CH 1

Chapter 1 – Back Then

My family was poor when I was small, and my parents also values boys over girls, so everything good was given to me. My younger sister was as if a beggar; she didn’t have any nice clothes to wear and didn’t get any good food to eat. She was dirty all the time, and no one looked for her except for her to do chores.

But she was really glued onto me and always followed behind my butt, appearing carefree. I was very annoyed at her. Because my friends all called her a bastard and loathed her. To not be alienated by my friends, naturally I loathed her too. Sometimes I would even become very angry. Just on basis is this beggar thing my younger sister?

My younger sister with dirty attire and didn’t receive love and care was alienated by everyone. That time I didn’t pay attention to her feelings, and went to play with friends right after I got off school. I didn’t bother with her at all. She occasionally begs me to bring her along with me and play; I would even kick her a few times and tell her to not follow me and make me ashamed.

It was unknown for how long these kind of days lasted. Later, I went to middle school, while she was in fifth grade. I was still “well dressed”, and she was still a beggar.

The little kids near us still alienated her; the only change was that we didn’t like to play outside anymore, but instead liked to play video games at Da Qiang’s house and watch DVDs.

Da Qiang was the only male high school student in the neighborhood. His house had colored TV as well as game consoles. Us middle schoolers and even elementary schoolers were still immensely immature, and likes to rush to his house and play like a hive of bees.

We played video games at first, and some time later Da Qiang started to play videos to us. That was his dad’s DVD, probably one he got some somewhere on the street stalls. Japanese girls screamed in there.

When we first watched, all of us little kids felt immense astonishment. Once boys started with this kind of bad behavior it was impossible to stop. After that, we would go to Da Qiang’s house to watch DVDs every single weekend, and would also do that kind of stuff, even though we felt unnerved and afraid.

My younger sister then discovered about this later. She was very much attached onto me, and hoped for me to play with her when weekends came. But I was impatiently trying to go watch DVDs, and every single time I would throw mean words toward her and tell her to scram.

She didn’t dare to follow either, and an immensely disappointed expression hung on her face. That time I wasn’t able to understand her feelings, and ignored it always.

However, she gathered courage and followed when we were watching videos this one time, and hid outside of Da Qiang’s windows to eavesdrop.

Da Qiang adjusted the volume to very low, and we were all watching without breathing. We would also masturbate; boys that had just entered the sexual adolescence didn’t really have much shame.

That younger sister of mine was looking from outside the window. She brought over a chunk of rock, stood on top tip-toed and looked, but got startled and fell onto the ground.

As we were all stupefied, Da Qiang immediately lifted up his pants and rushed out. Not long after, he dragged my younger sister by the hair into the house, and tightly shut the door.

Da Qiang had bullied my younger sister since childhood, and he stilled enjoyed doing so even now as he attended high school. After he dragged my younger sister in he gave her stomach a punch straight away: “You dared to peek?”

Da Qiang was obviously very diffident, and same for us. Fortunately the peeper was merely a ten years old beggar girl.

At first I was panic stricken, then my thoughts went to that I couldn’t displease Da Qiang and make all the kids alienate me. So I played the role as the vanguard and berated my sister: “I told you to not follow me, are you deaf?”

My younger sister were already struck dumb from fear, and was trembling greatly. She was grabbed by the hair, and the pain made her face distorted. The only clean part about her was her face, but at this moment her face also became dirty. Tears and snot ran all over, and her face was like calico cat’s face.

I pushed her out as all of the kids were bickering. Da Qiang gave my sister a kick on the butt. I dragged my little sister outside; the tattered clothing she had wore for a few years already got torn up straight away. Her upper body was revealed; it was extremely thin and small.

No one had noticed this, except Da Qiang. Da Qiang looked at my sister twice, then suddenly called me to stop, and said nevermind.

Everyone were dumbfounded; because Da Qiang liked to bully my little sister the most. I didn’t understand, so Da Qiang hissed: “She’ll definitely tell on us when she gets back. I need to give her a lesson, to make her not dare to snitch.”

My little sister kept on begging for forgiveness, and said that she wouldn’t snitch. Perhaps in the depth of my heart, there were still several traces of the responsibility to protect my little sister left, so I also said she wouldn’t dare to snitch.

But Da Qiang just ignored me, and dragged me little sister back in. We all didn’t know what he wanted to do, and could only watch.

Da Qiang dragged my panicked little sister beside the desk. The homework notebooks we had deliberately brought were all knocked down.

The DVD was still playing, since everyone earlier were struck dumb and forgot. At this time the japanese girl was still making sounds and acting. Da Qiang pressed my little sister onto the desk. I didn’t know what he wanted to do, deliberately pulling my sister’s clothes.

My sister’s body was thin and small, and there almost wasn’t any meat at all. But she was really white. Below the dirty clothes there hid a white and clean skin.

No one had realized anything, and only Da Qiang was aware. He seemed to have discovered that there are uses for my sister.

Before I realized, Da Qiang was rubbing my sister’s butt; it was extremely ridiculous and weird. The few of us looked at each other’s faces, but faintly guessed something.

Da Qiang heavily breathed, and tightly pressed my little sister’s head on the table: “You better remember this, if you are to speak of anything today, I’ll kill you!”

Da Qiang who was at the freshman year of highschool has already dared to use the word kill, while he was still rubbing my sister.

The few kids all noticed that something was wrong. My little sister was heartbreakingly crying, her thin body was pressed down and unable to move. More than half of her clothing was ripped apart. Da Qiang also went to pull her pants, and seemed to be no longer satisfied with just rubbing.

I had finally understood what Da Qiang wanted to do, but no one dared to make any sound. Da Qiang is very strong, he could flip us with just a single hand.

