PAC: the Dating Sim AU

PAC: the Dating Sim AU

BEGIN GAME

Loading

[Input player name]

[Name accepted]

Welcome, CHOSEN ONE! Oh boy, its sure a hot day today, isnt it? Far too hot to be staying home! Its a good thing you and your friends are going to the beach, isnt it? You should get ready! Make sure to pack your [swimsuit], [sunscreen], [water bottle], [towel] and [hat]!

> Look around

You look around your bedroom! There are several items strewn about. A pile of laundry, an open closet, and a depression nest on your bed. What a mess! Dont forget to pack your [swimsuit], [sunscreen], [water bottle], [towel] and [hat]!

> Take bed

You take your bed! Its very heavy!

> Take closet

You take your closet! Its very heavy!

> Eat bed

Processing ...

Oh look! Its your childhood best friend, QUBE! Shes got a tote bag filled with fun things for the beach! Shes looking very cute in a white sundress.

QUBE

Chosen One! Why arent you ready yet? Were you sleeping?

> Say hi

QUBE

Oh dear, looks like you havent packed anything at all!

Qube, being a good friend, packs all your things for you.

QUBE

Did you want to [drive] or [walk] to the beach?

> Fly

QUBE

Tee-hee! We cant fly, silly!

Qube gives you a very understanding smile. What a lucky guy you are, to have a friend who puts up with your terrible jokes.

QUBE

Since its such a lovely day, lets walk!

> No. Fly!

You start to walk to the beach. Its very hot, almost hot enough to make you regret not driving. However, you soon walk past a pop up ice cream stand. A handsome man with a magnificent hat is busking in front of it. His song is haunting and lyrical, evoking summer romance.

> Take hat

You take the mans hat. He looks upset.

MYSTERIOUS STRANGER

Sir! I must protest! Please, return my hat!

QUBE

Chosen One! Thats not very nice! Give him back his hat!

> Eat hat

You eat his hat. It is a very large hat, with a big feather in it. Its uncomfortable, but you eventually manage it. It takes an awkwardly long time. No one looks happy about this development.

MYSTERIOUS STRANGER

Ive heard of someone vowing to eat their own hat, but this is the first time Ive seen someone eat another persons hat! Against all odds, Im impressed! Allow me to introduce myself! I am

[Input name of MYSTERIOUS STRANGER]

> Sewer Bard

IGMA

[Name accepted]

SEXY SCREAMY SPIDER LADY

Looks like everyones ready for our beach date.

She winks four of her eyes at you. Its obvious shes into you. Are you into her?[Yes/No]

[Warning: Saying no will permanently close Sexy Screamy Spider Ladys route]

> No

You have selected yes! She will now be available for private dates.

> nonononono

UNKNOWN PERSON

Excuse me, you are standing in the way of my experiment.

A hot young man with hot red hair and hot red eyes is glaring at you all! Hes also covered in tattoos, so you know hes hardcore! Hes busy frying ants on the beach with a magnifying glass.

UNKNOWN PERSON

Im trying to introduce fire resistance, so they can become fire ants.

QUBE

Oh dear! Do you think I should tell him that fire ants already exist? Since were at the beach, maybe he should try and create water ants?

UNKNOWN PERSON

Water ants? Hm. They could be useful for marine-based battles. What do you think?

> Take his magnifying glass

You take away the strangers magnifying glass. He looks upset at this theft.

UNKNOWN PERSON

Give that back!

> Take out bed

Somehow you still have your bed with you. You gently place your bed on the beach. The waves are crashing and the sun is hot. Its perfect for a summer snooze! The unknown person is still upset. He has taken off his robes, and is now wearing a deep v-cut UV shirt and knee-length swim shorts.

QUBE

Im sorry, sir! My friend can be a bit silly sometimes, tee-hee! My name is Qube, whats yours?

[Input UNKNOWN PERSONs name]

> Definitely Bad Guy

[Name accepted]

DEFINITELY BAD GUY

I am known as Definitely Bad Guy. Since you are all here, I request that you help me with my water ant experiments. It may be the key to winning the next war.

Definitely Bad Guy is looking right at you! Will you [help him create aquatic insect warriors]or [decline]?

[Warning: Declining to create wet soldiers will permanently close Definitely Bad Guys route]

> Eat fried ants

You eat the fried ants. Now you have ant-breath. No one will ever kiss you.

QUBE

Im going to go swimming! Look, our good friend SQUIGGLES is already there!

> Get into bed

You get into your bed. All your friends, old and new, go swimming without you. You dont even get to see Squiggles. None of them date you, because you are undateable.

GAME OVER

***

The Chosen One pulled away from the strange tome hed ordered Qube to take from Mother Gothels cottage. Hed already tried burning the book once or twice, but somehow it always survived. And every time it showed back up, it had a new, horrifying thing to show him.

Maybe he should try burning it again. You know what they say, third times the charm.