Chapter 202

Chapter 35. Ghost (3)

Father.

I hadn’t really thought about it.

On the days when I had to think about it, I thought of it as a callus. I thought it was a wound that became stronger after suffering it.

Although I lost a lot because of that, I also gained a lot thanks to it, so I thought that living like this with what I had gained was enough. I decided to live thinking that way and lived thinking that way. I didn’t want to think about anything else, I didn’t try, I couldn’t.

I knew that somewhere on this earth that snake-like bastard was alive and breathing again, but I tried not to care.

‘Congratulations in advance on the coronation ceremony.’

He will die soon anyway.

Whether or not he called Tensil’s healer, his condition would get worse even if he didn’t intervene. Because it was like that in the ‘past’.

but.

Did I really not know?

Did I not want to know?

– Because it wasn’t like that in the past anyway.

Arianne said only that.

Indeed, unfortunately, Calian understood what he was saying. I understood right away, without having to ask any more questions or even think about it.

A drop of water tumbled down into the teacup.

I looked at it blankly.

“......Eup!”

I felt nauseous.

I didn’t know if what I needed to spit out was anger, curses, memories, regrets, self-blame, or regrets. In fact, I couldn’t distinguish between all of them, but I couldn’t help but feel nauseous.

Just like Chase, who protected Bern by pretending not to see Bern’s shadow, he probably respected Chase by not trying to notice Chase’s darkness. Otherwise, how could I have understood those words right away?

So, did Bern really not know?

Or maybe I just didn’t want to know.

– The crown prince never tried to talk, and I had no intention of getting involved, but the situation got a little strange, so I felt like I had to talk. I’m sorry for setting my own standards.

Arianne said these words after a long time, as if she had expected that this was not a story to be accepted casually. I don’t know what happened, but Ariane told Calian what she had been trying to keep secret.

– Has something else happened to Prince Chase?

After hearing those words, Calian barely managed to maintain his composure and asked:

If something bad had happened to Chase, Tailan wouldn’t have stayed at Arianne’s house, but he couldn’t help feeling anxious.

– no. Nothing much has happened yet. It’s my office and I’m just sleeping. I put you to sleep because I wanted to talk to you.

When Kalian heard this, he covered his face with his hands.

Even as my mind felt like it was spinning, I couldn’t help but laugh. A muttering to myself that could not be conveyed beyond the ring flowed out.

“Oh, I put you to sleep again...”

Calian didn’t sleep when he had something to think about, and Chase couldn’t sleep when he had something to think about. Thanks to this, Chase lived with insomnia as a habit. Arianne, who couldn’t bear to see that, worked hard to put Chase to sleep.

The problem is that ‘Sleep’ was not among the magic Arianne could use.

– Don’t do this too often. It’s not good if you become addicted to sleeping pills.

– ah. Have I done that before? Don’t worry. Because I will live a long and healthy life with the crown prince.

Same answer as that one time.

Suddenly, I remembered the day I came to this room on Kirie’s back. There were many days when Kirie and I drank together, so there were days when Kirie talked about how she carried Verne down from the steeple every time.

The day I fell asleep, forgetting the boundary between reality and the past.

A person who was not in the past but is now.

The only person who is neither a Tensil healer nor an elf healer. The person to whom Devlan, cornered, reaches out.

-...... Hina.

An amused laugh came out of Calian’s mouth as he recited that special name. Arianne, who had not heard that, told Calian the conclusion of the long story she wanted to tell him.

– So don’t come. No matter what reason or excuse you give, don’t come. Make sure that healer you have with you never comes here. This time, you will do the work of turning your back on His Majesty.

Arianne said to Calian what Chase could never ask Calian to do.

– sorry. really.

Calian quietly closed his eyes and held his breath.

It felt like the shadow of the past that I had not thought about had become a ghost and was moving before my eyes.

* * *

Whale cry.

“I remember being curious because I didn’t know why. What could make such a large animal cry out in such sorrow?”

Yesterday we talked about stars falling from the sky, and today we talked about the sound of a whale crying in the sea on a night when the stars rose.

Why again?

“Would it make that kind of sound if I cried while twisting my whole body? Would it make that kind of sound if I cried while all my flesh was being eaten? How would I make that sound if I cried?”

Out of the blue, I asked him if he had ever seen such a large animal, and he said that the roar of such a large animal was the saddest thing in the world. With a cup of pitch-black coffee in front of me.

So why again?

I’ve only just come to my room, but why is that pitch-black guy sitting in front of the jet-black car with black, dead eyes? Without telling him about it, he started talking about whale cries.

“I was curious about that, so I couldn’t get on a boat to get closer, but I still climbed the high cliff. I’ve seen the sea with the moon sparkling from such a distance.”

After saying that, Calian raised his slightly cupped hand to my eye level and moved it very slowly up and down, imitating something moving forward.

“It was just slowly going up and down the water, breathing and swimming. It was so peaceful that I once wondered if it was really that animal that was making the noise.”

It was not the same person who once spoke to Plantz in the basement of Heisia Palace. So now Kalyan just sat as Kalyan and told his story. Knowing this, Plantz sat in front of him without saying another word and listened to his story.

Without even asking why or what happened to make my face look like that again.

“If you don’t keep your mouth shut and watch quietly, you won’t hear the sound, so it won’t be noticeable on the outside. So, I almost lived without knowing the whale’s cry. I think it’s a good thing that I was saddened to learn that such a quiet animal can cry like that. There was a day like that.”

After saying that, Calian looked down at the untouched coffee and then raised his head again towards Plantz.

“I heard that sound here again a long time ago.”

Plantz just slowly closed his eyes and opened them.

Calian, who was not looking for a specific answer, continued speaking.

“Because I remembered that day, I thought I was lucky to hear the whale call again. I was glad I didn’t pass it by without noticing it. But today, I heard it once more from a bit further away.”

Even if you don’t see it, you know what it is.

Plants knows that the giant sea beast, which is always calm, needs to come out of the water to breathe. Although I cannot continue my life while out of the water, I know that I can only survive by going through the contradiction of raising my head above the water to breathe.

“Should I feel fortunate this time again, or should I regret that I passed by without hearing anything from the beginning? Or should I blame my ears for finally recognizing that sound. I don’t know.”

So, was it really Plants and Chase who made the whale cry? Or maybe it’s Calian who is breathing in this place full of poison that I can’t swallow or spit out.

Instead of telling me which of the answers was the answer, Planz just said the same thing he said yesterday.

“Go after eating.”

Even if you think about it with your smart head, you don’t know the answer, so if you do something, you feel hungry, so just fill your head with food today like yesterday and go.

Calian, who had been looking at Plantz for a while, bowed his head and burst into laughter.

“I want to eat again.”

I didn’t know what was going on in that green head that thought I was hungry just because I did something. As I was laughing like that, I felt like I was really hungry, so I just kept smiling.

Now I can’t stop barking and barking, so I ignore the light green eyes that seem to be asking if you just spoke informally to me.