Chapter 50

[I started a second translation! It’s called Didn’t Know General Was Female and it’s a lighthearted GL story, if you’re into that. It’s almost a complete 180 in terms of tone and content from this one, haha…

The update schedule for QC will remain unaffected by it, natch.]

The horse Jinzi’s riding was the best in the Residence before Hearth came; a particularly lively black stallion with a glossy coat, its most unusual features being its long mane that reaches its knees and tail that shoots to the ground, reported to be the horse named Xiaoshao from legend. [1] Jinzi is young, and even though he ordinarily likes to play the part of a deep thinker, he’s still a bit fond of rare horses and famous swords, so I gifted it to him when there was no cold war in the past few days.

The three of us trotted our steeds in a roundabout way to the mouth of Redcloth Lane. Luo Meng is scarily efficient, having had the 6,000 men gathered a long time ago, all completely quiet and clad in black armor, the very image of a dignified armada. They’re also waving a blue banner with ‘Shao’ on it, making it seem more like they’re on the battlefield rather than making someone pay their debt.

Though Redcloth Lane is called a lane, it’s one of the most well-known streets in the Northwestern section. This strip is home to the capital’s major aristocrats; the Xue’s ancestral home is just a street away from this, for example. Redcloth is expansive and beautiful, with a large expanse of vacant land outside of it. Even with 6,000 people standing in it, it’s only a little bit crowded. Each district in the city is strictly divided and commoners cannot enter this region, so there were no bustling crowds, only extreme quiet with the desolate feeling of something brewing in the air.

Luo Meng welcomed me when he saw me. As he had changed into armor, salutations would be inconvenient, and he informed me of this grave sin. Before we went with the army, Luo Meng said, “Today to assist Sir Zhang. Put all your heart into it, brothers, and General Shao won’t be treated poorly!” There was a loud and uniform boom of agreement.

I gave a light smile and said, “Thank you for your trouble, everyone,” and not a word more.

I know for a fact that every one of these sergeants is aware of my status, reputation, and relationship with Shao Qing. Army men are bloodthirsty and 9 out of 10 of them probably look down on me, so I won’t talk much to avoid inviting disgrace.

These soldiers’ military discipline prevents them prevents their eyes from wandering, but I can still see the light of fleeting glances cast my way. There’s disdain, and curiosity, and… yearning, but there’s actually a lot of gazes that pass over me and land on Jinzi, who acts as if he doesn’t see them.

Liu Chunxi also scurried over to us, and we all set off for further down the Lane.

The Li home had of course gotten wind of this long ago. Their vermillion gates were shut tight and surrounded by the armor-donned, spear-grasping Yulin Army. Their plating is red, their lances sharpened, all shining in the sunlight. Were it not for me thinking that that the flamboyant feathers decorating their helmets were hilarious, they could have each been said to be outstandingly valiant.

Oh my, is this the stage of an epic siege? Yet the Yulin Army here is only five or six hundred people. Furthermore, how could these wealthy and pampered flowerpots compare with Shao Qing’s war-fettered troops? It’s not as if one of them could do the work of ten, y’know? Seems the Li family didn’t expect that I would borrow Shao Qing’s forces. Did they think I’d only bring a few minor soldiers? Considering I had only heard that the Yulin Army was large in number, this will apparently be a total knockout fight.

“Close the Li family in, not one is allowed to get out!” I whisper-shout.

Luo Meng seems to guess my thoughts, and whispers into my ear, “Rest assured, Sir. Even if all 20,000 of those nitwits in the Yulin Army were here, we would be more than their match.”

I turn my head and smile at him, vexed by the fact that today isn’t going to be good. This is an inverted situation of the raid on the Jia residence in Dream of Red Mansions except that the Li family have the support of an army, and will inevitably devolve into a street war and such. I don’t know how many people will be alarmed by this afterwards, nor what troubles it’ll incur, but this is the stake I’m making.

The army silently closes in, sans the sound of their movement. I’m stationed at the forefront, face the Li’s cinnabar-lacquered gate directly. The Yulin Army is already hurling abuses from their side, giving the appearance of toughness while being a real bunch of disorderly cowards.

The officer heading the Yulin walks out, coming in front of me and yelling, “Who are you? Are you wanting to rebel?” His attitude is completely arrogant and boorish.

I said nothing. Luo Meng lashed out and slapped him in the face, scolding, “Blind bastard! How can you not see that this is Sir Zhang, High Scholar Zhang? Who are we? Can you not read such a big flag, either?”

