Chapter 13. Everwood VIII

Chapter 13. Everwood VIII

Suffer. As I have suffered.

I screamed. I screamed into unconsciousness. I screamed as the deep dark drug me backward and the voices whispered.

Again

I screamed at the voice.

I didnt want to go back.

Meat.

I was just meat.

Meat to be consumed by whatever happened to kill me next life. And the next. And the next. The demons face chased me through the darkness and into the light.

Gentle hands shook me awake.

"Boy-" Maya trailed off, flinching as I held her to me, my entire body shaking. I could still feel the teeth, tearing me apart. I could see the eye that watched, reveling in my pain.

"Sorry. Im so sorry."

I wasnt strong enough. I would never be strong enough. The gods chose poorly. This was it. This was all I would ever be. Teeth. I could feel the teeth. I felt the teeth the sword and the dagger the fire and they burned me and pierced me and tore me bled me dry until all that was left was a wretched husk of a thing I once was that screamed into the void begging for it to end-

Arms wrapped around me. They cut through the tempest of my mind. Maya held me. She didnt know me, but she held me all the same. A soft hand stroked the back of my head, nails brushing my scalp. Nails.

I saw Barions arm, bearing the dozens of scratches. My chest tensed again, wrought with guilt.

"I shouldnt have left you."

Maya knelt in front of me and touched my face. Her eyes were confused, but warm. "We have all left others behind. We can only move forward." There was such compassion in her face. It was almost enough to hold back the storm.

Almost.

The images began to return. I shook, my skin crawling. Maya released me and looked deep in my eyes, searching for something. Then her hand glowed green. "Peace now. Sleep, Nilend." Though it happened before in a very different context, I did not fear her. Her fingers brushed my forehead and I fell into a deep, dreamless slumber.

"I dont know whats wrong. He was fine. Ate like a dragon and drank like a horse." Barion snapped. I could hear him talking outside my door.

"Well he is not fine now," Mayas muffled voice countered, "Whatever happened, he is fragile. I will tend to him but you must give me space to do so."

"Fine, fine. This whole thing has been a waste of time anyway, whats a little more? Fix him." Footsteps stomped away. Maya entered with a steaming tray. Her scowl immediately brightened when she saw me.

"Youre awake."

"I am," I said, easing myself up on my elbows. It was strange how much better I felt. "What did you do to me?"

Maya nearly fumbled the tray. She placed it on the side table and stood back, the savory scent of tomato soup made my stomach rumble. Maya held her hands behind her back, her cheeks pink. Her tail moved back and forth in a lazy half-circle.

"I am a life mage. Healing is my primary talent." She said. I took a spoonful of the tomato soup and found the warm broth delectably salty as it warmed my mouth and throat.

"Thats amazing. Ive never met a healer before. You must bring in a killing." I smirked at her.

Maya sniffed, "Oh yes, all the room and board I could want." Still, she seemed pleased by my comment.

"I-" I froze, remembering the depth of my pain the previous night. "Why am I like this? The last time we spoke-"

"Your mind was fractured. I have seen it before" Maya wrung her hands. "Life mages are not limited to physical healing. We can also tend the mind."

Oh no. What had she done?

Maya must have seen the alarm on my face. She cut in quickly, "I didnt change anything. You are still you. It is called psyo-genesis. When a person goes through a traumatic event, sometimes the mind gets stuck: they relive the moment, over and over. I would normally ask permission, but you were so"

Broken.

She didnt have to say it. I knew. I looked inward. It was still there, a dark mass roiling in my heart, but it no longer threatened to consume me. I could stand against it. I would stand against it. I would fight.

"Thank you," I said. It felt like a vast understatement.

"You are not angry with me?" She looked surprised.

I chuckled and fell back against the bed, my hand on my forehead. "Angry?" As if I could be angry. It was hard to fathom. "You saved me, Maya. I will not forget it. I swear it to the Elder gods."

A heavy silence hung between us. That particular oath was not made idly.

