Chapter 309: POV Alex

Chapter 309: POV Alex

Alex felt uncomfortable. Which was wrong. She should not feel uncomfortable. Yet she did. And she knew why.

Jadis was gone.

The place Alex was inside was small. Dark and tight and comforting. It was like being inside the clear thing that Jadis had given her when she left the egg. The clear thing had been comfortable. Alex felt tight and contained but could still see through to watch Jadis when she wasn’t in darkness. Many times Jadis had kept her inside darkness, which Alex liked, except that then she could not see Jadis, which Alex did not like. Being inside the place Jadis called “crate” was like that. It was dark and tight. Alex felt safe and protected inside. But she could not see Jadis, so Alex felt uncomfortable.

No.

That was not the right word.

Words.

Alex had to concentrate to think in words. Jadis thought in words. The others who worshipped Jadis thought in words. They opened their face holes and made noise and then they knew what the other was thinking. It was easy for them. It was not easy for Alex. She had to focus. Sometimes she understood. She had been watching Jadis for a long time, so she knew what some noises meant. But it was never easy.

The word Jadis would use was not uncomfortable. Uncomfortable was next to the right word. It wore the same shape and moved the same way, but it did not feel the same. The taste was different. The color was wrong. It was close, but not right.

Unhappy.

That was the word.

Alex was unhappy.

Why was Alex unhappy? The answer came easy. She could not see Jadis. She could not taste her sweetness on the air. She could not feel the vibrations she made when she moved nearby. She could not hear the noises she made, noises that Alex heard different and new and beautiful now that she had changed. Jadis was gone.

Alex hated when Jadis was gone.

No, she could not hear Jadis. But Alex could hear others. Strange noises. Movement. Words. Words that came from the others who worshipped Jadis.

The others did not want Alex near Jadis. They did not “trust” Alex. That was the right word, Alex had learned. That word meant much to Jadis. Jadis “trusted” the others and so she gave herself to them. That word meant Jadis would have sex with them. Taste and be Tasted. Comfort. Happiness.

Love.

Love was a word that felt like trust. Not the same, though. The taste was different. Stronger. Jadis trusted the powerful one with dark fur. His word was Noll. Jadis trusted Noll. But she did not love Noll. Not like she loved the others.

Jadis loved the one with long hair and tiny marks on her face. Her word was Aila. The taste and feel was love. Much, much stronger than trust. And Aila loved Jadis. Alex did not need to be told. The way her body moved. The way she changed when she looked at Jadis. The change in her taste.

Obvious.

Alex copied Aila. She copied the others as well. She moved and posed and showed her body as she had seen them do many times. She produced tastes like they did, made her body taste as they tasted. She tried to be as close to them as she could.

Failure.

Alex had tried to show Jadis that she also loved her. The way the others who worshipped her loved her. But it had not worked. She had tried to show Jadis the way she felt, but Jadis had not understood because Jadis was not the same as her. So Alex had changed her body to be more like Jadis. To show her in the same way as the others. To be as close to Jadis and the others as she could be. A new body that looked and felt and tasted and made noise just as they did.

More Failure.

Jadis knew what Alex wanted. Jadis was not stupid. No. Never stupid. Alex had watched Jadis and knew she was smart. She saw what others did not. But Jadis had rejected her. Jadis did not want Alex like she wanted Aila. Jadis did not love Alex.

Pain.

Alex writhed at the thought. Her tentacles twisted in knots as she squirmed against the hard walls of the crate. There was no one to see her pain. Jadis could not see her. But she could not help it. She moved.

The pain made Alex want to listen to the Urge.

The Urge told her that everything would be better if she took Jadis by force. She could be inside her. She could take Jadis and be inside where it was dark and tight and warm forever. The Urge told her that she could have gone inside Aila. Then Jadis would have loved her as she loved Aila. The Urge told her she could kill the others. Kill all of them. Then she would have Jadis for herself. Alone. Jadis only for Alex.

Kill them all.

Kill.

No.

No. No. No.

The Urge was wrong. The Urge was what her stupid kindred followed. They felt the Urge and did not question. So Jadis killed them.

Satisfaction.

Success.

The “please” word worked.

Alex would have to use the “please” word more often when she asked Jadis for sex. It should help with the results.

Everything would be better once Jadis had sex with Alex. Taste and tasted. They would be together. One. Not always, but for the time while they had sex. And every time after. That would be better. That would be right. Alex knew it. She felt urges, but they were not like the Urge. They were right. Whole. Clean. Happy.

But first. Alex had to gain trust.

Slowly, to make sure she did not cause Thea to feel alarm, Alex placed the sweet thing into her mouth. It was too large for her to fit the whole thing, so she used the sharp bone things in her mouth hole to crush a piece off. Inside her mouth the crunchy material was even sweeter. The broken material rested against the small tentacle in her mouth hole which tasted the sweetness even more strongly than when it was on the air. Imitating what she had seen the others do so many times before, Alex worked her jaw in a rhythmic pattern. Soon, the crunchy stuff turned to wet paste as the fluids inside her mouth hole leaked out and mixed with the crushed bits. The texture was strange, though the taste was still sweet.

