CH 21

“You don’t know that you are being used right now. No matter how warm and tender his smile is, you shouldn’t believe it. You don’t know how quickly His Highness decided to establish the Bureau of Technology. He is a man who is determined, for his gain only.”

Suddenly, Iveca remembered Daniel’s firm statement, that all interests were prioritized over ideology. She didn’t know that the idea that she’d envisioned, was only a means of stability for him. No wonder, she would be a useful tool for Daniel. Although she ignored the fact that she had already known, she still felt bitter whenever it came to mind.

Iveca shook her head, not willing to share her doubts with Anrig, “He is a good man. He has always been by my side. He cherishes me.”

“If he cherishes you,” Anrig replied through gritted teeth, “he wouldn’t have done something like that. He shouldn’t have put your name on something like that, thus making you a target for countless enemies. I was in the conference hall and Your Majesty has quoted everything that you have in place to quell the backlash; an aristocrat, a queen, or even an employee of an affiliated organization! Now, look at the results, in less than a day, you were almost dead. Don’t you know that it is just the beginning?” Anrig shook his head in frustration as he continued, “Let him go, Ive. Just say you want a divorce. You should run away right now.”

“I don’t want to!” She shouted.

“Ive!”

“I have already sworn my loyalty to His Majesty since I was in the Bureau of Investigation.”

“You aren’t in the Bureau of Investigation, right?”

“Nevertheless, I made that decision in the past. If any confusion arises, I will follow my judgment.” She glared at him stubbornly. “He said I did well. Each of the ten clauses was written carefully and with deep consideration. He is someone who recognizes and acknowledges my efforts, together with the rest of the Judicial Affair Bureau staff. So, I want to do better. This is something that I can do well.” Anrig frowned upon recognizing certain desperation in her voice as she continued to protect Daniel, “He said he would always be there for me. We are partners, we are on the same side.”

“Please, Ive.” Anrig held his forehead as he tried to reason with her, “How many times do I have to tell you that you shouldn’t fall for His Majesty’s sweet words. During the battle for the throne, he met all kinds of noble ladies, seducing them with the possibility that they could sit on the queen’s throne. He gave them false hope and emotional torture, but in the end, none of them were to his liking. It is too easy for him to say sweet things to a woman.” Her heart pounded and fell as she listened to his words that cut like a knife.

“In addition, I told you before that there is another woman that he was seeing. You wouldn’t even be able to begin to imagine how close they are.” EJ’s name came to mind and Iveca bit her lower lip as he spoke further, “Should I explain more so that you are sure? The woman was called to the palace every day, so that is why I know her well. She is the same height as you and also has the same purple eyes as you. It’s uncanny how similar you two look and he might be looking into your eyes while thinking about her.” Iveca didn’t want to hear about that anymore and she shook her head involuntarily.

“Your Majesty is looking for the missing woman. Do you think His Majesty will still say sweet things to you once she returns?” Seeing her eyes trembling, as if she were about to cry, Iveca continued to push her, “She was a woman with pale blonde hair like your sisters. She was fierce and confident…”

“Stop! Just stop!” She yelled, unable to listen to another word. She didn’t want to hear any more of what Anriq had to say and she raised her hand to cover her mouth, choking back tears. The words she had heard could never be erased.

Anrig was surprised to see the tears in her eyes because he had never seen Iveca cry before, nor had he ever seen her looking so vulnerable.

“His Majesty and I are in a relationship that is far from something called love, since the beginning, and you don’t need to get involved with this.”

Anrig took her hand and lowered it, and without letting go of her wrist, he spoke gently, “Put your hand on your heart and think again. There is no way that someone as observant and good at reasoning as you, have never noticed this. Don’t you feel any sense of incompatibility with His Highness? Truthfully?”

She couldn’t answer. Although Daniel knew that she could not be pregnant, he still held her every night, up until this day, and talked to her about a successor. It was hard to say that the tremendous pleasure that he gave her, in private, was one of her motivations to give her heart to him so carelessly. As he’d said to her, it was only the two of them in this world, so they had no choice but to feel a strange bond between them.

Even though Daniel knew exactly what her situation with Anrig was before, he’d never asked about it, not even once. But he also still used the same pen he’d been given by EJ; a complicated man – with no one ever knowing what he was thinking.

When she couldn’t answer, Anrig spoke again in an exasperated tone, “The consequences of every sweet word he’s said will remain unchanged. You stand on your own by His Highness’s side and face every danger directed to your name. Why don’t you know that?”

