Chapter 59 Realization



"Hufff..! Huff..!"

I gasped for breath, the beads of sweat trickling down my forehead, as I continued running in the darkness.

3:00 Am in the morning.

The time when the world was enveloped in the sweetest dreams. But here I was, pushing myself to the limit, my gaze fixed upon the towering mountain that loomed before me, seemingly radiating an aura of despair.

'He is a monster no matter how I look into it.'

I thought, seeing the back of the new companion who is accompanying me in Professor's Joshua's hellish training.

It was none other than Zephyr.

We had both been subjected to Professor Joshua's hellish training as an unofficial punishment for the incident that had occurred.

As I strained to keep up with Zephyr, on the verge of breaking down from exhaustion, he turned back and admonished me, "Hey Eren, we won't complete the training if you're that slow."

'Who the hell considers this as training?'

I glared at him, my mind swirling with frustration and fatigue. The weights tied around my arms and legs were making every step feel like a herculean task. I couldn't help but question the true nature of this so-called training.

'Isn't it just a torture at this point?'

It seemed more like torture than anything else, a punishment inflicted upon us for trespassing into the forbidden black forest. Professor Joshua's anger was evident, and he unleashed his fury upon us without mercy.

'Damn it!'

I gritted my teeth and pushed myself to the brink, desperately trying to keep pace with the monster-like figure leading the way.

My daily life had become much harsher due to a single incident.

Doing the training with Zephyr 3:00 in the morning, attending the classes during the day, training my swordsmanship and spearman ship in the evening and finally the aim training with the gun before bed.

There was barely any time for me to rest. And even in the middle of all this, I am formulating the plan for receiving the help of the emperor and some potential helpers, who I should seek out to.

Getting closer to the princess has now become a difficult task as we were both in different classes now but I made sure to appear before the princess and give a smile at least once a day.

His words were like a spear that stabbed me to the core.

"Hear this, Eren," he asserted firmly. "Resting during peace and unleashing chaos during war is nothing short of a suicidal act. Work hard during times of tranquility, and victory shall be yours in times of conflict."

A sudden realization washed over me, piercing through the fog of confusion. What had I been doing all this time? Relying on others to halt the dragon's rampage, seeking help without taking substantial action myself? Would I be doomed to repeat the cycle of regret? The memories of the exile resurfaced, and I wondered if I could have made a difference if only I had been stronger, capable of withstanding the power of the death god. Could I have slain the demon? Regret seeped into my core, and I questioned the truth in Professor Joshua's words.

Though I didn't fully comprehend his intentions, the meaning behind his words was clear. I pondered on those words and found truth in them. The questions surfaced once again as I tried to realize the truth.

What was I doing all this time?

I am trying to find a way to receive someone's help to stop the rampage of the dragon but what have I done myself in order to stop it?

Just depending on others? Finding ways to relay on others?

If it went like this then, wouldn't I once again return to doing nothing but regret the past?

What would be the difference between my past life and now? Wouldn't I be just a coward who hide behind others?

It also happened in exile.

I left most of the fights to Zephyr and comforted myself in safety, only to regret the things like, If I was just a little stronger, strong enough to withstand the power of the forgotten god, then wouldn't I, maybe be able to kill the demon?

Was what the professor said true?

I felt ashamed of myself as I realized it.

Various thoughts surfaced inside me as chaos encroaching the already conflicted mind.

"I will not force you to come here tomorrow."

He turned his back to me.

"You can come on your own if you want to get stronger, but if your resolve is not strong just sleep tight in your bed. I have no intention to teach something to cowards to hide behind others."

He said those words before going off on his way.

Professor Joshua had no intention of forcing me to continue this grueling training. If I desired strength, it was up to me to seek it.

His parting words lingered in the air, their weight settling upon my shoulders, and I stood there for a long time, trying to grasp the implications of his message.

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