CH 36

Li Xin yielded, and I lay on the floor looking at her, shaking with unimaginable guilt and pain. I wanted to say I won't let you go, but I couldn't say the words. My father kicked me a few more times, then told Li Xin to go back to her room.

Li Xin walked back in silence, went into her room, and gently closed her door. Mother, who was also still crying, came over and pushed my father away to help me up.

I didn't want to move, my heart was as good as dead. My mother helped me wipe my blood and consoled me: "We will be good to Li Xin, we won't let her suffer, Li Chen, be a good student, our hopes are all on you."

I still did not say anything, my father tried to kick me again, my mother hurriedly helped me into my room to rest.

I looked at the ceiling with wide eyes, I had been a loser for more than ten years, and now I was a loser to the point of being unable to protect even my sister.

I can't even remember how many times I cried, I didn't want to cry, but I cried, I said while crying you're worthless, fuck you, you're worthless!

The sky is getting darker and darker, insects are constantly flying in due to the open window.

I wiped my tears and thought, "Do I just give up? What should I do?”

My parents went out again, I don't know where they are going. I don't know how Li Xin is doing now, she is living in that rotten room, I'm afraid she is also crying.

I don't know how long it took, but I tried to sit up, there must be something I can do, there’s still a chance to save Li Xin.

I tried my best to calm myself down and think about countermeasures, but my parents came back. They were actually joking, my heart suddenly tingled, and my father yelled out: "Come out!"

I didn't move, and I heard Li Xin open her door. She was too scared of her parents to not go out.

I gritted my teeth as my father yelled at me again, my anger already welling up. I still didn't move, then my mother ran in, her voice was soft: "Don't be angry, we are discussing things about Li Xin, don't you want to know?"

My heart stirred, seeing my mother like this, she seemed to think that this matter was good for Li Xin, and she wanted to soothe my emotions.

I went out with her, my father was sitting on the sofa drinking tea, Li Xin stood beside him with her head lowered and dared not move.

I went over and pulled Li Xin to sit down, my father glared at us coldly and did not say anything more.

Then my mother laughed: "Things are very simple, there is no need to make a scene, Li Chen, we have talked to Lao Zheng, to take Li Xin to work, he'll take special care of her, her salary will be 3,500 yuan or more." (TN: About 520 USD.)

I don't say a word, is this something to be happy about? The mother said again: "Old Zheng and the others like Li Xin very much. They say that it is useless to be just strong, and they are so angry that the older people did not finish high school. They especially like Li Xin, saying that if your grandparents get better, or if we become financially stable, they will help Li Xin find a school there and let her finish her studies."

I was taken aback, my mother smiled: " Don't you be angry, maybe Li Xin will go with us to work for a while, then your grandparents will get well, then old Zheng will help Li Xin find a school over there, you see how good it is?"

I'm still surprised. I have to say this is very good. I also see that Da Qiang's parents prefer Li Xin. They liked Li Xin after she became the top student. They have always called her Xin'er, but are they actually willing to help Li Xin find a school? I'm afraid there will be some loans when they do.

I was first surprised, if Li Xin can go to the big city to study I am ten thousand willing, but I am also very puzzled, weren't Da Qiang's parents being too good for Li Xin, right?

I then looked down and pondered, and my father asked Li Xin with cold eyes, "Are you willing?" Li Xin lowered her head, no one could see her expression: "I'll do whatever you want, you don't need to ask me."

Her voice was always like this, as if she was hopeless.

I didn't say anything, if this is true, it would be good for Li Xin, but I still feel a little uneasy inside.

My parents didn't say much more, and told me to stop thinking about it. I thought about the situation and suddenly spoke, "Are you guys lying to me?"

Both parents shook their heads, but I still felt that they looked a little off. I narrowed my eyes, my mother looked at me with a cold face and smiled bitterly: "In fact, it was Da Qiang who took a fancy to Li Xin."

My heart jumped, and Li Xin, next to me, trembled instantly, and her head hung even lower.

My mother was a little uncomfortable, but she probably felt nothing, so she didn't hide it: "Da Qiang is 18 years old and Li Xin is 14 years old, the age difference is not big, Da Qiang likes her again, and Lao Zheng and his wife like her too. Work part-time, finish her school, and then marry Da Qiang."

I never thought things would turn out this way anyway, I said How could she do this? Mother explained, "Da Qiang came home today and told us that he liked Li Xin very much, and they both hit it off immediately. It was good luck, their family even helped Li Xin find a school, you see how good it is?"

My face started to twist, married to Da Qiang? My fists were squeezed to death, feeling powerless and angry.

Li Xin, who was beside me, was shaking constantly, but she didn't dare to speak. Father said coldly: "In Linghua it’s not uncommon to start working with others at the age of fifteen, and get pregnant and married at the age of seventeen. It’s pretty common. Moreover, the old Zheng family values ​​academic qualifications and will definitely let Li Xin finish her studies. Then Li Xin will be able to enjoy herself, what's wrong with that?"

This is a big joke, it started as a part-time job, but it turned out to be a marriage, and with Da Qiang.

I looked at Li Xin, and my parents both looked at Li Xin, asking her what her opinion was.

Li Xin's tears began to fall, and she could no longer remain calm, but in the end, she did not dare to resist, and said the same sentence: "Everything is up to you...don't ask me..."

