Chapter 312 An apology through death

Chapter 312 An apology through death

The words that fell upon Jin’s ears made his gaze hollow and vacant. He felt the nausea creeping in his throat that made his heart drum loudly.

Suicide…

His expression looked haggard which was turning paler by every second.

Ai’s soft voice said with grief laced in it, “Jun’s bullet surely hit your chest. But what did you think would happen after seeing his brother dead?”

“No…” he shook hard, unable to breathe. His chuckle echoed the sound of his disbelief. “Heh. Are you trying to play an emotional card on me? There is…” his eyes looked extremely menacing and unforgiving, “a limit of lying, Zhou Ai. I will seriously kill you for this joke.”

“I said I don’t lie. If you think I am lying, then why is your voice shaking?”

He couldn’t answer.

“He saw you die right in front of his eyes. He saw his mother taking her last breath. Did you think that Jun would be able to live a happy life? Or did you think that Jun would have gotten married to Shui? What did you think would have followed after the tragedy that ensued at your wedding? Guilt and grief-stricken, Jun killed himself.”

Jin lowered his gaze and saw his hand trembling. His palms grew wet with the drops of his warm tears falling upon them. The presence of all thoughts had simply vanished from his mind. Yet the suicide of his most beloved brother couldn’t fully settle in his heart.

Ai’s gaze looked distant. “You think that Jun hated you. It might be true too. He might have hated you blinded by his obsession but not enough to kill you. That’s why he wanted to shoot himself. He feels guilty even now to think that he pointed his gun at you. Jin, you have no idea what he has suffered after your death. I know…” her voice trembled, “because I had seen him taking his last breaths. There was only pain, remorse and suffering in his eyes. He was crying, Jin.”

She rubbed the corner of her eye and glanced at Jin. “If he held Shui so important and above everyone, then he wouldn’t have chosen to give up on his life. If he felt nothing for you, then he wouldn’t have looked so heartbroken that night.”

Jin felt a choking sensation at the back of his throat. He crumpled the bedsheet in his fist, wishing not to hear anymore.

“…Leave,” he uttered with much difficulty.

Ai felt the battle he was fighting. His teary, black pupils showed the reflection of the struggle he was trying to win but was helplessly losing. He had steeled his heart to never forgive Jun, but she could see the wall of ice cracking and melting despite his resistance.

“Jin, your brother really loves you a lot.”

His teeth clashed against each other. “Stop talking…”

“I know he has hurt you and this family in the past. None of you deserved such a treatment from Jun. But even if only a little…” her lips quivered, “and even if I am against it, he tried to give his apology through his death.”

“Don’t say anymore,” he breathed hard.

But she went on. “And now that life has given him a second chance, he has only acted as such not to repeat the tragedy. He left his home to suffer alone and punish himself. But Jin…”

“Please stop,” he covered his ears.

“If fate has given him another chance to correct his mistakes, can you not give him one too?”

He clutched her arms and exclaimed. “STOP!!”

Ai kept quiet. His sharp and restless gasps showed how much uncomfortable he felt. She knew he had tons of things to say, but nothing reached the tip of his tongue.

Jun’s suicide shook him hard. Jin had always wondered what happened after his death? How did Jun and everybody else lived their lives from that point?

But this was the answer that neither he expected nor he wanted to hear.

Ai felt his fingers gripping her arms tighter, but she didn’t show an ounce of discomfort. She asked after much silence, “Are you crying because you feel you will lose the reason to hate Jun or because you never wanted this end for him?”

Jin angrily laughed through his tears. “This changes nothing…”

“No. This changes everything because in the deepest part of your heart, you want those days back. You want to love your brother once again. If you had carried pure hatred, then…” she softly tapped the bruise on his temple, “you wouldn’t have done this for Jun. In fact, you would have rejoiced to see him getting hurt because you were hurt by his bullet in the past. It was time for perfect revenge, wasn’t it?”

“You talk too much,” he gripped her jaw and leaned in with a sinister smile, dangerously narrowing the distance between them. “How about I shut it up with a kiss? I won’t care how much Bro Jun or the twins will beat me up for this harassment. I won’t care even if they throw me out of this house.”

Ai stared at him, unfazed. “If you think you can do it, go ahead. I won’t scream.”

He said nothing.

She waited.

Time ticked by and frustrated, Jin harshly let go of her.

“You don’t want to punish me?”

Silence.

She faintly smiled. “I knew you won’t because you don’t want to cross that line with the woman your brother loves so much. That’s why you never slept with Shui in the past, right?”

He stiffened.

“You said you slept with other women but not her. She loved you and it was easy for you to seduce her, sleep with her and then throw her away to take your revenge. That would give her the most pain. But you never touched her because she was someone important to Jun.”

Silence.

Ai picked her bag and hung its handle around her shoulder. “A precious life has already gone in hatred and tears. Please don’t waste this life in that same cycle. Jun wants you back, and I know you do too. There was once a time when Jun had pulled a scared Jin through the dark by his love.”

Jin remembered the day he was locked up in a room by the twins.

Her eyelashes trembled. “This time…can you pull a grieving Jun through the dark by your forgiveness?”