The man had probably wanted to confuse me with an initial pretend show of strength and got slapped instead. He holds his face and wants to get angry, but doesn’t dare to upon seeing the army behind me, gritting his teeth and bearing it. “Sir Zhang, this low one’s eyes failed to recognize a famous figure and offended you, please don’t blame him. This low one is in armor and cannot salute you properly, Sir.”

I smile coldly. “You’re excused. Go and notify that General Zhang, High Scholar of the Longtu Pavilion Zhang Qinglian, and attending official of the Ministry of Revenue Liu Chunxi have official business.”

The officer mouths something to a soldier behind him, who runs with heavy steps to the door knocker, his armor clanking and reflecting the evening’s ruddy sunlight. The glare dazes me somewhat, my palms faintly sweating, the group around me silent. I took a deep breath and warned myself not to be nervous.

The door creaked open and a gatekeeper stuck his head out of the crack. The soldier whispered a few thing to him and he ran back in. We wait at the entryway, Liu Chunxi taking out the Ministry of Revenue’s account stubs and sorting the list of debts for me to thumb through.

At this moment, some servants rushed out to open the gate wide, and then out came a pile of hanger-on chamberlains who were escorting two people. I see an old acquaintence among them; the comparatively younger 30-something is the Li family’s second son that had harrassed me at the Everfragrant House some days ago. Looking at his eyes bloodshot from excessive indulgence, a nose red enough to have people suspect him of alcoholism, and his loathsomely luxurious costume paired with his oiled hair and powdered face, makes me disgusted enough to want to go kick him to death.

The other is slightly older, around 40 or so. His face is squarish and he looks similar to the second Li, but looking at him from the right angle, his clothes aren’t so exaggeratedly extravagant, and his complexion is a bit sallow. Luckily he isn’t bloodshot or rosacea’d, but his gaze is dark and threatening. I like this guy even less.

He’s surprisingly the first of the bunch to smile, greeting us and say, “We hadn’t know Sir Zhang was honoring us with a visit and failed to come greet him as a guest in person. Forgive us, forgive us.”

His little brother discordantly sneered from the back, defiantly offering no greeting.

Playing good cop, bad cop? That’s a tactic I’ve use a lot myself.

I smile faintly and say blandly, “No need to be so polite, Eldest Master. This official and Sir Liu of the Ministry of Revenue really aren’t here for a friendly visit, just purely for business.” I recall that the eldest Li son only has the empty title of Officer Yunqi [2], and holds no real political position.

Eldest Li didn’t expect me to cut to the chase and can’t help but stare. “We don’t know what advice Sir Zhang has to give?”

I don’t make a sound. Second Li barks a laugh and says, “What’s the use of asking? Look at all this. Sir Zhang led troops to surround our home, so he’s naturally come to seize it, break down our doors, and frame good people. Is that not what he normally does best?” His tone was malevolent, and after he saw my face clearly, his eyes abruptly widened, the obscene hint of boundless, drooling desire passing through them and into my own.

I beam at him. “You must be joking, Second Master. Zhang here is no good at that, and if he truly was, he wouldn’t try it on the Li family. This official is here only for serious matters today. General Luo and his group merely accompanied me along the way to come see the spectacle.” I then turn to Liu Chunxi. “Sir Liu, please explain to the Li sons.”

Liu Chunxi responded by coming forward, taking out a list. “According to the Minstry of Revenue’s accounts of debtors, Sir Li Minguo has accumulated a total debt of 427,600 liang. Because of the flood and military costs, the three Guardian Ministers of the Court decided that by weishi (1-3PM) tomorrow that all officials of every department are required to hand in their share of the debt to the Ministry of Revenue, with violators to have their property seized. Sir Li is thusly the foremost debtor, and as a Guardian Minister, relative of the Emperor, and a pillar of the nation, Sir Li is asked to be the first to set an example and pay back the owed silver.”

The Eldest Li already has worry amassed on his face. “My father is handling our estates and farmsteads outside of the capital. We need a while to raise the money, please extend it to three months.”

Does he really think that this simple wounded gazelle gambit would get me to leave? I laugh coldly at him. “Three months? Are you unaware, Eldest Master, of how many refugees will starve to death with even a day of delay on that money? Are you unaware that the soldiers on the borderlands are running out of rations and are going to fight on empty stomachs? The Li family wants me to give them three months, everyone’s going to want three months, and after those three months, I’m afraid all that’ll be left is a wasteland of starving people and a pile of countless bones!”

