Book Three Chapter Eighty Four: Mascot Talk

Book Three Chapter Eighty Four: Mascot Talk

Say family again. Come on. Come on girl, fa-mi-ly!

Everything had ground to a halt. Getting the Chosen One to a Save Point, saving the world, defeating the Evil Emperor who was just up the staircase and behind a massive door, all of it was put to the side while the entire party tried to get Squiggles to speak again.

Squiggles, in a fit of mischief, and over-stimulated by all the attention, was slorping from person to person, happily drooling.

Maybe she needs to be hugging us all again, the Chosen One said as Squiggles bonked her blunt nose into him, demanding more pats.

Squiggles, can you say Qube? Qube asked, crouching next to her pet. Qube? Come on girl, you can do it!

If an outside observer, say the tyrant ruling over the castle, had happened to use their spy powers to peek at the group tasked with fulfilling the Golden Prophecy, they would have assumed that this sacred quest could not be completed unless Squiggles spoke again.

I have some yummy treats for you if you talk again, the Chosen One said temptingly. Yummy treats for a clever girl breaking everything by talking!

Lady Squiggles, Sencha Bard said, kneeling so that he was nearly eye level with the sharktopus. Nothing would give me greater pleasure than to hear your sweet voice once more. Please, I beg of you, speak.

My little sweet, while you dont have to speak if you dont want to, Id love to hear you say family again, Sexy Screamy Spider Briar said with a coo.

All right, everyone huddle up, were gonna try hugging her as a group to make her talk again, the Chosen One said.

But, as anyone who has ever worked with children or animals before can attest to, trying to get one to do what you want wasnt an easy task.

Squiggles. Squiggles! This isnt chasies time! Get back here!

Squiggles, by now wildly over excited, activated whatever spell ingesting the Golden Slime had given her and was racing up and down the impressively large hallway, pausing only when she was too far away and waiting until she was just within grabbing distance before shooting off again, leaving a trail of golden glitter in her wake.

It wasnt how Qube had imagined the moments before their final confrontation with the Evil Emperor would go, but it seemed fitting, somehow, that they were loudly racing up and down what should have been a place of dread, yelling at their mascot.

Despite all the shouting, thumping, and general hubbub, not a single guard came to investigate. Whether this was because all the guards in the castle were under the opposite mind control spell, and thus thought intruder noise was something to not look into when guarding, or the city guards and thieves had secretly started an attack on the castles gate and drawn everyone over there, Qube couldnt say.

She could only be grateful that none of them were there to witness the indignity of the Saviour of all Human and Human-Adjacent Beings attempting to tackle a glittering, crown-covered sharktopus.

Hey, no using spells! Thats cheating! the Chosen One declared as Squiggles once again zipped away from right under his fingers. Come on, you love hugs! Why no hug?

The others, perhaps in the interest of preserving what little dignity the group had left, hadnt joined in the chase.

How are you feeling, love? Sexy Screamy Spider Briar quietly asked Qube, as they watched the Hero race around after the mascot.

Qube considered this question, absent-mindedly rubbing at the tip of one of her ears. She thought about the question for quite some time, but the Hunter didnt press her. She just patiently waited for her friends answer.

I dont know, she eventually confessed. I feel odd.

The fog that had shielded her from her emotions had started to shift, allowing feelings to filter through. First disturbed by the urge to solve the riddles of tradition, then blown away by the shocking revelation that Squiggles could talk. Maybe. Unless the sharktopus talking had been a shared hallucination brought on by too much stress.

The presence of her inner self was still heavy, pressing against her while simultaneously pulling her towards the throne room, but it was manageable.

Was she coping? Or just in denial? It was hard to say.

In a way, she said slowly, figuring her feelings out as she spoke them, I almost feel free?

Her entire life had contained an undercurrent of worry that she wasnt up to the job of being the Chosen Ones guiding light. That she wouldnt ever get to leave the village, that he wouldnt get Chosen, that she would be what stopped him from getting Chosen somehow. Then, once he had been Chosen, her fears had morphed into an underlying dread that she wouldnt be the best Companion ever, that others would do a better job than her, the person who was supposed to be prophecy-ordained to fulfil the role of childhood companion and guiding light, that she wouldnt know enough, do enough, be enough.

Fascinating, Definitely Bad Guy said.

Wha why do you talk for him? the Chosen One huffed.

Of course my baby can talk, Sexy Screamy Spider Briar said proudly. Shes just independent.

So you can say Qube? Qube continued in her mission to get Squiggles to say her name. Of course you can! Youre such a smart girl, I bet you could say it easily!

Squiggles looked at Qube with adoration in her flat, black eyes. Mama, she said, wrapping a tentacle around Qubes ankle. Mama pet.

Qube choked as the rest of the group laughed.

Told you that you were her mama, the Chosen One said, still laughing.

Squiggles looked at him. Papa! she happily announced.

Now it was the Chosen Ones turn to choke in surprise. Uh, no, he said to Squiggles. No no no. Im way too young to be anyones parent.

And Im not? Qube shot back at him.

I okay, fair point, sure, no one here is allowed to be a parent, the Chosen One conceded.

I mean, I might be a parent to a bunch of items, Qube admitted, but that was more me being a ghost, apparently. A ghost midwife?

I dont even want to think about that, the Chosen One said. Lets just stick with the whole no parents thing for now.

Thank you for trusting us with your secret of speech, Lady Squiggles, Sencha Bard said to Squiggles, bowing slightly while continuing to scratch her head. If ever you wish for lessons in elocution, or oration in general, know that you have but to ask and I am yours to command. His smile grew. Perhaps one day youll become a Bard yourself.

Squiggles, worn out from both the effort of talking, and a good bout of chasies, disengaged from Sencha Bard and clambered up onto Sexy Screamy Spider Briars back, then promptly sank into her abdomen.

Night-night, she said, closing her eyes.

Qube felt her heart melt.

You see, Sencha Bard said softly, even though she too is a mascot, and a talking one at that, she is leagues above Otto. Even someone assigned the same role can fulfil it in an entirely different way, and grow beyond that into something that can challenge even the Devs understanding of reality. You have already baffled them many times, and taught them that what they thought was impossible is right in front of them. I encourage you to dwell on this, Healer and childhood companion.

Qube merely smiled at Sencha Bard, not commenting on his speech. Instead she turned to Definitely Bad Guy and tilted her head inquiringly at him.

While she was glad that Sencha Bard had accepted the knowledge that a substantial portion of his personality was a clich, she didnt feel like engaging with him on the matter, or dwelling on anything in particular right now. Her own emotions were still too raw for that.

Definitely Bad Guy? she asked.

The Mage, whod been watching Squiggles with interest, which meant he was staring at Sexy Screamy Spider Briars abdomen, startled slightly when he realised Qube was looking at him.

Ah, yes, he said, lightly blushing. I require more research before I comment on the matter. As it is, initial observation leads me to believe that she has the vocabulary and intelligence of an infant.

Definitely Bad Guy was clearly coping just fine with the discovery that he was designed from birth to be seduced by Evil.

Very well, Qube said, then sighed as her Healer side reasserted itself, and reminded her that, while she technically didnt have to act as a childhood companion, she was still a Healer. She looked up at the grand staircase theyd been standing in front of for nearly an hour, and suppressed the urge to gulp.

Lets get the Chosen One to a Save Point, so he can get some rest. And then the throne room.