CH 33

Li Mingxuan thought about a lot of things during his long, almost hopeless wait, recalling all the encounters between him and Shen Xi since their meeting on the plane until now.

Shen Xi’s alienation, Shen Xi’s vigilance, Shen Xi’s assessment, Shen Xi’s hostility, Shen Xi’s fragility and Shen Xi’s exposed softness.

The different versions of Shen Xi overlapped and merged in Li Mingxuan’s mind, finally turning into a vivid figure that lingered, imprinted in his soul.

Li Mingxuan’s emotions and reason fought fiercely, with reason winning every time; but the emotions that seemed to have collapsed controlled Li Mingxuan’s attempts to leave firmly.

The sound-activated lights in the hallway dimmed and lit up again at the distant voices. Li Mingxuan’s mood also went up and down again and again.

In the midst of this indescribable torment, Li Mingxuan asked himself, what did he really want to do? He clearly knew that he and Shen Xi were as impossible as Ye Han had said, and that he should have given up before it was too late. But he couldn’t help but think that he wasn’t actually holding any hope, he just needed a little time, just a little time, to slowly sort out his mood and slowly move away from Shen Xi. His feelings for Shen Xi came too unexpectedly; from sympathy at the beginning to pity in the middle, to being unconsciously attracted to Shen Xi, he watched himself jump into the abyss little by little, and even his struggle seemed very feeble.

Li Mingxuan leaned against the wall in frustration, fiercely closing his eyes and opening them again. His gaze fell on the watch on his wrist. The last five minutes, he only needed the last five minutes.

As time passed, Li Mingxuan’s heart sank to the bottom; until the minute hand and the hour hand met smoothly, and Li Mingxuan straightened up in silence and prepared to leave.

The sound of the elevator arriving suddenly came at this moment, the door pulled open little by little, and the orange glow inside the elevator slowly leaked out. In the light, Shen Xi looked over carelessly. Li Mingxuan stared at Shen Xi deeply, his eyes full of complex emotions that he himself could not explain.

Li Mingxuan stayed that night.

After taking a shower and applying medicine, he told Shen Xi about the deal he had made with Wang Li today. Although Shen Xi knew that Li Mingxuan surely would find a solution, he was still relieved to hear it.

Li Mingxuan’s heart was not very happy, “You have a good relationship with Fang Luowei?”

Shen Xi nodded, “He is very nice.”

Shen Xi did not want Fang Luowei to have anything to do with the Shen family, so he only gave a faint compliment. He did not know that his tone of voice would make Li Mingxuan feel much better.

When he saw that it was almost midnight, Li Mingxuan urged Shen Xi to hurry up and go to bed. Shen Xi thought about it and said frankly, “Cousin, sleep with me.”

These words successfully stopped Li Mingxuan’s footsteps as he was about to go to the sofa in the living room to spend the night there. He glanced at Shen Xi in surprise, tried to suppress the joy on his face, and lay down beside Shen Xi as if it was natural.

The fragrance of Shen Xi’s shower gel lingered on his body, smelling very nice. Li Mingxuan couldn’t help but tilt his head to lean closer to Shen Xi, but unexpectedly Shen Xi curled up and rolled into his arms. Li Mingxuan’s heart surged with surprise; he tentatively stretched out a hand and put it on Shen Xi’s back.

A low voice came from his arms, “Grandpa used to sleep with me like this when I was little.”

Li Mingxuan’s movements stalled; he suddenly understood why Shen Xi was willing to sleep with him. Thinking about how close Shen Xi had been to him last night, Li Mingxuan gently patted him.

Shen Xi really liked it and continued to lean forward.

Li Mingxuan heard Shen Xi’s muffled voice, “Cousin, have you met my grandfather before?” 

He did not speak immediately, but began to rummage through his mind for long-ago memories. A few moments later, Li Mingxuan’s voice sounded low and magnetic, “I seem to have met him a few times when I was a child, and I remember that Elder Han was very energetic and elegant in an old-fashioned manner. I remember once at a private gathering after the New Year, my father said he would take me to meet some of the elders, and among them was Elder Han. Elder Han was very kind to me, or rather, he seemed to be kind to all the children, and the children all preferred Elder Han when compared to the seriousness of the other elders.”