The Eldest Li had no words. The Second Li stamped his foot like a spoiled child and shouted from behind him, “A Court Minister hassling His Majesty’s grandfather for a debt! You lowlifes are really ruining this country’s dignity! If you can’t take the money, you’ll have to take a life! You sure have the skill to take that away!”

The Eldest Li stopped him, and spoke to me with a cupped fist. “In your opinion, Sir Zhang, how should this be dealt with?”

Hey hey, the Li’s eldest is keeping down his annoyance, and he knows to dress his words softly to give himself a position of logic and sympathy. How very fearsome, and completely different from his idiot brother.

My expression sinks, holding a solemn appearance. “It’s not as if Qinglian wants to make life difficult for a fellow official of the same hall. This matter concerns countless citizens’ lives and the peril of the country. To be a villain is alright, and a money-grubbing lowlife is fine. Qinglian will bear the infamy.”

Following my fervent declaration, I continued on. “Citizens are currently homeless and suffering, their lives hanging in the balance, searching for watery congee and rice porridge to temporarily fill their stomachs and extend their breathing yet cannot, looking for a humble shack or straw canopy for reprieve from the elements yet it’s chronically harder to do than climbing to Heaven. The day they must trade their children for food is fast approaching. Eldest Master, you have captured government coin that should have been used to aid the victims and save people from disasters to live a huge mansion with a spacious courtyard, and wear silk and satin garments adorned with gold, pearls, and green jade; how could this not disappoint the late Emperor’s Empress? How could it not disappoint the realm’s people? This meager official must ask that you two bring your unnecessary gold, silver, and valuables from within and place them into the public’s purse for the time being to make up for it. Also, this estate is very large, with too many servants – please move into a simpler and quieter dwelling as well.”

When everyone heard that I really did want to raid Li Minguo’s house, they all couldn’t contain their shock. Not only was the Yulin Army whispering, but even Liu Chunxi and Old Tian were looking at me in astonishment. The only ones whose faces didn’t change were Jinzi and Luo Meng.

The Second Li was trembling with anger, and those hanger-ons were helping by throwing in their own curses.

He barked out, “Pah, my family’s aristocracy goes back seven generations! I don’t think for a second that a slutty catamite like you could dare to make a move on the Li family!”

I scoff, saying to the Eldest Li, “Eldest Master, if the Li family is unwilling to cooperate of their own accord, then I’ll have no choice but to hand it over to the next people. Their methods are rough, so don’t blame me for any lost face!” Turning my head to give a signalling look to Luo Meng, he issues a simple command, and the black-plated troops began to set in to the Li family’s large home. The Yulin Army shouted and raised their blades to block them, both sides ping-ponging away.

The difference in strength between the two sides is too great, and not even a few minutes later, the several hundred Yulin troops were tied up on the ground with no casualties, only a dozen or so people seeing red.

Luo Meng’s troops pushed aside the Li Residence’s servants to charge into the interior. The Second Li’s eyes rapidly reddened, and he gave a devilish cry. “I’ll take you down too, shameless whore!” He ferociously threw himself at me as if he’d gone mad.

I just stand there at first; seeing his vicious scarlet-eyed visage coming towards me so aggressively scares me into actually forgetting to dodge.

I am very weak in physical confrontation, not to mention that my body is currently in poor condition. Though his body type is that of someone whose insides have been scooped out and replaced with liquor, he was still born with the height and strength of a horse, and as he comes from a military household, he’s always known of the fist, staff, blade, and spear, and seemed to be wanting to send me to my grave like his life depended on it. Everyone behind me didn’t have enough time to react, exclaiming out in unison.

I’m frightened into a cold sweat, but when danger was about to strike, his body came to a dead halt.

A short sword was pressed against his larynx, held with extreme precision. A bead of blood seeped out from where the point was placed. The Second Li’s legs softened and trembled in fear, but he didn’t risk falling to his knees, nervous sweat pouring down him and throat bobbing as he gulped.

Everyone looked at the sword’s owner to see Jinzi standing there as nonchalant as the clouds and as quiet as the breeze, completely at ease as if the weight of this was nothing, and that what was in his hand was not a weapon that could sentence someone to death in an instant. He merely grasps it like one would an embroidery needle, wind bllowing over a face that was as clear and cold as water.

Mess with the wifey and you get a stabby.

[1] From Dongfang Shuo’s Text of Divine Marvels (Shenyi Jing): “In Dayuan is a fine horse named Xiaoshao (萧稍, lit. “a little gloomy”), whose mane goes to its knees and its tail to the ground.”

[2] 云骑尉 – lit. Cloud Rider. That’s badass. I want that title idgaf if it’s meaningless