CH 85

Spending your birthday with your friends is completely different from spending it with your parents.

At home, it was pretty formal. His mom would make dumplings, and there was a sense of ceremony when eating the cake, like something big happened on this day however many years ago. 

With friends, it was basically just a group of people using someone’s birthday as an excuse to have a feast.

Apart from presents and cake, it pretty much had nothing to do with you. Maybe the girls would be a bit more attentive with making a wish while blowing out the candles and singing happy birthday, but as guys, none of them realized that there were no candles, forks, or plates when the cake arrived.

After they finished eating and the cake was brought out, nobody cared about it. Huo Ran just stabbed it with his chopsticks, and before he was even done, everyone else had already got their share.

Jiang Lei slumped in his chair, taking a bit of cake, “If only it was a Friday.” 

“So we can stay out longer, right?” Xu Zhifan said.

“Obviously,” Wei Chaoren said. “And then you can keep going the next day.”

“I’m not trying to ruin the mood,” Xu Chuan said. “But if it was a Friday, we probably won’t be in the mood to party. Midterms start on Monday, guys.”

“Huh?” Jiang Lei froze, “Fuck, really? Already? Why do I feel like I’m always living with the feelings of ‘fuck, exams are soon’ and ‘fuck, I failed again’?”

“So?” Kou Chen was also slumped in his chair, with one leg over Huo Ran’s lap. He also had a drink in his hand, “It’s just midterms, not even finals, much less university entrance exams…”

“Don’t bring that up,” Xu Chuan sighed. “It’s such a joyous day, we should talk about something happier.”

They all laughed.

Apart from Xu Zhifan, university entrance exams weren’t a happy thought to them at all.

But still, they felt that it was still a year away, and there won’t be any pressure as long as they don’t think about it.

Huo Ran glanced at Kou Chen.

He held a glass with a blissful expression like he was drinking baijiu. 

It was actually just sprite.

They only drank a bit of beer, with the rest being non-alcoholic drinks. Old Yuan knew they came out tonight, so they would get scolded for sure if they went back drunk and ran into him.

If it were any other teacher, they wouldn’t particularly care, but Old Yuan was different. Old Yuan really didn’t have anything bad to say about them, even Kou Chen, who leapt down the stairs in three hops right in front of him.

Although they didn’t drink much, just chatting amongst each other put a rosy flush on their cheeks. 

Ever since Kou Chen brought up that question of whether he was useless or not, he felt off whenever university entrance exams were brought up. He didn’t have that confidence in his grades anymore.

He patted Kou Chen’s leg, trying to comfort him.

Kou Chen looked at him, the corners of his lips turning up: “What?”

“It’s still a year away,” Huo Ran said. 

“I wasn’t thinking about that,” Kou Chen tsked.

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Cr atfs kfca yjmx ab rmtbbi klat j mbeqif bo ylu yjur bo yjgyfdef, Bbe Jtfc ralii ofia atja tf kjrc’a mbwqifafis ja fjrf.

Near the dorms, they put the barbeque into shopping bags to disguise them, and Lu Huan and Wu Xiaochen got the message to sneak down and get them.

Watching Jiang Lei give the food to Lu Huan, and then go off to the side to talk and laugh quietly, Kou Chen finally realized why he felt off.

It was Huo Ran’s birthday, and they didn’t have a chance to be alone for a little. 

There wasn’t much to do except talk and laugh, and he didn’t know what else he could do, but he just wanted to be alone with Huo Ran, during some special moment.

He sighed.

Maybe it wasn’t just that.

Wei Chaoren and Jiang Lei both had girls they liked, and they would ask him for ideas from time to time, like what they should do, and what they should say. 

Every time he would patiently give them tips, and even though he didn’t know if they were right or not, it was still better than their own ideas.

If it weren’t for the fact that Xu Zhifan was rejected before he could really even try, he would have three friends that were in some kind of happy situationship. They would grin when their names were mentioned, and he also had to give them ideas.

Why?!

Sighs. 

If Huo Ran was a girl, he wouldn’t even need to think so hard about it, much less take so long to confirm what exactly was up with him. As long as there’s a little bit of affection, he would go for it.

There wasn’t much that he didn’t want to say, just things that he didn’t dare to.

He was scared of being rejected, and even more scared of being let down gently.

‘I can’t accept your love, but we can still be friends.’ 

That was even more fucking humiliating than just getting rejected. Absolutely humiliating.

He couldn’t take that.

After Huo Ran’s birthday, they didn’t have much reason to celebrate anymore. They looked forwards to May 1st, but there were still midterms before that. Their results would directly affect the quality of their Labour Day break. 

So for the sake of their breaks, starting Thursday, four days before, they began to study.

In comparison, Xu Zhifan was a lot more relaxed. He doesn’t slack off as much as the rest of them, so he didn’t need to cram so hard.

