Chapter 31 Pongo The Penguin

A few days have passed, Aldred just realized that he hadn’t do much in the Divine Dimension

When he entered his dimension. The crops already grew. It still looked like how he left it before. Blue atmosphere, calming river, and sprawling trees.

[Would you like to increase the space by ten meter]

Oh, Aldred almost forgot about this one, but why only ten meter? Shouldn’t be ten planet?

[… User can expand the divine dimension at Silver Rank by 100 meter. At Gold Rank, user can expand the space by 1 Kilometer]

‘So the higher my rank, the more space I can expand.’

[Yes. At Gold Rank, user also received the option; Teleportation Points]

That intrigued Aldred. ‘Explain more to me.’

[User will receive 3 Teleportation Points that can be placed anywhere. When the user entered the divine dimension, user can teleport to that Teleportation Points]

‘Wow. That’s awesome! Alright, now increase the space for me.’

[Increasing space by 10 meter… Success. Congratulation for reaching the copper rank. Processing reward;…]

‘I got a reward? Nice. I wonder what will it be.’

[Reward obtained: Pongo the penguin]

‘What?’

A small stupid-looking penguin materialized and looked up at him. “What you looking at, bitch?”

“Fuck. You have a shitty mouth for a little penguin.”

“Who you call a penguin?” The penguin flapped its fins/wings/hands. Let’s just call it hands.

“You are pongo the penguin, not pongo the bitch.”

“Hmph! You have a shitty mouth yourself.”

“It’s you who started first. Did you eat too much fish?”

“Why?”

“Your breath stinks.”

“Fuck you!”

“No, fuck you! Hey system. I don’t want this shitty reward. I want a return. And some compensation for the emotional damage I got.”

“Fuck you. You think I am a pet that you can return?”

Aldred ignored him and shouted at the sky. “System! Get this little shit out of my sight.”

[…]

The penguin trembled in rage. “Fuck! Check out my pro gamer move!” He dashed forward and shot towards Aldred with a high speed.

The penguin narrowed his eyes. His target was as clear as the sun during the day—his crotch. Aldred just realized where the penguin was heading, and that was when he knew— he’ll be an eunuch.

“Ahhh!” Aldred screamed. “You little shit! Come here!”

The penguin throw up a wrench and slammed his left leg.

“OW! How the fuck did you get that?”

“Back in my early days, I am known as Rico the Demolition Master. I fought in a war called the Battle of Madagascar. You don’t know how many penguins I killed with these hands, so you better be careful around me.”

“Fuck you and your Madagascar.” Aldred kicked the penguin to the sky.

“Shame on you! Penguin can fly! Dive attack!”

The penguin performed a barrel roll and spun as it dived towards him.

“Hmph! You’re courting death!” He raised both of his fingers. “Pew pew pew pew pew pew pew.”

Fire bullets came at the penguin, but Pongo the penguin was a veteran in dive bombing an enemy. Thousands died upon his dive, and he had never missed his target. He dodged the fire bullets with such precision that only a master in the art of dodging could comprehend.

He twisted to the side. Roll over. Butterfly style, Backstroke, doggy style, freestyle.

“Shit!” Aldred activated his flame jet and flew towards the penguin. Pongo was surprised that his enemy could fly as well, but he never backed down from a challenge.

“Bring it then!” Pongo shouted.

“Hell yeah, I’ll bring it to you!”

They both crashed against each other with such speed that every beings in the multiverse felt something in their stomach.

Their battle inspired many myth, and yet, no one knew who who the true victor was.

Both of them fell to the ground, laying beside each other.

They both got exhausted. Chest went up and down with sweats all over their body.

“You’re not that bad,” Aldred said.

“You too,” Pongo said.

Then they shook hands and became brother for life.

Or at least, that was how it supposed to be.

“Fuck you! Monkey Peach Grabbing Ball Technique.” Aldred executed his technique with lightning speed.

“AHHH!” Pongo screamed.

Aldred stood up with a smile as the penguin trembled in pain on the ground. He stepped on the penguin and stared at him. “Your whole life has been written, and I have seen the end of it. And this is exactly it. Laying on the ground with my feet on your tiny little stomach.”

Aldred laughed. “Now be my slave or die!”

Pongo the penguin gritted his teeth. “Never!”

“Do you not fear death?”

“I never was, never is, and never will. The only fear I have is not taking a shit on your corpse one day.”

“Even in the face of death your mouth still stinks of shit.”

“Fuck you!”

Aldred sighed. “I will give you fish if you be obedient.”

Pongo narrowed his eyes and stared at him. Aldred stared back.

“You think a fish is enough to satisfy my ambition? My goal is beyond your understanding, mortal.”

“What about three fish every day?”

“Deal.”

Aldred rolled his eyes. He wanted to check his status and history, but nothing popped out. “Tell me about you. Where do you come from. How did you become my reward.”

“I don’t know, man. I was doing a covert operation in trying to find the Russian super duper secret submarine in antarctic, then when I am about to throw up a super duper deep-sea bomb to make the super duper secret submarine come to the surface, a flash of light filled my sight, and here I am.”

“I don’t believe a single word you say.”

“Hey, your brain, your choice. I am not going to judge.”

“The hell is that even mean?”

“It means you’re stupid.”

“They should have called you Pongo the Piss Maker. Because you’re pissing me off!”

“Whatever you say, Karen. Just don’t call the manager on me.”

Aldred got veins popped on his forehead. “What about your power? You seem weak and useless.”

The penguin made a look of ‘are you underestimating my power?’. “I am a tactical penguin, genetically-modified by the best super duper secret scientist ever existed. My stomach is known to hold a myriads of super duper tactical weapons such used in super duper covert, secretive, and winky-winky operation.”

“What’s winky-winky operation?”

“I cannot say. I am genetically super duper engineered not to say anything. In fact, I shouldn’t be talking at all.”

Aldred took a deep breath, holding the urge to kick the penguin again. “I still don’t know about your power.”

“I just fought you to a draw. Do we need other proof?”

“Fuck! I went easy on you!”

“Fine! Because I’m a tactical super-genetically-modified Spheniscidae, I am mostly tasked to obtain valuable items and information through covert and secretive operation.”

“You talk too much. What item have you been stealing?”

The penguin snorted. “Behold, my collection.”

He vomited a what seemed to be human feces.

“What the fuck is that?”

“It’s a human feces.”

So it really was a human feces. “Why would you steal something like that?”

“You don’t understand. This feces is manufactured by a controversial woman code named: Amber Hard. This feces is supposed to be a powerful proof that she indeed stain the bed, but because of you, the proof has to disappear along with me. Now the case has to be prolonged with objection hearsay every time our ally speak.”

Aldred sighed heavily. “Is there anything else?”

The penguin vomited out a piece of paper.

“What is this?”

“It’s the list for the talent and skill of a woman named: Kim Jardhasian.”

“But it’s blank.”

“Exactly.”

“Stop making me angry. Where is the weapon? Since you are so tactical, you must have a tactical nuke or something.”

“Why would I have such a thing?”

Aldred glared at him. ‘You have all this useless things, yet you don’t have a single weapon? Should I roast this penguin and eat him?’

“Enough about all this tactical bullshit, man. Where the fish at?”