“He said it was okay to be bold. He said that he would become my family, even though I couldn’t prove my worth. And he told me not to do it if I didn’t want to, and he said that he would trust me until the end. You don’t know how much His Highness has comforted me.”

“With those words, in the end, you were just following him like a trained dog. He knew from the beginning what kind of position you were in before, in the Count estate. He knew all the words that he could manipulate you with as he could see you were vulnerable.”

“A word that could make me vulnerable? Everyone knows that unless you are an idiot.” Her voice trembled. Seeing his frustrated expression, she continued to speak slowly, “Still, no one ever said it to me like that, not even you.”

“Ive. I…”

“I… I liked you,” Iveca said while catching her breath. Anrig’s expression hardened as she continued, “But the moment you let go of my hand, I think I must have forgotten you. I guess I knew that you were not a good man for me. So that’s why I didn’t even look for you during those four years.”

“Ive.”

“Now I think I understand why I did it that way, Anrig. You were my only friend, I couldn’t help but like you…. but in the end, it was me who left you.” At that moment, Iveca stopped talking. Looking back, Anrig let go of her wrist, which he was still holding on to, unconsciously.

Suddenly, the picture hanging on the wall next to the bedside was pushed aside, and in a flash, the King looked down at them coldly.

“Your, Your Highness…, W, Why?”

Daniel sat on her bed, staring at them intently and an awkward silence filled the room. As Iveca stuttered, unable to finish her words, he said with a grin, “For some reason, I was curious as to whether or not you slept well. I was wondering whether you are in pain, or feeling scared, or in case you couldn’t sleep, I thought I should be chatting with you…. Well, this is what I felt anyway.” His words sounded casual, yet calculated, as they broke the silence in the room. Iveca felt as if she were being pushed to her limit by all of this and a feeling of panic began to rise within her.

“You may not have been aware of it, but it’s the first night we haven’t been together. I miss the Queen.” Iveca trembled more because he was smiling, and her mind went blank. She couldn’t think of a reasonable explanation as to why this man was here.

At two o’clock in the morning, after telling the King that she wanted to be alone, she’d secretly invited Anrig, who happened to be her first love, to the Palace. Even if she was going to be killed like this, she had nothing to say.

Anrig knelt immediately and his voice trembled as he too was embarrassed, “Your Majesty, Ive, I mean, Iveca is not at fault. I apologize for my life.”

“Ive? Iveca?” He laughed as he looked down at Anrig, and Iveca was afraid of his carefree smile as her body involuntarily shook. She didn’t know what she was afraid of. The kind words that he’d said at the scene of the accident, about how he’d always be by her side, lingered in her mind.

“I am the only one in this world who can call the Queen by her name,” Daniel said firmly, and there was anger wrapped around each syllable, not matching the artificial smile which was similar to that of a doll. “Please explain how you can call her a name that even her father couldn’t call her, that recklessly?”

Iveca saw him speak informally to his subordinates for the first time and it shocked her that he was able to speak so terribly. Would the gentle gestures that he showed when he used to brush her hair, his friendly smiles and warm words, disappear forever? Even if it was an illusion that would disappear one day, she didn’t want to let go of that warmth and kindness now.

She was sincere when she’d told Anrig that she couldn’t leave Daniel. After all, he’d become her only comfort, even if that was his plan all along, even if the goal was actually to keep her from leaving him and so he could use her as his chess piece.

As the situation unfolded, Iveca suddenly felt the urge to grab him and hold him, even plead to him that she would do better, she would do much better. She didn’t know to what extent she would be useful, but she would do the best that she could. Doubt was not something that could be cherished by someone emotionally below you in the first place. It was not until the end that Iveca had realized the fact that she had a sense of incongruity, which in itself was a luxury.

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Daniel forced a smile and spoke quietly again, “Leave in secret and out of people’s sight. I don’t want to make an issue of this. It is because I do not want to inform the Bureau of Investigation of a matter that would be a weakness for the Queen. If I give you a little discipline, the Bureau of Investigation will step on my tail.”

“Your Majesty, what I am trying to say is…”

“Get out!” Daniel cut him off, his voice sounding venomous now.

His voice was so cold that Iveca couldn’t even kneel and beg. Her heart was beating like it was going to explode, and she felt as if she couldn’t breathe properly because of the heavy atmosphere.

“Don’t tell anyone. That’s an order! If anyone asks about tonight, tell them I am in the Queen’s Palace.”