What now?

Alex almost opened her mouth to remove the paste but stopped. She had seen others remove the crushed bits from their mouths before and knew that the others had viewed the act with upset. Unappealing. Unclean. The removal she had seen had made Alex uncomfortable as well. Alex did not want Thea to feel uncomfortable. That would not help her with her goal.

Jadis and the others took the flesh that they put inside of their mouth holes inside of themselves. Strange and uncomfortable to watch. Painful. But Jadis and the others also took the seed that they ejaculated from their bodies into each other. Pleasing. Both the face hole and the lower holes between their lower limbs. The seed did not come out often. Mostly not at all.

The seed Jadis and the others made should have been for making eggs. But no eggs were ever made. Alex did not think eggs would come from the mouth hole, either. But she might be wrong. Hard to know when Jadis never made eggs. But Jadis and the others still put the seed in their holes and did so for pleasure. Happiness. Taste.

Was that the same act as putting the burnt flesh in the face hole?

No. Alex could not say they were the same. But now that she was examining the strange act from a new angle, she could see the shape and color were similar. They were close to each other. Close enough that Alex thought that maybe, if she pretended that the crushed and wet bits were from Jadis, then maybe she knew what to do.

Alex swallowed.

The crushed mess went down the tube in her body to stop inside a chamber that she could feel somewhere inside her torso. Uncomfortable. Strange. Vile. Alex could feel different parts inside of herself that she did not have before changing start to react. Liquids were excreted. Her organs moved on their own without conscious thought. The sensation was wrong. Strange. Terrible.

Alex shuddered, her whole body shaking from tentacle tip to eye at the strangeness of the experience. What possible reason could Jadis have for doing this to herself every day?

A noise startled Alex out of her thoughts. She stared at Thea, the source of the noise. A happy noise. A good noise.

“You d—didn’t like that much, d—did you?”

Alex did not know what those words meant, but the noise Thea had made had been one of happiness. The noise that Jadis made when she was pleased or amused. So crushing the sweet bits up and forcing them down into her organs had made Thea happy. The reason was unknown. But Alex was sure Jadis would find a way to explain it to her eventually. For now, Alex was pleased that her choice had worked. Thea had been made happy by her actions. That drew them closer to kinship and trust.

Alex shoved the rest of the sweet thing into her mouth.

“No, wait,” Thea said, her words ones that Alex recognized easily as a denial. “Stop. You d—don’t have to do, ah, that if you don’t like it.”

Had she been wrong to continue to imitate Thea? Why was the first act met with approval but the second act met with disapproval? She had done something wrong. But Alex did not know how. Confusing. Strange. Frustrating.

Maybe Thea did not like that Alex was taking everything that Thea had given her? But why give it all if she wanted to keep some for herself? The motivation was strange, but Thea must have wanted some of the sweet thing back. Reason unknown, but action understood.

Just as Alex was about to offer the crushed bits back, a noise louder than before began in the place above them. There was a lot of noise. Many sounds, many that Alex did not recognize. But there were sounds mixed into the commotion that Alex did recognize. Sounds that she loved.

Jadis had returned.

Alex tensed inside of her crate. She wanted to go to Jadis. But Jadis had told her to stay and would not be happy if Alex did otherwise. Frustrating. But Alex believed that Jadis would be happier if she obeyed than if she disobeyed. For now. Alex was patient. So Alex waited and watched as Thea went back up the steps to the place above.

After a short while, Thea came back down, which was good. But better than Thea, Jadis also came down from above. Happiness. Jadis’ faces changed when they saw Alex. Her faces said that she was happy. But the taste told Alex she was alarmed.

Confusion.

But Jadis was making the happy change to her face, so Alex imitated the change and made her face the same way.

Then Alex noticed that Jadis and Thea were not all who came down the steps from above. The one with red skin was there. Her word was Eir. Aila was there as well. As was the one with sharp bits on her head. Her word was Kerr. But there was also one with blue skin. Alex did not know that one’s word. And there was also one with white hair on its face around its mouth hole. Alex did not know that one’s word, either. Both were staring at Alex.

“Hello Alex,” Jadis made noises of greeting from one of her faces. “Can you say hello to Magistrate Vraekae and High Priest Gerhardt?”

Alex paid close attention to the two Jadis had brought with her, memorizing their words. Alex could tell that Jadis wanted her to greet the two new people. Easy. Happy. Alex used her four new limbs and several of her tentacles to wave at Magistrate Vraekae and High Priest Gerhardt. But Alex knew that was not enough. She had to make noise greetings back as well. So Alex opened her mouth to do so.

Crushed bits of wet sweet thing fell out of her mouth hole, making a mess across her chest and onto the floor.

Alex had forgotten to swallow.

Uncomfortable.