On Purple Days and What Comes Next (Or, a big fat Author's Note).

Spoiler: MusicJust because I can.

*Sits back with a mighty sigh*

It's over…

I can barely believe it myself... and yet, it's done. Those big bold THE END twins jutting out of the epilogue (man, the chills when I wrote down those words). So, story's over. Why the threadmark? What is there left to say? Well, much like Joffrey at the end of his tale, I find myself wanting to lay down some rambling thoughts on the whole journey—a closure of sorts. Thanks in advance for indulging me

. If you're not in the mood to read me reminisce about stuff, then please jump to the end (I've marked it with a big "HEY"). You see, I've a request for you. Yes, you. No, its not a Patreon

.

So, what to say about Purple Days? For me, it has been practically a second career throughout these past few years. A constant companion through both good times and bad... as it was, I now see, for many of you. I think Joffrey's existential struggle against such titanic enemy was no doubt powered in part by my own struggles in constructing an adult identity, and in finishing my professional degree (which took longer than the fic itself, if only by a week or two. My final exam is scheduled for next monday

), and looking back from here there was definitively a depression or two throughout the long march of all those years*.

I've always loved a good timetravel story, and especially a Groundhog-loop story. The concept of a wiser, better person going back in time to correct the mistakes of their past struck a deep chord in me. Sometimes it was not the 'fixing-mistakes' aspect that entranced me so, but rather the full-bore use of opportunities that you'd left fallow, recognized only years later, unused in the past and brimming with bittersweet what-could've-beens. If only we'd been more mature, more self-aware, could've things turned out differently? And in the here and now, what could we achieve with limitless time? Immortality is often depicted as a curse both in myth and in contemporary literature—a gray forever filled with nihilism and hate, both for the immortal himself and for the mortal denizens which come in and out of his life like characters in a play. The world turns drab and excruciatingly boring. We lose protective innocence and benign ignorance. We lose our humanity and become monsters, obsessed over petty schemes and petty lives. Why such potent horror? Has humanity really figured out the ins and outs of immortality? Or perhaps we have deluded ourselves, saying no to something we can't have regardless? We're better off this way, it'd be a curse anyway. Like a disappointed kid convincing himself he didn't really want the thing he couldn't have anyway.

I often ask myself, would it really be so terrible? Or has inevitable Death, as Nick Bostrom so eloquently puts it in his parable of the Dragon-Tyrant, veiled our eyes? Could we instead grow wiser, more competent, more kind, more humanistic and more knowledgeable if we had more time? Time to perfect ourselves, to perfect our world, to drench ourselves in all those sense-moment-time's that lay in our world, nay, the cosmos, ripe for the picking? Call me idealistic if you want, but I choose to believe that a post-human humanity would resemble more in outlook to that of Carl Sagan's, than to that of Dracula's**.

The other part of the equation was Game of Thrones. Man, what a ride, am I right? I devoured season 1 (don't get me started on seasons 7-8... Actually, please do

) and promptly read the entire ASOIAF series (what we have of it at least). The world, the characters, the plot-twists, it was just insanely fun. GRRM created a wonderful (crapsack) world that served as the framework for my entire story, and I can't thank him enough for that***. I hated Joffrey a lot at first. My first fanficky musings were about a team of spec ops commandoes rappelling down from circling blackhawks into the face of stunned Redcloaks and machine-gunning season 2's Red Keep and all the bastards inside it (Lol). But as I lost myself in the world of fanfictions (boy did I read a lot of them back in the day) I began to think about trying my hand at it, because why not? It looked like fun, and I liked to write. From there I began to muse about the idea of a groundhog-style timeloop with an ASOIAF character. Joffrey was the obvious choice: after all, the lower they start, the higher they can rise, and his relatively young death meant his character was also not set in stone. His position as King left the door open to a lot of interesting shenanigans, and his sadism had an infantile strain that made it seem as if he was a toddler... thus, with potential to grow into a man. Astonishingly, another story with the exact same premise (my friend Duesal's Return of the King) appeared in AH a few weeks after I'd thought about the premise (and never told a living soul. Talk about coincidences). It was the catalyst for me to jump in and try my hand; a slap from destiny as if saying 'what are you waiting for?!'

And so the saga began. I didn't have an ending in mind—in fact, I had no plan at all beyond 'break Joffrey down and build him back up'. The writing was atrocious—grammar was all over the place, descriptions were lame and disjointed, and at parts it got so bad I still cringe today when I read them over. I was having fun though. A lot of fun... and I think some that shined through. There's a lot about the story itself that I could talk about, but I'll leave most of it for the Q&A (more on than later).

