CH 57

Faren was walking in the dark.

There was no salvation, no hope.

Just a life lived in order not to die.

No one to turn to, no one to rely on.

She grew up in a slum.

Clad in tattered rags, desperately searching for something to eat every day.

Every day she sleeps in a musty, dirty alleyway, using straw as bedding.

There was no one to trust, and no one to be trusted.

I was just lonely.

When I was five years old, my mother died.

My father had been gone for as long as I could remember.

In order to survive in the harsh environment, I stole many times.

If I was found, I would not get away with it.

At worst, I could be killed.

I was a child in a slum, and I had no family.

Even if they kill me, they won’t be charged with a crime.

It was a life that no one would grieve even if it was lost.

Despite this, Farren was able to survive thanks to a mysterious power.

It was something called magic.

By using magic, I was able to successfully steal without anyone knowing.

I didn’t think that stealing itself was a bad thing.

I didn’t know what was good and what was bad.

In the first place, I didn’t have the luxury of worrying about such things.

I lived in the slums for two years by myself.

At that time, I was skinny and small and was living as if I was about to die.

Then, one day, a woman dressed in white came to Farren.

I still remember that moment.

She must have been about 30 years old.

A beautiful woman with red hair took Faren out of the slums.

Her name was Sophie.

She was a person who had a great influence on Farren’s personality.

To tell the truth, Farren herself has no firm beliefs.

She has no sense of self.

She just wanted to be like the person who raised her.

That was Farren’s only intention.

Sophie had been kind to her.

She had given me so much.

She told me many stories.

She fed me good food.

She provided me with warm blankets.

She educated me.

She gave me love.

She filled the empty vessel that was Farren.

What happened with Sophie is the most important memory for Farren.

However, the time they were together was short.

A year and a half after we met, she passed away.

I decided to inherit Sophie’s thoughts, ideas, beliefs, principles, goals, and objectives.

However, Farren is not Sophie.

No matter how hard she tries to imitate her, she will fall apart because she is not her.

“What am I supposed to do……?”

I don’t know.

I’ve never thought about it myself before.

After Sophie disappeared, I had no one to guide me.

At the academy, I tried to act like a saint.

I was just copying what I thought Sophie would do.

I was sure that Sophie would extend a helping hand to anyone.

Sophie would smile calmly.

She would respect others.

I’m sure that Sophie would…….

That’s how I’ve been thinking and acting.

“What kind of person do you want to be, Farren-san?”

That’s what Sophie would sometimes ask me.

“I want to be just like you.”

I answered without showing a single hesitation.

When I did, Sophie laughed as if she was troubled.

“‘Don’t be like me, do what you want to do, be what you want to be.”

Sophie is what Farren wants to be.

That’s all she is.

But I’m sure Sophie doesn’t want that.

What is it that I want to do?

Did she really want to help Dominic?

No, I wanted to help him.

Even if it was not her idea, Sophie would wish for it.

And if Sophie wished it, then that was Farren’s wish.

But she couldn’t stop thinking about what Owen had said to her.

–It’s arrogant to save everything. Someday you’ll have to let go of what’s really important.

I don’t know.

I don’t know what’s really important.

Is it wrong to try to save someone?

I wonder what Sophie would have done.

Maybe there was a better way.

Was it the wrong means, or was it the wrong goal?

What is the right thing to do?

I don’t know.

I really don’t know what to do.

“What am I supposed to do?”

Farren muttered to the empty space.

However, there is no answer to his question.