Kou Chen was also very relaxed. He sleeps during class, goes to the bathroom after class, and then hits the convenience store after meals. He lived leisurely like this all the way up until midterms, almost even more than he usually was.

He could cram a bit if he was in the mood, and aim for a passing grade for as many classes as he could, but this time he really wasn’t feeling it at all. 

His head felt full every day, unable to fit in one more word.

Only Huo Ran saw that he was on edge under his relaxed demeanour.

“Didn’t you say your dad doesn’t care about midterms, only finals?” Huo Ran asked. “Did he say something this time?”

“Not really,” Kou Chen frowned. “He just asked when they were. He’s never done that before. For a while, I didn’t think he even knew they were a thing.” 

“Read a book then, you can ask Xu Zhifan if there’s something you don’t get. He’s pretty good at explaining.” Huo Ran said.

“Nah,” Kou Chen said.

Huo Ran looked at him: “Do you have to be so stubborn?”

“Impressed, aren’t you?” Kou Chen glared at him. 

Huo Ran sighed and didn’t say anything else.

Kou Chen didn’t know what was up with him. He can get a couple of marks by just flipping through his textbooks, or he could glance at someone else’s paper, and it wouldn’t result in him only getting a 40 or 50. There were only two tests with a mark that began with a ‘6’.

Huo Ran stood with him as he was waiting at the gates for Kou Xiao to pick him up. 

“My hands are cold,” Kou Chen said.

Huo Ran didn’t say anything, he only grabbed his hands and rubbed them: “How about… I go over to yours?”

“Why?” Kou Chen looked at him, “If my dad’s serious, not even the two of us would be able to beat him, we gotta add Chuan-ge at least.”

“…Who’s trying to fight your dad?!” Huo Ran was kinda speechless. “I meant, he wouldn’t actually hit you in front of me, right? I thought he liked me.” 

“With these results,” Kou Chen patted his backpack, “Even my sister could beat me to death, much less him.”

“Kou Chen,” Huo Ran squeezed his hand. “Are you… okay?”

Kou Chen glanced at him.

Huo Ran quickly said: “I was just asking, I wasn’t saying you aren’t.” 

“I’ll tell you later, when I can.” Kou Chen blurted out.

“Huh?” Huo Ran turned to him, a little surprised, but he nodded, “Okay.”

“What if I never say it?” Kou Chen raised an eyebrow.

“I’ll sell you into the mountains,” Huo Ran also raised an eyebrow. 

Kou Chen laughed. Just talking like this with Huo Ran could make him forget a lot of his worries for a bit.

But those worries quickly returned with Kou Xiao’s arrival.

“Are you coming, Ranran?” Kou Xiao asked. “I’ll drive you home.” 

“It’s okay, I have to go get something at my mom’s work.” Huo Ran smiled.

“Okay,” Kou Xiao said. “How did you do?”

“…I passed.” Huo Ran said.

“What about Kou Chen?” Kou Xiao asked again. 

“You can just ask me,” Kou Chen said.

“I don’t dare.” Kou Xiao was still looking at Huo Ran.

“Just… same as before, a… pass.” Huo Ran said.

“Okay, got it,” Kou Xiao nodded. “Then we’ll be going now, stay safe, Ranran.” 

“Got it.” Huo Ran glanced at Kou Chen.

Kou Chen was leaning on the window in the passenger seat. He winked at him, and then smirked.

Kou Xiao specifically asking about his grades destroyed Kou Chen’s last bit of hope. 

“Is dad at home?” He asked.

“Yeah,” Kou Xiao frowned. “I told you before, he hasn’t reached that point yet. He isn’t actually fine with you doing whatever you want.”

Kou Chen clicked his tongue, biting his finger with his hand beneath his chin.

“Don’t be so stubborn,” Kou Xiao said. “Mom and I will defend you, just say you were wrong and go along with whatever he says, understand?” 

“Mhm.” Kou Chen nodded.

“Don’t argue back, at least not today,” Kou Xiao turned to him. “Understand?”

“Mhm,” Kou Chen pointed forwards, “Watch the road.”

Back at home, Kou Chen could feel the tension in the air the second he stepped through the door.

Shuaishuai didn’t even jump up to greet him, he only stood by the wall and wagged his tail.

“Hungry?” His dad was sitting on the couch, “Your mom bought a bunch of desserts today, want some?”

“Okay.” Kou Chen took his shoes off and glanced at the table. He grabbed a small slice of cake for himself, and another for Shuaishuai, “Shuai, come.” 

Shuaishuai ran over and opened his mouth.

As Kou Chen was about to toss the cake in his mouth, his dad asked: “How are your midterm results this time? Have you improved?”

The cake landed on Shuaishuai’s nose, and slid to the floor.