In my stomach I felt a twinge of pain, my parents smiled: "That's good, the day after tomorrow we will go out, first you work to earn some money for your grandparents to help them, remember to be good, when we have more money go talk to the Zheng family to find a school for you."

My lips trembled as they cheered her up, my mother smiled and went to make dinner, while my father turned on the TV and watched it.

I almost moved back to the room, and Li Xin also went back to her room. There were two rooms separated by a wall, and there was no sound of any kind.

I wandered around my room for a long time, pressing myself against the wall to hear Li Xin's movements or to talk to her, but in the end I couldn't speak.

I just grabbed my hair to death which hurt, and then vaulted out of the window, and the window swung and made a loud noise.

I was afraid my parents would hear me, so I rushed off down the path and went straight around to the back of Da Qiang's house.

I knew where Da Qiang's room was, I picked up a stone and threw it, after a clang Da Qiang popped out cursing: "Fuck you, who is it?"

I stood below in the night to look at him, he took a moment to see that it was me, and then sneered: "What? You look like a ghost."

I said, come out, I need to talk to you about something. He said he didn't have time, I gritted my teeth: "Bitch, get out!"

He immediately became angry and ran downstairs, I waited for him in the back, and when I saw him coming I ran towards the back.

Behind the house there is a short slope, where Da Qiang's family has a deserted vegetable garden.

I climbed up the short slope and waited for him at the top of the slope. He quickly ran up, but did not do anything, just sneered: "What? Not happy? Is it because of your sister?"

My fists clenched to death as I stared and asked, "Why are you doing this? You want to marry my sister?"

He laughed: "No? Your sister is so pretty and simple, she's so much better than the city girls. And she doesn't even dare to speak up if I bully her, so if I get tired of playing with her one day I can still dump her.

I took a step forward, my voice was cold: "What about Huang Mao? He went to work with you, right, you are not afraid of him?"

Da Qiang laughed and burst into tears: “You’re stupid, he just wants to play with your sister, and today he said that he couldn’t get into your sister, so they would just rape her. They don’t care, those workers in Pearl River Delta, a lot of them are like this, they are all similar in this way, just get used to it.”

I stopped talking, reality had driven me to a dead end. Da Qiang's parents may like Li Xin, and they may let her study, but they can't imagine how disgusting their son is. In places they can't see, Daqiang will do many things that are inferior to animals.

Da Qiang was still laughing, and was very pleased with himself. I rammed over and slammed my fist into his jaw at once.

He screamed in pain and cursed back, "I'll fuck you up!"

He was so strong and tall that he almost knocked me back with a slap. My whole brain was buzzing, then a sharp pain in my lower back as he kicked me and I rolled into the dirt, the disgusting smell of chicken shit flooded my nostrils.

I didn't have the slightest chance to fight back, and it was so pathetic it made me want to cry. But I fought my way to my feet and roared like a wild animal: "Come on, I'll kill you!"

Big Qiang is more like a beast than I am, he crashed over and picked me up in an over-the-shoulder slam: "Damn, your sister is so precious, if you go to the Pearl River Delta, I will kill her!"

I once again fell heavily to the ground, feeling like my bones were shattered. Da Qiang's legs were next to me, I couldn't beat him, but I could bite.

I fiercely bit his calf, he screamed, the sound cut through the night sky, immense pain.

I smiled viciously, biting a piece of flesh and not letting go, he roared in pain, his thighs and body were squirming around trying to break free.

I wouldn't let go even if I died, so Da Qiang grabbed a stone and threw it on my back: "Fuck, let go!"

The stone smashed my back into numbness, and I almost let go, but I already had the will to die, hit me and I won't let go.

He smashed me over and over, and I bit harder and harder, and finally tore his jeans and muscles.

A large piece of meat was torn off by me, Da Qiang finally can not stand, sitting on the ground wailing: "My legs, I'll fuck you ah, my fucking legs!"

I opened my mouth and spat out the piece of meat, the blood was really disgusting. Da Qiang's calf was spurting blood and he was almost unconscious.

I grabbed the stone he dropped and grabbed it, lunged in the darkness and shone a stone at his head, he screamed again, blood flowing from his forehead.

I was completely mad at that moment, like a lion, thinking only of killing him and nothing else.

The stone was raised high and intended to smash down again. Suddenly, I was embraced from behind, and then there was a cry: "Stop it, he will die."

I was shocked, all the strength in my hands dissipated, it was Li Xin. When did she come with me?

I took a big breath and suddenly laughed at such a time, then cried, "Sister ...... sorry."

I also want to bash Da Qiang, I want him to die. With his death, Li Xin will be better off.

The stone fell again, and the strength gathered again. Li Xin grabbed my arm with both hands: "Don't...brother..."

It's like a beautiful flower blooming in the dark night, the pure white cloud poking out of the dead sky, the night wind blowing over the hillside, the withered grass squeaking softly, and the voice of my sister dissipates all my strength, the stone when it fell to the ground, I turned around and hugged her, crying like a child. 

Translator Notes: I guess this is an improvement to their relationship…? Although it is terrifying about what’s going to happen with Li Xin… hopefully everything goes better in the next one, and I’ll see you all then.