Chapter 141 What's The Point Of Me Living



On the day I made the contract with Isabelle, my sole purpose for living was to take revenge on the humans who had taken my mother's life.

As a result of Isabelle giving me the prohibition to kill, I found myself able to hold back my hatred for humans. I became more mindful and cautious in my actions, ensuring that I did not kill people. However, that all changed when Isabelle passed away, leaving me to seek refuge at Felicia's home.

During my stay with Felicia, I slowly realized that humans like her exist. She showed me kindness and compassion. My once-vehemence against humans slowly dissipated through her behavior, even though I still don't trust them.

Looking back, I am… maybe very grateful for Isabelle's and Felicia's acceptance. Without them, I could have spiraled further down the path of destruction.

But even so, the pain in my chest was still there, and I knew the way to get rid of it was to remove all this hatred by venting it out on that person—the one who killed Mother, Leofric.

However, Leofric didn't die at my hands; someone else killed him.

Instantly, the hatred inside me exploded, and it disappeared as soon as I saved Felicia.

But since that hatred is now gone...

Because this sense of vengeance has also disappeared...

I was now empty.

An empty shell with no purpose in life.

What should I do in the future?

Leofri is dead; I no longer need to become stronger.

Looking back on my life, I couldn't help but feel that everything I had done had been in vain. My purpose had vanished, leaving me with a sense of hopelessness. That night, I had decided to end my life. However, I could not follow through with my plan due to Felicia's intervention.

She reminded me of something my mother had once told me: that I should live no matter what. Her words struck a chord, and I realized I still had a reason to live. My mother's wishes were more important than my despair, and I need to make something of my life again.

Living... What then?

What's the point of me living?

...

Allen found himself lost in life, unsure of his purpose. He decided to accompany Felicia to the academy to gain clarity, hoping that time would heal his uncertainty.

However, upon awakening on morning, he saw Felicia fast asleep—a sleep that would last three long years. With this dark twist of fate, he realized that his plans had crumbled, as Felicia would no longer be able to attend the academy. Deeply distressed and without direction, Allen blindly followed Rachel's daily orders. But come afternoon, he would go to Felicia's room, sitting listlessly with nothing to occupy him.

"Allen, you're fired."

That's when he knew it was too late. There was no time to think, and it was unlikely that he would find any purpose in staying at Felicia's house.

So he nodded in agreement and left.

Suddenly Rachel stopped her. Then Rachel asked her to return to the house one day when Felicia was awake again.

It was like Rachel was trying to give him a new purpose, but it wasn't a reason to live. As Reynold had said, he was no longer needed in that house. Felicia might be safe because she wouldn't leave the house, so she doesn't need a knight. Without Allen on her side, everything was still going well; he was useless, not the person that this house needed.

But once they were outside Reynold's room, Rachel said.

"This knife, the symbol of the Boldenville family. A symbol of the lady and knight's relationship. But the lady must not have had that in mind when she gave it to you. To her, it was an invitation to be friends. She just wanted you to be her friend and stay by her side. Allen, I beg you… please come back to this house before lady wakes up. Even after 3 year passed, lady Felicia will still go to academy, and she will need you."

Allen held the knife tightly. Then he pulled something out of his scarf—a rope.

The rope was tied to the knife, and then he tied it around his neck.

"This way, I won't lose it," Allen said.

Rachel smiled, then said

"Allen, I believe that you can come back here."

Rachel repeatedly gave Allen reasons to come back. She wanted to say that the house could be a "home" for him, but the one who owned the house was not her, and Allen was not treated well in this house, so there was no way she could say that.

Allen was still expressionless; he didn't answer Rachel, turned around, and left.

Before leaving the house, he stopped by Felicia's room on the second floor.

In that room, Felicia was sleeping gracefully on an expensive red bed. Allen gently approached her, then reached up to Felicia's face.

He carefully brushed away a strand of hair from her serene face. As he stared at her for a moment, memories of his time spent with Felicia flooded into his mind.

"I'm a noble, you know! Of course I can do it!"

"What the hell! Why are you looking down on me like that! A noble like me can do it easily!"

"You are finally awake, Allen. I thought you were dead. Well, actually, I don't care whether you live or die, but I'm glad you're awake. Be thankful! It's all because I saved you."

As Allen remembered Felicia's words, her face, and all the annoyance that came with it, a heavy sadness weighed on him. Despite this, he managed a smile and spoke sincerely to her sleeping form,

"You really are a wonderful person. Of all the humans I've met, you're the most wonderful human."

