Book Three Chapter Ninety One: Adored_Error

Book Three Chapter Ninety One: Adored_Error

If thered been time, between Qube deciding to take Once Adoreds hand and actually making contact, for a conservation to occur, Qube wouldnt have been able to say why shed just done what shed done. Part of it was her need to help people. Another was her deciding that, on some matters, it was right for her to lead. For a short time. Only on those particular matters, though.

And then there was the fact that someone was reaching out to her, and it would be rude not to reciprocate.

But none of that explained the compulsion that drove her. In that split second before they made contact, Qube wondered if this had all been a giant mistake, and she was about to be killed. Or worse.

After all, as proven by the woman before her, death isnt always the end.

Then their hands touched, and reality decided to take a break.

Qube found herself in the in-between space, where everything was numbers and darkness. Somehow, without any magic other than physical touch between two beings who shouldnt have existed in the same space, they had ended up in the between-realm. Tiny numerical corrections were being made every second, leading to a constantly twitching environment.

Once Adored stood out amongst the background of equations, her body practically glowing with the agitated numbers spilling from her. Her rage radiated outwards, unstoppable in its righteousness.

So much anger, Qube whispered. She watched as the words she spoke formed digits in the air before her, then danced along her connection with Once Adored and settled in her body.

Yes, Once Adored replied, the number-words forming around her mouth and skittering towards Qube.

But they never made it to her. Instead they hit a shield surrounding Qube, and clustered against it, scratching to be let in.

Curious, existing in a space between spaces, Qube examined herself. That same shield shed once cast around her mind, when shed discovered her ruined village, still stood, dividing her from the darkness, and the white-haired woman on the other side.

There were several cracks along that shield. Some were so cracked that they were ragged holes. Into those holes streams of numbers flowed from Once Adored. Once they were inside her mental shield they swirled around, crowding Qube, and sinking into her.

Changing her.

What shed assumed was her newly-developed inner self encouraging her more negative emotions, the other half of her coin, was actually the influence of the broken-off fragment of self taken and developed by the Evil Emperor.

Youre not my inner self at all, are you? Qube asked. Even though she knew the answer, it seemed important to ask the question.

I dont know, Once Adored said, sounding lost and alone. She looked around the numbered space, confused. Is this you? Am I inside you?

No, Qube replied, although she honestly wasnt sure. This is the space between worlds. Or something. Im not entirely certain.

They put you here? The equations coming from Once Adored were now even more agitated, jumbling around, rewriting each other. I dont like this place! I dont know it! I dont know anything! What have they done to us? Ill make them suffer! I wont let them hurt you!

Qube watched the world flicker around Once Adored as the undead companion converted fear into anger. The streams emanating from the undead thickened, and tore the holes in Qubes shield wider.

Qube felt the anger infect her, wrapping itself around her, trying to protect her from the unknown threat. Trying to prevent her from being afraid.

Though terrifying in their intensity, all those feelings were dedicated to helping shield her.

I think youre a part of me, she whispered. A shard of her stolen and warped, yes, but still a part of her.

For so long, her sense of self had been pummelled into submission, and pleasantry: Be cheerful. Be helpful. Make yourself smaller, so others can loom large.

It had taken Qube a long time to learn how to be properly angry. How to fully grieve, and experience true betrayal.

How to hate.

In all her adventures, that had been perhaps the most difficult skill for her to achieve. And it was only now, at the end, that shed discovered how to feel all those emotions at once, and still hold onto who she was.

She felt like her mind was unravelling. Shed accepted her counterpart into herself, but now was struggling to put herself back together.

How do you rebuild yourself, when youve been pulled apart and then slammed back together?

Piece by piece.

Locked in that strange world, Qube struggled to put herself back together. It was so hard, and she was so tired. It would be easier if she just let herself unravel, rejected the parts of her that hurt, and ceased to be a single entity. If she let herself fall apart, and melt into the background of numbers.

But her inner flame, the part of her that never gave up, wouldnt let her. She fed her emotions to the flame, her tiredness, her fear, her happiness, all of it. The memories of all her friends, and the hurdles theyd overcome together.

Because she wasnt alone, in this place of darkness.

She had her friends, waiting for her, not just on the other side, back in reality, but right here. Within her.

She could see, now, the part of her that theyd influenced. It wasnt just her own and Once Adoreds numbers within herself. She didnt know how she could read anything, but she could see the fierceness and maternal instincts encouraged in her by Squiggles.

The awareness of being shaped by others, and the importance of independence that shot through her soul was a gift from Sexy Screamy Spider Briar. The reluctance to be treated as an object, or to be content with being what you were told to be. The awareness of romance was also there, as was Qubes horror at it.

Speaking of romance, her perception of tender feelings and how they impacted someone was twined with Definitely Bad Guys energy/numbers. And how badly things could be misunderstood, and a need to find the truth of situations. She couldnt just give up, not when she knew how much it would devastate the others.

Then there was the influence of Sencha Bard on her. Hed been the one to first show her hidden anger, and how to cope when the world didnt go at all the way you wanted. His concern for those oppressed, and his rage against those who had wronged them wouldnt allow her to lie down and let the numbers take her.

Finally, there was the Chosen One.

Everywhere she looked within herself she saw his influence. From him breaking her in the first place, to him constantly pushing her to stand up for herself, think for herself, form theories, exist, take up space. Hed believed in her, even when he shouldnt have.

He was her best friend, and she couldnt let him down.

Slowly, painfully, she reformed herself, guided by the legacies left by her friends. She took in Once Adoreds memories, fears, and angers, and incorporated them into herself. She rebuilt, then improved upon herself.

She finally felt complete.

She wasnt just a companion, or a Healer, or an undead artefact, or a tool to be used. She wasnt a guiding light, or a tradition, or a memory of a childhood.

She was Qube.

And that was enough.

---

She opened her eyes, and looked around. She was back in reality, and everyone was staring at her.

The Chosen One was still reaching out towards her, his face very pale.

Are you? he stopped, unable to articulate the question.

Qube flung herself into his arms, and hugged him as hard as she could. Tears were streaming down her face, although she couldnt remember when shed started crying.

Yes, she replied, and he returned her hug with interest, squeezing her almost as hard as Squiggles could. Who, speaking of, immediately launched herself at Qube and the Chosen One, wrapping them both up in all her tentacles and hugging as hard as she could.

I am.