"I will not ask what happened to you" Maya said in a voice that betrayed curiosity, "but I do wonder, when I first met you, you mistook me for someone else."

"By yourself, I mean. With Maya gone back to her people and me in Whitefall." I clarified. I was treading dangerous water but could not resist the subtle jab.

Barion drained his glass in a single gulp and pushed it aside. "I am always alone, Cairn. That is the path Ive chosen. Even now, with the two of you here. I am alone." His voice was low. I went to take his glass, but he put his hand on it to stop me. "Leave it. Bring the bottle." I did as he asked, hoping all the while that he would drown in it.

I found Maya pacing in my room. She turned to me, her eyes red. "You need to-"

She stopped mid-sentence as I held a finger to my lips, indicating the door. She shook, and shivered, and looked like she was about to explode. I grabbed a blanket, opened my window and stepped out onto the roof. Maya followed me, taking my hand as she stepped onto the bed and through the window. She folded her legs beneath her and sat, a silent tear running down her cheek. I covered her shoulders in the blanket to shield her from the cold. She cringed at the touch, then relaxed. Her breathing steadied.

I sat beside her. We looked out into the clearing and the sky above. For once, there were no clouds, and a thousand stars shined brightly. I thought of Annette and Sera, of my mother, and wondered if they were looking up at the same bright sky.

"Why are you so kind to me?" Maya asked quietly. There were many reasons. But none I could articulate.

"You sure you want to know?" I asked. "Its heavy."

"I want to know."

"Well, you see" I paused dramatically, trying not to smile as I saw her in my peripheral vision, shifting uncomfortably. I turned and looked straight at her. "This is all part of my master plan to seduce you."

The resulting silence was perfect.

"What?!" Maya squawked and leaned away from me.

"Its true." I said seriously. "Now, Im only twelve, and I havent gone through puberty yet, but I figure if I keep this up-" I nearly bit my tongue as her small hands pushed me viciously, nearly toppling me off the roof.

"Okay! okay, I give!" I held my hands up in surrender.

Maya started to giggle, quiet at first, then louder until her laughter echoed across the field.

"Gross. So weird." She said, wiping tears from her eyes.

"How you wound me, my lady." I held a hand to my heart. She fixed me with a long-suffering glare.

Then the levity was gone from her face, instead twisting into something painful.

"Cairn, you have to go."

"I didnt think youd take it this badly."

"Im being serious," she said. "Barion isnt what you think."

"I know," I said.

"He-" she stopped. "What do you mean?"

"I mean I know."

"Know what?"

"I know about the cellar. The children. I know hes torturing them, trying to make them awaken."

"How?"

I thought about telling her the truth. But it was too much. It was hard for me to believe most days. "Lets just chalk it up to me being a nosy bastard."

"Then why are you still here?" She asked, bewildered, "Why did you not run at the first opportunity?"

"Im going to talk. Just lay some things out. Let me know if I get anything wrong." I leaned back on the palms of my hands, gazing into the night sky. "You take care of them. The children. You heal them and try to make sure Barion doesnt go too far. You want to leavethis isnt what you signed up for and Barion scares you, but you cant because who will take care of them if you go? And somewhere, some part of you is terrified because youre sure, one of these days, that youll be the one in the cage."

"How" Maya sniffled beside me, arms wrapped over her legs, face tilted down. "Yes. Thats all true. I should have fought him. Stopped him somehow. Im a terrible person."

I reached out and pulled her into a sideways hug. "Its not your fault. Theres no world where anyone but Barion is to blame for whats happening here. Youre a kid," I said fiercely, surprised at my own conviction.

"Youre a kid." She rubbed her eyes with both fists irritably, "Why are you talking like youre older than me?"

"My father always said I was terrible at acting my age."

"And you never answered my question. Why are you still here?" She searched my face, scared to hope.

"Because Im not leaving you here, Maya. We get out together, or not at all."

"But I cant," Maya said desperately, "Im all they have, Cairn. As long as Barion is here I have to stay."

"Then theres only one option."

I smiled at her.

"We get them all out."