Chapter 447 Freedom

Jin gently opened his tear-stained eyes as he felt a deep silence. He panicked upon not hearing anything from Jun anymore.

B-Bro...

He chuckled, feeling crazy.

"Hahaha...I knew it. Bro hates me now...He is disgusted with me. He left me...Just as I thought..."

His shoulders dropped lower in defeat, and he felt himself stuck in this never-ending maze of a world.

It's better to stay here, he thought with a vacant gaze. I don't want to face him anymore. I don't want to know how he will look at me from now on.

"Jin."

He stiffened. He imagined Jun to be leaving him forever. But why did he feel his voice choke?

"Please forgive me."

His eyes widened, hearing Jun's cries echo in the air. His breaking voice made him unable to speak. His lips parted and shut in bewilderment.

W-why is Bro apologizing?

"I have made you suffer a lot. From the beginning, you have been only suffering. I have failed as a brother Jin..."

Jin shook his head furiously.

What is Bro talking about! Bro has never failed. Bro is the best

"As your elder brother, it's supposed to be me protecting you. But it turned out to be y-you protecting me all this time. Whether it's you hiding your feelings for me or stubbornly urging Shui not to reject me...it was always you protecting me. I...am so lame, Jin," Jun chuckled that carried immense sorrow in his laughter.

"I thought I was so strong. I will marry Shui and make her happy. But everything was just an illusion. The truth is that I am incredibly weak. So weak that you had to step in to protect my heart. From childhood until now, you had to pay the price for all the happiness I got with Shui. So much that you began to lie to yourself. And I am sorry Jin. In fact I don't deserve your forgiveness at all.

So why are you thinking that I will hate you, Jin? It's supposed to be the other way around...You should hate me. You should loathe me. I hurt you s-so much in the past even though..." It got more and more difficult to talk for Jun as he choked on his sobs, "you sacrificed your love for Shui. You killed your feelings for her and I acted just like you had expected. Which means that I disappointed you, Jin. You didn't do anything wrong..."

Jin stared ahead, his eyes aching with tears.

Don't cry Bro...I cannot see you sad. Please don't cry...

​ "After what you did for me, I had no right to push you away. To hate you so much. I only forced you to keep on tightening that lid on the feelings you have for Shui until it became like a rope strangling your neck. I am the reason you are unable to accept your true emotions. I failed Jin. I failed as a brother. Instead of...instead of seeing you living your life with bliss and freedom, my obsession with Shui only chained you instead.

I am the culprit, Jin. That's why please...I beg you don't punish yourself like this...Please don't suffer anymore, Jin. I was wrong. Every single time, it was only me who was walking on the wrong path. Thank you Jin for loving me so much, but I...really don't deserve your respect anymore because you didn't deserve my hate and the bullet. It's all my mistake..."

Jin scrambled on his feet, listening to Jun's heartbreaking cries. His chest tightened and as he lowered his gaze, he found the warmth and moistness of his tears on the back of his hand.

He shut his eyes, unable to hold back his tears as well. "Don't...cry, Bro."

"Please come back Jin," Jun begged once again. "Punish me for the grief you went through. Jin...please free yourself from the chains that I put on you."

Jin bit his lip hard. His hand trembled and so did his brother's tears.

Bro...

He didn't want Jun to blame himself or feel responsible. But his assurance that he wouldn't hate him lifted off an immense mountain from his shoulders.

Jin heard a merry giggle and saw a little girl running towards him. She laughed as she tugged onto Jin's pants. He stared at the apparition of little Shui, beaming at him with her bright eyes.

She made a beckoning signal with her hand as if asking him to bend down. Jin slowly kneeled before her, still peering into her eyes.

It was those same eyes that had taken little Jin's breath away, invariably making a place in his heart.

Little Shui tapped on his nose and pouted. "I told you, right? I don't want to see you and Jun fighting. I want to see you two happy! So, you should go now. Jun is waiting for you," she chirped.

"...Is that so?"

She bobbed her head seriously.

"You two have been sad for like a reaaaaaaaly long time. Even I don't cry for that long," she scrunched up her brows.

A chuckle escaped his lips. "Hm. I know. You were always pretty quick to stand up on your feet. Nothing bad could faze you for a long time. That's..." a faint light passed his eyes, "what I always loved about you so much."

Little Shui brightened. "You love me, Jin?"

He smiled and gently placed his hand on top of her head. His warm voice was as gentle as his gaze. "Yeah. I do. I have always loved you, Shui."

Little Shui grinned. "I love you too, Jin!"

"I know. But I have hurt you a lot, Shui. My love for my brother made me incapable of loving you. I have made you sad. I don't deserve to be with you. You should be loved by a person free from any baggage."

Little Shui blinked.

Jin shook his head. "I am sorry for the difficult words."

Little Shui flared her nostrils in defiance. "Don't act so smart! I know a lot of difficult words too!"

Jin laughed. "My bad. I am sorry."

Little Shui smacked on his head. "You don't decide who I should like and who I should not," she frowned. "You know, I might look silly to you. But I am actually very smart. Do you think I don't know how much you love Jun? I already do. That's why you ruined my drawing. That's why you always tagged along with Jun whenever he came to play with me. I already know that he is the best brother in your heart and the most important too! So duhhh! I already know I will have the second most important place in your heart. And that's fine with me."

"H-How can it be fine?"

She puffed up her cheeks. "Because it's Jun. I like Jun too! A lot! He is my bestest friend! You know, I will always take Jun's side if you two ever fight!"

"..."

His brow twitched.

"Aaaaand I am not competing with a girl to feel sad. It's Jun. Jun is Jun. I don't feel sad that you like Jun and that he is in the first place for you. I already know that. You know what Dada says? That I should find a boy who will be super loyal to me. But then he also says that he will be very mean to the boy..." she looked puzzled. "I don't understand Dada sometimes."

"..."

Uncle Zhiyuan...

"You are super loyal to Jun. That means you will be super loyal to me too! That's why I like you so much because you cherish the person I want to cherish so much too haha!"

He stared at her unblinkingly.

Little Shui facepalmed. "Don't talk to meeee, silly! You need to go back! Jun is still waiting for you."

"I don't know how to go back."

"He will take you back," she grinned.

"Who?"

*Meow*

Jin turned and saw a cat with dark brown irises staring silently at him as he rested his body on his hindlegs. Then he got up and started walking towards an unknown destination.

Little Shui laughed as she patted his hands. "Follow him. He will show you the way back to Jun."