The going was hard, sometimes. There were a few times I was sorely tempted to just abandon the story, times when writing barely gave me a tenth of the old oomph... why, I can't say with 100% certainty. The depression(s) definitively played a major part, masking themselves as Author Burnout (author's beware, your muse may actually need counseling), but there was also a genuine exhaustion after so much time and so many words. Gradually, as my craft grew and I became more confident, GRRM's world began tilting from a useful scaffolding to a constricting cage. I had so many ideas for new worlds and characters beyond the scope ASOIAF's lore, themes, and even genre (yeah, even beyond PD's expanded lore), that sometimes PD felt more of an anchor than a release. Fortunately, the core premise that made me write down that blasted prologue in the first pace still shone as brightly as ever. I also kept thinking back on all of you. How many awesome fanfics had I read that ended without warning? Those itch-scratchers that made me lose sleep as I binged on them like a junkie? Sometimes it was upfront, like a door banged in my face, with an AN explaining the reasons. Sometimes it was like a long drawn out stabbing—each new fragment of hope mercilessly quashed as I checked on it month after month for a new update, sometimes years later. I didn't want to do that to y'all, it would've been cruel and a bastard move. Just as important, what would that do to me? Purple Days was the catalyst that made me realize I wanted to write for a living (more on this later)—and how in the hells I was going to call myself a writer if I couldn't even finish one piddly fanfic?! What hope when publishing an actual series? An honest to god trilogy? No way jose, not going to carry that weight of failed expectations for the rest of my (hopefully long-lived) career. And so here we are. Goddamnit but it was hard—entire days watching at blank computer screens (don't do that to yourself), but by the Old Gods I prevailed****.

Anyway, as this fic grew and grew, and I whiled away entire weeks writing***** updates, I realized I enjoyed doing this more than anything else in my life. Sounds cliched, but it was true (more than gaming even, which was saying something). Definitively more than Law (yeah, that one was long year. shivers.), and more than psychology. I loved it. I felt I, don't know, as if I'd been made for this. The one thing that got me to concentrate without the threat of certain death hanging over my head. To pour out my creativity in the written word, finally in a way useful to others*****. I wanted to do this for a living. I wanted it more than anything else in this world. But, as you'all can attest, my writing was not up to par. Nope. I had to git good.

So I cut off my fanfic intake by 75% and set on a diet of trad-published authors, trying to get into my thick skull what they were doing right (and sometimes really wrong. You can get away with a lot of stuff if you put Penguin Random House next to your name). Read scores of 'how-to's' about the craft, some of them awesome, some of them trash. Watched Sanderson's YT lectures******* and other audiovisual stuff. But most of all? I kept writing Purple Days. You guys, with your ideas, your corrections (AAHH THAT GRAMMAR!!! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!), your enthusiasm, your praise, and even your disappointment (*Yi-Ti arc whimpers in the corner*there. there, boy,) were like a whetstone on which my craft was continuously honed. And for that I can't thank you all enough—you who stuck with me through arcs with dubious conclusions and contradicting prologues, you who patiently waited for months as I sorted my own shit so I could get back to writing, you who were with me for the good bits and the bad... thank you. You helped make Purple Days what it is.

And while we're at it, I'm giving another shutout to Rilby and Labinnac , the Russian and Ukrainian (respectively) translators who contacted me out of the blue asking for permission to pass Purple Days into those languages, free of charge. They just loved it that much********.

So, what comes after Purple Days? In a word, going pro. Is my writing there yet? Maybe. I still have trouble with verb tenses sometimes, capitalization keeps tripping me up, and though grammar's armies finally lay defeated, the bastard has deployed guerrillas all over the land. I think English is simple to learn, hard to master (I'm not a native speaker, in case you, ermm, hadn't noticed). Some turns of phrase still sound good to me but weird to natives. Though on the other hand, is writing ever there? I honestly can't say. It can always get better. I look at chapters as little as 20 updates back and still cringe a little. No doubt I'll cringe looking back at the epilogue, 100k words later in my life. The trick is to never stop learning. As long as the curve's pointed up, that's fine by me... and the only way to keep it that way is to publish. And publish again. And again and again and again. This is where you guys come in.

HEEEEEEEEY!!! JUMPERS AND TL;DR'S, OVER HERE!

To all the people hoping I write a fanfic of XYZ fandoms (hilariously, some of which I've never heard in my life. They sound cool though) I'm honestly sorry to disappoint, but I don't have it in me anymore (at least not for now). What I can offer you, is original content. A whole freaking ton of it. From Sci fi to Epic Fantasy to Horror to one very particular mind-ISOT and more, I've been stacking settings and story ideas throughout these past few years like cordwood, promising myself that 'I'll do it when Purple Days is over'. Its a lot, and it'll take years to unpack (and some of them sadly won't make the cut), but there's a whole galore of 'em itching to get out. I'm talking about Victorian-era secret agents waging war across dimensions, nuclear-powered jet fighters defending Earth from asteroids, fantasy paladins making common cause with the undead, Club-goers taking psychadellic pills to enter a masquerade centered on the Song (yeah, that Song), one whole bunch of novels and sagas that's basically Synthwave-the-music-genre made literature and- look, it all sounds silly when you blurt it out like that, but it makes sense in context, I swear. And with so much stuff, there's bound to be something that will eventually tickle your fancy.

