CH 50.1

A wave of trepidation washed over Iveca as she looked up at him. A dark possessiveness had entered the king’s striking blue eyes, and his usually smooth voice was rougher and deeper than she’d ever heard it before.

“Is there something special about the ground under my feet?”

“Your Highness?”

“Or are you on your knees, pleading to be mine?” he said, then pausing, “In fact, I think I’d love nothing more than to hear the word ‘please’ on your beautiful lips….”

“Why on earth would you think…”

His hand gently, but firmly, wrapped around her neck and he pulled her up to him. Iveca’s breath caught in her throat as he leaned so close that his hair tickled her cheek. The smile on his face disappeared, replaced by something darker.

“Do you not find me as attractive as the man you met within the countryside? On your business trip.”

“It’s, it’s not like that….,” she stuttered, trying to understand what was going on. Was he angry? “How.. how can I think of you that way, Your Majesty? How can we ever be more than…”

“Why not? Who I am standing in front of you, if not a man?” he growled, pressing himself even closer to her, wrapping her in the intoxicating scent of deep woods, and earth, and cool breezes that was all him.

“How, how can you be normal… you’re the King of Amethane.”

“I am still the same,” he growled softly, as he moved his face so close to hers that she could feel the heat from his breath against her lips.

Iveca squeezed her eyes shut, just before their lips met. Her whole body felt weak, and her mind emptied of all rational thought as he cupped her face, and pressed his warm tongue between her lips, urging them to open for him. Her lips parted, and he pushed inside, claiming her mouth.

Heat pierced through her, tingling through to her lower abdomen, and warring with the strange sadness his closeness invoked. A closeness that could only ever be temporary for someone like her.

She could hear the sound of her own breathing, and the roar of her heartbeat in her ears, as he expertly twined his tongue with hers, before sucking and thrusting his tongue deeper within her warm mouth, eliciting a moan from her.

His arm wrapped around her waist as he devoured her mouth, and he pulled her flush against his hard body, holding her tightly as if he would never let her go. Another moan ripped from her involuntarily, and he greedily swallowed the sound and emitted his own deep rumble in response as he alternated between exploring her mouth with his thrusting tongue and delivering gentle bites to her lips.

Somewhere in the back of her foggy mind she knew that kissing him was more than just escapism on her part, it was a potentially self-destructive mistake that she could not take back. But the moment their lips met she was helpless to control the wild connection between them. A physical current that blazed so intense she felt as though she might be consumed by it. She had been afraid of this moment for a long time. Afraid to give in to the temptation for this very reason.

He loosened his hold on her only a little when she pulled back from the kiss, gasping for breath and face flushed with arousal. She wanted to hide inside the moment forever but forced herself to finally open her eyes and look up at him.

The king’s usually gentle eyes flashed with dark intent, his lips reddened from kissing her and his breath rapid. His expression was almost animalistic in its intensity, and for a moment he looked as though he wouldn’t release her. She pulled back further, almost fearful at his intensity, and he finally loosened his hold and reluctantly allowed her to step out of his embrace.

***

Washing up alone, Iveca tried to calm herself from their earth-shattering kiss. She attempted to settle her racing mind. She wanted to make this decision with a clear head. This would be the first time she went to his private quarters, to his bedroom, without any official reason. Without any report.

The Bureau of Investigation would stop now. There was no reason to stick with her anymore, since she couldn’t even play the role anymore. She’s even struggled to be herself with her coworkers, who were once as close to her as family.

Of course, Daniel’s proposal to be his queen would be rejected as well. He loved Eve Jean, not Iveca. And the secrecy clause of the Bureau of Investigation also applied to the royal family, and it would be more than just a nuisance to the Bureau of Investigation if in the end classified information was discovered by the king because of her.

In addition, even if she betrayed the Bureau of Investigation, revealed everything, and returned as Iveca der Esselburn to sit on the throne as the rightful queen… Could Daniel continue to love her? Her, whose background was so completely different?

Daniel, whom she had loved, did not change, but Eve, who he loved, had changed completely. Eve was not who he thought she was.

Therefore, if she left the Bureau of Investigation, she would also have to erase her memory.

She did not want to be monitored for the rest of her life anyway, and she didn’t think she’d be happier just because she kept her memories of her time in the Bureau. Rather, whenever she saw colleagues in the Bureau uniform, she struggled with feelings of anxiety and insecurity. No, she would be better off to be free from that.

She probably wouldn’t be able to keep up the charade, and control the expressions on her face, if she ran into Sid or Reina.

When she returns as Iveca der Esselburn, she will naturally have to engage in a political marriage according to the will of her father, Ewill. Which means she will have to endure the heartbreak of watching Daniel, a royal family member who must sire a successor, also be publicly married to another.

You could just think of it all as a dream anyway, she thought to herself. Iveca saw the determination on her face in her reflection in the water. She would do this. She would finish the dream on her own terms. And what was a dream, if you couldn’t have at least one thing you desired?

For four years, Iveca der Esselburn, a ‘wild’ woman, freely became another person and worked for the Bureau of Investigation, but now she had awoken from the dream and returned to the real world.

He was a man she really shouldn’t have. But he was the man she wanted more than anything else in this chaotic world. And knowing that Eve Jean had no tomorrow in this dream, in her dream, she allowed herself to give in to the almost primal pull to Daniel that she had fought so long.

Even the bittersweet knowledge that all these memories would be erased didn’t stop her feet from moving her toward the entry into Daniel’s bedroom. She would finish this beautiful dream the way she wanted.