“How old was cousin at that time?” Shen Xi suddenly interjected.

Li Mingxuan thought carefully, “About seven years old.”

Shen Xi was quiet. When Li Mingxuan was seven, he was just under two years old. He didn’t have much of an impression of his grandfather at that time. He tried to piece together the appearance of an amiable old man from Li Mingxuan’s words.

Li Mingxuan continued, “Later on, I saw him a few more times, but since I only looked at him from afar, I didn’t have any deep impression.”

The last time Li Mingxuan saw Shen Xi’s grandfather was at the funeral of Han Rou, Shen Xi’s mother. The elegant and spirited old man seemed to have been drained of his soul by Han Rou’s death, standing there with a wilted face. If it weren’t for someone next to him, he probably would have fallen to the ground.

Li Mingxuan still remembered that it was raining lightly that day and a chill was pervading everything around him. He heard people around whispering that Han Yu had not appeared. He had just recalled who Han Yu was when there was a sudden outcry from the periphery of the crowd. Soon the news came in that Han Yu had lost his life on his way to the funeral. No one dared to tell the grieving old man, but Grandpa took the initiative and broke the news. The old man did not collapse as everyone had expected, but only looked bewildered as he grabbed Grandpa’s hand and repeated over and over again, ‘What did you say?”

Li Mingxuan stopped recalling. At that time he was only eleven years old and could not understand the old man’s expression. It was not until he grew up that he slowly understood what kind of grief it was. Because he did not want to believe, he refused to hear, asking again and again, clearly hoping for a miracle.

Li Mingxuan sighed deeply in his heart and suddenly remembered that he did not seem to have seen Shen Xi at the funeral. Frowning in confusion, Li Mingxuan did not think much of it and carefully changed Shen Xi to a comfortable position. Shen Xi seemed to have fallen asleep and let out a soft breath.

Having been awake all night last night and busy all day, Li Mingxuan slowly fell asleep with Shen Xi in his arms.

In the darkness, Shen Xi suddenly opened his eyes and rolled up to look at Li Mingxuan in silence. He felt something different from Li Mingxuan, different from the feeling from Lao K and Fang Luowei. This feeling was more like that given to him by his grandfather, warm and reassuring.

Shen Xi hesitantly stretched out his hand, put it into Li Mingxuan’s pyjamas and placed it on his chest. The touch felt warm and even his body seemed to be flooded with a warm current.

That huge void in Shen Xi’s heart screamed once again, wanting more, more.

Shen Xi looked at Li Mingxuan with dark eyes for a while before slowly withdrawing his hand and falling into a deep sleep.

For several days in a row, Li Mingxuan stayed with Shen Xi, who did not have the slightest objection to his presence, but rather had a vague feeling of closeness.

Being close to Shen Xi, Li Mingxuan delayed the decision to go home day by day, until the weekend.

“Is cousin leaving?”

Li Mingxuan let out an “en”, wanting to simply leave, but in the end he couldn’t resist reaching out and touching Shen Xi’s head, “I’ll come back to see you tomorrow.”

Shen Xi looked at Li Mingxuan with an uncertain smile and nodded.

After Li Mingxuan left, Shen Xi was standing by the window looking out absent-mindedly when Lao K’s phone call came in.

“Hello!”

“One good news and one bad news, which one do you want to hear first?”

“The good news.”

“The good news is that I’ve managed to get in touch with Gao Qiulin, the second largest shareholder of Shen Group, and he seems to be interested in our proposal.”

“And the bad news?”

“The bad news is aimed at you specifically. Didn’t you ask me to check Li Mingxuan? I found out a little secret about Li Mingxuan, do you want to hear it?” Lao K deliberately whetted Shen Xi’s appetite.

“What?” Shen Xi cooperated by asking a follow-up question.

“Li Mingxuan is a GAY, and his attitude towards you is very unusual.” Lao K seemed to feel a bit incredulous when he said this, “Do you know how clean Li Mingxuan’s previous experience was? Compared to your notoriety he can practically run for the Five Best Young Masters of Zhongjing.”

“GAY?” Shen Xi mused, not caring about the second half of Lao K’s teasing in the slightest. It was precisely because he could sense that Li Mingxuan treated him unusually that he wanted to seriously check him out, but he had never thought about it in this way.

