Gu Rong didn't decide that he would raise Yating but that also came with its own set of apprehensions. He didn't doubt his ability to raise him financially since he was well-settled now. But that didn't mean that there wasn't a need for a mother in Yating's life.
The more he thought in that direction, the more he felt drowned in an endless sea of concern.
Yating needed a mother too. At this point, he was too young to understand the absence of a mother. But he was sure that a day would come when he would ask questions about it and when he might feel that wished he had a mother too.
That question also spiraled him in another line of thinking -
What if Yating ever learned the truth of him killing Luo Liuxian?
Butler Mo often tried his best to convince him. "Master, it wasn't your fault. You were only trying to protect young master."
He vigorously shook his head. "No, no! Now that I think about it calmly, I lost my cool over there. I could have handled the situation differently. I didn't need to kill Liuxian. I could have...thought of something else!"
He wallowed in that guilt and fear. That's why it became even more necessary for him to find a mother for Yating. With that in mind, he decided he would remarry but only for Yating's sake. He had no interest nor the intention to have his own family.
It was simply getting into a contract for him.
The woman would take all the responsibilities of a mother and take care of Yating and in exchange, Gu Rong would take care of all her needs.
Butler Mo did try to talk with him if this approach would really work. Give and take when it came to a mother's affection was complicated. He wondered if the deal would really work out.
But Gu Rong was adamant. He wanted to give Yating the love of both a mother and a father. He wanted to fill that gap as soon as possible and settle that unnerving feeling gripping him.
And so along the way, he met Duan Ren. She didn't come from a family as wealthy as Gu Rong's but it was more than enough from an average man's perspective.
He stiffened.
"I don't mind Mom going out. I love reading books," his bright eyes sparkled. "You have brought me so many books to read! So...so you don't have to worry about me."
Gu Rong felt as if a boulder just crashed on top of him. He could see it in his eyes that he was just acting to look tough and strong only to maintain peace in the house. But somewhere in his heart, he did miss Duan Ren's presence.
Gu Rong pinched his cheeks. "Don't be silly, Yating. We are not fighting because of you. We are husband and wife and every couple has arguments now and then," he laughed. "It's nothing serious. So you don't stress about it.
You just play and read and do whatever you want."
That conversation with Yating was the final straw for Gu Rong and he gave an ultimatum to Duan Ren that if she didn't change her ways, then he would be forced to end the contract himself.
"Nothing ever works out for me Jiahao..."
Gu Rong said one evening, holding a glass of whisky in his hands. His face was slightly flushed with intoxication.
"Liuxian didn't get the life she wanted from me so I thought...that if I give everything to a woman that Liuxian ever wanted then, there shouldn't be any problem, right? Why are things always so difficult? I am...not able to do anything for Yating. Why do I always keep failing...?"
Butler Mo softly said, "I did say before Master. Give and take in any relationship can only go as far. And especially parents' love cannot be based on a contract."
Gu Rong wryly laughed. "Then what is it based on? Blood? Because if that was the case then Liuxian wouldn't have hated her son so much to the point...that I had to kill her."
Suddenly a gasp echoed from behind the door. Gu Rong froze and ran to open it only to find Duan Ren stumbled back. She stared at him in horror.
"Wh-What did I just hear...? Y-You killed your first wife? But didn't you say at the time of our marriage that she died in an accident?"