He walked to the door and opened it, hesitating as he glanced back at Felicia. She lay undisturbed, caught in a peaceful slumber. For the last time, Allen whispered a heartfelt goodbye.

"Goodbye. I wish I could have been with you longer."

Closing the door behind him, Allen left the house. As he made his way to the outside world, a stream of emotions overcame him, leaving him feeling hollow and melancholic.

[ILLUSTRATION]

...

Allen, who had nowhere to go, decided to just return to the Barkaley's region. He wanted to return to his dungeon and look back at the house he had previously left.

To go to the Barkaley territory, Rachel helped him find a merchant train to the Barkaley territory. Since Rachel vouches for Allen as a great bodyguard, he can ride on the merchant train as a bodyguard. Before leaving, Rachel also gave him something else.

A license plate.

"This is proof of your citizenship; you are now a commoner with this plate, so you can easily enter Barkaley territory during the inspection. It was a gift from Lord Reynold for your contribution during your stay in his residence."

"Okay. Goodbye then," Allen said.

"Not goodbye. But, see you again."

Allen did not reply; he left with the carriage heading to Barkaley territory.

The merchant wagon was carried by a man from the south coast with his grown son. They were selling spices bought from the seaside town to the northern region. They were supposed to hire two dungeon explorers to escort them to the Barkaley region, but since their merchandise didn't sell well in the Boldenville region, they didn't have the extra money to hire more people. Then Rachel came to them, offering the former knights of the nobility something free of charge. All they needed to do was provide Allen a food and a ride to the Barkaley region.

They thought they were lucky to get that opportunity, but as soon as they saw Allen, the smiles disappeared from their faces.

"Dad, are you sure you're still going to Barkaley territory? What if some bandits attack? Due to Prince Eldritch's announcement last week, relations between the nobles had soured, and the roads leading to each region became deserted."

"What can we do? We don't have any money. But like our previous trip, let's hope there won't be any bandits attacking."

"We've been tricked by the nobles again; such a small child, how could he possibly fight a group of bandits by himself."

"Hush! Don't speak out loud, if he listens to you, he might report the matter to the noble he serves!"

"Before he does that, we just need to dispose of him. He definitely won't survive out here alone."

Half a day passed, and just as they feared, a group of bandits came to intercept them. The bandits also came by carriage. Which meant their movements were organized.

"Hey, I'm tired of saying this over and over again, but you already know what's going to happen to you, right?" said one of the bandits.

"We're really going to let you go; just leave all your stuff and return to the city. We'll both benefit equally."

eaglesnovɐ1,сoМ The father-son merchant couldn't do anything; they raised their hands and nodded to leave.

"HIIII! I TOLD YOU WE'D BETTER NOT GO IF THERE ARE NO BODYGUARDS!"

"HEY LITTLE BOY! DO YOUR JOB!"

Allen stood up and pulled the dual blade from his scarf.

"Have you guys run out of money to hire a kid like this?"

"Scram kid, no need to fight; we don't intend to take your life. The slave trade is currently in decline, and it's a bit troublesome."

Allen then replied:

"I have no desire to kill you; just leave us."

The bandits looked at each other's faces, then laughed.

"HAHAHA! KIDS DO LIKE TO JOKE AROUND!"

"We've changed our minds; we'll capture and sell you all!"

Letting out a disappointed sigh, Allen said

"I see. Then I have a reason to kill you now."

-SYUT

Allen threw his sword at the bandits. His dual blades stuck right into their foreheads.

Everyone was stunned to see Allen in action. And as soon as the two corpses fell, everyone immediately drew their swords from their sheaths.

"FUCK YOU!"

"DON'T MESS WITH US!"

Without any fierce determination in his eyes, expressionless Allen unsheathed his sword and charged at the bandits, taking them by surprise. One by one, he sliced through their ranks with expert precision, leaving the air thick with the scent of blood and the sound of battle cries.

As the bandits lay dead at his feet, the others looked on in stunned silence. With a flick of his wrist, he hurled his sword at the remaining thieves, striking them right between the eyes and silencing their screams forever.

The energy of the fight was palpable, the tension mounting with each passing moment. So much so that even the normally composed merchant was shaking with fear.

Looking at Allen, the merchant who underestimated him was now scared. What Allen does is so brutal that it makes them unable to stand. What scared them the most was that he did everything without expression, slaying people without feeling anything, like he didn't care about people's lives.