Lao K could practically hear Shen Xi’s thought process and an absurd suspicion suddenly flashed through his mind, “Hey hey, you’re not thinking?…”

Shen Xi asked in return, “What do you think I am thinking?”

Lao K muttered in a low voice, “You’re so perverted, I can’t even imagine.”

Shen Xi laughed lightly, “Firstly, thank you for the compliment, secondly, what you are thinking is exactly what I am thinking.”

Lao K got serious, “If you are trying to use Li Mingxuan to retaliate against the Shen family, my personal advice is that it is best not to mess with the Li family.”

Shen Xi shook his head, “It has nothing to do with the Shen family, it’s just a personal reason.”

What Shen Xi didn’t say was that he was already standing in the abyss and didn’t mind pulling one more person down. After all, the warmth in Li Mingxuan’s body was something he had never felt before, and it was something his heart craved for.

Lao K only had one thought, “You crazy bastard!”

Shen Xi smiled faintly, “Do I need to thank you again?”

Although Lao K didn’t understand Shen Xi’s thoughts, since Lao K stood with Shen Xi, he naturally did his best to help Shen Xi. In accordance with Shen Xi’s instructions, Lao K deliberately delayed handing over his information to Lu Gesen for a few days. The other party seemed to be very calm and did not press the matter in the slightest.

Lu Gesen got all of Shen Xi’s information at noon that day.

After patiently flipping through the pages of information in his notebook, Lu Gesen took off his glasses and leaned back on the sofa.

Shen Xi! Lu Gesen repeated this name in a complicated mood, the information about Shen Xi’s past flashing through his mind. There was a trace of guilt in Lu Gesen’s heart; he should not have ignored Shen Xi.

Although Lu Gesen knew that Shen Xi was his only family in the world, he had deliberately blocked all news of Shen Xi because of some unspeakable anger. Lu Gesen let out a long sigh. He knew that his anger was unreasonable, but he still couldn’t control himself.

If Shen Xi’s mother hadn’t insisted on marrying Shen Dehan, his father wouldn’t have died so soon after he and his mother had reunited with his father, and his name wouldn’t have been Lu Gesen but Han Gesen. He didn’t even have a chance to see his grandfather. By the time he and his mother received the news, his grandfather had already passed away and the Han family had been incorporated into the Shen family as the Shen family had planned.

The turmoil of his early childhood had left him full of resentment towards the Shen family, which also included Shen Xi. But what he hadn’t expected was that Shen Dehan would be so cruel to Shen Xi, raising him to be an uncompromising little bastard.

Lu Gesen frowned. He had to see Shen Xi as soon as possible. No matter what kind of feelings Shen Xi held for the Shen family and Shen Dehan, Shen Xi had half of the Han family’s blood in his veins after all and he had the right to know the truth back then.

But how should he convince Shen Xi to cooperate with his plan, and will Shen Xi listen to him?

Lu Gesen frowned thinking about how he should explain himself to Shen Xi when the phone rang suddenly.

“Foster father!” There was obvious joy in Lu Gesen’s tone.

The person on the other side of the phone was clearly happy too, “How is it? Have you gotten Shen Xi’s information?”

Lu Gesen smiled bitterly, “Got it, I just didn’t expect Shen Dehan to be so ruthless, Shen Xi has been turned into a waste by him.”

The person on the other side of the phone sighed, “It’s also my fault. If I could have found a way to reach out to Shen Xi and give him a few pointers, maybe he wouldn’t be like this today.”

Lu Gesen immediately retorted, “What makes you think that, foster father? You have no relationship with Shen Xi, and if you get close to him, Shen Dehan will be suspicious. Besides, you have given me so much help over the years, you have already done enough.”

The man on the other side sighed again, “Enough of that, when do you plan to see Shen Xi?”

Lu Gesen said, “As soon as possible. Now that Shen Ji is being dragged down by Yunrou, it is a good opportunity for Shen Xi.”

The man on the other side agreed, “Good, Shen Xi was unmotivated before, that was because he didn’t have the opportunity. Now the opportunity is right in front of him, unless he is really rotten, if you help him up, he has a chance. If you brothers join forces, the revival of the Han family is just around the corner.”

Lu Gesen gave a solemn “en”, “Foster father, I won’t let you down.”