But in order for any of that (and more. Trust me. More) stuff to see the light of day, I need to be able to make a living out of the whole equation. You see, the prevailing theory around success for Self-Published authors seems to center around the '1000 True Fans' mantra (or at least, that's the one that makes more sense to me). Theory goes that your first priority as an up and coming author is to gather the people that really love your work in one place. Often through a mailing list or a website you've cobbled together over the years, person by person. As long as a novel nets you a single 'true fan' you can then add to your 'tribe' (mailing list, website, etc), then it was worth it. Why? Because—rule of thumb goes—when you reach 1000, you hit some sort of critical mass in terms of reviews and word-of-mouth, giving you a shot at surfacing through the BILLIONS of fics published on Amazon (and Applebooks and Google and all the rest) every year. The competition is real. Now, this does not guarantee success. It merely gives you a shot at surviving the algorithm so your work is shown to (at least some) prospective buyers... hopefully starting a snow-balling chain reaction if the work is good (there's also a lot of luck involved). A shot... that's all I can really ask. If it was good enough for Joffrey, it's good enough for me... and in between all that theory reading I came to the rather obvious conclusion.

I'd found my tribe already. Most everyone reading this made it past seven hundred and fiftythousand of my words, plus, (at least for some) five years of waiting. If that doesn't qualify as being a 'true fan' then I don't know what the hell does. We just have to make it official.

So, would you be part of my tribe? (sorry, I had to say it like that

). If the answer is yes, then send me your e-mail by private message, and I'll keep it safe and sound in a big list. When I'm on the verge of publishing something I can actually sell, I'll send you the link through that e-mail (I'll also post the news in my profile here and in AH.com, but relying just on that would leave my nonexistant career at the mercy of mods and site administrators. Not that I plan on doing anything banneable in the near future, but that just doesn't sit right with me). What you do then is up to you, but if you really enjoyed Purple Days and would love a way to pay it back, leave me an honest review then (be it on Amazon, Google books, or wherever the hells I publish it... Yeah, probably Amazon). If the algorithm gods are merciful, you'll be the seed that grows a true fanbase! As part of this prestigious(tm) group, you'll also get freebies (basically short stories and/or novellas set within the same universe as the latest work), and maybe behind the scenes stuff. I promise not to spam you, they'll be rare and to the point... anyway, I'm at least a year away from publishing anything, so this is all just seeding the ground.

Thanks for sticking with me so far. This got... a bit longer than I anticipated. This doesn't have to be goodbye though; I'll be hanging out in the thread for the next couple of weeks, answering questions (might want to ping me again if you did and I didn't answer. Sorry!), offering interpretations, and—as the americans love to say—shooting the shit. Fair word of advise though; I'm heavily Watsonian (most of the time anyway) in my interpretation of literature. Purple Days is over. Closed. Whatever I have to say on it, 7 times out of 10, I'll say it as another reader instead of the author.

So, ask away! And send me those yummy emails! (I promise this is not an elaborate phishing scheme 5 years in the making).

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*Don't worry, I sought help and I'm doing fine now. Seriously, get help if you need it. Psychologists are useful, and I'm not just saying that because I spent 5-6 years mashing my head against the subject XD).

**That is, if a CRISPR-tailored virus doesn't wipe us all before the singularity. (Someone for the love of god please invest in biotech safety! Also, protip: check out your amazon smile charity and set it to 'SENS Research Foundation' (they seem legit to me, but do your own research), so you can poach money from Bezos' pocket and send it to researchers. Maybe you'll gift a labcoat to the guys that end up cracking aging. Hope is good and all, but helping is better).

***Even though he hates fanfics with a passion. His reasoning seems to be along the lines of 'Anyone who writes a good fanfic would be better off writing their own fiction and are thus crippling themselves unnecessarily. The rest are filthy shippers doing disgusting things to my characters. UGH, RAMSAY, CERSEI AND JOFFREY?!?! WITH A SPOON?! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?! STOP!!!'.

****If you're stuck on a rut, my advise is to take a break. Write something else. Don't write at all. Then get back to it and just write, even if you keep cranking pure crap. The good stuff is clogged somewhere inside. Get professional help if you feel its not just your writing which is suffering. It did the trick for me.

*****The older hands remember those days. Three 10k updates a week,, week after week. Man that was insane.

******Though I'm also told I'm a fun GM.

*******Cliched amateur writer trope! I know! I don't care! Love or hate the Stormlight Archive, the man teaches really well. Recommend it to all authors here even if they never plan on going 'pro'. Your readers will appreciate it. Sᴇaʀᴄh thᴇ ɴovᴇlꜰirᴇ.nᴇt website on Gøøglᴇ to access chapters of nøvels early and in the highest quality.

********On a slightly hilarious sidenote, the existence of those translations somehow started the rumor that I was Russian or had Russian ancestry or something

. I'm sorry to disappoint, comrades... though I will say this: I think the anthem of the Soviet Union as sung by the Red Army Choir is the most beautiful national anthem I've ever heard. Look it up on Youtube, its better than any Hellmarch.