My little sister was pressed down on the table with her head facing sideways. She could only ask for help from me, and desperately called for her big brother.

I didn’t dare to move. Da Qiang turned his head around and smiled at us: “You guys don’t understand, and will only understand when you are as old as me. Watch properly.”

He flaunted while pulling down my sister’s pants. I am sure that my sister was more mature than anyone present. She lived like a beggar for so many years, and worked so many years of hard labor, cautiously living at home. She was sensitive and self-abased, cowardly yet premature. She understood what Da Qiang wanted to do.

In my heart I thought that this wasn’t right. The kids also had odd complexions. Da Qiang had already pulled down half side of my sister’s pants, and my sister wailed while clenching her legs together: “Big brother, big brother big brother”

Last week, my father had beaten her with a bamboo stick. She jumped up and down from the beating, and was also wailing miserably. However, it was not this miserable. It was miserable to the point that I was stupefied and couldn’t even move.

Then she crazily clawed at the desk, and grabbed the writing utensil we used to do homework. Da Qiang had just happened to bend down to see my sister’s butt, and the force on his hands weakened somewhat. My sister smashed backwards like mad, and the writing utensil in her hands directly stabbed onto Da Qiang’s face.

Da Qiang let out a cry of agony. My sister fell onto the ground frightened, and shrunk backwards without stop.

The few of us had finally gotten a hold of ourselves. Da Qiang wiped his face, and actually wiped off a bit of blood. He was then enraged. I saw his face, a wound was stabbed on there by the ballpoint pen, and was currently bleeding.

All of those kids rushed over to see him. Everyone became panicked. I completely didn’t know what to do, and could only look at my sister dumbfoundedly. She perhaps was the most panicked amongst all of us, since she injured Da Qiang. She then crawled toward the outside. After crawling for a few meters she stood up and ran outwards, her hands pulling up the pants that was torn apart.

She ran away.

I was glad she ran away, because Da Qiang had also took up the pen. He wanted vengeance, thankfully my sister had ran outside.

Everyone panicked when she escaped. The few kids didn’t dare to stay any longer, and returned to their own homes in a flurry. I also hastily ran, but Da Qiang grabbed me with a malicious face: “Mother f*cker. Your sister will definitely tell on me. You better remember, I was only joking with her, and was only trying to scare her. You tell your parents just that, otherwise I’ll butcher you!”

I was scared speechless my him, and ran right after agreeing. When I got home, I saw my little sister curled up by the door crying. She didn’t have the key, and my parents hadn’t returned yet either.

I didn’t dare to go near her for a moment, and she didn’t seem to have noticed that I had come back. I completely didn’t know just what I was thinking. I then ran away again. After the night fell, my parents came back.

I directly ran over to tell my parents that my sister was crying on the doorsteps. They ran over and looked, and saw that my little sister had already fell asleep laying there.

Dad told her to get up with a foul mouth, and my mom on the other hand asked her what happened. The moment my little sister woke up, she started crying and yelling loudly: “Da Qiang stripped off my pants.”

Both my parents were shocked. My sister was currently eager to tell, and even pointed at me: “Even big brother saw it, Da Qiang took off my pants.”

My parents then asked me. With my head lowered, in an extremely cowardly fashion I said I don’t know. My little sister then suddenly stopped crying. I sneaked a peek at her, and saw an expression that had never appeared before. It seemed as if she was struck dumb, and also seemed like she was abandoned by someone.

I was twelve, she was ten. Neither of us could truly understand many things. But she seemingly had suddenly understood; girls always mature earlier.

For the first time I didn’t dare to look at her. After a while she started crying again: “It’s true, Da Qiang stripped off my pants.”

No matter how my parents favored male over female, they had uphold justice, and immediately departed toward Da Qiang’s home.

My mother brought my little sister, and none of them bothered with me, but I still followed far behind.

Da Qiang’s home was brightly lit. The moment my parents arrived they lost their edge; it was because Da Qiang’s home was the richest in the neighborhood.

Knocking on the door to visit, before my parents even said anything, Da Qiang’s father had already started to condemn them: “Old Li, what’s up with your daughter? She stabbed a hole on my son’s face. It’s still hurting even now.”

I was far away and could not hear clearly. I only heard that after they spoke for a while, my parents then actually started apologizing. My little sister was originally scuttled behind mom, but unexpectedly my mom directly gave her a slap on the face, making her not even dare to cry anymore.

Da Qiang had also come out, covered his face with a extremely wronged expression, pointed at my sister and condemned her as reckless.

I had never saw such a panicked and out of breath. Her ten year old brain clearly couldn’t organize convincing words, and could only cry out words intermittently.

The parents of the two families had already reached an agreement, that it was my sister’s fault.

Within the swearing and crying, the sound of apologies were the most ear-piercing. My little sister once again turned her gaze toward me. Perhaps she was only instinctively asking for help. This beggar thing that was attached toward me from childhood, always liked to look at me in times of despair, and hoped that I could help her.

The adult’s gazes had also looked over here, my mother peevishly asked me once again: “Did Xinxin stab Da Qiang with a pen?”

This wasn’t a lie; my sister weakly and helplessly cut in: “It’s Da Qiang who stripped off my pants first”

Da Qiang also cut in: “I was only joking with her, she really has problems.”

My mother told my sister to shut up, and let me answer. My sister looked up at me with a messy face. Her hair had entirely gotten wet, covered in sweat. Her eyelashes had glued together, and her voice had also become hoarse.

Da Qiang winked at me, and I heard my sister weakly crying out: “Big brother.”

“She stabbed Da Qiang with the pen.”

These words were truly timely spoken. They severed the little sister’s “Brother”, and also severed all the words that was left, leaving behind a ten year old little girl weeping with a messy face, helpless like a cat that was curled up in a trash can.