CH 44

After getting married, Ciel was already thinking of a way—of any way at all—to bring Seohyun back with him to the empire. So, regardless of how tedious and onerous they were, he took on all the tasks that the government and the association assigned to him, and he devoted his time and effort to increasing his connections.

He used to believe that there would be a way for him to open the dimensional gate even without the saintess’s help.

“…Seohyun.”

So unlike her slender and fragile physique, his wife never failed to give him her firm support. He missed her so much.

Still high up, as though walking in the air, Ciel breathed out a sigh of relief when he confirmed that all the members of the garrison were safe.

But at the same moment he sighed, blood trickled down the corners of his lips. He used his abilities beyond his limit, and now the side effects were starting to show.

He flew higher up, leaving behind the baron who was calling after him.

He flew away without looking where he was going. He needed to hide himself and regain his calm. If he couldn’t do that, he had a bad hunch that something big would happen.

Ever since his return to the empire, his condition had become too messed up. It felt as if his rampage from his previous life was embedded deeply within him, just frozen until it would explode once more.

Back then, during his first life here at the empire, his condition did not deteriorate this rapidly even after using as much power as he had just now.

Although it’s true that he had returned to the past, there were still quite a few subtle differences in this second life.

The biggest difference among everything was his physical condition.

He felt his consciousness dimming, and he crashed somewhere he did not know. He still had enough strength to check whether there were any movements around him.

When he confirmed that there weren’t any, that’s the only time that he let out a sigh of relief. He felt his consciousness slip further from his grasp.

He hoped dearly that nothing big would happen.

He had been suppressing it all this time, but he finally threw up. It was blood. He could not completely press down on the surging energy that’s spreading wildly inside him.

It was a maelstrom of energy that he knew instinctively would give him the greatest sense of liberation.

Amid this chaos, he tried hard not to lose consciousness entirely.

He already broke out into rampage in the past, so he vaguely knew how much energy he needed to release.

Ciel felt himself going in and out of consciousness, and as he did, smoke huffed out of his nose. It was the excessive warmth of his power of fire.

He was unaware of what’s going on in his surroundings—all he could sense was that something, somewhere, was burning. He did not know whether it’s because he’s delirious or whether it’s because he truly was burning crops.

As his mind was awash with many tangled thoughts, he felt someone drawing closer to him.

It was someone with a refreshing, brisk energy to calm down his fire, which relentlessly continued to burn him from inside out. It felt as if he was standing at the base of a waterfall, which poured down directly over him.

In short, he now felt refreshed and invigorated.

Someone held his hand, and this skin-to-skin contact gave him an indescribable feeling of ecstasy. So, he pulled that hand roughly.

He won’t let go.

No. He can’t let go.

Because it was the familiar energy that he longed for so damn much.

“Even if it’s a dream, that’s alright…”

Rather than a dream, perhaps it was more like delusion.

His wife, who he missed terribly so, had come to visit him. Everything’s fine as long as she’s here.

In fact, he dreamed about her every single night, but he only ever saw her final moments with him. It was like a constant reminder, telling him ‘She will never smile at you anymore.’ It brought him nothing but pain and despair.

Even if it was too late, all he wanted was to say how sorry he was—to beg for her forgiveness. However, in his dreams, she was always covered with blood, spewing blood, spilling blood.

Seeing her like that, he could not pluck the courage to beg for forgiveness.

But then, she finally came to see him here. Even more, it was a time when he was at his lowest point, so filled with loneliness and so wrought with anguish.

Seohyun, who had always provided her quiet and steadfast support for him, was here.

He turned to face her general direction and roughly held her cheeks. Crazy and delirious, he brought his lips to hers.

“Nnh.”

Teeth grazed her tightly closed lips. He tasted blood, and so he licked it with his tongue. Carefully, cautiously, he caressed the soft lips that he had unknowingly injured.

Like a dog that accidentally bit its owner—I’m sorry, it was an accident—he kissed her with tender desperation.

“Ah, stop…”

To appease Seohyun, who was mumbling something, he hurriedly pushed his tongue into her mouth, deep. He knew where she liked it best, and so he rubbed his tongue against the roof of her mouth. A hot breath and a faint moan poured from her to him.

He found her shy tongue soon after and entwined his own tongue with it. They were this close now, but he wanted to put his finger into her mouth because her small tongue kept hiding from him.

But in his hand now was her hand, too. Her skin was so soft to his touch and, still out of his mind, he continued to wrap his tongue around hers as he felt the softness of her hand in his.

He could feel her brisk, mint flavor as he tasted her. As he became privy to her sweet nectar, he felt his badly deteriorated internal organs slowly starting to heal.

As if she was his lifeline, desperation fueled his actions as he embraced her and coveted her cute, soft lips.

He absorbed the guiding she provided as though determined to suck it all up with each and every kiss. He turned his head obliquely and tightened his grip on her.

Even if this was just a dream, he had absolutely no intention of letting her go. He would not allow himself to lose her again.

Honey, my Guide…

He embraced her petite body, clinging to her firmly, and he felt himself relaxing because of her guiding. He murmured with a languid tone.

“I missed you…”

I missed you so much.

“I was wrong…”

So, if we meet again in this life, will you forgive me? Seohyun-ah…

t/n: when putting ‘-ah’ (or ‘-ya’, ‘-ie’) after a Korean name, it turns the name into a nickname to express the speaker’s affection towards that person; it’s typically used between family, friends or lovers