CH 47.2

“I’m not surprised to hear your tastes retaining their consistency,” Ashe laughed softly. Iveca seemed to collapse internally. She was no longer that person, she couldn’t even hold up a dagger now and every day was spent trying to prove what remained of her abilities so she wouldn’t be asked to leave her bureau.

She hadn’t been sent on a proper mission in weeks, and why would she? She couldn’t even face a wooden target let alone a real live one.

She had to have a reason for a relationship. Her family relationship fell apart since she couldn’t meet the conditions for blood ties. How would a relationship based on the truth uphold?

“Your description matches that of Reagen! After exhausting all the noble ladies with the chase, I believe you’ve chosen the woman from the sub-organization? Hah, you really do want to prove to be a King Karl descendant,” Ashe said.

Iveca’s mind traveled to Reagen Hakart, a woman the King had previously courted. Reagan was a capable and dignified pharmaceutical empire employee. It was obvious that she was loved by him. Her words and actions had pleased him so far.

She remembered a conversation between them. The King had interviewed Iveca and after their meeting the King had told her he liked all her answers, aiding the countless things he liked about her.

Iveca smiled bitterly. Those answers were conjured by Eve, not her. Eve was someone she had created to shield herself, the lonely emotionally starved girl who was easily intimidated, unconfident, and who struggled both with and without affection.

She realized she liked how Daniel viewed her, a strong, thoughtful person who was competent at what she did.

Eve Jean was someone she had created to fend herself from everything and everyone else. Eve wasn’t her, she- Iveca- was a complete mess. She was incompetent, she couldn’t bear her pain well, and had several things lacking- things that the King wanted from her.

Iveca suddenly snapped back into her reality. She saw that both the King and his sister had left for some time now, but she was the one left behind, staring blankly into the world before her.

***

“Eve, why don’t you take a sick leave?” Reina asked carefully, eyeing Iveca as she said it. Iveca lowered her eyes, her back tired from standing for too long, and replied calmly, “What happens if I take a sick leave and it doesn’t go well?”

Reina mulled over the idea for a second before she replied, “Well, there’s an annual leave left.” Iveca scoffed at that. “I’ve used up my annual leave…what if I don’t manage to throw a dagger at all?” She murmured to herself, her voice tinged with desperation and worry.

Sitting next to Reina, Sid pursed his lips, remaining silent. He was aware that the employees who couldn’t perform combative abilities couldn’t retain their position at the Bureau of Investigation. The same thing had happened to Gordon, who had been badly injured and transferred to the Bureau of Intelligence.

It wasn’t that she hadn’t thought about moving into another affiliated organization. She couldn’t perform menial jobs for the bureau and expect to keep her position. She needed her body to work. But she also knew that the moment she left the bureau, she’d lose whatever magic which had conjured her features into that of a different person.

How would she adjust to going back to being Iveca de Esselburn after four years? She couldn’t bear going back there. There was a possibility that she’d be transferred to the Bureau of Intelligence but where would she live, how would she learn?

Leaving the Bureau of Investigation meant she couldn’t be Eve Jean anymore. If Iveca returned, she’d immediately be married off to some man by the Count. She was going back… her existence becoming unbearable again. Being used as a pawn in a political marriage was the cost of bearing the Esselburn name. She had to quit all affiliated organizations. Ewell would want her to live like a “Great Nobel”.

Eve swallowed bitterly as she thought about how she could last in an organization that didn’t find her useful. She then forced herself to smile at her companions.

“Eve, don’t give yourself a hard time here. You can apply for a new job,” Sid spoke slowly.

“Sid, as soon as I go back, I will be subject to a political marriage. The Count is disappointed, the heir he adopted is too young and half of them are Mueltons” Iveca stately matter-of-factly.

“Eve could ignore the Count’s administrations, Iveca cannot.”

“Eve! They aren’t your family! Why would you abandon your life here for a family that isn’t even looking for you! Why would you go back to a family who gave you nothing but grievances?”

Eve sighed bitterly. How could she explain her reasons to commoners like Reina or Sid? They weren’t aware of the responsibilities that came with bearing a name like Esselburn. The family had given her food, education, space to live, and treated her equally to her sisters. That was the value of the name she bore and the obligations she had to fulfill.