CH 60

There’s something wrong with what he said just now.

From what I heard from Mom earlier this morning, the duke and his younger brother were supposed to leave soon.

But now, he was expressing his intention to stay a while longer.

And in addition, even though no one would be able to refute his claims, he’s lying about his abilities as an Esper.

Just because he made a small mistake, would there be an ordinary person who’d be able to look down on an Esper?

I had no clue as to why he was bringing up such a misleading notion, but at that moment, I felt Mom’s tight grip on my hand loosen.

“Oh my goodness…”

With Mom’s subsequent exclamation, I had a sinking feeling.

I should remember that Mom was the kind of person who thought of Dad, a swordmaster, as an adorable man, and my older brother, who could cut through boulders with just a sword, as her cute little son.

True enough, the ends of Mom’s eyes drooped. She was obviously feeling compassion for him.

Perhaps feeling that Mom’s disposition towards him had shifted, Ciel appealed with more fervor.

“Just as you said, Baroness, nobles of course have their pride. I also have my own pride as an Esper, which is why I wouldn’t want others to hear of my faults for fear of them looking down on me. Especially when they’re mistakes borne out of side effects from my abilities.”

Ciel deftly turned himself into a poor, pitiable Esper. Oh, what a pity it was to be blessed by God and be praised for such tremendous abilities!

I was in shock. I couldn’t believe that an Esper said such a thing about himself.

Mom, however, believed it more for the same reason—because those words were uttered by his lips.

I narrowed my eyes at Ciel, who spoke so slyly without even a change in his expression.

Was he actually this kind of man?

“Even an Esper can make such mistakes… I can’t believe it.”

“That’s right. Of course, it’s only natural for you to think that way, Baroness. But if you think of Espers as human beings, too, it’s possible for us to make mistakes. Obviously, Espers are also humans with emotions, and are also humans who could make mistakes.”

In truth, I kind of agreed with what he was saying right now.

In the past, there were Espers who couldn’t control their emotions, going as far as going wild or breaking orders. Espers weren’t just weapons to eradicate monsters.

There were many times that I inwardly laughed at myself, believing that Espers belittled ordinary people. Still, if one was determined, it wasn’t impossible to eliminate Espers, too.

They were superior in terms of abilities, but no differently than us, they felt pain as well.

They were lonely beings.

“But, what of the side effects you mentioned? I’ve never heard of Espers having any. There is a saying that an Esper is a vestige of God, or a part of God. There should be no side effects.”

Due to my memories of the novel and from my experiences in the past, I already knew about the side effects that Espers suffered from. It seemed like it’s not common knowledge that Mom knew.

So the people here were currently not aware of the side effects Espers had?

As a sudden influx of questions arose within me, my eyes naturally turned to Ciel. He was looking at Mom, but as he felt my gaze, he stared back at me.

“It is a secret that only Espers themselves and the Imperial Family know.”

“Ah, I see…”

The moment Ciel said the word ‘secret’, Mom quickly rescinded her curiosity.

However, Ciel was one step faster. He spoke as if there was nothing he could do about it, but I narrowed my eyes and noticed that he was purring on this act on purpose.

“I’ve received your genuine sincerity, Baroness, so there’s no reason for me to keep this from you and Lady Closch.”

“No, you don’t…”

“An Esper is like a defective product when there is no Guide beside them.”

Before Mom could dissuade him from revealing this, the words already burst out of Ciel’s lips.

At the same time, his eyes did not deviate from me.

Persistent gaze on me, he added.

“Without a Guide, an Esper would feel as if they’re walking aimlessly in the middle of a sweltering desert, no water in sight. Each step of the way, it feels as if the sand sinks beneath the Esper’s feet, and it’s torturous how it’s impossible to quench this thirst. There are only two ways to stop this.”

Taking a short breath, he looked at Mom momentarily.

“To give up one’s own life, or…”

Then, he turned to me.

“To meet one’s destined Guide.”

“Guide, you say…”

“Yes. And it seems like I’ve met mine.”

Mom’s eyes went wide, looking as if she was about to tear up. I also stared at him bewilderedly.

As Ciel noticed my gaze, I could see the corners of his lips tugging up slightly.

Finding a way to one-up me, he showed the very image of triumph. I was utterly baffled, and without realizing it, my mouth gaped open in shock.