time to go! The Chosen One loped after her, and gently nudged her with his shoulder so she turned more to the right.

I thought you didnt want to lead, he teased her. But if you're going to, at least lead us in the right direction!

And that was when the bear attacked them.

It rushed out from behind the same tiny bush the bandits had been in and swiped one massive claw at the Chosen One.

[Lesser Shield], Qube cast, only to have the spell immediately destroyed by a paw the size of her face smashing into the shield.

Get em, Edwina! the main Bandit shouted, jumping back and forth.

Yeah! Slice em up! Slice em up good! the small one screeched, vibrating with excitement.

Good girl, the big one rumbled.

[Lesser Shield]! Qube cast again as the Chosen One rolled off of Scaley-waley, pulling out his own shield and Sacred Sword.

[By the Prophecy] the [fiddling] thing was a Bear Mage! the Chosen One shouted. The bear roared and swiped again, choosing a more physical attack than one would expect a Mage to use.

But then, who needed fireballs when you were a bear? A bear with very big claws, and massive teeth.

Scaly-waley, rather than joining in the fight, ran, leaving the whole group behind as he bolted back towards Cobbletown. Squiggles, showing up her younger brother, launched herself at the Bear Mage, wrapping herself around the bears muzzle and clamping it shut.

Call it off! the Chosen One shouted, as he rolled out of the way of another attack, jabbing his sword and cutting along the creatures forearm. Sencha Bard had already started singing, his green mana wrapping around the party, while Definitely Bad Guy and Sexy Screamy Spider Lady both launched their attacks at the same time.

[Double Shot], Sexy Screamy Spider Lady called at the same time Definitely Bad Guy cried [Fireball]!

A powerful fireball hit the Bear Mage at the same time as two bolts thumped into its side. The bear gave a bellow filled with pain and rage.

Stop! the big Bandit shouted.

Whats wrong with you? the lead Bandit yelled, dashing up to the bear. Cant you see shes a lady? How could you hit a girl like that?

The giant bear, towering over the trio of Bandits that had rushed to her side, roared again. The trees shook as she slammed a massive paw into the ground.

Yeah, yeah, down girl, the small Bandit said. Easy, easy. Youre all cut up!

The party stopped fighting as the Bandits fussed over the Bear Mage, giving her what they said was their only health potion and reassuring her that her fur would grow back quickly.

Youre real sick, pal, hurting Edwina like that, the lead Bandit scolded a dumbstruck Hero. Why, she found us when we were in a real spot of trouble after we taught youse lot a lesson last time.

Qube seemed to remember the Bandits running away in terror from Sexy Screamy Spider Lady flirting with them, so she wasnt sure what lesson that had been meant to be.

And we nursed her back to health, and shes been with us ever since. Shes a real swell dame, and you go and hurt her like that! Your mother would be ashamed of you!

Imsorry? the Chosen One offered, dropping his sword so it pointed at the ground.

Edwina the Bear Mage snorted at him, and licked the big Bandit whod just pried an unresisting Squiggles off of her muzzle.

I dont know if its this place, or me, the Hero said, staring at the Bandits cooing over the massive Bear Mage. But one of us has definitely gone mad.

It could be both, Qube said helpfully. I think its probably both.

I think, the Hero said faintly, you might just be right.